tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31021966588698387332024-03-13T14:10:44.122-07:00Water BloggedLife, liberty and the pursuit of myself!Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13976822762604951093noreply@blogger.comBlogger499125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3102196658869838733.post-20831430669936795162016-07-12T13:53:00.002-07:002016-07-12T13:54:50.780-07:00There is a differenceI was asked by a friend to write this out as a blog post. I was telling her about this meetup group that I just started going to for families of adoption. It's a mixed group of people who have adopted domestically, internationally, through foster care, etc and also those who are in the process of adopting.<br />
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In our last meetup, one of the women was asking why we keep talking about how hard it is at first. She said she has friends and family who have biological children, and she never hears about this struggle that adoptive parents seem to talk about. This is not to say that it's not hard for all new parents. However, there is definitely a different struggle adoptive/foster parents are dealing with.<br />
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After hearing a few people in the group miss the point of her question, I decided to speak up.<br />
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I have a friend who loves to point out the similarities we had preparing for baby. There was about 9-12 months of preparation for us to become foster parents...similar to the 9 months of gestation in pregnancy, I would have these crazy dreams of inadequacy as a parent...similar to a pregnant mother, etc. Then there is the waiting and not quite knowing when there will be a baby in your arms. There were other examples she would come up with, I just can't remember and really it's not important.<br />
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When you are pregnant with your baby, you spend that time bonding with and getting to know your baby. They learn your voices. They learn the feel of your movement. The baby is encircled and protected by mom. You are their protection, safety and comfort. That is all they have known for 9 months.<br />
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When the baby is born, that bond continues. Plus, you know what to expect. A mushy newborn. Now you get to know this baby in person and you get to see them stretch and kick at 10pm like they did when they were in your belly.<br />
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Our entry into parenthood was a rambunctious toddler dropped off at our house at 6pm on a Friday. Here are his things, I'll check in with you later. That was it. It was like a bomb went off in our lives. We didn't know what he liked to eat. We didn't know his bedtime routine or even what time he went to bed. We didn't know what scared him or what made him laugh. We had a miniature stranger in our house.<br />
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The hardest part and the real struggle that we all talk about is knowing we are strangers to him. We weren't that comfort or safety for him. We weren't that familiar smell or soothing voice. We can't just hold him and feel him relax in our arms. Luckily this comes with time.<br />
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Let me tell you, Mario and I took turns those first few weeks waking up in pure anxiety wondering what we had done. Was it worth it? would would it get better?<br />
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Before you become a parent, you absolutely know how you are going to parent and what rules you'll have...and then you have this toddler in your home screaming at the top of his lungs because you told him "no". This is when you realize that you know absolutely nothing of parenting.<br />
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Another new thing you have to learn is how to communicate with your spouse as parents...you've never communicated to them like this before. Also, as similar as you thought your parenting styles were, they are now very different when faced with a tantruming toddler.<br />
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No matter how soon after birth you have that baby placed in your arms, that baby experiences the trauma. The trauma of loosing or being removed the safety of that familiar smell and sound of the birth parent that they have known as they formed in uterus. No matter how unsafe that situation was, It's a jolt in their world. No matter how much you wish or think it won't matter...it does. You are now parenting a child who has experienced trauma and loss. This will always be there.<br />
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Luckily we all adapt to change. We learn to sooth and your baby learns to feel safe in your arms and comforted by you. You learn what the cries mean and sometimes you even enjoy those sweet moments in the middle of the night when you have to rock them back to sleep. You create a schedule and learn their favorite foods. That anxiety that woke you up making you question your decision to foster or adopt, slowly fades. Soon enough you have a new normal.<br />
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<br />Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13976822762604951093noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3102196658869838733.post-51587660702303566682016-04-24T22:55:00.000-07:002016-04-24T22:55:37.077-07:00Rolling up on 40 yearsI'm not sure when it happened...but I'm almost 40 years old. I don't feel 40. I don't think I look 40. I sure as shit don't act 40. How does that just happen?I think I'm actually handling it better than I did turning 30. However, I've made plans to ensure that I have a good birthday and don't spend my time crying.<br />
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First, I decided I wanted to do something with my family. After much searching online for unusual things to do like camp in yurts, stay in kitchy mobile home and rent a cabin somewhere...it was finally decided to just take the drunk cruise with the fam. I wasn't particularly excited to go on the same cruise for the third year in a row, however, I haven't been with my mom and sister. I went with my sister about 10 years ago. I haven't gone with my mother or brother in law...and I certainly haven't gone with a toddler in tow. So hopefully this will make it new and exciting. I wasn't excited to go on this cruise as a memorable 40th birthday, but I love how excited my mom is and I'm really starting to get into the idea.<br />
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I've also decided to go with a birthday party. And I mean all out. I love sharks, so I'm planning a shark themed birthday party. I've already picked out all the decor. Mario decided we should cater this great mexican restaurant. Then we'll throw a movie up on the wall of the house and watch some seriously cheesy shark movie. I'm more than excited about this! I'm also very close to hiring a mariachi band to play for a bit. It all works with the theme of the shark movie.<br />
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The movie is supposedly set in Mexico. However to save money, it was filmed in Czechoslovakia or some place like that. They threw some mexican flags up and called it a day. So I'm going with it...mexican flags and all!<br />
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I might be a little more excited about the party than the cruise...but I'm so happy! It's the best way to bring on the big 40! My sister already told me that she wants to bail on the cruise and just hit the party...I don't blame her.<br />
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I think just to round out the month, I might plan something else...we'll just have to see!<br />
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<br />Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13976822762604951093noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3102196658869838733.post-67058914403748164452016-04-22T00:21:00.000-07:002016-04-22T00:21:46.650-07:00Oh the WaitToday Mario and I left Joy with the babysitter and headed to family court for the first time since becoming foster parents. We wanted to show our faces to the judge, so she would know that we are serious about our want to adopt this kiddo.<br />
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We packed for a long wait. Books, snack, phones charged. We got there just when we were supposed to. Of course I was pulled out at security because I had scissors in my purse and my pokey self defense key chain. While I walked my contraband back to the car, Mario checked in.<br />
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When I got back, I found out we were waiting for the list of hearings to find out where we needed to go. After about 45 minutes, the list came out and Mario got in line. After what seemed like a very long time, I got up to see where he was and found him just walking up to the desk. Long story short, She was listed under a incorrect last name. After a long search and lots of double checking birthdays and hearing numbers...we were on our way upstairs. The whole time Mario kept saying "I hope we didn't miss the hearing. We were stuck down there for so long"<br />
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Upstairs we got off the elevator to the holding pen. It was a huge room with tons of families waiting around for their time in the court room. Some seemed to know the drill well and brought games and activities for the kids. Some families were quiet. Some families were just enjoying the visit with their kids. It was nice and strange all at the same time.<br />
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Around this big "L" shaped room on outside part of the L were a bunch of smaller rooms where the trials were held. There were layer types walking in and out of rooms and into other rooms. Randomly a bailiff would walk out and call a name. Some of the lawyers would call out names and others were just hanging out waiting for their time in the courtroom.<br />
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We waited around awkwardly not sure what to be doing. We were told to check in with the bailiff, however, we didn't see our bailiff for a long time. After the name mix up downstairs, I was texting with Joy's social worker, trying to make sure we had the correct name and also throwing in a last minute request to take Joy on a cruise in June for my birthday.<br />
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Now I needed to find her attorney among the waves of people coming in and out of the court rooms. I asked a few people to no avail. Finally, finally! Around 11am I saw our bailiff come out. I ran up to him to check in...and found out that her trial had been first thing in the morning. Mario had been right...we missed it. I was so bummed!!<br />
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I really wanted to be able to show the judge that we were there and serious. This court hearing was for TPR. Termination of Parental Rights. If they granted the request for TPR, this will open up Joy for adoption. After a year of fostering, we are skeptical and hesitant about things. This is a big step for Joy and us. We wanted everything to go well...missing the hearing was not part of the plan!<br />
