Last weekend we spent Saturday afternoon at a friends for a pool party movie night. Lots of eating, drinking, swimming, more eating...then when the sun went down, we watched a cheesy movie on the side of the house. It's a fun time with some really nice people.
Generally it's the same people every year. Great people Mario has known since college. They are all very sweet, funny, and very laid back. I'm pretty much the newest person in the group. Every one else has known each other forever...some since elementary school. So, it's taken me some time for a few of them to really warm up to me. Well, really only one guy. I'm sure he's a nice guy...I wouldn't really know because he's never really talked to me. I'm not exaggerating here. He'll walk in give the big general "Hi", hug the people he knows, and not make any eye contact what so ever. I'm pretty sure he's guarded or shy towards new people, but I'll be honest it comes off as arrogance.
Well, after three or four years of randomly hanging out with mutual friends, he did it. He talked to me. We were both in line getting food, working our way from opposite ends of the line towards each other. I guess he finally decided there was no avoiding it, since we'd be meeting over the pasta salad at any minute.
C..."Hi, how are you?"
Me...silence...then I did the cliche look over to see who he was talking to...holy hell he's talking to me!..."Hi, great. How are you?"
C..."Oh, good good."
Me..."Good...oh this looks yummy"...then we both walked away.
I know, awkward. However, that awkward was not nearly as awkward as Mario's reaction to C talking to him. I've never heard Mario really nervously chatter. He's one of those people who can talk to anyone. He makes friends every where. However, I think he was so thrown off by C actually talking to him, that he couldn't stop talking at all.
Everyone was just finishing dinner, when C and his friend stood up and started saying their good-byes. As they made their way around the table, he said good-bye to Mario. That opened the flood gate.
Mario "Alright, man, it was going seeing you! Next time I'll bring tri-tip.
C and friend..."Oh, ok. Nice"
Mario "...yeah and I am now off the waiting list and am now approved to buy blaak! So maybe I'll bring some of that next time..."
C and friend..."Uh, I don't know what that...blaak?"
Mario..."Yeah, you know the Beakman Boys? No? Well, They bought a farm and have a lot of goats and make this cheese. It's supposed to be really fantastic. One of them used to work for Martha Stewart and the other guy works in New York still, but they are really trying to make the cheese business work...."
C and friend looked very confused now...and the only person who knew Mario's thought process was me. I knew exactly where he was going and I was cringing. You know when you meet someone from Baltimore and you say "Oh hey, my aunt is from Baltimore! Do you know aunt Suzie?"...because everyone from Baltimore automatically knows everyone else from Baltimore.
Even though Mario doesn't generally pull that. That's where he was headed now. I don't think it was intentional, but it was happening none the less. See, C and his friend are gay. So, Mario's brain said, hey they are gay, so they must know the Beekman Boys, because 1)they are also gay and 2)the one guy worked for Martha Stewart and gays love Martha. Mid way through the jabbering on and trying to explain what he was talking about, I think he realized his mistake. So, he was trying to explain the Beakman Boys without flat out saying...well they're gay, and you're gay, so I automatically thought would know them...cause the entire gay community knows each other...right?
Thankfully, C and friend didn't have a clue what Mario was talking about. And as awkward as that conversation was, it would have been more awkward had they realized that Mars was totally stereo typing them. I have no idea if anyone else was listening and had caught on to the predicament Mario had gotten himself into. I just kept thinking, well, it was a brief and awkward conversation...that will teach him to talk to us! Hopefully he'll just go back to his ignoring us now.