Kids are Strange

If you ever felt like you were a wierd kid, read this blog 

http://www.insanemombrain.com/2013/11/childhood-confessions-aka-my-readers-are-freaks.html

I feel completely normal now! Some of the confessions had me cracking up and others made me gag a little.

My confessions

1) When I was young and was sent take a shower, I would go through my mom's stuff in the bathroom and make commercials in the mirror. I was QVC before there was a QVC. I'm sure my "showers" were over an hour long.

2) I used to sleep with my arms under my pillow because I didn't want bats to bite my arms. I also used to run and jump up on my bed, so the the witch under my bed couldn't grab my feet.

3) Once when my grandparents were staying with us for the weekend, I stole one of their tooth brushes. It was a cool red tooth brush with one of those rubber spikes at the end. We only got plain tooth brushes and this red beauty was irresistible. 

4) For a period of time I would walk past the bathroom next to my bedroom to use my parent's bathroom. This must have gone on for months. Apparently, their bathroom was better.

5) I used to make my sister step in dog poop. We had big dogs. I would cover their "pile" in grass and tell my sister to step on the grass pile. She'd believe me and step in the poop and get upset. At some point she finally caught on. So I would cover the poop with grass and put a flower on top...she fell for it again. Man, I was a jerk!

Conditioner for Sale!

Can we talk about my ongoing inability to buy shampoo. Not for lack of trying. I have gone to the store twice in the last week to buy shampoo. Only when I was applying the newly purchased shampoo to my head, did I notice that I had in fact bought conditioner. Twice.

This isn't the first time this has happened. About a year ago, a very similar chain of events happened. Which in turn, led to me trying the "no poo" hair washing...you stop using using sham"poo" to clean your hair. Instead you use vinegar or conditioner...it's supposed to be better for your hair and scalp...all those chemicals don't strip your hair...your hair produces less oil...it's amazing...blah blah blah. I like the idea. I really do. However, I was forced into this no poo hair washing due to my inability to properly tell the difference between the word "shampoo" and "conditioner".

After last year's shampoo/conditioner debacle, I have been very careful to read the damn label. While the no poo hair thing was fine for a while, I was actually pretty happy to get back to my chemically shampoo. So when I ran out of shampoo last week, I headed to the store. I carefully read the labels. I swear. All I can figure, is that I pulled out a shampoo bottle, it looked funky, so I pulled the bottle from behind it...which should have been another bottle of shampoo, but ended up being conditioner because some jerk lined them up wrong! Of course, I didn't notice until I was trying to suds up my hair. Conditioner = no suds. Damn.

I informed Mario that we were out of shampoo and to just use the conditioner like shampoo...I'd pick some shampoo up in a day or two. Despite the fact that Mario has long hair, he's not a conditioner user. That night when I asked him how the conditioner worked for him, his response was "Babe, that conditioner is amazing! My hair has been dead sexy all day! Even Perry told me I was glowing today!" I laughed and then realized that he was serious. He went on to tell me how there were no knots in his hair and it was so smooth and again told me how dead sexy it was. The man kills me. (The thing is, Perry would actually tell Mario he was glowing. A few weeks ago he walked by Mario and his long hair at work and said "Hey Flabio...You're beautiful!" They have a special relationship.)

Regardless, of how happy Mario is with his dead sexy hair, I decided I'd pick up some shampoo anyway. I walked into the store chanting "shampoo, shampoo, shampoo!" over and over. I went straight to the isle, read all the labels, and picked up a bottle of shampoo. Yes! I did it! I finally had some damn shampoo! I got home and decided to transfer this shampoo to the old shampoo bottle because it has a pump. It took about half a bottle to realize that this shampoo looked a lot like conditioner! I screamed "NOOOOOO!!!! God damn it! I did it again!!!"

Now, not only do I have a huge half bottle of conditioner left over from before, I now had a huge full bottle bought last week, and a shampoo bottle half-full of conditioner from this week! I refuse to go back to the store. I give up. I have now forced myself back into the no poo hair thing again! I have a form of shampoo/conditioner dyslexia...it's the only way to explain this!

You can see that I just gave up even putting the lid back on once I realized that I was putting conditioner into the shampoo bottle. Seriously that is a shit load of conditioner to get through!

Arrangements

Last night, I dreamt I was back in school. I was with people from high school...however, the teachers were from college. I was pretty excited to be there actually. I loved seeing everyone again and being back in a creative environment.

First day of class was our first project. However, this wasn't just any first project. This project was to be the biggest part of our grade for the entire year and also determined if we belong in this school at all. This was a make or break project.

