Stupid Things I Do

This morning I came home from taking my friend's daughter for a walk to find a whole bunch of cool stuff on my doorstep. One of the perks of being a business owner is that other businesses want you to use their product. So they give you samples to check out. I love it. So far I have only really gotten a cheesy pen with my business name on and some magnets...all of which I am very proud of.

This stuff was really cool though. The sales person spread all the stuff out on the porch. There were Godiva chocolates, paper weights, little doodads, more chocolate, and a bag with a bunch of stuff and catalogs in it. So we picked it all up, packed it in the bag and hauled the booty into the house.

We immediately broke into the chocolates and I started pulling everything out of the bag to check it out. There was a package of 5 really cute umbrellas that could have my logo on them. I opened the package to check out the colors. They were all different cute plaid patterns. I was already thinking I would be using one of them when it rained this weekend.

There was also this chocolate skull thing. Doesn't really fit my style and I can't imagine why a photographer would want to send out a chocolate skull to clients, but I'm sure it's a fit for someone's business. Of course bonehead me dropped it and it completely broke. Not my day.

I kinda perused through the rest of the stuff, noticing that some things were kinda crappy but there was still some really nice stuff also. That was when it occurred to me that I didn't know if this stuff was for me to keep...and maybe we shouldn't have eaten the chocolate. So I started looking for the note that the sales person left with the stuff. I couldn't find it anywhere in all the brochures and papers.

I finally found it stuck to the bottom of the bag. I started to feel like a complete idiot. The sales person said they left the samples for me to look at, but would be back by in an hour to talk and pick it back up. Shit. That was in less than ten minutes. So I started putting everything back in the bag and cleaning up and trying to figure out what I was going to say. I finally turned to my friend's daughter and asked if I could blame her for breaking into the chocolate...yeah I know, nice example I am. However, she's old enough and cool enough to understand and was totally willing to take the blame. Love that girl!

Just then I heard foot steps and turned around to see the sales woman walking up to the door and my stomach fell. There was no way I could blame this adorable girl. And more importantly how the crap do I explain to the lady that I'm an idiot and didn't realize this stuff wasn't mine to keep before I went and opened it. Why the hell didn't I just read the note before I went opening someone else's property!

Just then the phone rang...saving me a minute or two to come up with a story. I reached for the phone as the sales lady came in and saw the mess we had made of her samples. She turned to me ... and the third ring finally woke me up! My first thought was...thank fucking god that was a dream! I can only hope I'm not that much of an idiot in real life!