Tuesday, May 29, 2012

He delivers again

Last Friday, Mario got ready for work as usual. Showered, got dressed, gave me a kiss, put on his shoes and headed out the door. Almost. I noticed he had missed a little something.

Mario..."Bye Sweets. Talk to you later. Love you!"
Me..."ok. Love you too....uh...were you gonna put a shirt on?"
Mario looking down and seeing nothing but chest hair and laughing "Well, it is casual Friday!"

We both laughed for a bit and then he said "No wait, I think it's Bear Day at work."

The man cracks me up. He finally put a shirt on and headed out to work. I wish I would have let him go, just to see how long it would have taken him to realize he was half naked.

Wednesday, May 09, 2012

Who Ya Gonna Call

One of the things I thought we had left at the old house was the ghosts. Sit on the couch long enough and you were bound to see a shadow out of the corner of your eye move across the bedroom. Recording Mario talking in his sleep, meant hearing a few extra voices in there too. What ever spirits were in that little apartment weren't mean or bad, but they sure wear on you after a while.

Moving into this apartment across town has been nice. Not just the extra space, but the quiet. It's nice being able to sleep without feeling the traffic move around the bedroom or feel like there's someone with you in the bathroom (yes, most the time it was the cat, but the feeling was still there when the cat wasn't and no it wasn't what Mario likes to call his Tijuana fog bank). The absolute quiet is probably something you wouldn't even notice unless you moved from a very "full" house, into a very quiet and empty one. It's been very, very nice. It's probably what makes this place seem that much bigger. Less souls living here.

I guess after the last apartment, I expected there to be a little something here. I had hoped not, of course. It is an older building, after all, I shouldn't be too surprised if there is something here. I expected it'd be a little while before anything made itself known. Sometimes it takes a while to get used to a place, before you start noticing the quirks.

Whether you believe in ghosts or not, it's always a shock to hear a voice with no body.

The first time I heard it, Mario and I were in the living room. Just a quick whisper of something. Kind of muffled. I immediately had a knot in my stomach. That feeling that something different is happening. Your senses feel heightened as you block out everything else that's going on around you, just to make sure you are hearing what you think you are hearing. I froze and I could see Mario heard it too. Just a few words. I wish I could have heard the words better.

We can't hear the neighbors talk at all through the walls. We can hear them walking, but no talking. Sometimes, we can hear people walking on the sidewalk in front of our apartment, but this wasn't what I heard. It was from the middle of the living room. Luckily, Mario and I were on the way out, so we could walk away for a bit.

Me "You heard that didn't you?"
Mario "Yeah, I heard it"

Believe it or not, by the time we had gotten back, we had forgotten about it. Days passed and I hadn't even thought about it. Until Mario woke me up one morning and told me he had heard something in the middle of the night. He had woken up to use the bathroom and came back to bed. As he laid back, he heard a voice on my side of the bed. He said he heard a woman talking. At first, he thought it was someone trying to jimmy our window open. Then as he stood up to go over, the voice stopped and he realized there was no one at the window.

That scared me. One of the creepiest things I can think of is someone standing over me while I sleep! I do not like it in any way, shape, or form! This situation wasn't looking any better than the last apartment. I was a little bummed. At least this didn't seem like a mean or vicious spirit. It honestly was fairly happy sounding. I can live with a happy ghost. We had one angry ghost at the last place...not mean, just a grumpy guy. The rest were nice enough. One even told me to turn out the light on one of the recordings of Mario. You could hear Mario snoring, you could hear me flipping the pages on my book as I read, and then clear as day, very close to the microphone you could hear "Turn out the light" in a loud whispery voice. I still get chills thinking about it.

I kind of resolved myself to living in another apartment with a few extra spirits living here. We'd just see how it went. So, it was a freeze-where-you-are, drop-what-is-in-your-hand-moment, when I heard a woman right next to me in the bedroom say "Shoe, Shoe!" in a sing songy kind of way. You know that jolt you get when someone jumps out at you? I jolted, froze, and then said some bad words. Then some more bad words.

Because it was a nano second after that, that I realized what it was. What we had been hearing for the last week. What had been scaring the Holy Hell out of us! It was a stupid game on the ipad! A game I had downloaded, looked at, and then forgotten to delete when I realized how lame it was. That bitch was randomly yelling "Shoe, Shoe!" to remind me that she was still there in my ipad waiting for me to boss her around!

What I heard in the middle of the living room...was a muffled "shoe, shoe!" from the ipad that was buried in the bottom of my purse sitting on the couch. The voice Mario heard in the middle of the night was "Shoe, Shoe!" from the ipad charging on the floor next to our bed. The voice that I heard right next to me in the bedroom was the ipad sitting on my dresser as I bent over to make the bed. I even jumped this morning when the little twerp yelled "Shoe, Shoe!" as I was trying to get a pair of panties from my dresser.

Maybe it's a lesson. A reminder to appreciate the quiet that we have now. Or maybe it's a lesson in not downloading every free app that comes my way. Either way, I will take any of those lessons over a noisy ghost that yells "Shoe, Shoe!" all the damn time!

Wednesday, May 02, 2012

I swear he does this stuff just so I have something to write about

Mario and I chatted as he was getting ready for work this morning. He reached inside the top drawer of his dresser and pulled out some lotion and started lotioning up his feet. The man wears flip flops full time and gets a bit rough...ok the man gets hobbit feet.

When he finished, he leaned over and gave me a kiss and got up to leave.

Me... "Babe, your forehead is a bit dry. You should put a little lotion on there too"
Mario... "Let me look to see of this lotion is for faces also. I bought it for my feet."
Me..."I don't think it sould be a problem. It's just lotion"
Mario pulling the lotion out and reading it "Natural Instincts Color Conditioning Treatment...well it doesn't say I can't put it on my face."
Me..."Mario that's hair conitioner!"
Mario ..."What? No."
Me..."Is that what you were smearing all over your feet?"
Mario "Yes, Well thats ridiculous! It looks identical to the lotion!"

 Then he reached in his drawer and pulled out the real lotion.

Mario..."Yup they're identical!"

 It took a while for us to recover and thats when he tried to blame me for his putting the hair conditioner in his drawer...therefor putting conditioner on his feet.

Mario..."How Long has that even been in there? Must have been in there for a long time!"
Me..."No Thats the conditioner from when I colored my hair last Friday night. You can even see the hair color on the bottle"
Mario... "Why would you put that in my drawer?"
Me..."I didn't. I left it on the kitchen sink."
Mario..."How did it get in my drawer then?"
Me..."Because you are like a crow! You see shiny things and hide them away! You can't stand to see things out and if its small enough you hide it in your top drawer. There is all kinds of crap in your drawer."
Mario..."I'm a crow? I did not put this in my drawer."
Me..."You hoarded it like a crow or a weasel."
Mario ..."I prefer weasel."
Me..."Go rinse your feet then weasel."
Mario..."Don't need to. My feet soaked it in and are soft sultry now"