The project...was balloon arrangements. Yes like flower arranging...but with balloons. They were grading on use of balloons and how creative we were with the ribbon and bows that hang from the balloons. Yeah. I had five balloons at different heights...very traditional. Then I got creative with the ribbons. There were far more ribbons than balloons. Some were curled, some were loose waves, some were straight...that shit was creative! I knew I was good!

Until the next morning at turn in time...most of my balloons had popped. How would I ever be accepted into this school without a bitchin' balloon arrangement! I was upset. Who wouldn't be! But I took charge and problem solved! Asked the teacher for more balloons and helium and was good. But it turned out half the class was having the same problem. I wasn't the only person with the issue, but now they were all coming to me to help.

Ok as I write this, I can totally see the after school special my brain was trying to get me to see. Don't be afraid to ask for more time or help, don't let a small problem seem bigger than it really is, you're not the only person with problems, even your peers have them, just because everyone seems to together on the outside doesn't mean they don't have popped balloons too, blah blah blah. I get it.

It's funny this dream has stuck with me all day. I don't even remember what the finished project was...it kind of just faded away. However, I keep picturing my original balloon arrangement with some of the balloons popped and mostly noticing the balloons that didn't pop and how creative I was with those damn ribbons! Oh god, I'm totally a glass half full person! barf!

The real question is...Why a balloon arrangements?! Where the hell did my brain come up with that! Maybe I have a new calling?

Lots of Questions

In the Dr's office today three guys came in together. One guy was called to the back. He came back out after five or so minutes and yelled to his friends from across the room "Guys! I'm all clear!" There was lots of cheering and high fives between the three. Judging by the looks on the faces of the rest of us in the waiting room, I think we were all trying to determine what he was clear of...Std? Clear to travel? What was it?! I think if you are going to be that vocal in a quiet waiting room...I think you should share the good news with all of us!

The Mouth

Today I went to the bank to pick up some quarters. It always seems a little too quiet in banks. A woman got into line and started talking to the girl behind me about her tennis shoes for a minute. Then it got quiet again as the next person stepped up to the next open teller. Then the next man in line walked up to another teller, he asked for $1,000 in singles. We all looked at each other.

The man behind the two ladies asked "$1,000 in ones?" The ladies looked at each other and shrugged. One of the ladies said "My that's a lot of ones!" Then my mouth opened and I heard myself say, "Sounds like we're going to a strip club!" Everyone in line giggled. Then we all went back to the quiet.

That's when I really started hoping I didn't say it too loud...cause if I can't be classy, at least I be quiet enough so the whole bank doesn't think this guy is going to a strip club! I didn't want to shame the guy, I mean maybe he was just getting money for his store...nah he was totally going to a strip club! That makes me giggle more!

Production Damper

While I was busy being lazy today, I was accidentally uber productive. I cleared up banking stuff, ordered a card reader for accepting credit cards, washed dishes, cleaned up the bathroom, pulled addresses for mailers, emailed, edited, edited more, sent out photos to a new stager and even pulled the couch and chair out and vacuumed the shit out of the house. I was on such a roll I thought I might get my whole to do list finished...and that never happens!

I even went out and harvested some yummy stuff for dinner. (Um, I was craving this roasted beet and goat cheese salad I made last night...it was so good, it's all I could think about today!) Maybe that's what was super powering me!

Dinner was made, and I was sitting down with my yummy salad to do a little more work...when the this happened...

Looks pretty right? It's no fancy design...that there is a fully f'd up, cracked laptop screen! Production pretty much shut down right there.  I'm in such a bummer mood now. Two good things though...Mario hooked up a cable to the tv, so I can use it as my computer screen...and...thank god I have business insurance! Oh third good thing...did a complete back up on all my files. Luckily, I back up my business stuff pretty often...this just topped it off and made me back up my personal crap.

Luckily my insurance people are at the end of the block here. I'll drop in with a sad face and show them my laptop. This just bums me out. I had just upgraded my hard drive and some other stuff Mario did to it. I had planned on using this guy for a while. We had a good thing going. This was just senseless destruction...boo!

A Little Rant

With the flood of red and pink equality images on facebook today, I can't help but think about how proud I can feel about our society at times and alternatively how disappointed I can feel. I have a very hard time understanding how a group of people do not have the same rights as others. I know people who have been together far longer than Mario and I, have been dedicated to each other and have been a family for longer than most couples I know...yet do not have the ability to marry if they would like, and more importantly do not receive the same legal security as many people who are married for just a few minutes. For most people, it's simply not wanting to see a same sex couple get married because they don't think that it's morally right, however, I wonder if they realize how far beyond that it goes. 

