Proof

This morning as I was just getting dressed, I heard the cry of a baby. I drop everything and ran for the living room. Why, you ask.

Our neighbor is shy. Her husband, her son and her are so nice. Husband and son will sit out and talk with us. However, if she sees us coming, she'll smile and then jump inside the house real quick.

A little while back I started seeing a bump on her. A baby bump. Being the envious wench that I am, I started keeping an eye out for her. Of course she must have sensed that I was stalking her a little because, I wasn't seeing her around at all anymore...ok it could have been her hibernating and preparing for the baby with a 3 year old running around.

But then she disappeared from sight completely. I was no longer seeing her around at all. Not even walking to the car.

Then people started visiting. I knew she had the baby, but there was no proof of it. I hadn't heard a cry or even seen anything baby related.

Hearing a baby crying this morning, I ran. Hands over my boobs to avoid any injury while running with these knockers. I ran to the living room in nothing but my panties. I leaned to look out our window next to her door. I couldn't quite see, so I leaned over more...and then she looked up, straight at me. I ducked back in. Shit! Not only had I been busted, but I had busted while peaking at her while I was naked. I'm a reverse peeping tom.

I turned around to find Mario laughing at me. The neighbor now not only knows I'm a wierdo but caught me being one. And to top it off, I didn't get to see the baby. I should have just brought over a lasagna like a normal person.

I've got a new Stalker

Well not a new one, an old one. A guy I used to see way back when has popped his head up to say hi. It started off with a few emails to an old email account. Then I saw a couple of messages on an instant messenger that I don't use any more because of other stalker types. Then I got a few text messages on my phone a few days ago. I just deleted them and didn't think anything of it. I just kinda wondered why all of a sudden after four years, I'm the subject of his attention.

Then yesterday, I got a call from a local number. Normally, I would answer because it's my business phone. However, I picked up the phone and looked at it, but didn't answer. I'm not sure why. I kind of figured if it were important, they'll leave a message and I'll just call back. But there was no message.

A few hours later, I checked my phone and there was a voice mail. I listened and realized it was this guy. The funny thing is he didn't leave his name on the voice mail, but I knew who it was. It really made me laugh. Why? Because, after we stopped seeing each other, I kind of got the feeling that he had given me a fake name. When he didn't leave a name, I figured the bonehead couldn't remember what name he gave me. What an idiot.

Anyway, after ten more phone calls yesterday, he's offically my new stalker. There have only been a few calls today, but he just sent me a text message to me at 1am. He says that if I want him to stop calling me, I have to tell him. I think it's pretty damn obvious I don't want to talk to him when I didn't answer you're 10 PHONE CALLS IN A ROW!!!

Yay!

So you know a few weeks back, when I was being vague and going on and on about Murphy's Law and thinking positive? Well I was waiting to hear back about a really cool job. I really wanted to be positive and just talk it out on the bloggy, but I didn't want to jinx it.

After a month of playing around with my emotions, I finally got a call back. I GOT THE JOB! It's not the biggest job I've had, but this will take my business into other states. The job is for a property management company photographing all of their 28 properties. Most of the properties are in Florida, but I'll also be shooting in Arizona, Texas, Virginia, and LAS VEGAS! We will be driving out to Virginia to start and then meandering south through Florida. Then cruising across Texas and Arizona. Ending back in Las Vegas...the perfect ending. I think I will need to recuperate in Vegas for a while...anyone want to meet up in Vegas for a few days at the end of October?

Anyway, this couldn't have come at a better time. I was going to start selling off blood platelets and put Mario on the corner soon. We need the money in a bad way and I need my business to be moving forward.

I'm so excited I'm buzzing. I'll be shooting for almost three weeks straight. I will have to get some new equipment...two of my camera's must have known I would be getting some good work, they both decided to die a slow death and have recently they've taken a turn for the worse. So, it makes this the perfect time to upgrade equipment.

Of course when it rains it pours. I was going to have Mario come with and assist for me on the shoots. However, he's gotten some good calls to work on some shows. He's testing for one he really likes right now. Even if he doesn't get that job, he'll probably be starting work on one of the others while I'm gone. I'll also have 5 shoots to take care of before I leave in a week and a half...I just have to convince them all to work with my schedule.

I have so much to do in the next week!!! I'll probably be a mess getting everything ready but I'm excited to get out and road trip.

My favorite part...they're cutting a check for me right now. I love it!

I just found my first gray hair...I don't know how to feel. I was a
little excited to finally be a part of the family.

My mom has been pretty gray since her late 20s. She's a proud full
gray hair now.

