How to Scare My Mother

When Mario and I visit my family in Northern California, we normally we stay with my mom. The woman has a two bedroom condo. The second bedroom is purely her sewing room. There is no sleeping in there. However, my mother is nice enough to let us use her bed and she pulls out the couch. Now, before you all think I'm a jerk for making my mother sleep on the couch, let me tell you, this is all her idea. She gets up early to take the dogs for a walk. So instead of her getting up and clomping through the living room and having the dogs jump all over us, she sleeps out in the living room. We happily oblige.

Mario and I drove up to visit my family last month. We set up in my mom's room. As we were getting ready for bed, I noticed that the headboard was feeling loose. Any time I moved, it hit the wall. Which is not only annoying for me, but I'm sure for the neighbors upstairs. I knew it was only going to get worse when Mario gots into bed...cause the man practically runs in his sleep. He is not a sound sleeper. He's constantly in motion.

So, I decided to remedy this by pulling the bed farther away from the wall. Then we got back in bed...and the headboard immediately hit the wall. Errr. So I made Mario get back out of bed and try to push the bed as close to the wall as possible. It was still hitting the wall, making noise which was making me crazy...and in turn, making Mario crazy. So I got up and turned on the light. I started looking around for something to maybe put in between the wall and the headboard. I finally decided on a towel that was sitting on the dresser. I grabbed it and just kind of folded it and draped it over the top on the headboard. It worked perfectly.

We slept silently...well with the exception of Mario's snoring and talking in his sleep. Which come to think of it, was probably louder than the headboard hitting the wall. Oh well. I felt better about the situation.

The rest of the weekend went well and we headed home at the end of the weekend happy and well slept. Well, all was well until I got a very urgent call from my mother. I answered my phone to hear her in full panic. I had no idea what was wrong. I heard the word "towel" and a lot of mumbling. I stopped her where she was and told her to slow down and tell me what was wrong.

Mom.."Well I saw the towel on the headboard and I couldn't figure out why it would be there and then I realized why it might and DID YOU HAVE SEX IN MY BED!?!?!?"

Me..."Oh my god mom! No we did not. I'm not that creepy! Your headboard kept hitting the wall and it was making me crazy, so I put the towel up"

Mom..."Oh Thank GOD!!!!"

-click-

I sat there with the phone in my hand and I couldn't stop laughing. It had never occurred to me that she might think that I put the towel up to buffer the sounds of our sexy time. I was just trying to get some quiet uninterrupted sleep.

This weekend, we drove up for my sister's birthday. Mom was away at her quilting camp*. We stayed at mom's house. She already had the towel up on the headboard for us.

(*yes there is such a thing as quilting camp and yes my mother ditches my sister's birthday every year in favor of it)