The right to marry is merely the tip of the iceberg  It's all those little things that heterosexual couples don't even think about because it's been available to us for so long...I think those very important things are lost on many people. It goes beyond the beautiful weddings to be had, to the partners who aren't allowed in to hospital rooms because they are not married or "family", to the partner who isn't allowed health coverage because they aren't married (yay to companies that allow health coverage to all partners), to the mother or father who don't hold the same rights to their children because they aren't biological or weren't able to legally adopt. Even the inability to for same sex couples who aren't able to file their taxes jointly can mean a loss of money. The list is long with the many legal aspects of life that are affected by the ability and inability to get married. As one of my wonderful uncle's said "It's not about our beliefs, it's basic civil rights...get the hell over it."

I think a lot of people can simplify their decision to deny these rights as a moral belief. Quite often I go back to a conversation I had with a good friend last year. The conversation was an eye opener in so so many ways. Essentially it ended with her telling me that since she had found Jesus in the last few years her decisions were based on what the bible said. Despite her friendship with people in same sex relationships and while she might have agreed that they should have equal rights, the bible states differently. She would go with what the bible says. She said "It's about when I get up to heaven!" I was gutted. It was the selfishness that I heard that was so disappointing. It wasn't that she didn't think same sex couples should have equal rights, it was about getting into heaven. I'm still disgusted by this. I think people need to stop looking at how it effects themselves as much as it effects children and families. As I walked away I couldn't help but picture her getting up to heaven and being told "My teachings were about compassion, love and helping those around you...wow did you miss the fucking point!" 

When I'm Good, I'm Really Good

Good news first...my new website is up! It's not complete, but it's up. It will be a work in progress for a while, but at least I have bigger better photos up to represent me. So, go take a look and tell me what you think.  www.mediacarrot.com

Now let me tell you how I've been beating the crap out of myself. Mentally, I'm great. Physically, I'm a mess. It started at the end of January when Mario got me sick. Nothing major. Just a cold that kept me in bed for a week. The only pain in the ass was the cough that would not go away for weeks!

Cut to two weeks ago. Mario and I were picking up some drinks to take to the drive in. We were all meeting up back at our house in an hour. We speed shopped, jumped back in the car, shut the door, and then felt a screaming pain in my right foot! I wised up, opened the door and removed my foot from the car door! It was one of those moments when Mario knew to keep quiet until he heard me breathe again. I had slammed my pinky toe and the toe next to it in the door. Luckily my shoe helped diffuse the pressure. It hurt like hell for a few days but I was ok.

Then last week, I walked into the bedroom to get on the tread mill. As I walked past to get my shoes, I kicked the treadmill with my other foot. I heard a little snap and froze in pain...waited for the pain to subside a bit. Ooh baby, this one hurt far worse than slamming my foot in the car door! Luckily it was just bit of bruising and discomfort while sleeping and walking for a few days.  At least my other foot was feeling better.

Then Mario was nice enough to give me another cold last week. I think I made it worse by working through it instead of taking it a bit easy. I was just about to take a hose to my nose to clear out my sinuses and lungs, when I finally got a hold of some good medicine. I also decided to take it easy and get lots of sleep Saturday and Sunday.  Thankfully I started to feel better and have finally gotten control over my new even more annoying cough.

Today I finally saw a real improvement in my cold, but have been sporting a two day migraine. Then to add insult to injury...or injury to insult. I cracked my left pinky finger on the dinner table. What the hell is going on with me?! I tried ignoring it hoping it would feel better. It was a bit swollen and then I realized it was bruising up. yay! So, we stopped and got one of those finger sling things. Annoying, but at least it's immobilized. I don't think it's broken and I don't think they can do much for a pinky anyway, so I'm just going to be good and take enough ibruprophen to take care of my migraine and pain.

I'm such a mess...but at least my pretty new website it up!

Laundry Day

I have been shooting a pretty good amount in the last week, so I was happy to be able to work at home today. I had a list of chores that need to be done. A shoot to edit, dishes, laundry, bathroom, website, taxes, shopping...a good full list.

First thing I did when I got up today was to get the laundry ready and separated. I had everything set out on the bed. I got my quarters ready. I got my soap and dryer sheets out. I got the dog on a leash (because for some reason she feels she deserves to walk over to the laundry room with me any time it's laundry day). I got us all out the door and strolled to the laundry room, only to find that it was in use. It's a rare occurrence. Most of the time I feel like I have the laundry room to myself. So, Tula and I carried the laundry back to the apartment. I set the bags on the couch and told Mario that Nathaniel was doing laundry, so I'd check back later.

