Sara-isms

Message from my mother yesterday...

Hi babydoll, I was just looking at your blog and I noticed that when you were in Tennessee you saw an Elvis stocking for me. Did you get the stocking and forget to give it to me for Christmas? I'm hoping you did and you can send it to me now because I WANT IT! Don't make me go online and buy this myself! Also, Cindy told me to put potatoes in it...

She lost me

...and it was perfect. Oh yeah, I didn't tell you about that. I put a roast in the crock pot with onions and this chipol-tee sauce and I couldn't figure out what to put in there with it and Cindy mentioned potatoes and I did and it was perfect and now I have the best leftovers for lunch this week and I'm not sharing this with Mario. I took the dogs for our normal walk and then went over to the thee-ate-ta to work and had to chase this old man back over to his show because he kept trying to wander into the show in my thee-ate-ta and he just didn't understand that he didn't buy tickets to this play and tomorrow I'm going to Walmark to pick up some toilet paper and by the way I have a ton of meat in my freezer for when we go camping for you birthday. I have tri-tip, sausages, chicken, hot dogs, hamburger, pork shoulder, blah blah blah blah....love you.... (long pause)...bye!

The woman goes on and on. I'm not entirely certain that she took a breathe the entire time she was talking. Also, this was the third message she had left me in the same day. They crack me up. She talks as if I am really on the other end of the phone. I do feel guilty though because her messages get so long that there ends up being a point when I stop listening. I actually had to go back and listen to the first part of this message again. Because I knew there was some information in there that I needed, but couldn't remember for the life of me because she had rambled on for so long.

So, really the whole purpose of her voice mail was to ask if I had bought her this for christmas and had forgotten to get it for her...

I'm not sure why she decided that I had found this in Tennessee. Except for the fact that Graceland is found there and obviously I couldn't have found this little gem any where else. Really I found the Elvis Christmas stocking in our local kmart, along with a light-up graceland. I guess I should buy them for her next christmas.

For those of you lucky to get a voice mail from my mother or if you are going camping with us next month for my birthday camping extravaganza, here is the Sara-Anne vocabulary key...because no doubt she will use all of these words at some point in your conversation...

Walmark = Walmart. Her timeshare is called Worldmark. My sister and I can only assume she mixes the two together. Although sometimes this applies to Kmark.

Theater = pronounced "Thee-ate-ta". Kinda of an english accent on there, but not really. She is a manager for a civic arts theater on the weekends. This pronunciation does not apply to movie theaters.

Marco/Mario = The first is a co-worker. The other is a son-in-law. Both names are interchangeable to her. The weekend Mario and I got married, mom got the wonderful hotel room for us. When we checked in there was a beautiful little box filled with treats for us and a card that said "Congratulations Laura and Marco on your wedding." Yup, she claims she said Mario. They just happened to make the exact same name mix up she does.

She will also talk to you about Marco, Halle, Cindy, Dushant, Sherry, etc as if you know them. No she will not explain who they are. She will just keep on talking. Feel free to stop her and ask who they are or just nod and smile, as if you know them.

She talks on the voice mail as if you are really there talking to her. She will pause for responses, laugh, and ask you questions. She is so good at this, that I have found myself responding to her.

There are definitely a lot more Sara-isms...I will add to this list later! I think one of the fun games we will have at my birthday camping extravaganza will be a a Sara-ism bingo maybe...who ever can catch all her -isms wins something...or maybe it will be a drinking game...