So This is What They Discuss at Quilting

"Hi Laura, it's your mother. Oooh...god I'm having too much fun here. I've been working on the health insurance at work. Anyways, had a fun time last night at quilting. We were having enjoyable time. And we were talking about the Fifty Shades of Grey... didn't know that was three books. And then there was a discussion. Nancy has decided that I'm the one that has to get rid of her "toys". They're in a Chico bag, under a pillow in her closet. Oh my god! We were having a very interesting discussion with that last night. Oh and we talked about the hunger games....blah blah blah. Love you whole bunch. Bye"

Why. Why is this a message that my mother leaves on my phone?! Why is this being discussed at quilting? Why is my mother in charge of getting rid of someone else's "toys"? And why are they in a Chico bag? Despite all my questions, I didn't call her back...I really don't want to know.

My New Game

One of the new fun games I have started to play is "When Will Mario Notice?" No, not that game that bitter wives play when they get their hair cut and get then pissed when their husband doesn't notice. This game is fun.

Mario and I tend to have the standard running list of things that we want to get done around the house...eventually. We always think it will get finished next weekend...and it tends to not happen that fast. Since I've really been getting things done around here, I finally decided to hit some of the things on our running list.

First on the list was getting some curtains up in the living room. We can not stand vertical blinds. These have the bonus of being broken vertical blinds. We had curtains and everything else we needed. So, while Mario was in class, I set out to get those bastards ironed and up on the wall! They went up easily enough. I might have had to iron them two times and they still look wrinkled, but they were up...and they looked good. It added a lot of texture and a more finished look. I was pretty happy. I knew Mario would love the curtains...I was just curious how long it would take him to notice.

I figured it wouldn't be too long. He usually comes home all excited about the things he learned in class...I know...geek! Then I figured he'd have some dinner, relax and then "oh hey look how nice!". Nope...there was competition!

Mario had ordered some gadget from Amazon and it had come in the mail. He was in love. The man walked in the house...talk, talk, talk about school...saw the box...opened it like a kid at Christmas...played with new toy...walked down the hall...came back down the hall facing said curtains the entire time...sat in front of curtains playing with toy again...went into the kitchen for some dinner...walked back from kitchen facing curtains but not seeing them because he was gazing lovingly at new toy..."You used to look at me that way" I said jokingly...shot me the look that says "I was not gazing lovingly at my new toy" which made me laugh cause he totally was. I knew there was no chance for the curtains. I would just wait and see.

He noticed two days later. I had been out for the entire day and was finally home. "Oh, honey, you put the curtains up! You must have put those up pretty early before you left this morning."
Me smiling..."No I put them up while you were at school"
Mario..."no way! I can't believe didn't notice!"
Me..."Yeah, I wondered how long it would take. It makes the place look so different. But you had gotten your new toy...and it's all you could see. You even put the toy right in front of the curtains...but you only had eyes for the toy"
Mario..."hahaha...oops"
Me..."It's alright. I was more curious how long it would take...there were bets made."

Of course that couldn't be the only round of "When Will Mario Notice". One of the things that has driven me absolutely crazy since the day we moved in this joint was the fridge. Because of the different layout of the kitchen, the fridge now opened the wrong way. This was actually pretty high on my get-er-done list. Luckily one of my friends was over. "Ever switch the door on a fridge?" Her response..."I think I'm about to learn"

Cussing, one reference to the google for a little help, the better part of an hour and one discussion about whether we could carbonate wine in our soda machine, and the fridge now opened in the correct direction. This was exciting. I was quite proud of us...hell I'm still proud of us. We didn't even empty out the fridge or freezer door before we took them off...I'm not sure if this was a benefit or not...but it's all back together and in working order. We basically switched the handles to one side and switched the hinges to the other side. I only wish there was a way to have switched the hinges and kept the handles where they were...that would have really confused the man! I couldn't think of a way of doing it without possible breaking the handle, so it I let it go. And I waited...

