Monday, January 25, 2010

Kittens and Puppies

I dreamt of kittens, puppies, and babies last night. Cheesy feel good stuff. Except that the puppy peed on my hand and the kitten kept jumping on the baby and knocking it over. It's feel good stuff with a side of reality thrown in.

It's kinda how life is going right now. I hung out with some friends last week, got my baby fix, and caught a big cold from a little baby. The long lost faucet piece we need to use our dishwasher has finally been shipped, but won't be here for another week. Which really isn't that long to wait considering we've been waiting to use the dishwasher for three weeks now. And of course, I wished for work and got it...a lot of it. The client that decided they didn't need the virtual tours I shot for them, decided on Friday that they wanted them stat. Well, they take time people. I'll get them to you next week if I continue these 14 hour days I've been working. Beggers can't be choosers...that goes for me and my client.

Today when I woke up from my kitten, puppy, and baby dream, I found that my cute little cat had redecorated....with yarn. Well, he redecorated his own little cat house, and that spilled out to the middle of our living room. It was a nice job, but not nearly as amazing as the works of art he used to do four years ago. I'm kinda thankful because really it took hours to take that work apart.

Anyway, this is my babbling while waiting for my computer to finish processing and my nose to stop running. We canceled our weekend in Santa Barbara for this and a cold. However, we will be going this weekend whether my cold is gone or my work is finished. So help me god!

Now I'm gonna start fantasizing about where we're going to vacation in April, what it will be like not to HAVE to carry a roll of toilet paper around with me in case of a nose running emergency, and being able to go out and photograph instead of looking at photographs I took three months ago.

I'm don't mean to complain but sometimes I'd like the mushy mushy fantasy stuff without the kick in the ass from reality.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Frizz Ease

I love a nice compliment. However, I always wonder when Mario compliments my hair at it's worst. Let me explain to you that I have naturally wrinkly hair. No, not a nice wave or curl. Wrinkly. With shots of frizz.

Today, I was walking by him and he says "oh honey, your hair looks nice! Did you do it today" Um, no it's a I've-been-at-the-computer-in-my-sweats-all-day kind of mess. I showered and let it do it's frizz wrinkle thing today...but apparently he likes it. That's nice.

Really, the part of his compliment that worries me was the "did you do it today?". It makes me wonder what he thinks of my hair on the days I actually do it. Maybe the wrinkles threw him off because I'm always trying to straighten that frizzy shit out. Or maybe he feels bad about making fun of my eyebrows all day yesterday. Either way, I'm going to just take the compliment and be happy that he likes me even when my hair is all jacked up.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Karma or Life Lesson

Today Mario and I went out to a nice sushi lunch. Rain, thunder, diet coke and fresh yummy sushi. I was a happy girl. So on the way back to the car, we stopped next store so could get my brows waxed. Yes, one of my favorite things next to fresh sushi is freshly manicured brows. I know, I'm a masochist.

I walk to the back with the lady. Lay on the table and endure the waxing. When she finishes, she hands me the mirror to check her work. I look excitedly and hand the mirror back. I pay her and we are on our way.

All is great. We are in the car driving and I sneak a peek in the rear view mirror. I notice that the inner part of the brows are a little different. I show Mario and he can see also...which means it must be really off. So, when we came to the next stop light and I pull my glasses down to get a better look. Wow she took a lot off the outer part of the my eyebrows. Um, no she just took a lot off my left eyebrow only. My left eyebrow is way shorter than my right eyebrow! Like one third shorter!

They are two different eyebrows! Horrible. This is why I don't like new waxers. You never know. I have been there before and it was fine.

The worst part is, it's all my fault. She handed me that mirror for approval. I was all excited to have the caterpillars tamed that I didn't look closely. I signed off on Cinderella and her ugly stepsister! Dammit, lesson learned!

Of course Mario was no help on the way home. He was nice enough to offer to draw in some eyebrow for me with some of his pens from work. He then asked me if all that extra eyebrow on the right side would make my head lean, then the car would veer to the right. Jerk!

Edited to we were looking through photos today, Mario just had to mention how nice and even my eyebrows were...wise-ass

Sunday, January 17, 2010


I'm proud to announce that I have officially unloaded the not because I finally got to use it, because the dishes REALLY needed to be washed. blah.

I checked the shipping information for that tiny little piece that will allow me to use our new dishwasher and it's back ordered. So now I am wondering if we are are going to have to wait until march to get the attachment.