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Luckily the bailiff was just so nice. First he asked where the heck we had been...we explained sitting out there waiting to see him and also stuck downstairs with a name mix up. He went back in the court to find out the outcome of the hearing and to hopefully find Joy's attorney. The attorney was gone already. However, he kindly told us (after asking us if we were wanting to adopt Joy) that TPR had been granted and that meant that she was now free for adoption.<br />
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Cue the crying! I cried walking to the elevator, I cried walking to the car, I cried driving to our celebratory lunch, I cried texting my family and calling our social worker to find out what is next.<br />
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We came home and spent the rest of the day enjoying Joy. Excited about the prospect of adopting the awesome little girl and a little sad for her family. This is a learning process and journey I hadn't thought we'd be going on...but I love it and know it's what we are supposed to be doing.Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13976822762604951093noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3102196658869838733.post-60133574582936536072016-04-18T12:54:00.002-07:002016-04-18T12:54:43.296-07:00My SpaceIt all starts with a garden. My sister in law has talked about putting in a veggie garden for a while...like when she bought her house 4 years ago. I know I've mentioned this before. Where she is a dreamer, I am more of a do-er. We discuss veggie garden and I go out and buy the plants. She keeps thinking about it, until someone else takes the lead.<br />
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A month ago we talked out the logistics. Two 4ft x 6 ft beds. No you don't need 2 foot high beds...that's a LOT of dirt to come up with. I know what veggies I would want to put in...all my usual stuff. Tomatoes, zucchini, lettuce, onions, herbs, all the good stuff! However, being this is my SIL's backyard, I asked what she would want planted. I secretly was very curious because...well, my SIL doesn't really eat vegetables. So, I can only imagine whatever she plants would just be for looks.<br />
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I thought we were all figured out. I was just waiting for her to get started on her raised bed project. I mean she has been talking about this for years, now you have help...lets do this! But there was no action.<br />
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She's definitely one of those people that will come up with lots of ideas...but there's no follow through. Though she would never admit it, she's the type of person who wants someone with her holding her hand to get things done. Just moving in, we had to push her to get stuff moved, hidden, garage sale-d, donated, etc. We moved in a month later than planed because of lack of motivation. Like I said raised beds have been talked about since she bought this house.<br />
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Cut to last week, I had a baby sitter for Friday and no shoots on the books. And as much as I am completely against being an enabler, I had decided to get those beds in! I had planned all week to finally buy the makings. Thursday, I'd buy the lumber. Friday, I'd build and start getting the dirt in. I was excited. I'm dying to get a garden going! There's space and it'd be great for the kid to help...and veggies!<br />
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However, I had decided I wasn't going to tell the SIL. I was just going to do it and make it my little project and then she could see it on the weekend when she went outside. I think this was my way of not being an enabler, if it's my project then I'm not doing it for her. Plus, I would be going with what she had planned about as far as size and placement went, so I wouldn't be over stepping any lines.<br />
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Just before I headed over to buy the lumber, I decided to ask the mister one last time if he was ok with this. All week, he had seemed cool with it. So, I'm not really sure why I asked. However, now he really seemed hesitant. He thought we should tell her. So, I told him to send her a quick message letting her know that I was buying the stuff.<br />
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That's when it all went sideways. Mario was really busy and knew this would start a long line of questioning...and boy did it! I am irritated because I know this is the only way these beds will get in. And the SIL is asking a million questions about types of wood, size and locations and a million other questions. I told him to tell her never mind. That's when I completely lost my mind for an hour.<br />
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I'm tired of being in someone else's home, using there stuff, asking for permission, following other people's rules. The only space that is mostly ours is our bedroom and it's hard for two grown adults to live in one small space and work out of that space. So, I know it all boils down to needing my own little space. I need a spot that I can make my own decisions about. I don't want to have to ask what type of plants I can put in. I don't want to be looked at and silently judged on how I am doing something. I just want to put in some goddamn veggies without any problems. I feel so trapped right now.<br />
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So, I'm looking for a community garden spot. Of course there are waiting lists for any local gardens. However, the thought of having that spot for myself...is amazing! The thought makes me happy and hopeful. We might be out of here before I get that little plot of land, but I'll still give it a shot! Here's to a little freedom!Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13976822762604951093noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3102196658869838733.post-19912395141052368922016-04-05T22:53:00.001-07:002016-04-05T22:53:12.111-07:00LatelyLife has been pretty quiet lately. My work has been quiet the last two or three weeks. I think that's due to spring break. This week is definitely picking up...thankfully! Shoots are on the books, so I can relax a bit.<br />
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Mario has been working hard...a few late nights. Which is fine when it's sushi night! There was a week or two in there that we didn't see him much.<br />
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This kidlet is just doing her thing...being cute. She's also learning a lot of new things lately. She's been signing some words that she can't quite say yet, like please and "all done". It's pretty cute to see her getting excited to use communication that we all know. A lot less frustration for all of us. She's just been taking off with her learning!<br />
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Of course true to toddler form, she's also pushing limits and being a sass pants...but she's good at it! I see her lean back on the couch and put her feet up on the coffee table and I see a teenager! the thought scares me, but I'm glad she's so relaxed with us and feeling comfortable.<br />
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Her next court date is in a few weeks and we should get a better idea of how long she'll be with us. No one wants to see her go and her social worker and adoption worker would love to see us adopt. However, we've been in this fostering long enough to know nothing is set in stone. It's completely up to the judge. They will always place with family first. So, while we'd love to adopt her one day...we'll get excited when we are signing the papers! You know...expect the worst, hope for the best.<br />
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That's mostly it for us. Mario and I have taken on a new little project, that's under wraps for now. We're having fun though. No not baby making...we are happy with our fostering journey. This is fun stuff. One day we'll tell people...for now, under wraps. I know...vague and annoying.<br />
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Other than that...it's work and some relaxing. I'm ok with that. That means we are getting to spend our time enjoying the kid!Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13976822762604951093noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3102196658869838733.post-39143753640092839052016-03-10T23:31:00.002-08:002016-03-10T23:31:30.934-08:00Venting and a RewardLast week Mario's sister gave Mario and the baby the greatest gift of all...a nasty cold. I was a bit mad. I told her to steer clear of the baby. If you are sick, do everyone a favor and stay in quarantine. It's not fair to pass the crap to everyone else because you feel the need to be in the living room and don't cover your mouth when ya cough...you old enough to know how colds are spread.<div>
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Mario came home from work at lunch one day last week and collapsed into bed. Then the baby started coughing. Mama was not happy at all. It fully hit the baby just after bedtime. She spent an hour crying. I felt so bad for her. She was so uncomfortable and achy. Needless to say, Mario was irritated when his sister came out of her room at midnight to ask if the baby was crying because she was teething. Uhh no, you gave her the nasty cooties. So there was a trip to the pharmacy at midnight for a humidifier (a miracle worker!) </div>
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Mario was out 2 days from work. The baby was down most of the weekend. She was a top notch grouch...rightfully so! It was trying to say the least. Single mother of two sick whiny babies! haha.</div>
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We made it through the weekend though and then Mario's sister left town for work a few days ago. I have to admit it's a great to have the house to ourselves. I really really appreciate that my SIL has given us this opportunity to live here, however, even after 6 months of living here...it still is her house and her space. </div>
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I feel like there is this constant reminder any time I move something...my stuff, my house. It's strange cooking in someone else's pots and using someone else's utensils and not knowing if it's really ok or it's merely being tolerated. There is a stack of laundry on the dryer that I don't know where to put, because it's not my place to go through dressers to find where things go. So it's just accumulates. </div>
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As I've stated before, we are much more active with the cleaning. Dishes included. There was a pot in the sink for 3 weeks because she didn't want to put the effort in to cleaning the burned on cheese from her work party...or maybe she thinks this is something we owe her for living here? Mario finally gave in...I wasn't happy that he did it, but it was disgusting.</div>
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There's a leak on the faucet in the front yard. It's only gotten worse in the last few weeks. We are in a drought...we are wasting so much water! She's tried putting a sealant on it, but it's a cracked pipe...sorry, you need a plumber now. No we needed a plumber 2 weeks ago!</div>
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It's frustrating to say the least. It's been made painfully clear that it's her house and her decision on how things go. I've gotten good at keeping my mouth shut. It's just been hard going from being a family that really takes action when a problem arises or when things just need to be taken care of...to living under the roof of someone who likes to sit on decisions for months at a time.</div>