This time it wasn't that long. Mario came home and walked into the kitchen for a drink. I purposely stayed in the living room because I knew I would blow it and start laughing if I was in the same room as him.

I heard him reach for where the handles were and I swear I could hear the confused silence. Then..."Honey! Uh, um, the door, did, um.....you changed..."
Me trying not to laugh "What?"
Mario "The fridge door..."
Me "the fridge door?"
Mario "You switched the door. It's on the other side."
Me "What are you talking about?"
I couldn't keep it up though cause the poor man was stammering and completely backwards..."Yes I switched it. I talked Colleen into helping."
Mario knowing I've been playing my new favorite game "When did you do this?"
Me "Last week."
Mario "What! I can't believe I didn't notice! Oh my god!"
Me "I'm just kidding! We only finished half hour before you came home. It's much better, right?"
Mario "It feels so different! I actually makes the kitchen feel much better!"

I haven't figured out what round three will be...but I can't wait. He's aware of my new game, but I don't think he cares because all the odd shit is getting taken care of around here!

Happiness

I've been on a real kick lately. I've been making weekly lists and getting shit done! I spent the last few months sans list and spent more time wondering what the hell I've been doing.

Out came the list again, and I've been uber productive. Things that I have been sitting on for months are getting finished. I know...I write a blog like this at least once a year. Me surprised that writing everything out actually helps me get more finished...I can't help it, I'm surprised every time.

With so much of the odd stuff getting finished around the house and a few good size projects on the business horizon, I took the weekend off from the list. I decided I needed to get a few fun things finished. My first project was technically on my mental list. I have been looking at it every day and wondering what I'm going to do with it. Our dining room built-in...

I love it. I've always been a sucker for a cute built-in. This one is sure cute...but it's blah. Since we moved in, I have been trying to decide what I wanted to do with it. I think I had decided to line it with cute fabric or paper. I just hadn't found anything that would fit and I couldn't decide how I was going to attach said paper or fabric to the inside. Even in the shower this morning, I was trying to decide if I should just use contact paper...the only problem is that I haven't seen any contact paper that I even remotely like. So, as Mario talked about hitting home depot after lunch, I instantly decided that I was going to paint it teal.

Not only did I pick up my paint, but I picked up supplies for another project that has been gathering in my closet....aaanndd....I finally picked up two cute planters with flowers for my front porch! I have been looking for oh four months now. Yes, it's a miracle. Anyway, here is the finished project...

Ignore the yellow cast...the color is actually much more teal than the blue it's showing. I'm in love. It pops and I can actually see my glass cake plate and little dishes. Of course I had to pull my grandmother's and mother-in-law's tea cups to put out. I think there will be a few more things shifted around until it feels right, but holy heck it's finished! A really quick little change that makes me infinitely happy. I've actually been walking around the house trying to figure out if there is somewhere else I can use this color...I wonder if Mario would notice if I painted out closet teal?

He delivers again

Last Friday, Mario got ready for work as usual. Showered, got dressed, gave me a kiss, put on his shoes and headed out the door. Almost. I noticed he had missed a little something.

Mario..."Bye Sweets. Talk to you later. Love you!"
Me..."ok. Love you too....uh...were you gonna put a shirt on?"
Mario looking down and seeing nothing but chest hair and laughing "Well, it is casual Friday!"

We both laughed for a bit and then he said "No wait, I think it's Bear Day at work."

The man cracks me up. He finally put a shirt on and headed out to work. I wish I would have let him go, just to see how long it would have taken him to realize he was half naked.

Who Ya Gonna Call

One of the things I thought we had left at the old house was the ghosts. Sit on the couch long enough and you were bound to see a shadow out of the corner of your eye move across the bedroom. Recording Mario talking in his sleep, meant hearing a few extra voices in there too. What ever spirits were in that little apartment weren't mean or bad, but they sure wear on you after a while.

