Sunday, June 13, 2010

New Rules

Thursday night Mario ended up pulling an all-nighter. Which meant I didn't sleep well. For a number of reasons. 

First off, let me tell you, I used happily live alone. I lived just doors down from not only a pot dealer, but a prostitute. No I'm not bragging. Honestly I didn't know she was a prostitute.(I can't for the life of me figure out who would pay for that with her) I did know about the pot dealer because he didn't hide it at all. Anyway, I had my apartment set up. I knew where to hide if needed. I had my "weapons" in spots. Ok I didn't have weapons, but I could throw my vibrator at the intruder and then run and hide in my hiding spot. The point is, I didn't worry. I slept well. I felt secure. I knew I was ok. 

Enter Mario into my life and all of a sudden I can't sleep when he's not there. The problem isn't only him and all his manlinessr, but I have caused my own paranoia. 

1) I read a lot. The book I'm reading right now is about this scary dude that comes back to this town every seven years to reek havoc and kill. Not such a good book when you are sleeping alone.

2) I've watched far too many episodes of "I Survived". Scariest show ever. True stories of horrible shit happening to regular people. Most are about bad guys breaking into homes and attacking people. In the end, these people talk about how they survived their horrible ordeal. Now, when I go to bed, all I can think about is how easily people can break into our house. So not good for when you are sleeping alone.

3) The third problem was the very loud mosquito that happened to wake me up after I finally fell buzzing in my ear. The pain in the ass mosquito had actually bitten me. However, it was the loud buzzing that woke me up. Once I was awake, I saw the huge welt on my arm from the bite. After searching everywhere for the bug and not finding it, I finally fell back asleep. Only to be woken up again with the buzzing in the ear. Lights back on. Didn't see that bug anywhere and now my arm is inching!

4) The cat running into the house with a live bird was really unneeded! Way too much drama! Bob was meowing with the bird in his mouth. The bird was squawking. I felt bad. However, I didn't want the cat letting that thing loose in our house. Somehow, I got him outside with the bird. Then jumped back in the house as fast as I could. It was really just one more thing that I didn't want to deal with. 

In the end, I think I finally feel asleep at 5am. Really it's just ridiculous. There was no reason that I should have been up all night! So, new rules. No more scary shows. No more scary books. No more mosquitoes in the house. No more cats hunting when dad isn't around. These new rules should solve all my problems. Except, I know I'll watch that stupid show again, I can't stop reading this book series, I still haven't found that mosquito(he's probably waiting to make his move), and Bob just loves me too much not to bring me home a bird for dinner. So, the new rule is that Mario isn't allowed to leave me home alone with my imagination again. 

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