Later ended up never happening. I got side tracked by everything else on the list and I really don't like to walk out to the laundry room in the dark. The laundry remained on the couch ready for me to wash it tomorrow. However, Mario was heading to the bedroom to go to bed and I knew that the laundry was still separated out on the bed. So, I yelled to Mario to just put the piles into either laundry bags or back into the dirty laundry basket and I'd just get it tomorrow and to ignore the smallest pile on the right because I needed to hang it up. I was just about to get up and help put it away, when Mario yelled that he had it.

I continued to work on my taxes. I heard Mario moving around and straightening things out. Then I heard him put something away in the linen closet and in the bathroom, but then he went back in the bedroom and got into bed. I couldn't figure out exactly what he was doing, but thought maybe he was just straightening up other things.

I got up decided to say good night to him. When I walked in though I saw that there were a few piles of folded clothes on the bed.

Me..."Babe, did you fold all the clothes on the bed?"
Mario looking very proud..."Yup"
Me..."Thanks...so you folded all the dirty clothes and put it away?"
Mario now looking sheepish "yup"
Me..."aww...Thanks honey"
Mario..."well, it didn't smell bad"
Me..."Wow, really?"
Mario..."I did notice that my blue shirt still had some stains on it and needed to be rewashed...or I guess it just needed to be washed"
We both started cracking up.
Me..."so you folded and put away your dirty underwear?"
Mario..."yup"
Me..."and you folded and put away my dirty underwear?"
Mario..."yup"
Me..."Thank you honey...I don't even fold my own underwear. Oh man are we going to have to do the smell test?"
Mario..."We could just wash everything."
Me..."So we should just wash all of the clothes we own? I don't think we have enough quarters. Did I hear you put dirty towels in the linen closet?"
Mario..."yup and I hung up the dirty towels back up in the bathroom."
Me..."aww, honey...at least your pretty."

I feel bad that he did all that work! He folded and put all the clothes away in record time! Poor guy was just being nice. I'm still laughing about it. Now I get to unfold the rest of the clothes on the bed that he didn't know where to put.

Blogging ADD

Is it February already! I can't believe it's been a couple of  weeks since my last blog. I've had funny stuff happening and everything!

1. The good part is at least I have a good excuse...busy business! Always good. I've been working on my website and it's almost ready to be posted. I'm very happy with it. I just have to name all my images. I'm getting there. I've just had to put it aside for a little because I was sick two weeks ago and now business has been picking up. At least I am almost there though!

2. This has been one of those weeks that I am just happy. No reason really. Work is great. We are over our colds. I have Mario home for a few weeks on break from work before they start the new season of the show...I'm always happy to get extra time with him. Rain is expect in a couple of days. What more could I ask for! All together it just makes for a good week!

3. Mom came for a visit a few weeks ago and we had a blast. We ate crab every night she was here. We apparently needed to compare the quality of the crab at two restaurants and crab at home. I wasn't going to fight her on it. We ate crab and drank champagne, got pedicures, shopped, and hit a museum. It was a full weekend and it was awesome!

4. I'm back in archery! I started taking my friend's daughter with me and another friend. She is just that type of 10yr old that would love it..and I was totally right...she LOOOVES it! I'm happy to have someone to go to class with and she has her request for a "play date with Laura" fulfilled. Although she did inform me today that this doesn't count as a play date because it's archery.

5. Yesterday morning I walked into the bathroom while Mario was showering. I was surprised that he had finished and was standing outside the tub with his towel draped on his shoulders and one leg up on the side of the tub looking very much like Captain Morgan. So, I put my leg up on the tub like captain Morgan and asked why he was standing like Captain Morgan  He said he wasn't captain Morgan, he was George Washington crossing the Delaware. I cracked up. The man is weird  Then he corrected himself and told me he was actually George Washing-done. How long did he stand there coming up with this?

6. We have been living with a needy needy object in our life. Mario's car. It was cute at first. A PT Cruiser. We found out very fast that this was not a reliable car at all! Luckily Mario had gotten the repair insurance on it (something I would have veto'd had I known) and it has saved our butt and our bank account many many times. Then in the twice in the last year, Mario crunched the the back rear lights on his car. We have been planning our exit from this car for the last two years. Adding in the repairs on the rear of the car and it not being dependable, we were just not loving the car at all. Then one day a few weeks ago, Mario got a letter from his loan company letting him know about trading his car in. I told him to just go take a look. I didn't think anything would come of it really. Why would they take a trade in with a crunched up rear end? Well they did! I was happier to put that $1000 down on a dependable car rather than fixing the PT. We are now in a much nicer and more reliable car with far better gas mileage  We love it! It must have been a good decision because three days later the car lot called and told us to come back in and redo the paper work. With the trade in, Mario's credit score jumped and he was now eligible for a lower interest rate. Our payments are now $25 bucks less a month. The decision to trade in the PT was obviously a great decision!