I swear he does this stuff just so I have something to write about

Mario and I chatted as he was getting ready for work this morning. He reached inside the top drawer of his dresser and pulled out some lotion and started lotioning up his feet. The man wears flip flops full time and gets a bit rough...ok the man gets hobbit feet.

When he finished, he leaned over and gave me a kiss and got up to leave.

Me... "Babe, your forehead is a bit dry. You should put a little lotion on there too"
Mario... "Let me look to see of this lotion is for faces also. I bought it for my feet."
Me..."I don't think it sould be a problem. It's just lotion"
Mario pulling the lotion out and reading it "Natural Instincts Color Conditioning Treatment...well it doesn't say I can't put it on my face."
Me..."Mario that's hair conitioner!"
Mario ..."What? No."
Me..."Is that what you were smearing all over your feet?"
Mario "Yes, Well thats ridiculous! It looks identical to the lotion!"

 Then he reached in his drawer and pulled out the real lotion.

Mario..."Yup they're identical!"

 It took a while for us to recover and thats when he tried to blame me for his putting the hair conditioner in his drawer...therefor putting conditioner on his feet.

Mario..."How Long has that even been in there? Must have been in there for a long time!"
Me..."No Thats the conditioner from when I colored my hair last Friday night. You can even see the hair color on the bottle"
Mario... "Why would you put that in my drawer?"
Me..."I didn't. I left it on the kitchen sink."
Mario..."How did it get in my drawer then?"
Me..."Because you are like a crow! You see shiny things and hide them away! You can't stand to see things out and if its small enough you hide it in your top drawer. There is all kinds of crap in your drawer."
Mario..."I'm a crow? I did not put this in my drawer."
Me..."You hoarded it like a crow or a weasel."
Mario ..."I prefer weasel."
Me..."Go rinse your feet then weasel."
Mario..."Don't need to. My feet soaked it in and are soft sultry now"