Hair Ninja

I have a dud haircut. Or the haircut I got two months ago was a dud. I know this because it has grown out into shit. I was in denial about it for a while. I knew it wasn't good, but I wasn't going to get another haircut before my sister's wedding. I needed an up-do...and I needed enough hair to do that up-do. So no hair cutting.

It was the day before the wedding when I finally came out of my denial and faced the shame that was on my head. I blew my hair out and straightened it, hoping it would help. Not a chance. It actually made it worse. I was not only made aware of the lack of layers I specifically asked for in the back, the front was COMPLETELY uneven! Dramatically so. I had no idea. Because once the haircut started looking a little funny, I automatically started just pulling it up in a pony or a clip.

When I realized that it was that off, I had to get confirmation. I walked in to my moms kitchen to show Tracy. I wanted to make sure I was seeing what I was seeing. Tracy confirmed it.

Tracy "Yeah it's pretty uneven."
Me "Argg! This haircut is crap!"
Tracy "Well, you did want to wear your hair up"
Me "I know but it sucks that I paid for this haircut...I'm never getting my hair cut with mario again. I didn't pay any attention to my hair with him falling asleep all over the place!"

Mom "Honey, what's wrong?"
Me "My hair is completely uneven. That lady really didn't do a good job cutting it. Unless one side of my head just started growing my hair way faster than the other."
Mom "Aww. Let me see..."

Before I knew it, there was a flash of movement and my mother was holding a handful of my hair! I had no idea that she had a pair of scissors in her hand. I have also never seen her move that fast before. She was like a scissor wielding hair cutting ninja!

Mom "Problem solved!"
Me "Well, I guess so. Where the hell were you hiding scissors?!"

She just smiled and walked away, Tracy just laughed...by this time in the trip she was completely used to my mother's antics, and I went back into the bathroom to see what I could do with my hair.

The upsetting part was that even with my mother taking a chunk of hair off of the long side, it is still longer than the other side.