Thursday, October 07, 2010

Another All Nighter

I haven't seen much of Mario lately. He's working on the season finale of the show he's on right now. Lots of hours spent at work. LOTS of hours. He worked all last weekend and most of the weekend before.

Luckily it's been lots of hours but not many all nighters like earlier in the series. Until last Sunday that is. I was at home watching scary shows on television while working...fully expecting mario to come home. So of course he called to tell me he would be working through the night!

I was already freaked out. It's that time of year that I watch ghost shows and I'm always a sucker for real life murder mysteries. So of course I was watching the murder mystery that was about the woman at home alone, who's home gets broken into and she is killed. Figures. Of course this is after I had watched some ghost hunters and some other murdery shows.

At that point I knew I should just stay up. I had work to do still and there was no way in hell that I would be sleeping that night. I think I made it to about 5am. That's when I started fading, but I figured at that point I was tired enough to get in bed and fall right asleep without worrying if someone was going to break in and kill me. I started the normal door locking routine...checking twice because I had also watched that show where the husband and wife both think the other had locked the doors and a dude broke in and she woke up to a man standing at the end of the bed then beat them both and WHY DO I KEEP WATCHING THESE SHOWS!!!!

Doors are locked. Windows have been checked. I get in bed and then realize that it might be smart to have a weapon close by. Well, I just happen to have this wooden vase on the dresser...

So, I moved the vase down to the floor next to the bed. Easy for me to get to and fairly concealed. My secret weapon...if you don't happen to think that a big wooden vase next to the bed is weird. I felt pretty good.

Then I realized that there was a pain in the ass fly in the bedroom. So I went to the kitchen and got the fly swatter. I killed the little jerk. Flushed him and then realized that I might keep the fly swatter next to the bed also just in case. It's not going to knock an intruder out, but I can certainly bitch slap them around. Yup weapon number two!

I felt confident. I fell asleep pretty easily. Only to wake up two hours later to Mario climbing into bed. A quick kiss and I was already passing out again... then Mario noticed something. 

Mario - "Why is the fly swatter in the bedroom?"
Me - "Killed a fly"
Mario - "Ah"
Me - "and for protection"
Mario - "Think a little swatting is going to stop someone?"
Me - "It's to discourage an intruder"
Mario - "Do I need to get you a tazer?"
Me - "Nah I have this!" (pulling up the wooden vase from next to the bed)
Mario - "I was wondering where that went....Do you really think a hollow lightweight vase is really stopping     anyone? It's just gonna echo and bounce off their head when you hit them with it"
Me - "Look it works really well in my head. Plus I swing really hard...cause I'm strong!"
Mario - "Go back to bed...Thank god I don't have to pull all nighters very often. I was already in the house and in bed before you noticed! You were kissing me before you even opened your eyes to see who it was."
Me - "Shut it or I'll hit you with my vase!"

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