Thursday, November 18, 2010

Mario went shopping...and brought me back a blog post!

My mother-in-law's birthday is this weekend. Saturday, we're going out for high tea and will spend most the day hanging out. Of course Mario and Angela shopped around last week for that perfect birthday gift. The search was long and hard! The winner was found at Bed, Bath, and over the toilet bathroom cabinet. Only the best for Isabella!

Tonight was to be the official purchase of said bathroom cabinet. They headed out, shopped and were back before I knew it. I was shocked how fast they really were. When I mentioned this to Mario, his response was "Well, it was time enough for things to happen". What the hell does that mean? This was his explanation...

While they drove to the store, they made sure to formulate a plan of attack. First and foremost they wanted in and out of the store quick. No dilly dallying! The second issue was the weight of the cabinet...she was heavy! So, they decided to pull up in the loading zone. Angela would stay in the car, while Mario ran inside and put the cabinet into a cart. Then he would run out to the car and Angela would run in and pay for it. She'd bring the cabinet back out and then Mario would load it into the car. (Why the need for all the weird switching back and forth...I have no idea.)

When they pulled up in front of the store, it was getting close to closing time. People were running around trying to get the last minute shopping in before the store closed. Mario grabbed a shopping cart and headed over to the center of the store where the cabinet was. This is where the first problem became apparent. The shopping cart won't actually fit down the isle. So, he had to park the cart at the end of the isle. He then headed in to get the cabinet. He picked up the box and started heading back to the cart. He only has to carry this box ten feet to the cart on the main isle. However, halfway to the cart is where problem number two became apparent. He felt his shorts start to slip. This is where he paused to make a very important decision...Do I put the box down and catch my shorts? Or do I keep walking the last five feet to the cart and chance it?

Not a man to give in...he decided to take that box all the way to the cart! After all, it was a birthday present for his mother! And when he hit the end of the isle...his shorts were down around his knees! He then had to shimmy knock-kneed into the main isle carrying a heavy box while trying to keep his shorts from going down any further.

He tossed that bitch into the cart, rescued his shorts from the floor, peeked around to make sure no one had called the cops on him for indecent exposure and headed out the door to tap out and send Angela in to pay!

What I love is that there was not one bit of embarrassment! It was like it happens all the time ...I hope not. He was also absolutely sure that none of those people running around the store had seen a thing. No one saw him shimmying around with shorts at his knees trying to get a heavy box in the cart...except for that security guard watching all the security camera's in the back room! Someone is gonna make $10,000 off of my husband...and I'm pissed it's not me!

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