Clipper

Burbank has a really great magazine called Clipper Magazine. It's basically a big advertisement. Lots of local businesses advertising with some pretty good coupons...hence Clipper.

I always look forward to it. Being the penny-pincher that she is, my sister has even expressed some jealousy over our fantastic Clipper Magazine. Mario has been into it lately also. We both ravage it, pull out a bunch of coupons...and then promptly forget about most of them. But still we love our clipper magazine!

This week was the random surprise delivery of our Clipper. I was lucky to be home first, so I went through it leisurely. I sat back with my feet up and studied all the local businesses. Ooh look at those solar panels...I would totally use this coupon if I had a house to put solar panels on. Hmm, look at the coupon for the restaurant down the street...great coupon...if only the restaurant didn't suck. Oh wow...how good can that massage be...even with the coupon that's freakin expensive...but I want it anyway...cause who doesn't want a massage! Seriously I look through it a few times just to make sure I haven't missed anything.

Mario finally got to see our Clipper after he got home from work later that night. I had defiled it first...but he didn't know. He was so happy. Sitting at his desk, slowly flippling through. He was quiet. I was working. All was happy in our world. It was peaceful.

Then he saw the advertisement that blew his mind. Yup. Lazer hair removal! That's apparently what gets my man going.

Mario "Honey, it's only $75 for Lazer Hair Removal for arms!"

What is the correct response to that?

Mario "I can't believe how cheap that is!"

Great. Wait, Does he want lazer hair removal for him? Or worse, does he think I need hair removal on my arms? Are my arms really that hairy?

Mario "Doesn't that seem incredibly cheap for really hairy arms?"

Well, I'm going to guess he's thinking about his own arms, cause I ain't that hairy!

Mario "Hmm, wow, I can't believe how cheap that is."

Man, I really hope he hasn't noticed my beard chin hairs...He better not be hinting at me! Maybe I should wax my eyebrows tomorrow. 

Me "Honey, do you know how ridiculous you'd look with hairless arms, a bushy beard, and chest hair sticking out the top of your shirt?"

Mario "No, I'm just surprised how cheap it is." a little too awkwardly...he totally wanted him some hair removal! He would have gone with the arms just because of the coupon!

Me "Thank god! I could not be married to a hairy man with hairless arms! A man without arm hair is just not a man!"

However, I can't stop picturing my hairy italian with clean smooth arms...and it creeps me out. I like my furry man just the way he is.

Then just as quickly at the first coupon..."Ooh...look at the coupon for these solar panels!"

Just like that the next wonderful Clipper coupon had lured him in... and all was restored in our hairy world.