Butthead

I need to revisit something I'm sure I've written about previously. Mario's thievery. Twice in the last week Mario has stolen my towel. The first time was early in the week. He had decided the day before that the towel he was using was dirty and he needed a new towel. So, he threw his towel in the laundry...and then forgot to get a new towel for the next morning. Keep in mind that the linen closet is right outside the bathroom door. The man could take one step out grab a towel and then get to drying. However, this is never the option he chooses. He instead uses my towel to dry off. Before I start sounding like a winy brat, let me explain. There are usually three towels on the back of the bathroom door. A big towel for Mario's drying needs, a big towel for my drying needs, and a small towel I wrap my hair up. I really wouldn't mind if the man used my big towel to dry off, however that's never the towel he chooses to steal. He always grabs the small towel I use for my hair. He drys all his manly bits and his man crack, then hangs my towel back up and says nothing. So, when I get out of the shower grab my towel, it's only when I get on my head, that I notice that it's damp and has been previously used. This is also when it occurs to me that he's been drying his butt with it...I know he is clean from the shower, but it's the principle! Of course I mention this to Mario. He just apologizes and that's that. What I really want to know is why he doesn't just get a new towel out of the linen closet? If you can't get a new towel out of the linen closet then why not use the normal size towel that is right there hanging next to the small towel? Why the small towel? Does he think a smaller towel equals a smaller offence? When laundry day came later in the week, I washed all the towels. I made sure to hang up three towels on the door ready for our showers the next morning. Little did I know, that I had made a crucial mistake. Mario's towel is always on the same spot on the back of the door. His towel is always on the right side. My towels always on the left. It's nothing we planned, but I figure, why confuse the situation by moving towels around each day. There are times we use the same color towel, it's easier if we just stick to our own sides. Don't worry, I didn't change his towel spot on the the door. However, I did put up a towel that we don't normally use. Because it was in the normal spot, I didn't see this as a problem. Three clean towels on the door. The next morning when I got out of the shower and wrapped my towel around my head, it was already damp. What the hell? I felt the towel that I had put up for Mario and it was dry. Are you kidding me? Luckily he was still home. So I confronted him...yes I did. Me..."Mario, you used my towel again!" Mario..."Sorry, babes" Me..."Why'd you use my towel again?" Mario..."Cause I didn't know which towel to use" Me..."Your towel is always in the same spot. You could have asked. I was just in the next room." Mario..."Yep, could have. Sorry." Me..."I think I need to tell you the importance of this towel" Mario...blank look Me..."you know there are always three towels hanging up. Your towel, my towel, and my hair towel. The smaller towel is my hair towel." Mario...blink Me..."I use this towel to dry my hair. You just used it to dry your butt and balls" Mario..."yes I did" Me..."that makes me a butthead" Mario..."Yes it does!" Me..."I just washed this towel from the last time you made me a butthead. That's twice this week you made me a butthead" Mario..."Yes!" Me..."Jerk...I don't care if you use my big towel, but don't touch the small towel!" Mario..."butthead" I think he does this on purpose.