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So, I might have been a little excited to hear we would have the house to ourselves...I mean besides not having to worry about being heard during sexy time. It's nice to make meals without worrying if she's making dinner, made plans that somehow include us, or feeling a bit of judgement for ordering pizza two Friday's in a row. Washing clothes without feeling like I'm being timed. It's nice to watch a little tv in the living room without it being changed to something she wants to watch. It's just nice not to worry about what I'm doing that might be upsetting her. It's very freeing and I haven't been this level of happy in a while. I mean I am a happy person...but this is singing on the hilltops happy!</div>
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It's a nice to have a little extra freedom and happiness after all the sickness last week. I hope I don't sound too ungrateful! I really do appreciate being able to live here and save money for a house. I know that I will appreciate our house even more for it. I know we are giving up a bit of freedom now and a lot of space for a few years. The return will be our own home. It's well worth it...I just need to vent sometimes. </div>
Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13976822762604951093noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3102196658869838733.post-72012013856131690152016-02-22T23:21:00.001-08:002016-02-22T23:21:50.772-08:00Back to RealityToday was back to reality. Mario went back to work after a 5 week hiatus. This happens once a year, or so, between seasons of the television show he's working on. The writers need to get a jump on the next season before the animators start work on it. Usually he works through hiatus, either on extra stuff for the show or at another studio. This time the hiatus was fairly short and he really felt like he needed that vacation.<br />
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This was all perfect timing because we got our current foster placement, Joy, the week before hiatus started. So, I had the first week getting to know her myself, figuring out her schedule and feeding. Then Mario was off for the next month...and that was wonderful!<br />
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I love being able to tag team parenting. I loved being able to book all my shoots without having to think about lining up child care. It all works quite well between us. When I needed to get out and run around, he was with her or when he needed out, I was with her. He was able to spend time catching up with friends, working on personal art, and doing daddy duty. We were also able to really take her out to parks, the zoo and aquarium, and even have a nice family lunch or dinner. I think it was a great time for bonding with the little turd.<br />
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The countdown to his going back to work started 2 weeks ago...more for me than him probably. So, today while he was back at work...we were missing him. I didn't have any shoots or any pressing work, so that was nice. Man what a day though! Joy was having one of those bi-polar toddler days. Laughing one minute...crying the next. I was going between frustrated and laughing at how fast it all changed. It was all I could do really. She ate and slept well, ran around, played...but Monday was just too much for her.<br />
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I'm sure we both just missed having dad around. Luckily he worked it out that he can get home at a normal time. So we were able to cook dinner together and took turns hitting repeat on her favorite cd...anything to keep her on the happier side. By the time Aunt Angela came home, she was a pretty happy camper...of course it was then off to bed.<br />
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The one thing about Joy, and reason I've decided to call her Joy in my blog, is that even when she's in a crappy mood like today...she's still fun to be around. She wakes up happy and really is a Joy to be around! Tomorrow I hope we are on more of an even keel! The housekeeper/babysitter will be here cleaning. So during nap time, I'll run off to a shoot and hopefully be back before she's up. There really isn't anything better than seeing her little smiling happy face when she wakes up in the morning or from a nap. We really love this little girl!Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13976822762604951093noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3102196658869838733.post-72590619769394692192016-02-15T13:49:00.000-08:002016-02-15T13:49:36.198-08:00Things that are making my head explode todayI know these are small things, but over the last few weeks, they've been making me crazy.<br />
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1. Why all the Christmas stuff can't go in one place. 90% of it's in the garage. Then there are things in this closet, some things in a drawer, and two boxes of ornaments that are sitting in the middle of a bedroom. The organizer in me thinks this is ridiculous. What's the point? It was pointed out that I was raised to appreciate logic...this is not logical.<br />
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2. People who are passive aggressive. Come on people, talk to each other. You are all human beings, communicate! Drop the power trip you are getting from being passive aggressive...it's not communicating anything. There is far more power in just talking your issue out with someone. I know it can be scary to say what needs to be said and the other person might not like it, but it goes so much farther than these stupid mind games where people are supposed to know why you are acting mad but saying everything is ok. Here's the other part of communicating...listening to what the other person has to say. And I'm not talking about you just telling someone why they are wrong and a bad person...I'm saying work through problems together. Imagine what could be accomplished if we use communication!<br />
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3. This is a little business complaint...people who don't pay their bill. I have one client who has two invoices due since September. There have been lots of promises and it's in the mail...and I've seen nothing. And now communication has stopped. I've even sent messages saying that I don't want our professional relationship to end or be hurt, I just want the issue resolved(see communication!). However, I think I have to take this up the line. It's time to speak with someone higher up at the company. Unfortunately, if that doesn't work, I have to take it to small claims court. I feel like it's such a simple solution to pay the bill. Even if it was a money issue, I would take payments. Oh the excitement of owning your own business! After 10 years, I'm still learning!<br />
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4. People who don't understand how loud they are. One of the things taught to us by my father was to be aware of how loud we were walking. His apartment was on the second story. We were taught to be very aware of how loud it might be for her below us. This definitely came full circle when I lived on the bottom floor of a two story building. Now with a baby, I'm fully aware of how loud people are. On the one hand, I don't think a child should be raised in an absolutely quiet house. I think they need to learn to sleep with noise around. However, we have a light sleeper and a loud adult in the house. I know most of the time adult doesn't hear how loud she is. However, there are times when it's deliberate. I don't see any reason for someone to stand outside a napping baby's door and yell for Mario. Also, slamming the front door in irritation, knowing that the baby is sleeping, is really rude. Not to me, go ahead and slam the door. However, you are being rude to that baby you love. They are affected. This is where I use my communication as much as possible...who am I kidding, it's irritating as hell.<br />
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I know these are all things that are really a small part of the big picture. I know they will be gone soon enough and I will have forgotten about them...the Christmas stuff is already mostly forgotten. However, these are the things I feel like I'm complaining about most lately. Poor Mario and Colleen have heard enough about my trying to collect payment and how loud someone stomps down the hall. I also know that if I vent now, it keeps it from building up. Already better!Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13976822762604951093noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3102196658869838733.post-61585974944278408822016-02-02T23:12:00.000-08:002016-02-02T23:12:04.699-08:00Goals for the New Year?This year I'm concentrating on balancing my personal life and business life better. So, the idea would be to come up with goals or ways to make sure that balance happens. hah! I spent January ignoring the goal thing and just generally denying the fact that it's really a new year. Today I finally decided to stop trying so hard...in other words I decided to give up and just go with what I have.<br />
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1st goal -you already know, more writing on this blog! I'm already happy that this is happening. It's my mini therapy session. I like the documentation, working through a situation in my head and then getting it written down. Sometimes, the result is way different than what the original idea started as. It's an interesting process to me.<br />
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2nd goal- Read more. This is one of the things that has really taken a hit in my life. When business is crazy and life is busy, I seem to forget to read. However, this is the one thing that really lets me turn it all off for a bit and get lost. What could be better to help me balance life and turn off work after hours! Read some damn books woman! One of the things I made an effort to do when we moved, was bring in all my books from the garage. I purged the books I didn't want and kept the stuff that seemed interesting. Now they are in my room on a book shelf ready to grab and go.<br />
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3rd goal - No more phones at the dinner table. This is purely a rule for me. However, it's funny to see how people turn off their phone when they notice that you are sitting there staring at them while they browse facebook. The other trick is to keep talking until they can't concentrate on their phone. I figure, if we are going out to dinner, we should be talking and enjoying each other company. There are the odd times when this rule can be broken...when I have to look up a bit of information that has to do with the conversation or educational purposes. This really hasn't been as hard to keep up as I thought originally.<br />
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4th goal - and probably the more embarrassing goals I absolutely needed to set...no more phones in the bathroom! If I really need entertainment in the bathroom, I can read a damn book...then that helps cover goal #2!<br />
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These goals are aimed at making time to do things that I enjoy in life. This is also a way for me to get my life back from facebook. It's not enjoyable for me, yet it takes up so much of my spare time. I'm not sure when facebook became my go-to for when I'm bored...but it also became my go-to for when I'm not bored also. I feel like it became a habit to pick up my phone and look at what people are doing. I mean when I have to make a rule not to bring my phone into the bathroom with me...that means I'm spending too much time on facebook! This is precious time that could be spent playing with our little girl or reading a book to her.<br />
