We is Organized!

I shopped...and I scrutinized...and I bought what I hope will be the answer to all my camping organizational needs. I actually did pretty good. I bought three smaller bins and one drawer set...and some how it was a perfect fit!
                                                             I took these four bins...

 and exchanged them for these...

Square footage wise, it's not much of a difference. However, they are far more organized. The big drawer bin is all kitchen, washing, and fire needs. Almost two of the big bins fit into the drawers. Hopefully there will be no more digging around the bins looking for the little stuff that fell to the bottom. There are two small drawers, perfect for all the small stuff that we need fairly often.

One of the bins to the left of the drawers is lantern, headlamps, flashlights, and fuel. The second bin to the left is basically the set-up bin, tarps and stuff for setting up tents. The two bins on the top are optional really. One has hats and games and the other has a random inflatable mattress in it that we just bring as a back up. I like this setup because any of the drawers or the smaller bins are a great size to wash dishes in. 

In organizing this all, I got rid of a few things. However, I really hope to keep an eye on things this weekend that we really don't use. I'd like to start keeping things more minimal or at least more realistic. I'm pretty excited though, I think the drawers will keep a lot of stuff off the tables and out of site.

Now I just have to prepare for the weather change that I just saw in the forecast. I knew it would be 50-60s in the day and 30s at night. However, when I checked the weather today, I saw that there might be snow showers on Saturday. This makes me happy that Mario and I are going up on Friday to set up. Mario has been in snow but has never seen snow falling. So, as long as I pack warm enough clothes and blankets, we are more than ok with the snow! 

Camping Season is upon us!

I'm so excited to be camping this weekend up in Big Bear! It will be cold at night, beautiful during the day. We are camping right along the lake, so we are thinking about doing some fishing also! A good group of friends. Laying in my hammock reading. Eating some damn good food. Friday can't come soon enough people!

There is one thing that eludes me though. That one thing that I just haven't  gotten a hold of in the last 10 years of camping. Organization. You know I love organization. Love it! So, every time we go camping, I think I will get it figured out so-help-me-god! Every year, I get so frustrated with the amount of crap all over the table and hunting through bins to find one thing. And every year I am determined to finally figure out the perfect system to house all our camping shit.

When I was young, my parents seemed to have it down. There were like 5 cardboard boxes that were packed into our tent trailer along with clothes, chairs, food, dogs and we were set. It seemed simple. Maybe they didn't bring the amount of shit we do.

Actually I'm sure I need to par down. I already know I'll go through and take some things out that just aren't working. Kitchen organization is the worst. I've never gotten that down. There are pans and utensils borrowed from the home kitchen. Big things, small things. I just have a big plastic bin that everything gets thrown into and becomes the biggest most disorganized mess to deal with while camping. Ok I just spent an hour on pinterest looking up ideas.This year, I'm going to try to employ some tricks. A hanging shoe organizer to store kitchen and cooking supplies. They won't be sitting all over the table...less mess.

Instead of big bins, I think I'm going to look into plastic drawers and smaller more focused bins. Keep things separated and easier to get to. Worth a try. If not, I'll organize other shit with it! Wish me luck! 

I'll post photos when we get back. Also, have I told you before that the minute that I make plans for myself, my clients call for a bunch of shoots. It's very hard to say no to them, but sometimes I've got to do things for me too! Still there is a little guilt, they are the reason I get to take vacations. Off to home depot and kmart in the name of organization!

PS. Upon looking at other people's master camping lists, I was shocked by the amount of extension cords and crock pots on the lists. I know we do not suffer while camping, but holy hell that's a bit over the top! 

The Trouble with Lipstick

I don't have the best luck with lipstick. I've never been great at being able to choose a color or formula that works with me. Especially if I'm just seeing a tube and not able to see the color on my skin. Maybe I have an odd color skin or maybe I'm just picky. I'm not sure, but I have quite a collection of unwearable lip products.

The only real great product I've gotten was a lip gloss that my sister-in-law gave me for Christmas one year. I love the color. I loved the formula. It's on the more expensive side. However, I'll happily pay that price for something I know I'll love wearing.

I don't love paying anything for shit I don't love. Boy do I have a knack for buying shit that I don't love. I've tried 15 hour lip stain that only lasted an hour. I've tried lipstick that's too drying on my poor chapstick addicted lips. I've tried colors that look great in the tube but looked absolutely horrible on me. I've tried lip glosses that made my lips sting. I've had lipstick that wears off my lip quickly and leaves me with only a line around the edge of my lips...cause that's cute. Just last week I decided to try a 24 hour liquid lipstick. It looked like a good color and hey, if it lasts a few hours...win.

