Friday, April 22, 2011

Where do they go?

Well, where did the spider that was previously in my shower go? This is the big question in my house still. Well, this is the question in my head. I'm afraid if I ask Mario one more time, he'll have me committed.

Let's go back a little. Sunday and Monday were spent working on my little veggie garden and Mario setting up the oh-so-awesome watering system up for my precious baby tomatoes. Working out in the backyard, I noticed there were a number of spiders. A few more than usual. I suppose it's that time of year. I dealt with it though.

That is until Tuesday morning when I walked into the bathroom to take a shower. There was a fat spider hanging out in it. So, at that point I took the best option. Screw showering. I brushed my teeth and hair and went and got dressed.

Of course, I walked out and informed Mario that there was a fat spider in the shower that required his attention. I decided this guy was a good one for Mario to take care of...he was contained in the shower after all. Less chance of the usual dancing around and loosing him.

Through out the day, as I went into the bathroom, I kept an eye on him. Yes, I had hoped that Mario would go in immediately and take care of the Fatty in the shower. Unfortunately, Mario has a totally different schedule than I do. Knowing that he was contained, I did give him until I needed to take a shower that night. I still reminded him about Fatty every time I came out of the bathroom though. I didn't want him forgetting for one minute about that stinking spider.

By that evening though, Mario still hadn't taken care of Fatty. Trying not to sound like a nag or annoying, however I'm sure failing miserably, I reminded Mario one more time about our resident.

Me "Babe, don't forget about the spider"
Mario "What are you talking about"
Me "Are you kidding me? I've told you about the spider in the shower no less than five times already"
Mario "You did?"
Me "Are we already to that point in our marriage that you have completely stopped hearing a thing I say? That really didn't take long"
Mario "No, I swear you didn't tell me"

Now we know this is a lie...this is a spider we are talking about after all. I will never forget to mention a spider. This is just proof that the man has learned how to tune me completely out. Jerk.

Me "Well, there is a fat spider in the shower that needs to be extinguished. I skipped my shower this morning because he looked at me funny"
Mario "Ok Sweets, I'll go get him" He walks off all pumped up and ready for the kill.

Then walks right back in the living room.

Mario "He's not in there"
Me "Yes he is. He's been in there all day"
Mario "Well, I don't see him"
Me "Can you please go move all the bottles and check around them."

Mario goes back into the bathroom and I hear the obligatory bottle rattling and shifting. Then he comes back out and sits back down at his computer to work.

Me "Um, get him?"
Mario "No, he's just gone. He must have just left."
Me "Babe, spiders don't just leave. He wasn't just visiting. They don't just go home. Besides, he's been stuck in the shower all day long. I don't see how he could all of a sudden learn the trick to getting out of the shower"
Mario "Well, he's not there now. So, don't worry about it"
Me "No, now I really have to worry about it. He could be anywhere in our house. He could be cruising around watching us right now"
Mario "I'm sure he just went back outside. It's ok. You can go take your shower now."
Me "Don't think so. This guy didn't hang out in our shower all day and then decide it was time to go back outside honey. What's the likelihood of him even finding the window again? That is a small window in a big room to that spider. Maybe he went down the drain? Cause I will turn the water on and blast it down the drain to make sure he's gone."
Mario "Yeah, I'm sure he went down the drain"

I'm sure he'd say anything to get me to shut up at this point. Of course, I went to check out the shower myself. I hosed down the whole shower and then took a very fast, very-aware-of-my-surroundings-shower. I don't think I closed my eyes at all for fear of Fatty sneaking up on me. "Surprise! You thought I was gone, didn't you! Ha Ha!"

I know it's been three days, but I still have my eyes peeled. He went somewhere. I want to know where. I just don't think spiders go home. I feel like I'll see Fatty again sometime...hopefully it will be when I flush that little bastard down the drain.

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