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I have to say, I don't feel like I'm making any big leaps or commitments here, but I'm pretty content with the little changes I'm making. I feel like I am trying to be more conscious of where my time is spent and investing my time in something that I consider to have more quality than political bullshit or drama. When I started writing this blog, I thought they might be half ass goals, but really they are all about enjoyment...what could be a better goals to meet!Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13976822762604951093noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3102196658869838733.post-38631071861409546502016-01-20T22:54:00.000-08:002016-01-20T22:54:00.355-08:00On FosteringI was talking to Mario the other night and mentioned that in May it will be two years from when we started this fostering adventure. However, we've technically only been parents for four of those months.<br />
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It's been totally different than what I thought it would be like. It took nearly a year to get our first placement. Between getting home studies, taking classes, preparations and our social worker going on emergency leave, we didn't get a placement until April. Almost a year after we started the process. We really thought we'd have had a placement much earlier. However, life reared it's head.<br />
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Our first placement was a toddler. He was our first big test. Going from no kids to a toddler was hard. However, he was smart beyond his years and because of that we had to keep an eye on him. That cute booger was into everything and loved being outdoors. He was with us until mid July.<br />
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He was our first good bye. I still miss him every day. I have a hard time looking through photos of him and not getting emotional. He was our first baby and taught us so much. More importantly, how to love unconditionally.<br />
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Then because of our move and trying to get my sister-in-law's home ready for inspection, it took until November to get us licensed again.<br />
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We got our second call for a newborn foster placement the week before Christmas. We were supposed to pick her up on Friday, but because of her situation, we didn't get to pick her up until Monday before Christmas. We visited her every day at the hospital. Got to know her and her schedule, fed her and cuddled her. When we did take her home, it was interesting because it was top secret. The hospital took the situation very seriously. They were very careful to make sure we never ran into the parents or the family. The nurses actually wheeled me out in a wheelchair, so I'd look like I was just a normal mother leaving with my baby.<br />
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That was a minute by minute situation. Things changed so quickly, even her social worker was baffled. We had her for two nights and then she was ordered to go with a family member. The judge thought she should be with family for Christmas. I totally agreed, but had to say good bye to our Christmas baby. We learned a lot in those few days with her. She was sweet and content. She never cried. I was also able to get over my small fear of newborns. I was having those same dreams pregnant moms have, where you dream you forget the baby somewhere or don't change them. Those dreams are the worst! However, this sweet girl got me over that!<br />
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A few weeks later and we are with our third placement. A 1 year old little girl. Tomorrow is court. So, hopefully tomorrow night, we'll find out how long we'll have this sweet girl with us. Depending on court, this is the only placement that looks semi long term and they have even mentioned adoption. I have to be realistic though and keep in mind that like all foster placements, things can change so fast. I have to expect the worst and hope for the best. Until then, we'll enjoy our time with her!<br />
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I think the one thing we've learned is to never assume you know how it will go. Every placement has been different. Well, different on the outside. On the inside, it's about loving these babies for as long as we have them. Foster care is an adventure and a complete mystery!Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13976822762604951093noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3102196658869838733.post-58155454019210510302016-01-12T23:19:00.000-08:002016-01-12T23:19:12.738-08:00Lets Talk MovingWe moved. We really didn't tell many people. It was one of those things that we have talked about and rejected for the last year and a half or so. Then all of a sudden...we changed our minds.<br />
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Some time after my mother in law passed away, Mario's sister discussed us moving in with her. She has a big house, that she was now living in alone. We pretty much passed on the idea pretty quick. We just didn't think it would be a good idea. Of course, once a month or so, one of us would bring it up, kick it around and the other would veto the idea immediately. She's a woman set in her ways. We are a married couple set in our ways. While Mario is very adaptable and mellow, we couldn't see how the two opinionated women could live happily and not butt heads. It just didn't seem worth the trouble and potential fallout.<br />
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However, if we moved in with her, we wouldn't have to pay rent. That was the huge draw for us. We want to buy a home so badly and the best way for us to save up a lot of money is to move in with Angela. Like I said, we really talked about it for a long time and couldn't see the situation working...and also couldn't see us passing up being able to save so much money.<br />
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Then we saw a change. Last April we got our first foster placement. Our little boy. We fell in love...and Angela also fell absolutely in love. It was such a big change that we saw in her. She was so happy to be around him. It was a side we really hadn't seen in a long time. After our foster son left foster care and went to live with a family member, the idea of us moving in with her was brought up again.<br />
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This time we took the idea a little more seriously. If our foster son came back into care, because of his age, the only way we could have him again was if we had a second bedroom. If we moved in with Angela, we would have access to two bedrooms in her home. One for us and one for our kid/s. This would mean that we could expand the age range that we foster and/or have a sibling set. It would also mean saving a huge amount of money and being able to pay down any bills.<br />
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So last September, we packed up our apartment, got rid of as much stuff as we could, organized a bit of Angela's home, and moved in. It was a lot of work. A lot of work. But we did it. It actually took us a lot longer to get set up and inspected for foster care again, but we are finally up and going again!<br />
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We have always lived pretty simple. Since Mario and I have lived together, we've always lived small. Now we live even smaller. Most of our belongings are in the garage. The rest is in our bedroom. Two desks for working, our big bed, our huge bookshelf with all of our books and tv on it...and our four animals! The kids room is just for them. Crib, bed, bookshelf, toys, etc. It's a very parred down life...but the benefits are big.<br />
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After four months there have only been a few hiccups. It helps that everyone works a lot. It's definitely hard being a person who loves to organize and keep clean, living with a person who loves their stuff around them. However, my eye is on the prize! We are able to foster, and have more area for the animals to run around...they love it here! And hopefully soon, we'll have our own house to with what we want!Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13976822762604951093noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3102196658869838733.post-33600437305573599052016-01-11T23:49:00.002-08:002016-01-11T23:49:21.653-08:00Getting a hold of 2016!You know how I get every January...new year, new clean slate! It feels a little different this year though.<br />
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Mostly because all our goals and plans have been laid out and thought over for the past 2 years or more. Mario and I are always keeping tabs on our goals. It's really same 'ole, same 'ole around here. Save up for house, pay off bills, become parents, work, work, work, build business, work on art. Not that all of it doesn't make me excited. I just feel like my plans to reach those goals are the same as they have been. That's fine though. I'm happy with it. I'm happy to see out those long term goals!<br />
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I think what I've decided to do instead, is work on balancing my life around those goals we've set. In the last year, my business has grown and become a more stable income. We've become foster parents and are on our third placement. We have moved in with Mario's sister to save a ton of money. Mario is on his 6th season of Bob's Burgers and has been working on some really cool art for himself. All of which deserve blog posts!<br />
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Those blogs will definitely be coming! Because one of the things I think I miss most is writing! I miss coming here to tell you what is happening. I miss being able to laugh about something or tell you something stupid that happened or just talk out an issue I'm having. I've seen so many blogs burn out, I think I want to light that spark again!<br />
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Goal #1 to balancing business and pleasure...more writing! I can't say how often I'll meet you here, but I'll definitely try!<br />
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Next up, I think is telling you about moving in with Mario's sister. See you here soon! xoxo!Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13976822762604951093noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3102196658869838733.post-38323515800372789432015-07-08T01:02:00.000-07:002015-07-08T01:02:12.692-07:00Thoughts on Fostering<div>
3 months ago we welcomed the coolest kid into our house. We could never imagine how much our lives would change. It flipped us around, changed our world, showed us patience, craziness, and lots of love...and it's our new normal. </div>
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Now in a week and a half, we will be saying goodbye to our cool kid. I'm not sure how I feel yet.</div>
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When I first got the call, it was for a 1 year old that needed to be fostered for 2-3 weeks. I thought this would be the perfect "starter" foster case. It would be a good, fun age to start with and short enough to get our feet wet. This would give us a taste of what we were in for. Naive, right?!</div>
