I recently found out that you aren't supposed to flush cat litter down the toilet. Maybe you already knew this...I did not. Most boxes say flush-able after all. I was a little bummed. It's so easy to throw that shit right down the crapper and move on. One easy step! I even almost pretended that I didn't hear this new information, but the nice girl at the pet store mentioned the poor sea otters. Damn cute sea otters. Lucky for them, the guilt overrode the lazy part of me and now I put the unmentionables in little bags and deposit them in our trash, instead of flushing it.
This has been in practice for at least a few months. Mario does his part and empties the litter box before he leaves in the morning. I'm usually stuck with the rest of the day. So, as I was running around trying to clean up a bit yesterday, I got a little side tracked and put the little bag on the entertainment unit next to the mail.
It was completely forgotten until later that evening when Mario came home. I was just headed down the hall, when he started to talk to me. I turned around and started answering his question, but couldn't concentrate...because I was watching Mario play with this little white bag on the entertainment unit. He was holding one of the little fun size candy bar shaped "gifts" in the bag. He gave a light squeeze...rolled it around...and then looked up at me confused.
Me..."What are you doing?"
Mario..."What are these?"
Me..."cat shit, babe"
Mario..."Oh my god!" jumping backwards as if he'd been attacked "OH MY GOD!"
Me..."What did you think it was?"
Mario..."I thought someone had given us some candy! I was trying to figure out what it was without breaking into the bag!"
Me laughing..."Babe, it's the same white bag you fill up with poop every morning...what looked different about it?"
Mario..."I don't know...oh my god!"
I love that he empties the litter box every day and yet he was completely grossed out by this fondling through the bag. Maybe he had already imagined himself eating one of these morsels?
Thursday, December 06, 2012
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Better Garden
We have a bigger backyard now. With the bigger backyard we knew there would be more serious veggie planting. We put in raised beds, plus there is actual ground to plant in...I figured it would be easier to grow veggies, plus I can grow things I haven't been able to grow before just from not being constricted to small containers.
So, I put in my first winter garden. I am so excited to plant things I haven't planted before. I have lots of lettuce, arugula carrots, beets, kale, brussel sprouts...things I didn't have the room for before.
So, I put in my first winter garden. I am so excited to plant things I haven't planted before. I have lots of lettuce, arugula carrots, beets, kale, brussel sprouts...things I didn't have the room for before.
Lettuce and Arugula off to the left are green onions and soy beans (although my bean sprout has disappeared) off to the right is a little cherry tomato plant
This is all my mescalin mix lettuce and green leaf lettuce
In front is my Arugula, regular Italian and Wasabi Arugula...I love it
Bottom right are raddishes, to the right of that is carrots, then the gray green plants are broccoli...the rest are all different beets...I CANNOT WAIT FOR BEETS!
These are all Brussel Sprouts. Something has been munching on them out there...but they are still going strong. I can't wait to get some sprouts off of them! I have no idea how long they will take to grow.
After six months of begging, our landlord finally added a water spigot to the backyard...which is why I had a winter garden and not a summer garden. With the water, the mystery cirtus tree in our backyard came to life and has a ton of yellow lemons on it! I'm so excited! I love love love lemons...now if they'll just ripen up enough!
Thursday, November 01, 2012
Remote Possibilities
Most of the time Mario and I fall asleep with the television on. Partially it drowns out the Bear. Partially it's from when with lived in the last apartment and there was a little "activity". At least if there was noise from the tv, I didn't have to worry about hearing stuff I didn't want to hear. Lately though, we've been sleeping with the television off a bit more. Its far more peaceful here and with my Thunder storm and rain sounds, the television just isn't needed.
The problem that we have always had, though, is the remote control. Where should it go? Mario insists on putting the remote on top of me when he goes to sleep. He will lay it on my back if I'm already sleeping or on my tummy if I'm still watching it. This makes me crazy. When I complain about this, he tosses the remote to the end of the bed...kicking it off half way though the night while he runs in his sleep. I just put it between our pillows. Then it's out of the way and if we wake up and decide to watch a little tv, there it is. For some reason he just can't have it there. He'll fall asleep sleeping on his phone and his headphones, but he can't have the remote hidden between our pillows.
Luckily, most of the time I fall asleep last, so I get the final say on where it goes. Of course, he wakes up more often during the night, so I wake up with the remote on me anyway. Although most of the time it's a mystery where it will end up by morning. Today was no exception. I woke up while Mario was in the shower. I decided to turn on the tv and see what was going on in the world. I looked in my usual spot between the pillows...nope. I threw back the covers on Mario's side of the bed...nope. Smoothed out the blankets looking for any lumps...besides the lump of dog that was laying next to me. I didn't find anything, so I just picked up my trusty iphone and worked with that.