These new fangled machines are too much work!

Friday, January 15, 2010

Apparently talking really does help. I woke up today feeling much much better. I'm still not sure what my funk is about, but I'm in a better mood regardless. I put my concerns out to the bloggy universe. Then went through and called all the friends I felt like I was neglecting. Sometimes all it takes is a phone call to make things feel good again. Plus all the normal friend gossip and giggling.

Today though, I'm still trying to figure out what I'm wanting. I have this part of me that wants to shut down my business and get a full time job. I would love to be able to go to work, do my job, and then leave it all behind each day. Sometimes the thought of having to figure out what the hell my business needs every day and having no one else to count on but me is a pain in the ass. If I don't do it, no one will.

I have big plans for my business this year and to be quite honest it intimidates the shit out of me. I have a degree in photography not business and a lot of times, I really wonder if I have what it takes to follow through with this. I'm sure I'm feeling the stress of redesigning my website and marketing plan for the year. I feel like I'm starting over in a lot of ways. I just wish I were more excited about it. I know if I can just get to a place where it's steady work, I can hire someone to do this everyday shit for me. But I feel the pressure of knowing we want kids very soon and knowing I really need to be farther along in my business. I don't want to go into motherhood with my business playing the yo-yo game.

The thing is, I know it can be done. My friend is a couple years ahead of me in business and she has it pretty well figured out. This year she's hired someone to do the every day stuff. She came to the realization that she's a photographer, not a designer, not a business manager. She wants to be the best photographer and mother. This means letting someone else do the other work. She's gotten her business to that point where she can be a mommy full time and then photograph weddings on the weekends.

I just feel so far away from that right now. Realistically, I know that this is the job I want to have when we have kids. I can be at home with them. I just need to get my ass in gear and get this business on track.

So this is where I'm at today. My boss is being an ass today, I don't feel like working today, I feel guilty about it...and there is no one else to do it for me! It's the best and worst job all in one!

Thursday, January 14, 2010

I keep waiting for that funny thing to happen so I can throw it on here and we can all have a good laugh, but the fact is, I've been in a pretty quiet mood since the start of the new year. New Years has become my favorite holiday the last few years. I get all excited and organize the shit out of the house and my business. Then I take time to really evaluate what needs organizing in my head.

Well, this year threw me for a loop. Turns out organizing the house is the easy part and I finished that early. Now I'm sitting here with myself trying to figure out what the hell I'm thinking and needing. Day one of this year started off on the wrong foot and I've had a problem getting out of that funk since.

Friendships have been the main focus of my thoughts lately. The theme of friendship has been something I've worked worked on for a long time. I've learned a lot about myself through friendships. I've learned to be a friend to myself. I've also learned to really listen to what someone is saying and sometimes to ignore it. I've learned that sometimes as hard as you try, you just can't always be the friend somebody needs.

I know every friendship is a two way street. There are two people who determine where it goes. I understand that. I can easily say "well they haven't called me either" or "I gave her options and she made her choice", but I also understand my part in it. That's what I have been thinking about.

Mostly I wonder if I am I really the friend that I think I am? I feel like I've been falling down on all counts as a friend lately. I let awkwardness keep me from spending time with one friend. I let drama from one friend change my plans with another friend. I let yet another friend get stuck in the middle of a situation. There's an argument with a friend that prevents us from being friends right now. And then there's just plain not being there.

I'm changing the situations I can and I'm trying to accept the situations that I can't change. However, the most important part for me, is learning from all of those situations. Yes, I'm one of those assholes that sees the lessons in everything. Maybe it just helps me accept what life has thrown at me. Maybe it helps me keep tabs on my own actions and teaches me not to make the same stupid mistakes again.

However, right now there is one hell of a lesson swimming around in my head and I'm just trying to figure it out. Let see, there's friendship, accountability, self respect...well, I have some more thinking to do. Needless to say, it's a mess up there right now.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Mario is out of a job

Last week Mario and I ended up at Best Buy with a friend. Best Buy is totally Mario's man store. Best Buy totally equals my love for Target. Where I can walk up and down the isles of Target for hours looking at home goods, clothes and nail polish. Mario can spend hours looking at tvs, stereo systems and Kung Fu really is upsetting how much time he can spend looking at Kung Fu movies.

