Thursday, July 19, 2012

How I Pick Up Women

Today, I caught a nice lunch with a friend and her daughter. After too many chips, salad, and appetizers, we headed out to the car. As we slowly rounded the corner, we stopped in our tracks. Lounging under my car was a cute little cat. Of course, she picked the one car in the lot that belonged to the three biggest suckers. 

The immediate response between the three of us was "aww how cute...oh man, not another cat!" Jeanna is a kitten rescuer extraordinaire and her daughter is right there with her. Of course, I am trying hard to foster two kittens and failing miserably at not falling in love with them. Luckily, miss cute cat cut us a break. She popped right up and slowly meandered out from under the car. We all breathed a sigh of relief and continued towards the car. As I walked to the drivers side, little miss kitty was walking with me. 

Of course, I can't not talk to animals, so I said "Hey pretty mama!" The cat didn't even look back. However, I turned and saw that I was getting a great big smile from the woman sitting in the car right next to me! 

Me "Oh hi! Sorry, I was talking to the cat"
Pretty mama "Oh, I was wondering if you were saying that to me. I thought it was nice!"
Me "Well, you're a pretty mama too!"
Pretty mama "Thank you!" There was more conversation about her having lost 100 pounds, this being her favorite restaurant, this being her cheat day and her hiding out in her car waiting for happy hour, etc.

Let me tell you, she was very gorgeous. What I'm upset about, is that I never thought I would use such a cheesy way to pick up a woman! Hey pretty mama! Really! I could totally do better! I have always thought that those men that drive by and yell "Hey baby! You're hot!" and all those crappy lines like that were awful! They can do far better! I also never thought that women would ever go for that. I guess I hoped that when I inadvertently hit on someone, it would be far better than me yelling "Hey Pretty Mama!" I'm obviously not nearly as classy or as smooth as I thought I was...However, I must be pretty good, cause the cheesy pick up line totally worked! I guess after being married to Mario for 4 years I've still got it! Maybe I'll try a cheesy line on Mario...

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