Eventually Mario came out of the bathroom and I realized that I that my bladder was full. As I started removing the random kittens and dog from around me, I noticed an extra lump...no not my lovely lady lumps. Somehow, the remote control had made it's way up my pajama top and was up near my armpit!
Me "Mario! Do you see this?" Showing him a lump in my pajama
Mario "What is that?"
Me "The remote! The remote is up my pajamas! How did it end up there?!"
Mario smiling "I probably did that, didn't I?"
Me "probably!"
The problem that we have always had, though, is the remote control. Where should it go? Mario insists on putting the remote on top of me when he goes to sleep. He will lay it on my back if I'm already sleeping or on my tummy if I'm still watching it. This makes me crazy. When I complain about this, he tosses the remote to the end of the bed...kicking it off half way though the night while he runs in his sleep. I just put it between our pillows. Then it's out of the way and if we wake up and decide to watch a little tv, there it is. For some reason he just can't have it there. He'll fall asleep sleeping on his phone and his headphones, but he can't have the remote hidden between our pillows.
Luckily, most of the time I fall asleep last, so I get the final say on where it goes. Of course, he wakes up more often during the night, so I wake up with the remote on me anyway. Although most of the time it's a mystery where it will end up by morning. Today was no exception. I woke up while Mario was in the shower. I decided to turn on the tv and see what was going on in the world. I looked in my usual spot between the pillows...nope. I threw back the covers on Mario's side of the bed...nope. Smoothed out the blankets looking for any lumps...besides the lump of dog that was laying next to me. I didn't find anything, so I just picked up my trusty iphone and worked with that.
Eventually Mario came out of the bathroom and I realized that I that my bladder was full. As I started removing the random kittens and dog from around me, I noticed an extra lump...no not my lovely lady lumps. Somehow, the remote control had made it's way up my pajama top and was up near my armpit!
Me "Mario! Do you see this?" Showing him a lump in my pajama
Mario "What is that?"
Me "The remote! The remote is up my pajamas! How did it end up there?!"
Mario smiling "I probably did that, didn't I?"
Me "probably!"
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Thunder from down under
I finally decided to give up ear plugs. This has been something I've wanted to do for a long time. No, Mario has not stopped snoring like a bear with a chainsaw. This decision was made because I found something else to stick in my ears while sleeping. Yeah that just sounds weird, but I found some wonderful earphones that perfectly fit my petite little ears...and they were cheap.
This means that I can fall sleep listening to the sultry sounds of the rain (or in Mario's case Al Jarreau or Michael Jackson). I started downloading apps. Turns out I'm picky when it comes to my rain, I decided I needed a fairly realistic rain...let me tell you some of these free rain sound apps are just junk. I'm sorry dropping water in a tin can, does not sound like a realistic rainstorm on a tin roof. I want it to actually sound like it's raining outside! After a a good ten downloads, I finally found a good rain sound with Thunder. I love it.
It's relaxing and I sleep really deeply...once I get to sleep that is. For the most part this thunder storm sound board is just a nice rolling sound. The thunder works itself up to a nice roll, then it fades out and you can hear more of the rain. But I asked for realistic right? Well, sometimes just as the thunder is rolling out, and the sound of the rain is lulling me into that spot where I am just about to fall asleep...a very realistic and loud thunder clap cracks and scares the shit out of me making me jump and in turn waking up the dog and both cats....Of course the Bear sleeps through it. It's very similar feeling to the falling in your sleep and waking up mid fall. You know that embarrassing unmistakable convulsion...yeah you know.
It happens to be a long enough loop that it catches me just as I am at the point of falling asleep...every night. Luckily, I am at that sleepy point that I actually fall asleep before it cracks again. The first night was rough though. The first time I jolted up knowing what it was because I heard the crack. However, every time it would loop to that thunder bolt, I'd wake up and couldn't exactly figure out why I would wake up...I smartened up and figured it out by the next morning.
Have I stopped listening to it though? Noooo, of course not. Because of the Bear and his chainsaw, I have to wear the earplugs if I want any sleep. What does this mean? No real life sound of rain to fall asleep to! So, I don't want to give up on my fake rain sounds. I do actually sleep really deeply now and haven't been waking up at all at night. Besides, I think I have this contest with myself to really fall asleep before the thunder cracks and I jump...and it makes me laugh when it makes me jump.