He only needed to check one thing, but knowing his history with the Kung Fu, Colleen and I headed to the surround sound area to sit on the big leather couch they have. Colleen had pulled out the knitting and I had curled up on the couch for a warm winter nap...when we got a text message. "come to appliances". I immediately knew he was checking out the dishwashers. We had been talking about either adding in a butcher block or a portable dishwasher in the kitchen, so we could have some more counter space. I didn't think any of this would happen any time soon really. I was just happy we had a decent kitchen at this point. A new dishwasher would put it way over the top. However, Mario is the primary dishwasher in our house, so of course this was going to happen.

Colleen and I headed over to appliances. Mario was no where to be found. However, front and center was a portable dishwasher on clearance with a big dent in the side. I was kinda thanks. Do we really need to spend this money so soon after christmas? And by the way, where the hell is Mario? The man had disappeared. Turned out the man had sent the message from the bathroom...classy. I really don't know if it was really nature calling or if he wanted me and the dishwasher to get to know each other first.

He asked if they would take another $50 bucks off the price and next thing I know we are wheeling this dishwasher out to our truck. We are now the proud owners of a new dishwasher. Stopped on the way home to pick up some dish washing liquid, rolled her in the house, popped out that mean dent, and filled up the washer with all the dishes we could dirty. We rolled her over to the sink and realized that we didn't have the attachment that attaches it to the faucet. Not a problem. We'll get it tomorrow night. Well, tomorrow rolls around and we stop at the local hardware store. We pick up the last universal faucet attachment, walk up to pay for it, and it's not in the system. We call the man up to price check it and turns out all of the universal attachments have been recalled. Too much lead. They're not going to start making them again until March. What! Are you kidding me!

Well, we were going to use that dishwasher if it killed us! I started thinking. We were headed to Mario's mom's for dinner. Hadn't she just gotten a new universal faucet thingy? Maybe she had kept the old one and we could use it. Although there was the whole too much lead thing, we couldn't prove that was one of the bad ones(sure). As soon as march rolls around, we'll replace both attachments. Sure enough, Isabella had the old attachment. We took that baby home, attached it up, and it didn't fit.

I got online to find out what exactly I needed. Turns out it was supposed to have come with it's own piece. So I went back to Best Buy to see if they would by some tiny chance have that piece laying around waiting for me to pick it up. No. But they did order it for me. Should be here in another week...hopefully.

We have so far refused to unload the dishwasher. Luckily for me, I'm a little OCD and had given everything a really good rinse before loading the dishwasher, so nothing smells or is nasty. But we are living on a lower than normal amount of dishes and only a couple utensils. We could wash more but, we're out of dish soap.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

How to double the size of

I know I usually hold off on the nesting and reorganizing until January, when I get all inspired to tackle all that crap. However, this year I got it all finished before Christmas. Partially it was having my mother, sister and her boyfriend, Tim, over for Christmas. Partially, it was the nesting thing kicking in early. Mostly, I was way excited to be finished with the photos from that last big shoot. I mean excited! I was so revved up, I organized shit I had no intention of organizing. It's like when you start organizing the bedroom, and then somehow find that the the closet has exploded out onto the bed. You weren't going to go near the closet, because that's a whole day in itself. But there you are in the closet and the room is still a complete mess. It's usually at that point when you realize neither will get finished, so you just push everything back in the closet and kick the rest under the bed. Well, I ran into that problem where cleaning one thing leads to another, leading to yet another...and I finished it all. Making this little apartment downright pleasant to be in.

I know I talk about moving out of this apartment a lot. I try to keep it off of the bloggy for your sanity, but really I think about it all the time. However, somewhere in mid December I realized we have a lot of little pluses about this place. First, it's easier to stay here and save money for a house. I don't really think it's worth moving unless we can find something for a REALLY great price with a backyard and an extra bedroom. We love our little backyard area with the fire pit and we don't want to loose that. Mario works about three blocks away right now, so he walks to work and come home for lunch. Our landlord is really laid back and lets us do what we need to be happy here. And the best part is this place has been so quiet without those jerk neighbors across the way.

Mars and I have talked about our major problems with this place. Space is the biggest problem. We have a small living room and the tiniest kitchen there ever was made. I feel like a boat kitchen might be a little smaller, but at least it utilizes the space better.

Most of the changes I needed to make happened on accident. I needed something to put the Christmas tree on and decided the coffee table would be perfect. Moved the coffee table up against a wall and out of the middle of the room. All of a sudden, people were walking in saying the room looked bigger. Problem solved. The coffee table is not coming back. Also, putting up Christmas decorations meant moving other things around and finding new places for them. I found places and when I took the Christmas decor down, I couldn't remember what all I have moved. So there. I little extra space in the living room.