My sister got her first gray in her early 20s. She had been working a
pretty serious job for an engineering firm and hated it there. We were
sitting in the car. I was sitting behind her in the back seat. I was
staring at the side of her head when suddenly saw it...a gray hair. I
zero'd in on it and pulled that beauty right out. She screamed. I
laughed and then held it out for her. I've always been a mean older
sister. I showed her the gray hair. she said there is no way that was
from her head. I asked her if she felt me pull it out of her head. She
then popped the mirror open and started searching. Not to scare any
one but she got a little patch of gray there after that. But she ended
up with that really cool little gray spot on the side if her head. It
looks good on her and it's unique to her. It stays hidden mostly when
her hair is down, but when she pulls back in a pony tail she gets a
cool gray stripe.

I always wondered when my gray hair would kick in. I have my mom'ss
coloring, so I assumed that I would get gray early like them. However
because I hadn't gotten any grays yet, I was hoping I would take after
my dads side of the family. They didn't really gray until their 50s or
60s. Now I wonder. One gray at 33...I mean 27, this could go either
way really.

So in honor of aging, me and my gray hair are going to Disneyland. The
happiest place for gray hairs on earth. We are going to ride rides and
pretend we're young still...we'll send photos

Tired

I pulled an all nighter last night. I photographed the hugest house earlier this week and couldn't get the images edited in the normal turn around time...which makes me crazy!

It started off with me just deciding to stay up until 2 am to finish. Then I decided that I could keep working until 4 am, if I got a lot more finished. Then there's a point when you might as well just keep going.

I was so tired, but was determined to finish this shit. I wanted for everything to be all sent off to the client before I went to bed. Then I could sleep as long as I wanted. I worked on. Well I think I worked on. There was a lot of those little moments when your head falls forward and you nod yourself awake.

I'm sure if I would have just rested and then gone back to work, I would have taken a lot less time and the images would have probably been better. But I love my sleep and knew that if I rested for even a little bit, I might choose sleep over work and not get back out of bed. I'm a little afraid to look at the images today. I just hope the client likes them.

I don't pull all nighters often, but when I do, there's always that point when I look at the clock and realize it's the same time I originally woke up yesterday. At that point I always have a little cocky moment, when I think that I could probably party all night like when I was in college still...I know, not a chance.

Mario woke up at some point. Realizing that I hadn't gotten any sleep, he started cleaning the house for me. I'm not sure why, but there wasn't a chance in hell I was going to stop him. Around 9am I finished finished finished and sent off all the images to the client. I threw myself a two minute happy party and then headed to bed.

Mario was happily collecting all the trash and just walking out the front door, as I stumbled for the bed...."stop!" I yelled. "You need to put pants on before you take the trash out. There are children out there" He stopped and looked down. I guess he got wrapped up in his half naked cleaning. He was going to head outside in his underwear and nothing else. He mumbled under his breath about going crazy and traumatized children. Then he looked at me and asked "bet you're gonna put that in your blog aren't you?...

Yes, yes I am.

His enthusiasm almost makes me want to believe it works

Mario is sitting next to me watching a little television while I work on this never ending photo shoot. I'm half listening to the show that's on, but am completely tuning out the commercials...cause who watches that crap. Apparently Mario does.

I'm working away when I hear Mario say "wow that's amazing"

I stare at him blankly

Mario "Did you see that commercial?"

Me "Nope working"

Mario "Well there is this new face cream for women. It has collagen in it. And when you smooth it on your skin, the collagen then fills in the wrinkles. Making the skin completely smooth"

Of course he mimes putting face cream on his face. Completely serious he says "That's amazing! I have got to see this stuff!"

I'm trying not to crack a smile, because I wonder what rock my husband has been hiding under. He then went on to tell me that he wants to try it on some old lady to really see how it works.

I always wondered who believed these BS commercials...now I know.

How tacky is it to cross out the your maiden name on your business card and write in your married name? Yeah I thought so. Here's the problem, when I first started my business 5 years ago, I ordered 2 million business cards. I have gone through quite a few, but I still seem to have half a million cards left. Seriously.

So far I have been handing them out with my maiden name on them. The only problem is that this seems to be confusing my clients. It never fails that they look at the name and then give me this sideways glance like "who the hell is Laura Nelson?" Majority of the time, I have email and phone contact with my clients long before we meet in person. So they have been seeing and hearing my married name. Then I cheap out and flip them a business card with a different name on it. I know not smart.

I hate to waste the cards. On the other hand, I'm so excited to design a new one. I've been over my logo pretty much since I had everything printed 5 years ago. I've been designing out a new logo...I will be putting a few versions on here for you guys to help me choose the best one. In the mean time, what the crap do I do with half a million business cards with the wrong name on it?

