Yesterday was my father's birthday. Every year I wake up and wish him a happy birthday. I still do, even though he passed away in 2003. I miss him so much every day and it's still a struggle to not have him here.
Mario and I have talked about getting married for the last year. My father not being at my wedding has always been hard for me to think about. With us deciding to have the wedding next month, I know I've pushed those feelings back. Staying busy with work and all the details seemed to work for a little while until my mom called last night. Mom's getting very excited about the wedding and declared last night that it's going to be the best wedding ever(at least until my sister's wedding)! Then she got serious. She and my father had been separated since my sister and I were in elementary school. His birthday wasn't something she was a part of for many many years. However, for some reason she said she woke up yesterday and said "Happy Birthday Dennis!". She said, she thought of him just then because she felt like he was there. She told me she knew that he was proud of me. She said that Mario and my dad would have gotten along so well. I know what she said was true, I feel it too but I think it's something I definitely needed to hear. Maybe that's why planning this spontaneous wedding has gone so smoothly, dad's been pulling strings on his side.
I feel for Mario also. His father passed away the year before my father did. It's one of the things that connects us. It's a loss that we both know. So I want to come up with a clever little way to have both of our dads there. Mario Sr. was a musician and I have some songs that take me straight back to hanging out with my dad. I think certain songs in our wedding will be those "dad" touches for us!
I keep looking at the photo of me at the top and dad. We do look a lot alike!