Honestly I was curious how long it would last. I got to the car and opened up the tube. Looked good. Smelled good. Applied. Eh on the color. If it will last through a photo shoot, however, I could live with the color. I started driving home and I noticed a spot on my lips that felt sticky. By the time I got home, my lips were sticking together. Not good. I get it. If you want that shit to stay on for 24 hours, it's gotta stick to you. Well it was really sticking. I finally got to the point where I had to put lip gloss over the top. I needed that barrier so my lips wouldn't stick together. It worked. It was definitely more comfortable. Unfortunately, usually once you put something over the top of it, it won't last as long. Well, it actually lasted a decent amount of time. I ate, drank and applied more chapstick over the top. I think it actually lasted a few hours. I haven't tried it again since because honestly it wasn't that comfortable. It was such an odd feel, that it's all I could think about. I want to put something on and not think about it. I will give it a second chance...I'm just not sure when.

So, yesterday, since I wasn't completely happy with that buy and I was still jonesing for a new great lip color, I bought this.

I thought the color looked pretty. I thought it looked like a spring color. I feel like it would be like my lip color but better. I also thought it might be either sheer or just a nice formula because it's called butter lipstick. So, as soon as I got to my car and applied it. It felt very nice. It felt like lip balm. Then I looked in the mirror. No way. That shit is light pink! Almost white! This is me feeling very disappointed again..but with almost white lips! I swear I keep looking at that tube and wondering where it went wrong.

I have to admit, it's not looking quite as light in the photo as it is in real life. It almost looks ok. Don't trust the photo though. I wouldn't go outside in this color.

Mario actually came home tonight, looked at the tube and said "oh that's a nice color!" I told him to wait and I'd show him. I only got it on my bottom lip before he started laughing. I need to start shopping where there are samples...only that just seems not so cleanly. I'm just going to buy my same lip gloss that I love.

Blogging ADD

1. Can we talk about how old I'm getting. No not me, my body. I'm still immature and a potty mouth. I went to a shoot today and came home with a stiff knee. I didn't do anything I don't do at most shoots. It was actually a fairly easy shoot. However, after the shoot, walking to my car, I could feel it stiffening. Nice. It's also popping a bit. It's just rebelling. 38 is closing in and my body is proving to me that I'm old and out of shape. Luckily I've been starting to work out a bit...which now that I think about it might be the reason my knee is out of whack. Oh well...it must be done.

2. I would love to know who added to Million Dollar Listing New York to be recorded on our DVR. Totally not Mario's kind of show, so he wouldn't have it record. I'm really not into seeing that kind of vanity and ego. I would never want to photograph for people like that. (This is where Mario would pipe up and point out that I do watch the Kardashians...and they are vain and egotistical) I'm sure most of the ego is for the show, but I'm still not into it. In the mean time it keeps recording. It's not on the roster anywhere, it just shows up. Maybe with my business being more successful this year, I'm supposed to watch and get some business ideas?

3.I was a little bored this evening...so I decided to weed the backyard. I'm not sure why this was my choice to fill the time...maybe it was my maturity showing up again. However, I've been working on my website and marketing like crazy this week, so I've been sitting in front of the computer non stop. I'm a bit tired of it really. So weeding it was. I also want to get some last minute veggies planted. Even with the stiff knee, I was out there and actually got the bulk of the weeds out. I made pretty good time, but I'm gonna be sore tomorrow. I'm ok with that. However, what I don't love it what ever attacked me. I'm not sure if it was a weed or a mean spider but I have some very itchy welts on my side and my foot. Since I don't like spiders at all, I'm going to pretend that some weed that I'm allergic to got up under my shirt and scratched me. Whatever it was, it itches like a bitch! It just goes to show you that it's just not worth doing the weeding! Ok the backyard looks great.

4. My sister informed me a few days ago that she thinks she saw one of my photos in OK magazine. Interesting. I did photograph one of the houses that is used on the tv show, Modern Family, a few months back. The house is used for the exteriors of Claire and Phil's house and the owner decided to sell it. Lindsay said it was a story about that. It's funny how much attention the little house got. My photos were on a video by the Wall Street Journal, The Examiner, The Hollywood Reporter, Daily, a bunch of other websites, and I actually got a call from The Insider to have my photos on their show. I thought that was cool, but alas, I couldn't have my photos on there. I think there was a conflict with the tv stations. Would have been cool to see my photos on the tv.