Dirty Talk

I just texted "Octopus tonight" to a bunch of friends and realized that it sounded like a lame attempt at talking dirty to them. Most of the time I wouldn't mind a little dirty talk. However, a few of those friends are some single desperate men who I certainly don't want to talk dirty with. I also don't want them using that dirty talk for a later time....*shivers*

No I'm not a Disney Freak

Really I'm not. I might have stayed at the Disneyland Hotel this weekend. I might have gone to the Disney convention on Sunday. I might have eaten at Goofy's Kitchen two times this weekend. And I might have gone back to Anaheim today to go to Disneyland because we didn't actually get to go this weekend. Alright, I had a good time, but I'm not a Disney freak. The hotel was free, the convention was free, and today we went back to anaheim to see some friends off and then take advantage of the park.

I didn't get down to Anaheim until Saturday night. I had to put my community time in at the garden and then work on some photos on Saturday, so I drove down by myself later Saturday night. Mario and his sister headed down on Friday, they wanted to be there first thing Saturday morning. You would have thought Mario was going half way around the world for a month. Seriously, when did we become such mushy bastards! He kept questioning if he should go. He didn't want to leave me alone. I reminded him that I used to live alone and loved it. Yes I do sleep better with a snoring bear next to me for some reason now, but I knew I would survive the night. He was still a sappy mess....he's so cute. I was getting all kinds of sappy text messages from him. It's not like we haven't been apart before. Guess it had been a while though.

Once I got there on Saturday he was all better and happy. Of course my arrival meant that we could go to dinner and he could finally go to his beloved Goofy's kitchen. It's a buffet place. You know Mario loves his buffets. I didn't think anything of it really. We put our names in stood back and waited.

Then in walked the biggest pair of boobs ever! This woman walked in with her big fake boobs in a long red dress. That-dress-was-painted-on! I can confidently say that she was not wearing panties or a bra. How do I know this? because I could see everything! The only place that dress was appropriate was in her bed or in a porn! Certainly not in a children's themed restaurant. Anyway, she put her name in and then sat across from us. Oh yeah, she had a husband and her kid with her...almost didn't notice her family with those girls of hers. Sitting across from her I noticed something. Not only was I watching her, but her girls were watching me. Any time I moved, they followed. I asked Mario if he noticed. He said yes and it was creeping him out.

As I scooted back and forth on the seat, testing to see if her boobs were watching me, I heard it. A name was called to be seated. I knew we were next on the list, so I leaned forward a bit to stand up. Only I didn't hear our name. I heard "Boobs, party of three". What! No way. She got there after us! Those tits of hers got her seated first! I could believe it!

Of course I was mad. I have boobs too! No they aren't as perky or big, but they're a good rack. We went up to the host and mentioned that we were next. She apologized and then told us to go up and have a photo taken with goofy. My anger was completely forgotten about the Boobs. I had no idea that there was even the slightest chance of dining with Disney characters. This is my nightmare! You know my dislike of the characters. I don't know how to act around them. I turn into an awkward mute. I don't know what to do with myself. So I just smile and nod and then look down until they leave.

At this point my anger was more focused on the husband. He knew my dis-love of the characters. Maybe that's why he was being so mushy that whole time! He knew he was taking me into the lions den of walk around characters. Of course they could smell my fear. Those fuckers were all over me! Goofy, Cinderella, Dale, Chip, Geppetto, Mulan, the list goes on. The kids there loved that shit. It was torture for me. Mario was nice enough to try to take the attention off of me, but they were still drawn to me.

At one point I felt an alien presence. I knew I had to duck if I wanted to save my life...


See that big fake smile. Not happy. Actually that guy almost got an elbow to the nuts, those teeth hurt. In the end I survived dinner. The food was actually really good, but I was happy dinner was over. I was relieved more than you could know, until I found out we were going to breakfast there the next morning. No shit.

Breakfast went much better for sure. We were in the perfect spot, so I could hide more in the corner with my back to the wall. There were also three more people to take the brunt of the torture.

Actually my absolute most favorite thing happened at breakfast. As two of us went back to the buffet for some more sustenance...it happened. As Chip and Dale happened to cross in front of us there was a very distinct noise heard. One of those two little weirdos had ripped a big fart. Then took off running for the back room. I couldn't stop laughing as I thought about how bad it must have been in that costume at that moment. You know it's hot in there. Now it was just foul. One of the other people at the table mentioned that those costumes take time to get out of. While I do hope they made it to the bathroom in time, I felt like karma had been dealt.

That is the first time I can say that I actually enjoyed a Disney Character! Maybe I am a Disney freak!

Happy Birthday to my Sugar Pants

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