Friday, April 10, 2009

The Easter Bunny Arrived...via UPS

My mother loves her some Easter. My sister and I...not so much. It's not that we don't like it, it's just that we've always had to humor our mother and her crazy Easter egg hunts. My mom once showed up to my college apartment and promptly kicked us all out. This was a shock to my new roommate, who had not met her yet. My three roommates and two other friends(they had only just stopped in to say hi and were now sucked into mom's Easter egg hunt) sat outside in the dark for twenty minutes. Then she finally let us all in to the dark apartment, handed us flash lights and told us to find the three dozen Easter eggs she'd hidden around the apartment. It took a while of course, because the woman doesn't remember where she hides them and she's already had a couple of glasses of wine at that point.

Most years we can't get together, she sends a nice Easter package for me and who ever I'm living with. So this year the UPS Bunny rolls up and hands the box off to Mario. We rip into it excitedly looking for a little chocolate fix. There was no candy. However, there were two cute photo albums with price tags still on them(cause that's how mom rolls), cute chicky salt and pepper shakers, Easter towels, a cute apron, and a Easter candy jar(empty of course).

This is the conversation that we had about my Easter package...

Laura: Thank you...everything is cute
Laura: and one day you'll take the price tags off of the things you buy us
Mom: You should also know that I did not pay that price, but it looks like I did
Laura: figures
Laura: bob thanks you for the big box to play in
Mom: always
Mom: the photo albums are for your mother
Laura: what?!
Laura: they are for you?
Mom: if your heart feels like printing any photos for me
Mom: your old old mother
Mom: maybe pictures of europe
Laura: right
Mom: when we were together in Italy or the rest of the trip
Mom: I will probably like any pictures that my daughter would print for me,
Mom: starved for things that she does
Mom: pictures of my grand sons(grand cats) playing in the box
Laura: alright alright
Mom: a silent tear falls on the keyboard
Mom: then another
Laura: oh jesus

The conversation turned to the apron and towels...

Laura: Thanks for the cute apron
Laura: I was just telling mario that I need an apron
Laura: a girly one
Mom: my wish is your command
Mom: but actually that was for mario
Mom: he cooks
Mom: you don't
Mom: haha
Mom: figured the guys(Mario and my sister's bf) would like the apron and a set of towels - their choice
Laura: funny

Mom: and you could fill the bowl with candy
Laura: but you didn't send jelly beans
Mom: I was told no candy this year
Mom: sorry
Mom: the bitch spoke(the bitch would be my bossy sister, "bitch" is out of love)
Laura: all I have to put in there is motrin
Mom: sounds good to me
Mom: I would use it as a wine glass myself
Laura: I bet you would

1 comment:

  1. tell her to direct all future easter packages and egg hunts to me. it would be so much easier if someone else did the egg hunt.


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