5. A few weeks ago, I set up the appointment for our orientation for foster and adoption through LA. We are sooooo excited to get this going! Mario thought we should celebrate, but I had to remind him that it's only the orientation. Lets celebrate when we finish our classes and get a kid in our house! I can't wait to see how this all turns out!

First World Problems

Today, I drove 3 hours to just north of Santa Barbara to take 'before' photos of an apartment building for some of my clients. Three hours there, half hour for photos, and three hours back. It wasn't a hard day by any means but it was a lot of driving. At least I got to drive down the beach through Santa Barbara. I broke it up a little bit by stopping by the outlet stores on the way back to look for some sensible shoes. Yes, I've hit the age where sensible shoes are necessary.

After trying on countless shoes, I found nothing I liked. So, I was a little bummed. Mama needs some good shoes. Then I got home too late to get any reasonable parking. Add the 6 hours of driving to countless trips around the neighborhood looking for parking and not finding any shoes...and it's enough to break a girl!

Parking is always a problem around here. The later you get here, the worse it is. Mario is constantly parking a few blocks away. This is great for exercise, but after working a full day, it sucks. Tonight I drove around the neighborhood three times. Fourth time around, I spotted a prime spot right across the street from our apartment. I shot across the street, pulled into the drive and am backing into the spot...when some jackass pulls in the spot and blocks me! I was sitting there in shock.

I'm still in reverse backing up and he shimmy's in, gets out and mimes "sorry, no more space for you". Total jerk. I gave him a nice hand gesture and looped around the block for a fifth time. Parked my car. Ran inside our apartment and proceeded to write this guy a note.

I told him "way to be a gentleman and steal my spot! I think we all know how awful the parking is and your move was complete crap. Get some manners because, you sir, are a jerk!" I kept it mostly nice because I didn't want this guy trashing my car. Then I put the note on his windshield and  Mario and I went out to dinner.

The little date did make me feel better. We had a nice time, good food, and then came home...to my same note left on our doorstep. What does this mean! There was no response on it. He just gave it back. Is this a "I know where you live" or "I choose to ignore you"? The least he could have done was say sorry or at the very least tell me to piss off...but no, the shithead just returned my note. My head exploded.

Suckers

It happened again...another foster pet came into our house and she isn't leaving. I blame Mario. Despite the fact that I did talk Mario into this, the minute he met her, he was in love.

A few weeks back Precious Paws, the rescue group that we have gotten all our pets through, posted that one of their rescuers was leaving state and needed to place this puppy. I had shown the photo of her to Mario a few times and could tell he wasn't even really taking me serious. We discussed it a few times, but we really didn't want to disrupt the house. Tula and the cats are happy. I'd hate for the house to get to chaotic or us to have fighting animals on our hands.

We decided to just sit on the idea for a bit, but I had this little guilt inside. Georgyne from Precious Paws must have sensed that guilt, because in came her email asking us to foster her. She offered us a foster to adopt situation. That would allow us to try the situation out and make sure everyone was happy. That really solved the problem of what we would do if it was a bad situation.

The next day Georgyne showed up with this tiny, skin and bones puppy with huge ears! The little girl was 8 months old and only 4 lbs 8 oz. She was seriously underweight. Her spine and hip bones were showing. I was actually pretty pissed that she was so malnutritioned considering she had been at someone's house for the last month.

How can you resist that look!

However, I knew that Mario would see her underweight as a challenge. He loves fattening up our animals. Tula was tiny when we got her also, and now she's gained the pound or two she needed and has nice skin and coat. I need to get a scale, but we can tell Belle has already put on weight. You can't see her hip bones or spine any more. She still needs a bit more weight, but I think she'll put that on in the next few months as she matures a bit. Her coat is already softer and shinier and she has so much more energy.

She's still a puppy and needs her naps

The best thing to come from this is how happy Belle and Tula are together. I really had no idea how lonely Tula was until this little pup came into our home. I've just never seen Tula so happy. They play and wrestle together, nap together, run around, and eat together. Even if Mario and I decided we really didn't want to keep her, we couldn't get rid of her, Tula would be devastated. However, there was never a chance we wouldn't keep her, Mario's pretty smitten also.

The other thing we've noticed about Belle is that's she's a bit of a clepto. She collects all the cat and dog toys in the house and puts them in her bed. As you can see in the video below, she dared to take Penny's favorite toy. The next thing I caught her stealing was just a bit more embarrassing. 