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What we got was a 18 month old for 3 months. Going from zero children to a toddler was insane! The anxiety that we felt that first week was out of control. Where do you start? There was no easing from sleepless nights with an newborn to infant then to toddler. It was abrupt. All of a sudden, there was this adorable stranger in our house who loved to scream, tantrum, eat and poop. </div>
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In one week, we learned what could be climbed on, pulled off, jumped on, ripped up, carried around and chewed on. I also learned that there is nothing better than rocking a baby to sleep. I love to hear that little voice call me "mama" and Mario "daddy". I love the giggles and to see that brain working things out. The kid is smart! I found out that I could fall in completely in love in a few days...all while knowing that he'd be leaving in a week or two.</div>
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In one month, we figured out that dcfs is on a different schedule. 2-3 weeks means something different to them...we were ok with that. We figured out how we were going to deal with tantrums, hitting, child care, running a business with a toddler around and adjusting marriage to fit a new being in. We saw daily changes to his behaviors. We became the people that he comes to for love, security, and silliness. We know craisins are the key to a quiet child. I love craisins...I also love nap time! We also found out that you don't sleep train a toddler...they sleep train you. </div>
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In two months, we became more comfortable with parenting. We felt more comfortable taking him out to restaurants and shopping. It was around this time that we really saw how much our decision to foster affected our family and friends. They were all in love also. It was around this time that we really started hoping that the plan that was set in place for him, would fall through and he could stay with us. However, we found out he'd be leaving us for sure. An order to move him has been made. This guy who turned our life around would be leaving as planned. I had allowed myself to hope that he'd stay. </div>
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At the three month mark, parenting has become comfortable. But, I see the end date coming up quick. I don't think about how I'll feel, it doesn't matter how I feel. I worry about him. He'll be moving in with family. Family he should be with. But I still worry about this one last move. In 18 months, he's been moved around a number of times. </div>
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When the doorbell rings or there is a knock at the door, he screams and runs to me for security. It took a while for me to figure out why he was freaking out...until one day he screamed "they get me!" My heart sank. He is at an age where he remembered being removed from his last home. He knows what it means to hear a knock at the door and to be removed from a home and family he has gotten to know and even love. So many times there has been a knock at the door and I have said "It's ok, baby. You're safe. No one is going to get you." Now I know, there is a knocking coming when I can't say "It's ok. No one is coming to get you. " </div>
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I'm terrified for him. I cry because I won't be able to explain why we won't be there any more. I cry because I know it's not just him and us that will hurt...our family and friends will hurt also when he's gone. I've already told his social worker that we want him back if it doesn't work out with his family. I don't want it not to work out for him. I don't want him moved one more time...but I'm selfish enough to hope he comes back to us. </div>
Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13976822762604951093noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3102196658869838733.post-76216396694582503172015-01-26T13:39:00.001-08:002015-01-26T13:39:17.026-08:00WaitingWe are official! Mario and I were fully licensed and ready for a placement on January 1st. Expect a call any minute!<br />
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We are still waiting for that call. I'm trying to be very patient. I know that when it's right, we will get the call. It's hard though. A lot of change is just a phone call away. Such a simple thing will change how we live. I feel like it's harder waiting for a phone call, than it was taking all the classes and making the preparations. At least we were keeping busy. Now it's just waiting and there's not much we can do about it.<br />
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Every day since January 1st, I wake up and think maybe today will be the day we get a call. It's really making me crazy. Partially because our social worker and everything I've read has said that we should have gotten a call right away. That first week. Weekends are even harder, because I know we probably won't get a call on that day.<br />
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So, I do what I do best...try to organize everything! My office area is looking good. I've attacked my camera gear. I have my sites on the kitchen for the second time in two months. The garage was attacked yesterday. Closets have been organized but have a few things to finish it up. I'm sure I can find more if I really try!<br />
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Until that special call comes in, I'll be patient and really try not to call our social worker every day...I will try very hard.<br />
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<br />Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13976822762604951093noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3102196658869838733.post-50150625019928502342014-09-25T16:34:00.002-07:002014-09-25T16:34:53.303-07:00GoalsWhile we are very very patiently waiting for a call from the state for our home inspection, I'm trying to get the house and our life organized and then more organized. I really want to get things finished now, so that when we get a foster placement, we can spend all our time on that and not fiddly stuff.<br />
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This means I have one of those lists that I make each week and just keep adding to it.<br />
-Put up the hanging pendant reading lights up in the bedroom (we've had these for almost a year, because I couldn't decide if the shades were too small. Turns out they look great.)<br />
-Organize the linen closet again. Strike that, organizing all the closets again.<br />
-Rearranging the kitchen to include kiddy stuffs. How is it that we have so much random crap in the kitchen that we never use! Also, our tupperware is like a living thing, some multiplies while others disappear.<br />
-Making a better work station for me. I have no storage. So the person that thrives on organization, really has very little.<br />
-Adding baby furniture in means rearranging and trying to find better solutions to our floorplan.<br />
-getting the garden ready for fall planting. I didn't plant beets last year and seriously regret it!<br />
-Since the cat broke their cat tree, we are trying to see if we can expand their world and maybe make put shelves on the wall for them like a catwalk.<br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-6Acmx2CIyV8/VCSSOL6bKHI/AAAAAAAAB1o/tAoTKdpKGGQ/s1600/9bbd30a70bd00ba73feba3926a0194bd.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-6Acmx2CIyV8/VCSSOL6bKHI/AAAAAAAAB1o/tAoTKdpKGGQ/s1600/9bbd30a70bd00ba73feba3926a0194bd.jpg" height="640" width="208" /></a></div>
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Maybe not this complex and bright...but we might as well use wall space instead of the ugly behemoth we have that takes up so much floor space. The only problem is the weight of our cats. We searched Ikea for shelves that can hold our plus size girls. Believe it or not they do exist.</div>
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Beside organizing the house, I've been trying to get my life in a good spot. Not like I have all that much control over my life, but there are definitely things I can work on. My business, my head, planning goals, debts, lots of marketing, taking care of as many details of life and getting them all mostly figured out. One of the things we have definitely been working on for a while is debt and planning towards a house. That's straight forward. I've been streamlining my business since I started, because every year is different. However, if I can get it as much in line as possible now, I feel better.</div>
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One of the things I've really needed to work on in my life is friends. It's one of the things I talked about in our foster care interview with our social worker. We need to make sure we have people we can really count on when life gets tough. I don't feel like I have anyone close by that I feel that way about. I have friends that I'm close with and I have friends that I<i> was</i> very close with, however, I don't have any best friends. I've been missing that. The one person who I would consider my best friend is over in Arkansas. I miss her a lot and really miss that time we spent together! I need someone closer!</div>
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So, that's been something I've been focusing on again. I've kept in contact with some women from our foster care PS-Mapp class. I'm happy I hunted them down, because it's good to see where we all are in the process and I feel like I'll need that connection in a friend. So, I do hope to really keep in contact and get to know some of them better. </div>
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I have also recently found a groupon Meetup.com. It's a group of ladies in Burbank who plan out little events locally. I am so excited! I already went to a strange movie with two other ladies last night and already made a connection with one of the women who wants to learn more about photography. </div>
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It's really making my heart happy to meet new people. I only see a limited number of people working for myself, so it's good to supplement that with good friends. Just getting to know more people is making me happy and also helping me pass the time waiting for our foster care license!</div>
<br />Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13976822762604951093noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3102196658869838733.post-86372275397611445162014-06-09T23:00:00.000-07:002014-06-09T23:00:03.407-07:00I finally did it!Ok, I only ordered new business cards...but really I have been putting it off for a year now. To be fair I did order some last year around this time...but I totally spelled "architectural" incorrectly. Who the hell is going to hire someone to photograph their architectural work if they can't even spell it!<br />
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Because of that embarrassing typo, I kept putting off ordering new cards. Partially deciding that the money would be better spent somewhere else. Probably punishing myself a bit also. I have this beautiful website and my old ugly business cards that don't match...at least they are spelled correctly though.<br />
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However, even those old cards have an issue. First of all I hired someone to design a new logo...I never liked it and then I never said what type of photography I work in. Might not seem like a big deal to most people. However, when you say photographer, people assume I photograph people or weddings. When you work in a niche area like real estate and architecture, you need to point that out. One day someone will randomly pick up my business card and think, "Architectural Photographer! This is exactly the type of photographer I have been looking for!"<br />
