Friday, August 13, 2010


Mario and I have the same phone...with the same ringtones. There are quite a few choices of ringtones,  but they're all pretty standard. When we got our phones, Mario decided that he wanted every person in his phone to have their own ringtone. Which meant that if I want to hear my phone ring, I need to use one of the few ringtones that he doesn't use. That left me with the duck ringtone. My phone quacks.

Monday I met with a friend for lunch. As we were walking back to my car, she stops and starts leaning around and looking around me. I start turning around trying to figure out what she's looking at. As I did I realized my phone was ringing, so I picked it up and just stared at her. She finally says "I hear a duck. I think there's a duck behind you. Where is it?" She was completely serious. That's when we both looked at my ringing quacking phone. "Oh, I totally thought there was a real duck." I just laughed and said "Cause there's going to be a duck in the middle of the Vons parking lot right? "

Needless to say, I've been looking for a better ringtone. Plus I don't know if I want a duck quacking while I'm talking to a client. I've been looking around for something that would work. A few years back I had the theme song from Sanford and Son...I loved that ring! It was my favorite! Part of me wants to use that one again if I could find it, but no luck so far.

While I've been looking for my own ringtone, occurred to me that the ringtone Mario selected for when I call him sucked. It's like a spooky Halloween music. I'm not sure if I should be offended really. But if you're gonna play the mean scary music for the mean scary wife, then really play it up.

So, I've been looking for a ringtone for me and Mario. I haven't found anything that tickles my pickle. However, I found the perfect ring for when I call Mario's phone. Of course they have the "your wife is calling. You must be in trouble buddy. blah blah blah" That's really not me. I rarely pull the bitch card on Mario, so it seems like a waste. Instead, I found the perfect ringtone. Of course it exudes nothing but class and respect.

Last night after Mario fell asleep, I grabbed his phone and downloaded this perfect ring. I was going to wait and call him at work, but then I remembered there is absolutely no phone reception in his office...very disappointing. I would love to have caught him in a meeting or even when it was nice and quiet. Plus, I wanted to see his face when he heard it, so I called him as he was leaving the house today.

He stared open mouthed with a slight smile on his face as the phone said...

"It's a big tittie alert, it's a big tittie alert, someone with big titties wants to talk to you, get your vitamin D!"

Yeah like I said it's all class when it comes to me. We'll see how long it takes before he changes the ringtone.

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