I swear those are not enormous underwear...she is just the tiniest dog you've ever seen! We now have a house full of tiny dogs and enormous cats. I'm not sure how this happened. We now have four animals from Precious Paws. Apparently we have no will power when it comes to saying no to fosters. So, about a week after we got Belle, I sent Georgyne a text telling her "Thankfully you don't adopt out children, knowing our will power, we'd have 10 kids by now!" She laughed. That's when it occurred to me that might be the reason Mario is a bit skeptical about fostering children. He's knows I can't say no...and he obviously can't either!

Another Year Goes By

I wrote this post last December. With the sudden loss of my uncle in a car accident this morning...I decided to go ahead and post it. You just never know when you will lose a loved one.

Yesterday marked 10 years since my father passed away. It feels like it's been forever and yet it feels like it just happened yesterday. Each year that we roll through November getting closer and closer to December 1, I wonder how I'm going to handle remembering the day that my father died...because every year it's different and I never know how I'll feel until I'm there.

I really don't like trying to explain to someone who hasn't lost a parent, how it feels. Because no matter what I say, that person will absolutely never know that loss until it happens...and it's something that I would never wish on anyone. I dread that for people.

A loved one's death is certainly not just one day a year. It's every day. However, certain days are definitely harder. Funny thing is, each year those dates and the reason for them change. Most years it's not Dec 1 that gets me. It's not even necessarily a holiday or a birthday that will make me feel that loss. It's those mundane days when I see someone joking with their father and feel completely jealous that they get to have those moments. Sometimes, it's trying to be that adult that I think he would want me to be or be the photographer and business owner that he would be proud of. Most of the time, it's because I can't just call him and tell him something funny that happened. It's amazing how after years of him being gone, I still reach for the phone to call him.

November has been rough for me this year. It's amazing how my favorite time of year can also be my toughest part of the year. I suppose part of it is not being with my family for the holidays this year. Part of it is reconciling that it's one more year that we haven't gotten pregnant or aren't in the position to adopt. Part of it is seeing Mario's mother's health falter. Then there are the everyday ups and downs. Add that all together and it becomes harder to deal with.

However, I think what is effecting me the most this year, is seeing people purposely sabotaging or abusing a relationship with a parent. I see multiple relationships that fit into this. And I want to just scream! What would you do it they were gone tomorrow? Can you live the rest of your life with how you spoke to them or treated them? My father was only 60 when he died. I fell into that trap of thinking he'd be around to see me marry or have children or even tell him all those things that I thought, but was afraid to say. While I can say that my relationship with him was great, I feel like we were just at the beginning of what it could have been. One the one hand, I loved our relationship but it also makes me feel like I've lost out on so much with him.

I think what was more valuable was the light it shed on the relationship I had with my mother and sister. Dysfunctional. Strained. No communication. I think the one thing my sister, mother, and I took away from my father's death was knowing that life is absolutely uncertain. My father was there one day and gone the next. There was no warning. Because of that we now say those things that need to be said. We now have those conversations that are tough. We end every phone call and conversation with I love you. It's not always been easy, but we know it's honest. We know the pain of not being able to say how we feel. So much anger and hurt from the past has been let go. A lot of it came from miscommunication and misunderstanding. A little communication really changed our relationships into something I had always wanted. I know I'm lucky to have that now and I know there is nothing in my relationship with my mother and sister that I will regret. I hope that more people could understand this. They say you can't appreciate the highs without the lows. I think our relationship is a perfect example of this.

Speaking with my cousin on the phone today brought up that raw pain I felt when my father died. I hate that she has to go through it. I know she is closer with him than most of her family. That loss is so hard and I hated hearing her feel that pain. The worst part is that the pain and loss will never go away, you just learn to live with it. I know you can't change other people, but hopefully you can change how you deal with those people you love. A little more understanding, love, and communication really goes a long way. It just takes one step.

Dead Blogs

There's always a point in my day when I take a break from work and take a look at a few blogs. It seems like every day there are less and less blogs and less and less posts on those blogs. It makes me sad to see all those blogs that I would read every day disappearing. I have a full folder of blogs that are no longer. I call it the Dead Blog folder.

Then I realized I was was one of those blogs! I miss the blogging. I miss coming here to tell you a funny story. I know in part it's because I've been putting so much time and energy into my business. Hey I'd say that's a good reason! However, I blame the other part on facebook. Really. It's far too easy to run over there really quick and post something funny that happened. Well, when I tell all my funnies over there, what the hell do I have to talk about over here?!