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I'm also excited because my cards will have different photos on the back. I have been pulling my favorite photos for a while now. Trying to decide which to use. Which will represent my work best. Then I had Mario come through and help choose the best. I don't want to use a photo that I love, but really doesn't look great on the card. I get attached to some photos and need to learn to let them go. So Mario came through and we got rid of half the photos that I wanted to use. I have to admit it was hard to do. He just zipped through and told me which to delete. I tried not defend a few and then realized he was totally right. Then I got rid of about five more while I was designing the card. I'm happy with my selection and will be excited to see how they turn out!<br />
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The second thing I finally got around to doing was printing up a bunch of photos. We have a decent hallway and I've been wanting to put a bunch of family photos up. Ikea sells of frame-less glass frames...if that makes sense. It's basically a piece of glass with brackets. I like the look of them. Of course when I went to ikea to buy some, they had stopped selling them. However, I knew someone who did have a bunch of different sizes and were just storing them. My mother. I begged her for a bunch and she mailed them to me before Christmas! How ungrateful that she send me these frames and I didn't get my act together and print photos for them. So, last night, I decided I was going to order these damn photos! I think I printed 20-25 prints from my favorite printer. They should be here tomorrow...I can't wait to see them! I want them up on the wall for when my mom and sister come down next weekend. I think it will be fun to see and also she won't give me shit if they are up and not in a box still!<br />
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I think the motivation is really about getting these things finished that I have been wanting to get done now while we have the time and money. We figure once kids come into the picture, we won't have the time or cash to do it. Why we sit on these ideas for so long, I don't know.Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13976822762604951093noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3102196658869838733.post-10865783866378249932014-06-03T01:21:00.001-07:002014-06-03T01:25:02.176-07:00I'm not normally one of those "Oh, god! It's Monday!" type of people...But it sure felt like it today. Really it started with a dipshit move by me. Monday is street cleaning on our side of the street. I have to move my car by noon or I get another ticket. Yes another. I have a reminder set on my phone. The alarm went off and I screwed around until I had two minutes to move my car. That's when I started running around, putting on clothes, grabbing my purse, running over to grab my keys...and noticed one of our adorable weaselly dogs pooped by the front door. Of course.<br />
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I paused at the door knowing it was now one minute until noon and that parking ticket dude sits out front waiting for it to strike noon. I'm not kidding. I started to throw my stuff down and run down the hall for toilet paper to clean up the crap. Then I thought, no, I'm only going out to move the car to the other side of the street...I'll be right back.<br />
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I grabbed my purse, grabbed the keys off of the table and yelled to the dogs, "This doesn't mean shitting by the front door is acceptable!" I shut the door, turned around to make sure the door was locked and then looked at the keys in my hands...car keys...laundry room key...where the hell were my house keys!? They are usually kept on the same pull-apart key chain.<br />
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However, last night, mario let me out in front of the house, while he found parking...I had too many iced teas at dinner and it had hit emergency status. So, I had grabbed the house key off the keychain...but where the hell did I put it after running inside like a crazy person!? I checked my purse. A second car key. No house key...and it turns out, no phone either. Great. That's when I noticed the parking ticket dude cruising down the street. I took off around the corner and hopped in my car as quickly as I could.<br />
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My car was now safe from a ticket, but now I had to get a house key. I had two options. Drive over to my friends house and see if she's home. She has a spare key to our place and maybe she'll want to get lunch. Or I can drive to Mario's work and get the key. So, I drove over to Rene's house. She wasn't home. No problem, she's probably at the library and the library is on the way to mario's work...perfect.<br />
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This is where I should tell you that I was avoiding going to Mario's work. When I ran out of the house, I had only planned on moving the car. I hadn't showered yet. So, I threw on some less than great clothing choices. Normally, when I show up at Mario's work, I want to look pretty good...not have my hair sticking up all over. I'd rather look like a trophy wife than the crazy looking troll. So, as I rolled past the library and saw Rene's car wasn't there either, I threw some lipgloss on that shit and hoped everyone at Mario's work was at lunch.<br />
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They weren't all at lunch. However, they are a room full of artists, I forgot they like the lights off. They work by the light of the computers! Thank the lord! So, I just strolled back to Mario's desk and shocked him by appearing out of the dark. Of course, he laughed at me when I told him that I locked myself out of the house...but offered to take me to lunch.<br />
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We had a nice lunch date and I dropped him back off at work. He gave me his copy of the house key and I headed back to face that poop by the door. However, mid way home, I decided to take the car through a drive thru car wash. I mean, I'm already out right?<br />
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Adjusting my route home, I pulled up at the car wash and there were three cars ahead of me. The first car was pulling out of the wash. The second car is punching in the code to redeem his wash and starting to head in. The third car pulls up to the kiosk and waits like he's supposed to. I pull up behind him and wait, thinking it would be really nice to have my phone to check emails or words with friends. That's when I notice the guy in front of me reach out to the kiosk to punch in his code...before the other guy is hardly even started. This is a big no no! The signs say wait to punch in your code until the other car is exiting. The kiosk even says this before you punch in the code. Remember my car wash problem of 2009? ONLY PUNCH THE CODE IN WHEN THE OTHER CAR IS LEAVING! I yell "NOOOOO!!!" Of course my window is up and he doesn't hear shit.<br />
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The carwash stops half way through the wash cycle and car number 2 is now confused, pissed, and his car is covered in soap. Car number three is oblivious that he has even caused this problem and is yelling at car number two to leave the car wash. I sat there watching, trying to decide if a car wash is necessary at this point. I start to back up and realize how narrow and curvy the entrance is. I tried for a bit to back out and realized it was hopeless. They designed this car wash to trap you in. So, I waited. Car number two sat there for a while...probably calling the attendant. Then he started to pull out and car three started pulling in thinking he was going to wash his car. Car number two tried to stay for the wash...and I was trapped. All because I locked myself out of the house.<br />
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This went on for a while, but they finally figured their shit out. They both ended up having to drive around and get back in line. The attendant reset the machine and I was able to wash my car...good thing, because it looked like a pterodactyl had shit on my car. I got home to clean up the poop by the front door. Then, as I walked to the back door to let the dogs out, I realized the back door had been unlocked the whole time.Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13976822762604951093noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3102196658869838733.post-61082315133769020282014-05-30T22:33:00.002-07:002014-05-30T22:33:32.577-07:00Cat toys and ThongsMaria, our house cleaner came by on Tuesday to clean our hovel. We are always excited for her to come over. She always comes in and plays with the dogs a bit. They think she only comes over to visit them. The cats all come out and say hi. She greets them and chats with me a bit while preparing herself to attack our mess. I'm just plain excited to have someone else clean up after me!<div>
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This week was no different. The dogs and I were excited to see her walk in the door. The cats were indifferent but still came out to greet her. We chatted about life as usual, while I worked on a shoot from the previous day. As I glanced up, I saw her grab a toy off the ground and start shaking it in front of Penny. Penny obliged her by batting at it a bit. She's been trying to win Penny over for a while.</div>
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I stopped working and glanced up to talk to her a bit more, when I looked at the toy. It looked like a mini octopus. I couldn't place it as any of the toys that we had. Then the cat caught one of the "tentacles" and I realized what it was. </div>
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Me "Maria! Those are underwear!"</div>
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Maria "Ooh la la...why are there underwear in the living room?"</div>
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Me laughing "No, those are my sister's underwear...she stayed here for the weekend and she must have left them. Oh god I'm sorry!"</div>
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Maria "Oh well, I put them in the laundry."</div>
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Me "Nah, I'll just put them in an envelope and mail them right back to her!"</div>
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She was totally unfazed that she was using my sister's thong to play with the cat. She just walked back and put it in the laundry. Of course I thought this was too funny and sent off a text to my sister...</div>
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Me "Maria just found a pair of your underwear and thought it was a cat toy...so she was swinging them around for Penny to attack. We were cracking up when I told her what she had."</div>
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Lindsay "Now that's embarrassing. I'm so glad I wasn't there!"</div>
Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13976822762604951093noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3102196658869838733.post-47853916434565066712014-05-29T23:25:00.001-07:002014-05-29T23:26:42.421-07:00Excited...and terrified...and excitedThere have been a lot of ups and downs in our life lately, however, Mario and I are so excited to be starting on the next chapter in life. Kids and/or babies! With our inability to get pregnant, Mario and I have been talking about adoption for a while now. We are finally starting that journey! Fertility treatment and private adoption are off the table just based on cost alone. I mean, we don't need to go into debt just trying to have kids, when kids are expensive enough on their own. So, we are adopting through Los Angeles County.<br />