This means that I can fall sleep listening to the sultry sounds of the rain (or in Mario's case Al Jarreau or Michael Jackson). I started downloading apps. Turns out I'm picky when it comes to my rain, I decided I needed a fairly realistic rain...let me tell you some of these free rain sound apps are just junk. I'm sorry dropping water in a tin can, does not sound like a realistic rainstorm on a tin roof. I want it to actually sound like it's raining outside! After a a good ten downloads, I finally found a good rain sound with Thunder. I love it.
It's relaxing and I sleep really deeply...once I get to sleep that is. For the most part this thunder storm sound board is just a nice rolling sound. The thunder works itself up to a nice roll, then it fades out and you can hear more of the rain. But I asked for realistic right? Well, sometimes just as the thunder is rolling out, and the sound of the rain is lulling me into that spot where I am just about to fall asleep...a very realistic and loud thunder clap cracks and scares the shit out of me making me jump and in turn waking up the dog and both cats....Of course the Bear sleeps through it. It's very similar feeling to the falling in your sleep and waking up mid fall. You know that embarrassing unmistakable convulsion...yeah you know.
It happens to be a long enough loop that it catches me just as I am at the point of falling asleep...every night. Luckily, I am at that sleepy point that I actually fall asleep before it cracks again. The first night was rough though. The first time I jolted up knowing what it was because I heard the crack. However, every time it would loop to that thunder bolt, I'd wake up and couldn't exactly figure out why I would wake up...I smartened up and figured it out by the next morning.
Have I stopped listening to it though? Noooo, of course not. Because of the Bear and his chainsaw, I have to wear the earplugs if I want any sleep. What does this mean? No real life sound of rain to fall asleep to! So, I don't want to give up on my fake rain sounds. I do actually sleep really deeply now and haven't been waking up at all at night. Besides, I think I have this contest with myself to really fall asleep before the thunder cracks and I jump...and it makes me laugh when it makes me jump.
Thursday, August 30, 2012
A message to Mario from the Kittens
laura616
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https://www.onlinefilefolder.com/2sATOfs70uSkEyKMUUUUU77777777777777
https://www.onlinefilefolder.com/2sATOfs70uSkEyKMUUUUU77777777777777
WTF.......
Sent
at 7:35 PM on Thursday
Calling Mario D'Anna at 7:38 PM on
Thursday
548+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++]"
|/02111111111111111]??????????????????????????????????????????????????????kjJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJ';P=0PP;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;-[99999999999999999999997676666666666666666666666666
/|0L+
|/02111111111111111]??????????????????????????????????????????????????????kjJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJ';P=0PP;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;-[99999999999999999999997676666666666666666666666666
/|0L+
wow have the cats been typing you all morning?
there were 23 emails to you open...like they were going to write
an email
guess they missed you
junk mail. from my own family!
Guess they had a lot to say. Not only had they typed and sent this to Mario. They called him and tried to send 23 emails to him...luckily they didn't get those to send. I love his reaction in the middle of the message.
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
A Moment of Silence Please
Mario just came to me to break the news of the untimely death of our toilet paper holder. Yeah, yeah, we can just go buy another toilet paper holder. The thing is, this one looks like the original toilet paper holder from when this building was built in the 40s!
It's a cute little wooden guy with a small carved peg at one end and a spring and carved wooden peg that inserts at the other end. It was well built and did it's job like no other. The cool part of it was also the problem...the spring. That spring could launch that peg across the room at the most inappropriate times! Especially if you were in a hurry. I can't tell you how many times I've lost the peg and spring behind the toilet or in the bath tub. It was really a pain in the butt. However, it was original and we loved it.
Now, I'm sure you're curious how it met it's end. I was curious myself. Well, Mario has amazing timing. He had run out of toilet paper while he was in there. I came to his rescue and got him another roll. Because of the placement of the wall mount, he decided he'd wait until he was finished with his business to put the roll in the holder.
So, he finished his business, stood, pulled up his shorts, flushed the toilet and promptly launched that bitch straight in to the flushing toilet! Apparently there was no diving after the peg and spring. They were in the depths before he had a chance to even react.
I guess that's why I always replaced the toilet paper before I stood up. I must have recognized the dangers of loosing that peg and spring in the toilet...and used my butt to block their route into the toilet.
We are both really bummed. I wonder if the neighbors still have the original toilet paper holders. I'm going to have to get invited over and see if I can't "replace" ours...with their original holder. Changing the toilet paper roll will never be the same!