So, I've been making a slight exit from facebook. Not a big dramatic I-can't-take-all-this-drama-and-bullshit exit. Just one of those pulling back exits. I love to see what people are up to, but I feel like it's a big time suck. I do appreciate how it does bring us closer to people in ways. People that I haven't been able to get to know in real life, are now in touch with me on a daily basis. I know it's not face to face but it's more than I've been able to have with some of these people in years.

On the other hand, I've been a bit discontent with how I've been spending my spare time. I've been putting a lot of time in with my business and I feel like I need to reward myself with quality spare time. Facebook is not quality time. I'm not reading books like I used to. I'm not spending my time in the garden. I'm not writing on here like I used to. Three things I find very rewarding.

So I've decided not to become one of the dead blogs that I used to love. I have definitely realized I need this outlet. I need to bitch to you! I need to tell you the stupid shit I do! So, I'm rewarding myself by letting myself write again. I already feel better!

Happy New Year!

For the first time in a very long time, I didn't come into the new year as excited as I usually do. I wanted to. I was ready for the holidays to be over and me to be loving the new year...but I didn't. I had a bad attitude. There wasn't even one specific reason or any real reason. I was just in a bad head space. Which was totally annoying. Of course that bad mood didn't stop my normal New Year purging/organization fest that comes over me every year. I can't even stop that shit.

Luckily I bucked up and put on my big girl panties. I'm finally in my normal new year excited mood that I love. The kitchen is organized. The living room is back to it's normal happy self...it took a real hit between Christmas, my sister visiting, and people over for new years eve and new years day. I had already hit the hall and bedroom closet earlier in December. There are a few little areas to get to, but they are really low on the list. The rest of the house is in a good spot. But the garage is on my radar...

The only thing really left was my New Years Not Resolutions. I don't do resolutions if you remember and this really isn't a resolution so much as continued goals that Mario and I have. One of the big things Mario and I have is to buy a house in about a year. There are good things and hard work attached to that goal.

 First, this means we need to get rid of more debt. We ended last year in a good spot with debt. We had gotten rid of some bills and started focusing on how to start really hitting our student loans. We also have to really hunker down and save the money! So, one of the major projects I gave myself was to go through the last three months of our banking and find out how much money we spend and where. Holy hell! I will not tell how much going out to eat costs! I really had no idea. It was enough of a shock that I made two weeks work of crock pot meals that are now sitting in my freezer...no joking.

I'm excited about the second part..starting a family. One of the things that I don't think I've ever mentioned on here is my inability to get pregnant. Not that it's a secret. I just haven't really gone into it. I am 37 years old and want to be a mother. Mario wants to be a father.  One of our major problems with fertility treatment and private adoption of a baby is money. We don't have that kind of money. We can't see putting ourselves into that much more debt, when there are children in Los Angeles county that need parents. Part of us buying a house means that we can adopt. Really we need a second bedroom. I know that's a very simplified way to put it but it's true. We are going to start that classes for adoption and fostering next month. I'm excited and scared...but far more excited! We'll see what happens. Of course, we'll still keep trying to get pregnant!

Kids are Strange

If you ever felt like you were a wierd kid, read this blog 

http://www.insanemombrain.com/2013/11/childhood-confessions-aka-my-readers-are-freaks.html

I feel completely normal now! Some of the confessions had me cracking up and others made me gag a little.

My confessions

1) When I was young and was sent take a shower, I would go through my mom's stuff in the bathroom and make commercials in the mirror. I was QVC before there was a QVC. I'm sure my "showers" were over an hour long.

2) I used to sleep with my arms under my pillow because I didn't want bats to bite my arms. I also used to run and jump up on my bed, so the the witch under my bed couldn't grab my feet.

3) Once when my grandparents were staying with us for the weekend, I stole one of their tooth brushes. It was a cool red tooth brush with one of those rubber spikes at the end. We only got plain tooth brushes and this red beauty was irresistible. 

4) For a period of time I would walk past the bathroom next to my bedroom to use my parent's bathroom. This must have gone on for months. Apparently, their bathroom was better.

5) I used to make my sister step in dog poop. We had big dogs. I would cover their "pile" in grass and tell my sister to step on the grass pile. She'd believe me and step in the poop and get upset. At some point she finally caught on. So I would cover the poop with grass and put a flower on top...she fell for it again. Man, I was a jerk!