Tuesday, July 07, 2009

Pet Fish

This morning on my way out to the car, I noticed that some very generous person had left a gift for the neighbors...Two big fish. Laying on the cement. In the sun. Between ours and our neighbor's garages. The only part that makes me remotely happy about this little situation, is that I'm sure this fishy gift is for the neighbors that I don't' like. Why do I think it is for them? I feel these fish are a perfect dose of karma for yelling at their kid to shut the fuck up over and over. However, the real reason I believe it is for them is because it is closer to their garage. Yes draw a line down the middle, it's closer to them. Plus, those two fish are perfectly placed right next to the vomit splat that the neighbor's drunk friend left on the garage wall a week back...totally theirs!

What's the story with these fish? Why two fish and why right there! If they were accidentally dropped, why not just pick them up and dispose of them? If they were put there on purpose, why not a better place, like in the wheel well of their car or in one of their planters?

I was already thinking about how gross they would be by mid afternoon. However, I was also running late, so I wasn't about to throw out those fish myself. Besides it's not my mess, why should I clean up after some other asshole. I rushed out to my car hoping the cats wouldn't touch the fish.

I completely forgot about the fish while I was gone, but I spotted them again as I was walking back tonight. I was a bit miffed that no one else had cleaned them up yet. I prepared myself for the thick smell of rotten fish that the heat of the San Fernando Valley will have undoubtedly created...but there was nothing. Besides a few flies and the vomit splat, it was almost pleasant over there. Are these magical unscented fish? It's impossible that these fish aren't more nasty. Even more miraculous is that the cats don't look the least bit interested.

My real question is what should I do? I'm tempted to put a sign up for the neighbors to clean their shit up, but I feel like that would only start a problem and I don't want to end up with those fish on my doorstep. Even if it's not their mess, it's on their part of the walk. They should clean it up. We're always picking up trash that their kids throw over the fence. But this is beyond gross, even without the smell. I sure don't want to clean up these fish, they are now aged. But we live so close and I don't want to walk by this mess every time I go to the car. Do I cave and clean it up? Or do I leave it and hope the neighbors care enough about where they live to clean it up...even though I know they won't.

1 comment:

  1. Well if you wanted to be really silly.....

    You could put up a little sign that says "Free to a good home"


    Throw some lemon slices and dill on the fish and see if any takes them thinking "free Meal"


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