It's a cute little wooden guy with a small carved peg at one end and a spring and carved wooden peg that inserts at the other end. It was well built and did it's job like no other. The cool part of it was also the problem...the spring. That spring could launch that peg across the room at the most inappropriate times! Especially if you were in a hurry. I can't tell you how many times I've lost the peg and spring behind the toilet or in the bath tub. It was really a pain in the butt. However, it was original and we loved it.
Now, I'm sure you're curious how it met it's end. I was curious myself. Well, Mario has amazing timing. He had run out of toilet paper while he was in there. I came to his rescue and got him another roll. Because of the placement of the wall mount, he decided he'd wait until he was finished with his business to put the roll in the holder.
So, he finished his business, stood, pulled up his shorts, flushed the toilet and promptly launched that bitch straight in to the flushing toilet! Apparently there was no diving after the peg and spring. They were in the depths before he had a chance to even react.
I guess that's why I always replaced the toilet paper before I stood up. I must have recognized the dangers of loosing that peg and spring in the toilet...and used my butt to block their route into the toilet.
We are both really bummed. I wonder if the neighbors still have the original toilet paper holders. I'm going to have to get invited over and see if I can't "replace" ours...with their original holder. Changing the toilet paper roll will never be the same!
Thursday, August 16, 2012
Conversation with the Mister
Mario from the bathroom "...blah blah....which brush..blah blah"
Me trying to figure out what the hell he was talking about, and then just taking a guess, I yell "which ever brush I grab first..." deciding he was asking about our hair brushes. Why, after 6 years of sharing hair brushes, he was asking which brush I use...I have no idea.
I hear him brush his teeth. Then he came into the bedroom.
Mario "Huh? No, which tooth brush do you use?"
Is he serious?
Me "Are you serious? Which tooth brush did you use?"
Mario "I used the green one"
Me "Yours is the blue tooth brush. Since we moved here in December, your tooth brush has been on the right. The green one was on the left."
Mario "well, I thought the green one was mine"
Me "The tooth brush before this was blue also."
Mario "Hmm..."
Me "Mario, you sleep on the right side of the bed. Your towel is always on the right side of the door. Your tooth brush is on the right. You are a right side man. You put all your stuff on the right. Why would your tooth brush suddenly be on the left."
Mario "Interesting. I didn't notice that. I just thought my tooth brush was green."
Me "You confuse me...Wait...how come you are only asking today? I changed the tooth brushes over a week ago! You've been using my tooth brush for a week!"
Mario "I kept forgetting to ask. Well, I guess the blue tooth brush is mine!"
Me "You're crazy."
I only changed the tooth brushes, because mine was still in the car from when I went camping the weekend before. So, I grabbed a new brush for me and I figured, if I was getting a new tooth brush, I should change Mario's also. I actually planned how I would change the tooth brush out, because I knew that even though this should be a simple thing...it could possibly confuse the man! However, I figured since his tooth brush was blue already, if I gave him another blue tooth brush, he'd just go with it...plus I'll be honest, I wanted the pretty green tooth brush. Well, I guess he wanted the pretty green tooth brush also. He just couldn't keep his hands off it!
The man totally baffles me!
Me trying to figure out what the hell he was talking about, and then just taking a guess, I yell "which ever brush I grab first..." deciding he was asking about our hair brushes. Why, after 6 years of sharing hair brushes, he was asking which brush I use...I have no idea.
I hear him brush his teeth. Then he came into the bedroom.
Mario "Huh? No, which tooth brush do you use?"
Is he serious?
Me "Are you serious? Which tooth brush did you use?"
Mario "I used the green one"
Me "Yours is the blue tooth brush. Since we moved here in December, your tooth brush has been on the right. The green one was on the left."
Mario "well, I thought the green one was mine"
Me "The tooth brush before this was blue also."
Mario "Hmm..."
Me "Mario, you sleep on the right side of the bed. Your towel is always on the right side of the door. Your tooth brush is on the right. You are a right side man. You put all your stuff on the right. Why would your tooth brush suddenly be on the left."
Mario "Interesting. I didn't notice that. I just thought my tooth brush was green."
Me "You confuse me...Wait...how come you are only asking today? I changed the tooth brushes over a week ago! You've been using my tooth brush for a week!"
Mario "I kept forgetting to ask. Well, I guess the blue tooth brush is mine!"
Me "You're crazy."
