Heteronyms and Homographs

You all know that I work Bingo for the restaurant on Tuesdays. I play the Bingo wench. Tadao calls the bingo numbers in his loud voice and I run around when bingo is called checking numbers and handing out prizes. It's very very fun (insert sarcasm here)!

However, every once in a while something happens that makes it all worth it. Sure a crazy busy night for the restaurant is great...or maybe someone makes a fool of them-self....even better.

Tonight was one of those regular Bingo nights. Nothing too exciting happening. There was a good amount of people there, people were having fun, and I was working away instead of being the bingo wench. One of Tadao's friends decided to be the wench tonight and I took him up on that offer! We actually agreed to tag team it.

With the first hour down, I took over for the second hour. I have to admit I mostly block out all the BS that Tadao says. We've been running this show for over four months. I get to hear the same stuff over and over. I'm sure he's as tired of saying it as I am hearing it. I listen enough to hear the numbers but I mostly block it all out. However, for some reason tonight I was paying attention. Maybe it was the nice break for the first hour...or maybe I just knew that something good was brewing.

It usually goes something like "B-5! Burgers - five!" But as the evening goes on they get a little stranger. "O - 75! Ottawa family school bus - 75!" or sometimes even "O - 75! Naval Orange - 75!" Yeah they don't always make perfect sense. So far the hardest party of running Bingo has been coming up with B I N G O words. I understand. And for the four months that we have been doing this bingo night, we have been ending the night saying that we need to make a good list of words for him to read off of. But we haven't. So he says stuff off the top of his head.

So tonight went something like this...

Tadao "I - 17! Interceptor - seventeen!"
Tadao "N - 36! Nutella - Thirty-six!"
Tadao "G - 55! Gigantic Pasties - fifty-five!"
Me - "Tadao! You can't say that!"
The entire restaurant broke up laughing and Tadao looked totally confused.
Cute kid up front "I think you mean PASTRY!Gigantic Pastry."
The entire restaurant breaks up laughing again
Tadao "No. Pasties."
Me "Um well this is a family restaurant and do you know what pasties are?"
Tadao "Pasties. They are an English Pastry"
Me "Those are pronounced PASS-Tee not PAY-STEE...big difference buddy. PAY-Stees are the nipple covers that strippers wear"
Tadao "Well I didn't know! I meant the english pastry!"

The man was completely humiliated! It took quite a while for the giggles to die down...ok mostly my snickers. What I love is that the English-as-a-second-language waiters totally got it and were cracking up. What I love even more, is that it wasn't just Pasties. It was Gigantic Pasties! Which really is appalling, because all I could picture was dinner plate size pasties! What I love the best is that I was not the only pervert in the place that knew what pasties where. Everyone in the restaurant but Tadao knew what pasties were. These must be my people!