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I have spent the last year or so looking through websites, forums, looking at children up for adoption and just trying to educate us in general. A few months ago, we decided it's the time to get started. We have our finances under control and are saving up for a house. Mario is doing well with work and my business is better than it's ever been...and we are just plain ready to be parents! We have tried for so long to get pregnant and with my 38th birthday coming up, we decided there's just no more waiting. So, we called up for our foster/adoption orientation. It was a long wait for the appointment! I think we had to wait a month and a half...it felt like forever!</div>
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Last week we finally attended our foster/adoption orientation class. I was nervous and so excited! The class was great. There were a lot of wonderful people with big hearts. We left ready to get this show on the road and we even got certificates. Of course I took a photo and sent it out to friends and family. </div>
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Of course, after our orientation, we were very excited to get started on our classes. So, today we were fingerprinted. Lindsay told me my days of crime are over...ha. Next week we start our classes. We kind of lucked out with that. There are only so many classes from now until July and only so many people allowed in any class. So, after our live scan today, I came right home to sign us up for classes. All of the classes were full...except for the spanish only class and fostering only class. Well, being the determined lady that I am, I called and emailed determined to get into one of those classes! The guy called me back and said I should buy a lottery ticket, because someone just dropped out of the class I really wanted into. Woo hoo! </div>
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So for the next month and a half, Mario and I will be attending foster parenting classes. There are 30 hours of classes for the next 6 weeks. It really doesn't seem like very much instruction to prepare us to open our home to children, but we are eager and excited to get going and see where this new adventure will take us!</div>
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I'm sure it will be the hardest thing we've ever done, but we have lots of love to give!</div>
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Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13976822762604951093noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3102196658869838733.post-43789065294580435002014-04-24T22:00:00.000-07:002014-04-24T22:00:03.730-07:00We is Organized!I shopped...and I scrutinized...and I bought what I hope will be the answer to all my camping organizational needs. I actually did pretty good. I bought three smaller bins and one drawer set...and some how it was a perfect fit!<br />
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and exchanged them for these...</div>
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Square footage wise, it's not much of a difference. However, they are far more organized. The big drawer bin is all kitchen, washing, and fire needs. Almost two of the big bins fit into the drawers. Hopefully there will be no more digging around the bins looking for the little stuff that fell to the bottom. There are two small drawers, perfect for all the small stuff that we need fairly often.</div>
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One of the bins to the left of the drawers is lantern, headlamps, flashlights, and fuel. The second bin to the left is basically the set-up bin, tarps and stuff for setting up tents. The two bins on the top are optional really. One has hats and games and the other has a random inflatable mattress in it that we just bring as a back up. I like this setup because any of the drawers or the smaller bins are a great size to wash dishes in. </div>
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In organizing this all, I got rid of a few things. However, I really hope to keep an eye on things this weekend that we really don't use. I'd like to start keeping things more minimal or at least more realistic. I'm pretty excited though, I think the drawers will keep a lot of stuff off the tables and out of site.</div>
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Now I just have to prepare for the weather change that I just saw in the forecast. I knew it would be 50-60s in the day and 30s at night. However, when I checked the weather today, I saw that there might be snow showers on Saturday. This makes me happy that Mario and I are going up on Friday to set up. Mario has been in snow but has never seen snow falling. So, as long as I pack warm enough clothes and blankets, we are more than ok with the snow! </div>
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Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13976822762604951093noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3102196658869838733.post-42360606856113371582014-04-23T15:23:00.001-07:002014-04-23T15:23:07.294-07:00Camping Season is upon us!I'm so excited to be camping this weekend up in Big Bear! It will be cold at night, beautiful during the day. We are camping right along the lake, so we are thinking about doing some fishing also! A good group of friends. Laying in my hammock reading. Eating some damn good food. Friday can't come soon enough people!<br />
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There is one thing that eludes me though. That one thing that I just haven't gotten a hold of in the last 10 years of camping. Organization. You know I love organization. Love it! So, every time we go camping, I think I will get it figured out so-help-me-god! Every year, I get so frustrated with the amount of crap all over the table and hunting through bins to find one thing. And every year I am determined to finally figure out the perfect system to house all our camping shit.<br />
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When I was young, my parents seemed to have it down. There were like 5 cardboard boxes that were packed into our tent trailer along with clothes, chairs, food, dogs and we were set. It seemed simple. Maybe they didn't bring the amount of shit we do.<br />
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Actually I'm sure I need to par down. I already know I'll go through and take some things out that just aren't working. Kitchen organization is the worst. I've never gotten that down. There are pans and utensils borrowed from the home kitchen. Big things, small things. I just have a big plastic bin that everything gets thrown into and becomes the biggest most disorganized mess to deal with while camping. Ok I just spent an hour on pinterest looking up ideas.This year, I'm going to try to employ some tricks. A hanging shoe organizer to store kitchen and cooking supplies. They won't be sitting all over the table...less mess.<br />
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<span style="text-align: start;">Instead of big bins, I think I'm going to look into plastic drawers and smaller more focused bins. Keep things separated and easier to get to. Worth a try. If not, I'll organize other shit with it! Wish me luck! </span></div>
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I'll post photos when we get back. Also, have I told you before that the minute that I make plans for myself, my clients call for a bunch of shoots. It's very hard to say no to them, but sometimes I've got to do things for me too! Still there is a little guilt, they are the reason I get to take vacations. Off to home depot and kmart in the name of organization!</div>
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PS. Upon looking at other people's master camping lists, I was shocked by the amount of extension cords and crock pots on the lists. I know we do not suffer while camping, but holy hell that's a bit over the top! </div>
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<br />Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13976822762604951093noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3102196658869838733.post-4820126243033390112014-04-22T23:36:00.001-07:002014-04-22T23:36:24.570-07:00The Trouble with LipstickI don't have the best luck with lipstick. I've never been great at being able to choose a color or formula that works with me. Especially if I'm just seeing a tube and not able to see the color on my skin. Maybe I have an odd color skin or maybe I'm just picky. I'm not sure, but I have quite a collection of unwearable lip products.<br />
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The only real great product I've gotten was a lip gloss that my sister-in-law gave me for Christmas one year. I love the color. I loved the formula. It's on the more expensive side. However, I'll happily pay that price for something I know I'll love wearing.<br />
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I don't love paying anything for shit I don't love. Boy do I have a knack for buying shit that I don't love. I've tried 15 hour lip stain that only lasted an hour. I've tried lipstick that's too drying on my poor chapstick addicted lips. I've tried colors that look great in the tube but looked absolutely horrible on me. I've tried lip glosses that made my lips sting. I've had lipstick that wears off my lip quickly and leaves me with only a line around the edge of my lips...cause that's cute. Just last week I decided to try a 24 hour liquid lipstick. It looked like a good color and hey, if it lasts a few hours...win.<br />
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Honestly I was curious how long it would last. I got to the car and opened up the tube. Looked good. Smelled good. Applied. Eh on the color. If it will last through a photo shoot, however, I could live with the color. I started driving home and I noticed a spot on my lips that felt sticky. By the time I got home, my lips were sticking together. Not good. I get it. If you want that shit to stay on for 24 hours, it's gotta stick to you. Well it was really sticking. I finally got to the point where I had to put lip gloss over the top. I needed that barrier so my lips wouldn't stick together. It worked. It was definitely more comfortable. Unfortunately, usually once you put something over the top of it, it won't last as long. Well, it actually lasted a decent amount of time. I ate, drank and applied more chapstick over the top. I think it actually lasted a few hours. I haven't tried it again since because honestly it wasn't that comfortable. It was such an odd feel, that it's all I could think about. I want to put something on and not think about it. I will give it a second chance...I'm just not sure when.<br />
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So, yesterday, since I wasn't completely happy with that buy and I was still jonesing for a new great lip color, I bought this.<br />
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I thought the color looked pretty. I thought it looked like a spring color. I feel like it would be like my lip color but better. I also thought it might be either sheer or just a nice formula because it's called butter lipstick. So, as soon as I got to my car and applied it. It felt very nice. It felt like lip balm. Then I looked in the mirror. No way. That shit is light pink! Almost white! This is me feeling very disappointed again..but with almost white lips! I swear I keep looking at that tube and wondering where it went wrong.</div>