I only changed the tooth brushes, because mine was still in the car from when I went camping the weekend before. So, I grabbed a new brush for me and I figured, if I was getting a new tooth brush, I should change Mario's also. I actually planned how I would change the tooth brush out, because I knew that even though this should be a simple thing...it could possibly confuse the man! However, I figured since his tooth brush was blue already, if I gave him another blue tooth brush, he'd just go with it...plus I'll be honest, I wanted the pretty green tooth brush. Well, I guess he wanted the pretty green tooth brush also. He just couldn't keep his hands off it!
The man totally baffles me!
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Texting with my Mother
This morning I was reading a very reputable news site Perez Hilton, when all of a sudden my phone said my mom was calling. Of course 6am is the worst time to get a call. So, I immediately panicked and picked up. Mom wasn't responding but I could hear here talking to the dogs...non emergency pocket dial.
I let her know this afternoon when she texted me about something else...
Me "You know you called me before 6am this morning...small heart attack!"
Mom "Really??? Was trying to turn off the phone alarm. Sorry. It woke me. And I could not get to it in the phone menu."
Me "Well I can't give you a guilt trip for waking me up...cause I was awake. I did think it was funny after I realized it wasn't an emergency"
Mom "I didn't realize that I did."
For some reason, I decided to take a look at what time she called and realized my mistake...
Me "Oh my god it looks like I called you! But I was reading the news! Well that would explain why your alarm was going off!"
Mom "Ur such a shit."
I'm not sure how it happened. I was reading one minute and answering the next. Good thing it was my mom though and not anyone else! I do kind of think it's funny that she thought it was the alarm and not the phone ringing...I do the same thing when people call early.
I let her know this afternoon when she texted me about something else...
Me "You know you called me before 6am this morning...small heart attack!"
Mom "Really??? Was trying to turn off the phone alarm. Sorry. It woke me. And I could not get to it in the phone menu."
Me "Well I can't give you a guilt trip for waking me up...cause I was awake. I did think it was funny after I realized it wasn't an emergency"
Mom "I didn't realize that I did."
For some reason, I decided to take a look at what time she called and realized my mistake...
Me "Oh my god it looks like I called you! But I was reading the news! Well that would explain why your alarm was going off!"
Mom "Ur such a shit."
I'm not sure how it happened. I was reading one minute and answering the next. Good thing it was my mom though and not anyone else! I do kind of think it's funny that she thought it was the alarm and not the phone ringing...I do the same thing when people call early.
Thursday, July 19, 2012
How I Pick Up Women
Today, I caught a nice lunch with a friend and her daughter. After too many chips, salad, and appetizers, we headed out to the car. As we slowly rounded the corner, we stopped in our tracks. Lounging under my car was a cute little cat. Of course, she picked the one car in the lot that belonged to the three biggest suckers.
The immediate response between the three of us was "aww how cute...oh man, not another cat!" Jeanna is a kitten rescuer extraordinaire and her daughter is right there with her. Of course, I am trying hard to foster two kittens and failing miserably at not falling in love with them. Luckily, miss cute cat cut us a break. She popped right up and slowly meandered out from under the car. We all breathed a sigh of relief and continued towards the car. As I walked to the drivers side, little miss kitty was walking with me.
Of course, I can't not talk to animals, so I said "Hey pretty mama!" The cat didn't even look back. However, I turned and saw that I was getting a great big smile from the woman sitting in the car right next to me!
Me "Oh hi! Sorry, I was talking to the cat"
Pretty mama "Oh, I was wondering if you were saying that to me. I thought it was nice!"
Me "Well, you're a pretty mama too!"
Pretty mama "Thank you!" There was more conversation about her having lost 100 pounds, this being her favorite restaurant, this being her cheat day and her hiding out in her car waiting for happy hour, etc.
Let me tell you, she was very gorgeous. What I'm upset about, is that I never thought I would use such a cheesy way to pick up a woman! Hey pretty mama! Really! I could totally do better! I have always thought that those men that drive by and yell "Hey baby! You're hot!" and all those crappy lines like that were awful! They can do far better! I also never thought that women would ever go for that. I guess I hoped that when I inadvertently hit on someone, it would be far better than me yelling "Hey Pretty Mama!" I'm obviously not nearly as classy or as smooth as I thought I was...However, I must be pretty good, cause the cheesy pick up line totally worked! I guess after being married to Mario for 4 years I've still got it! Maybe I'll try a cheesy line on Mario...
