Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Bosom

I'm not sure how many of you experience boob issues like I do. The major problem being their ability to hide stuff. Some of it is deliberate...some is not.

I think most women tend to utilize our bras for extra pocket space. I tend to put my chapstick in my bra if I don't have pockets. Many of us have used the bra to hold the phone, cash, cards, lipstick. The list goes on.

How many of you inadvertently hide stuff in your bra, only to find out about it when you take your bra off that night? That's absolutely me! I'm not sure if this can be attributed to having lots of cleavage, my tops being a little too low cut, or maybe I'm just a slob. Maybe it's the perfect combination of all of those things. Who knows. All I know, is that most of the time, when a remove the torture device bra at the end of the night...inevitably something that I came in contact with earlier that day falls out from the boobs. No not small children or animals. Mostly food product or maybe even an object.

Any time I eat popcorn, I will find at least three fully popped corn kernals in my boobs. I have found an M&M...this was a nice suprise. Bread crumbs are always itchy...this might attribute to my sandwich avoidance. Lettuce, chips, rice...if I've eaten that day, I'm sure there is a remnant in between the tits.

There have been those times when I find something odd. I once found a barrette between my boobs. The missing twist tie to the bread bag was once found in my cleavage. These strange objects inevitably reminds me of the time I was talking to my sister and she reached down and stuck her finger in her bellybutton only to find a plastic clothing tag in it. Where it even came from and how it got in her bellybutton was a mystery. What I wanted to really know, was how long this plastic tag had been there. Could it have been days? She hadn't bought any new clothes recently. It will always be the best mystery ever!

Tonight's find made me feel dangerous. I didn't actually notice the object until I got into bed and noticed that there was a piece of lint between Olga and Helga. As I reached down, I saw sonething else, a stick pin...a STICK PIN! Under my boob! How tough is that!

At least it makes sense. I have been sewing a dress and in trying it on, had lost said pin into my bra. I was lucky though, this could have been painful at any point while carrying it around, removing the brazier, or getting into bed. But no, it was held safely in my bosom. Thank god I found it before I fell asleep...that could have turned out bad. Maybe this should be a lesson... 

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