The bigger of the problems is the kitchen. Tiny room. Miserable to work in really. Believe it or not, that problem started solving itself when I bought my laptop. Once I got the laptop, I tasted the sweet freedom that was not having to be attached to my desk. I can work any where in the house I feel...and I have. The one place I do not work anymore, is at my desk.

So I talked Mario into taking over my desk. His desk has been in what our landlord generously called the "dining room". Really it's the little space at the end of the kitchen that really can't fit any reasonable sized table. We had a bookshelf in there and Mario's desk. I was able to move the bookshelf into our room and take down his desk. Freeing up a ton of space.

The question was...what do we do with ALL THIS SPACE! We discussed this for a while. I would love a reading nook. I would love a dinner table. I would be happy with it just being a cute little storage area for kitchen stuff. Then it occurred to me...why can't I move the fridge over to that empty area? If I did, it would open up the entire kitchen! Why had I never thought of this. I guess I got sucked into thinking it was a kitchen and dining room just like the landlord said. Well, thinking I was the most brilliant person ever, I told Mario. His reply..."well yeah, Ben next door has his fridge over there and it makes the kitchen way bigger." Are you kidding me? Why have I not known this and why didn't you tell me about this before? Then I did Mario know this. So I asked "Have you been in Ben's house?" a little jealous like, because I am a snoop and would love to see how he has the identical apartment set up. Mario says "no, I just look in his door all the time" He must really look a lot to know where his fridge is and how much it opens up the kitchen.

Anyway, once we figured out this was an option, we moved that bitch of a fridge. It was the best decision I have made in a long time. I can't believe how much happier I am! We didn't have the kitchen finished when my family got here on Christmas Eve, but my sister ran in yelling about how big the kitchen looked. The kitchen has literally doubled in size. It wasn't finished but my sister and I were able to both be in the kitchen making our traditional German Bierocks (think empanada) without stomping on each other and getting on each other's nerves.

Since then, I have put in a cute shelf. That shelf allowed me to reorganize the cupboards and free up a ton of space. We also, added some counter space in by buying a portable dishwasher...I'll tell you more about that situation tomorrow.

But do you know what? I really love it here now. I feel like we have space and it's all organized. Which totally enables me to think clearly. We want to stay put and save money up to buy a place next year, but we've totally given this place a new lease on life. Sure there are tons of things that still need to be taken care a new air conditioner Mr landlord...but we're happy with what we have right now.

PS Even better is the garden area outside that the landscapers cleared out and left mostly empty. I'm gonna take it over as my veggie garden. Haven't decided if I should ask the landlord or just take it over. I'll probably run it by the landscapers though just to keep it safe.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

I guess I should explain...

my long absence. I know, I know, I promised I was back. I honestly thought I was. Then our internet was turned off.

Let me start off by telling you that paperless billing is great. Nothing makes me crazier than all that bullshit that comes in the mail. It's a waste of paper and a waste of my awesome mail lady's time to carry. However, paperless billing fails you, when the emailed bill goes to the spam folder.

Of course we wondered why we had extra money in our account, but we were just happy to have some extra money coming into the christmas season for once! So just before we left for thanksgiving, we found out why we had extra money. Turns our we didn't pay our cable/internet bill two months because that didn't have a damn paper bill. We were officially offline.

Easy enough fix right? Sure, we paid our bill. Then told them to hook us back up. I can only guess that a LOT of people are not paying their bill, because they asked that we pay $450 to reinstate our internet. Not a deposit, just a payment. Well, we said no way mister internet company. Cable is really not that important to us and we'll just look for another internet company.

Well, between christmas, completely reorganizing our house, and preparing for the tornado that is my family coming for a visit; we totally ignored the internet situation. We didn't forget about it by any means. We jonesed for internet every day that we were without it.(btw, is this how you spell jonesed? Jonesed and Jonesing aren't in the spell check and I feel like this is a basic thing I should know)

Needless to say, we found a new internet provider. Even though we did under protest. Ok I was the only one protesting. I really hate all those hidden charges. Why not just be the one honest company and post what your real prices are. Well, Mario wanted the damn internet back and he found someone reasonable.

So now here we are. Back online and finally blogging again. Believe it or not, I have a lot to tell you about. This is only my lazy Sunday blog explaining I've been MIA because of stupidity.