Sunday, July 01, 2012
Cute and Talented
If you are one of my facebook friends, you probably know that Mario and I are fostering two trouble-makers kittens. They were on a shelter list to be killed the next day and we couldn't let that happen. It's something I have wanted to do for a while and this seemed like a perfect time to give it a try. So, far it's proving pretty good. With the exception of the mess they make, they are pretty adorable, feisty, and are becoming more loving every day.
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Mario and I take turns spending time with the cats and Tula. Tula was living with a bunch of cats when we got her. However, these kittens are still pretty small. She plays rough and I don't want anything to happen to these girls under our care. So, we switch back and forth, making sure everyone is getting enough attention and are very slowly trying to introduce them.
After two days, we decided to upgrade these little boogers from the bathroom to our bedroom. More space for them and a much less adventurous bathroom experience for us. Plus the smaller little booger loved to bolt from the bathroom as soon as we opened the door to explore the rest of the house. Which is why I've been calling her Scout. I've also been calling her Bossy, cause she's a bossy little shit. Chewy or Sage is the other little girl. Mellow and far more relaxed, she could care less where she's sleeping and eating. Which is why we call her Chewy. First because she's a furry girl like Chewbacca and second because she always has her face in her food. And Sage because I felt like she needed a second name also...why not.
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On their third night here, they've become far more ballsy and fearless. Mario and I had been out to dinner. We came home and made sure everyone was fed. First we spent time with Tula and then we both made our way in to play with the kittens. After hanging out for a while, I came back out into the living room to finish a little work. I could hear the television on in the bedroom, the kittens tearing my clothes off the hangers in the closet...then I heard the Roomba vacuum turn on in the bedroom. It's a little late for vacuuming, but it's really not too loud so I didn't think to much of it. Then it occurred to me that I could hear Mario snoring and objects hitting the floor.
I walked in to the bedroom. Mario was passed out and there were two guilty looking kittens sitting next to him. The roomba was under the bed going crazy. Those two little boogers had somehow turned on the power and hit the go button. Then they were clearing everything off the bed that they could. Mario was still passed out.
I woke Mario up and he was totally confused with all the noise in the room. Then he asked me why I had turned on the Roomba. I told him to look at the guilty looks on the kittens' faces. I fished the Roomba out from underneath the bed. Those little weasels went right back to their tackling and wrestling. I can't believe Mario slept through all of this.
I have a feeling that this is only the beginning. There are only two of these girls and they are pure trouble! So, I made sure to tell my sister what she has to look forward to. She has a young mama and three kittens. The babies are only about 4 weeks old. I told her to get ready for the pure chaos when they hit 8 or 10 weeks old. I can only imagine the trouble she'll have on her hands. Now, if I can get my kittens to learn how to clean the rest of the house, this situation might really work out for us!
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After two days, we decided to upgrade these little boogers from the bathroom to our bedroom. More space for them and a much less adventurous bathroom experience for us. Plus the smaller little booger loved to bolt from the bathroom as soon as we opened the door to explore the rest of the house. Which is why I've been calling her Scout. I've also been calling her Bossy, cause she's a bossy little shit. Chewy or Sage is the other little girl. Mellow and far more relaxed, she could care less where she's sleeping and eating. Which is why we call her Chewy. First because she's a furry girl like Chewbacca and second because she always has her face in her food. And Sage because I felt like she needed a second name also...why not.
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This is Bossy/Scout. She is the ringleader. She's small, but will bitch you out if she doesn't like how something is going down. However, she makes up for it with her all her love.
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Chewy/Sage is the bigger more mellow sister. A little more standoffish, but is becoming more of a lover every day.
I walked in to the bedroom. Mario was passed out and there were two guilty looking kittens sitting next to him. The roomba was under the bed going crazy. Those two little boogers had somehow turned on the power and hit the go button. Then they were clearing everything off the bed that they could. Mario was still passed out.
I woke Mario up and he was totally confused with all the noise in the room. Then he asked me why I had turned on the Roomba. I told him to look at the guilty looks on the kittens' faces. I fished the Roomba out from underneath the bed. Those little weasels went right back to their tackling and wrestling. I can't believe Mario slept through all of this.
I have a feeling that this is only the beginning. There are only two of these girls and they are pure trouble! So, I made sure to tell my sister what she has to look forward to. She has a young mama and three kittens. The babies are only about 4 weeks old. I told her to get ready for the pure chaos when they hit 8 or 10 weeks old. I can only imagine the trouble she'll have on her hands. Now, if I can get my kittens to learn how to clean the rest of the house, this situation might really work out for us!
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