Wednesday, August 26, 2009

The Stinker Stopper

For some time my mother has been requesting that my sister and I stop using antiperspirant. This is something that I have been hearing for a while. She'll use the microwave, drink soda, and eat non-organic, but she feels strongly about antiperspirant contributing to cancer. She admits there have been no conclusive tests, but she feels it's just too coincidental that breast cancer seems to have gone up when antiperspirant became popular.

I understand where she's coming from. We do have cancer in our family. And really she doesn't ask too much from me. Keep a palm cross in your car at all times, work in what you love, and by god hurry up and have some grandchildren for me. So I didn't really feel she was asking too much with the request to stop using antiperspirant.

My sister was already on the band wagon when she last visited. She said it wasn't really a problem switching over. However, this is from the girl who forgets to put deodorant on at all most days. She's not a stinky girl either but maybe she felt a little fresher on those days she applied the under-arm-stinker-stopper. She and my mom had already this really yummy smelling deodorant at trader joes that they both loved.

I decided that I would make the switch when I was finished with the antiperspirant I was working on. In the mean time, while we were visiting my mother, I decided to give hers a try. It wasn't bad. I figure we were in mid summer helping her move, this was the perfect test! And ya know what...I smelled fresh as a damn daisy!

I made the official jump a few weeks back. I've been happy for the most part. Yes for the most part. I do feel like it doesn't last as long as the antiperspirant. So I'll apply in the morning and then if I go out, I'll apply again. Not a problem. However, I seem to have become a little untrusting and a little paranoid of the deodorant. Now don't get me wrong, I've never had a stinky day with this stuff. I really don't have any reason to feel this way. But I find myself or really Mario catches me, "checking" to see if my deodorant is working.

It doesn't bother him at home so much, but he really doesn't like when I do this in public. I try to be sly, but really when is putting your arm up and sniffing ever sly. Of course he seems to catch me every time and then snaps "I would tell you if you stunk! Put your damn arm down!"

I'm not sure where the paranoia came from. But I'm always wondering. Of course last week when we were at Disneyland while getting on the Jungle Cruise, I got a whiff of something not good. It was some serious BO. Now I know it wasn't my BO, but it kicked my paranoia into full gear. I knew it had to be from the man in front of me in line. He just happened to put his arms up and swing forward, successfully crop dusting me in his BO. Jerk. He really ruined Jungle Cruise for me. I kept having to turn away from him to breath. Sister in law was not liking me coming into her personal space for fresh air. Really the person I hold responsible for this is his wife. She knows what he smells like. I don't care if she needs to do a sneak deodorant attack on him while he sleeps, she needs to take care of that stank! Anyway, even knowing he was the offender, I spent the rest of the evening thinking that maybe you can't smell your own stank(he sure didn't or he wouldn't have crop dusted me with that swinging) and continually checked.

Is is worth being a this paranoid to keep mom happy and the cancer at bay...well when I put it that way hell yes.

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