Spiders, Spiders, and soon even more Spiders

I hate spiders. Hate spiders. I get the heebie geebies, I know they are crawling on me and my gag reflex really kicks in. I know some people are nice and will kindly move them outside, not me. I have to kill them or I will not be able sleep knowing they are walking around. I have even taken measures in hopes of not having to even have to kill them. Have someone else do it for me. I have been known to add spider killing to the list of requirements for new roommates. They laugh, and completely seriously I say "I'm not joking here. It will be your responsibility to kill any spiders". It was on my match.com profile and I made Mario agree to the spider killing in our house. Here's the problem...he's not that good at it. There's a 50% escape rate. I don't understand this. I have mastered the use of many tools in spider killing. I have found that swiffers work well. There is a nice flat area to squish and there is a long handle to keep your distance. Shoes work. Books, a broom, I've even used a plunger. This man gets toilet paper, then plays dodge and jump with the spider. Most often and effectively letting the little bastard get away.

It is now that time of year when the spiders really start coming out. I love fall with all my heart! However, there is this little part of me that dreads the arrival of fall and it's massive spiders. Being from the San Fransisco Bay Area, we had spiders. Mostly daddy long legs, black widows, and random little guys running around. I can handle them...I don't like them but am accustom to them. Well moving to Burbank introduced me to these huge colorful spiders that will spin a huge web in front of your doorway in an hour. I call them man eating spiders, because why would they have such huge webs unless they were hunting for humans. These guys don't come inside(thank god!), but getting from the front door to the garage is always a test of my will. You don't know where they've set up since you've been inside. Last fall I dodged the webs in the front yard and got into the house. An hour later Mario came home and a huge three foot web covered our door, with one of those huge spiders sitting right in the middle waiting for Mario to walk in. One hour was all it took to build this enormous web.

We live in a four-plex so instead of the house facing the street. The house is in a long line and we face the neighbor. From our door there is about ten feet of grass and a fence covered with ivy(and more spiders) separating us from the neighbors yard. Early one morning Mario called me from outside just after walking out. He was waiting for a carpool friend to pull up. So he walked to the front gate, turned around to see the web he had just walked under. This bitch had spun a web ten feet tall and ten feet across from the house across to the fence. The spider was nice enough to have made an nice archway over the walkway for Mario to walk through. But why is a web that big necessary?! What are you hunting!? It's people, that's what! There is a two year old child in the apartment next door to us. I worry for him. He's small. Those spiders can carry him right off when his mother turns her head.

With the impending spiders, I'm going to find a big spider stick. It will need to be long enough to clear the way and thick enough for defensive reasons. I hope I can survive it...can you tell I'm already dreading this?

(I tried to find a photo to post but freaked out and the gagging started...sorry no photo)