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I have to admit, it's not looking quite as light in the photo as it is in real life. It almost looks ok. Don't trust the photo though. I wouldn't go outside in this color.<br />
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Mario actually came home tonight, looked at the tube and said "oh that's a nice color!" I told him to wait and I'd show him. I only got it on my bottom lip before he started laughing. I need to start shopping where there are samples...only that just seems not so cleanly. I'm just going to buy my same lip gloss that I love.Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13976822762604951093noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3102196658869838733.post-29424851611606611632014-04-19T22:29:00.001-07:002014-04-19T22:29:26.055-07:00Blogging ADD1. Can we talk about how old I'm getting. No not me, my body. I'm still immature and a potty mouth. I went to a shoot today and came home with a stiff knee. I didn't do anything I don't do at most shoots. It was actually a fairly easy shoot. However, after the shoot, walking to my car, I could feel it stiffening. Nice. It's also popping a bit. It's just rebelling. 38 is closing in and my body is proving to me that I'm old and out of shape. Luckily I've been starting to work out a bit...which now that I think about it might be the reason my knee is out of whack. Oh well...it must be done.<br />
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2. I would love to know who added to Million Dollar Listing New York to be recorded on our DVR. Totally not Mario's kind of show, so he wouldn't have it record. I'm really not into seeing that kind of vanity and ego. I would never want to photograph for people like that. (This is where Mario would pipe up and point out that I do watch the Kardashians...and they are vain and egotistical) I'm sure most of the ego is for the show, but I'm still not into it. In the mean time it keeps recording. It's not on the roster anywhere, it just shows up. Maybe with my business being more successful this year, I'm supposed to watch and get some business ideas?<br />
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3.I was a little bored this evening...so I decided to weed the backyard. I'm not sure why this was my choice to fill the time...maybe it was my maturity showing up again. However, I've been working on my website and marketing like crazy this week, so I've been sitting in front of the computer non stop. I'm a bit tired of it really. So weeding it was. I also want to get some last minute veggies planted. Even with the stiff knee, I was out there and actually got the bulk of the weeds out. I made pretty good time, but I'm gonna be sore tomorrow. I'm ok with that. However, what I don't love it what ever attacked me. I'm not sure if it was a weed or a mean spider but I have some very itchy welts on my side and my foot. Since I don't like spiders at all, I'm going to pretend that some weed that I'm allergic to got up under my shirt and scratched me. Whatever it was, it itches like a bitch! It just goes to show you that it's just not worth doing the weeding! Ok the backyard looks great.<br />
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4. My sister informed me a few days ago that she thinks she saw one of my photos in OK magazine. Interesting. I did photograph one of the houses that is used on the tv show, Modern Family, a few months back. The house is used for the exteriors of Claire and Phil's house and the owner decided to sell it. Lindsay said it was a story about that. It's funny how much attention the little house got. My photos were on a video by the Wall Street Journal, The Examiner, The Hollywood Reporter, Daily, a bunch of other websites, and I actually got a call from The Insider to have my photos on their show. I thought that was cool, but alas, I couldn't have my photos on there. I think there was a conflict with the tv stations. Would have been cool to see my photos on the tv.<br />
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5. A few weeks ago, I set up the appointment for our orientation for foster and adoption through LA. We are sooooo excited to get this going! Mario thought we should celebrate, but I had to remind him that it's only the orientation. Lets celebrate when we finish our classes and get a kid in our house! I can't wait to see how this all turns out!Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13976822762604951093noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3102196658869838733.post-24911256419835012712014-04-10T01:07:00.001-07:002014-04-10T01:07:20.144-07:00First World ProblemsToday, I drove 3 hours to just north of Santa Barbara to take 'before' photos of an apartment building for some of my clients. Three hours there, half hour for photos, and three hours back. It wasn't a hard day by any means but it was a lot of driving. At least I got to drive down the beach through Santa Barbara. I broke it up a little bit by stopping by the outlet stores on the way back to look for some sensible shoes. Yes, I've hit the age where sensible shoes are necessary.<br />
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After trying on countless shoes, I found nothing I liked. So, I was a little bummed. Mama needs some good shoes. Then I got home too late to get any reasonable parking. Add the 6 hours of driving to countless trips around the neighborhood looking for parking and not finding any shoes...and it's enough to break a girl!<br />
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Parking is always a problem around here. The later you get here, the worse it is. Mario is constantly parking a few blocks away. This is great for exercise, but after working a full day, it sucks. Tonight I drove around the neighborhood three times. Fourth time around, I spotted a prime spot right across the street from our apartment. I shot across the street, pulled into the drive and am backing into the spot...when some jackass pulls in the spot and blocks me! I was sitting there in shock.<br />
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I'm still in reverse backing up and he shimmy's in, gets out and mimes "sorry, no more space for you". Total jerk. I gave him a nice hand gesture and looped around the block for a fifth time. Parked my car. Ran inside our apartment and proceeded to write this guy a note.<br />
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I told him "way to be a gentleman and steal my spot! I think we all know how awful the parking is and your move was complete crap. Get some manners because, you sir, are a jerk!" I kept it mostly nice because I didn't want this guy trashing my car. Then I put the note on his windshield and Mario and I went out to dinner.<br />
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The little date did make me feel better. We had a nice time, good food, and then came home...to my same note left on our doorstep. What does this mean! There was no response on it. He just gave it back. Is this a "I know where you live" or "I choose to ignore you"? The least he could have done was say sorry or at the very least tell me to piss off...but no, the shithead just returned my note. My head exploded.Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13976822762604951093noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3102196658869838733.post-51542247487333824972014-02-24T15:38:00.000-08:002014-02-24T15:38:45.374-08:00SuckersIt happened again...another foster pet came into our house and she isn't leaving. I blame Mario. Despite the fact that I did talk Mario into this, the minute he met her, he was in love.<br />
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A few weeks back <a href="http://preciouspaws.org/" target="_blank">Precious Paws</a>, the rescue group that we have gotten all our pets through, posted that one of their rescuers was leaving state and needed to place this puppy. I had shown the photo of her to Mario a few times and could tell he wasn't even really taking me serious. We discussed it a few times, but we really didn't want to disrupt the house. Tula and the cats are happy. I'd hate for the house to get to chaotic or us to have fighting animals on our hands.<br />
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We decided to just sit on the idea for a bit, but I had this little guilt inside. Georgyne from <a href="https://www.facebook.com/PreciousPaws?fref=ts" target="_blank">Precious Paws</a> must have sensed that guilt, because in came her email asking us to foster her. She offered us a foster to adopt situation. That would allow us to try the situation out and make sure everyone was happy. That really solved the problem of what we would do if it was a bad situation.<br />
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The next day Georgyne showed up with this tiny, skin and bones puppy with huge ears! The little girl was 8 months old and only 4 lbs 8 oz. She was seriously underweight. Her spine and hip bones were showing. I was actually pretty pissed that she was so malnutritioned considering she had been at someone's house for the last month.<br />
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<i>How can you resist that look</i>!</div>
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<span style="text-align: start;">However, I knew that Mario would see her underweight as a challenge. He loves fattening up our animals. Tula was tiny when we got her also, and now she's gained the pound or two she needed and has nice skin and coat. I need to get a scale, but we can tell Belle has already put on weight. You can't see her hip bones or spine any more. She still needs a bit more weight, but I think she'll put that on in the next few months as she matures a bit. Her coat is already softer and shinier and she has so much more energy.</span></div>
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<i>She's still a puppy and needs her naps</i></div>
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The best thing to come from this is how happy Belle and Tula are together. I really had no idea how lonely Tula was until this little pup came into our home. I've just never seen Tula so happy. They play and wrestle together, nap together, run around, and eat together. Even if Mario and I decided we really didn't want to keep her, we couldn't get rid of her, Tula would be devastated. However, there was never a chance we wouldn't keep her, Mario's pretty smitten also.</div>
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The other thing we've noticed about Belle is that's she's a bit of a clepto. She collects all the cat and dog toys in the house and puts them in her bed. As you can see in the video below, she dared to take Penny's favorite toy. The next thing I caught her stealing was just a bit more embarrassing. </div>
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I swear those are not enormous underwear...she is just the tiniest dog you've ever seen! We now have a house full of tiny dogs and enormous cats. I'm not sure how this happened. We now have four animals from Precious Paws. Apparently we have no will power when it comes to saying no to fosters. So, about a week after we got Belle, I sent Georgyne a text telling her "Thankfully you don't adopt out children, knowing our will power, we'd have 10 kids by now!" She laughed. That's when it occurred to me that might be the reason Mario is a bit skeptical about fostering children. He's knows I can't say no...and he obviously can't either!Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13976822762604951093noreply@blogger.com0