Moving into this apartment across town has been nice. Not just the extra space, but the quiet. It's nice being able to sleep without feeling the traffic move around the bedroom or feel like there's someone with you in the bathroom (yes, most the time it was the cat, but the feeling was still there when the cat wasn't and no it wasn't what Mario likes to call his Tijuana fog bank). The absolute quiet is probably something you wouldn't even notice unless you moved from a very "full" house, into a very quiet and empty one. It's been very, very nice. It's probably what makes this place seem that much bigger. Less souls living here.

I guess after the last apartment, I expected there to be a little something here. I had hoped not, of course. It is an older building, after all, I shouldn't be too surprised if there is something here. I expected it'd be a little while before anything made itself known. Sometimes it takes a while to get used to a place, before you start noticing the quirks.

Whether you believe in ghosts or not, it's always a shock to hear a voice with no body.

The first time I heard it, Mario and I were in the living room. Just a quick whisper of something. Kind of muffled. I immediately had a knot in my stomach. That feeling that something different is happening. Your senses feel heightened as you block out everything else that's going on around you, just to make sure you are hearing what you think you are hearing. I froze and I could see Mario heard it too. Just a few words. I wish I could have heard the words better.

We can't hear the neighbors talk at all through the walls. We can hear them walking, but no talking. Sometimes, we can hear people walking on the sidewalk in front of our apartment, but this wasn't what I heard. It was from the middle of the living room. Luckily, Mario and I were on the way out, so we could walk away for a bit.

Me "You heard that didn't you?"
Mario "Yeah, I heard it"

Believe it or not, by the time we had gotten back, we had forgotten about it. Days passed and I hadn't even thought about it. Until Mario woke me up one morning and told me he had heard something in the middle of the night. He had woken up to use the bathroom and came back to bed. As he laid back, he heard a voice on my side of the bed. He said he heard a woman talking. At first, he thought it was someone trying to jimmy our window open. Then as he stood up to go over, the voice stopped and he realized there was no one at the window.

That scared me. One of the creepiest things I can think of is someone standing over me while I sleep! I do not like it in any way, shape, or form! This situation wasn't looking any better than the last apartment. I was a little bummed. At least this didn't seem like a mean or vicious spirit. It honestly was fairly happy sounding. I can live with a happy ghost. We had one angry ghost at the last place...not mean, just a grumpy guy. The rest were nice enough. One even told me to turn out the light on one of the recordings of Mario. You could hear Mario snoring, you could hear me flipping the pages on my book as I read, and then clear as day, very close to the microphone you could hear "Turn out the light" in a loud whispery voice. I still get chills thinking about it.

I kind of resolved myself to living in another apartment with a few extra spirits living here. We'd just see how it went. So, it was a freeze-where-you-are, drop-what-is-in-your-hand-moment, when I heard a woman right next to me in the bedroom say "Shoe, Shoe!" in a sing songy kind of way. You know that jolt you get when someone jumps out at you? I jolted, froze, and then said some bad words. Then some more bad words.

Because it was a nano second after that, that I realized what it was. What we had been hearing for the last week. What had been scaring the Holy Hell out of us! It was a stupid game on the ipad! A game I had downloaded, looked at, and then forgotten to delete when I realized how lame it was. That bitch was randomly yelling "Shoe, Shoe!" to remind me that she was still there in my ipad waiting for me to boss her around!

What I heard in the middle of the living room...was a muffled "shoe, shoe!" from the ipad that was buried in the bottom of my purse sitting on the couch. The voice Mario heard in the middle of the night was "Shoe, Shoe!" from the ipad charging on the floor next to our bed. The voice that I heard right next to me in the bedroom was the ipad sitting on my dresser as I bent over to make the bed. I even jumped this morning when the little twerp yelled "Shoe, Shoe!" as I was trying to get a pair of panties from my dresser.

Maybe it's a lesson. A reminder to appreciate the quiet that we have now. Or maybe it's a lesson in not downloading every free app that comes my way. Either way, I will take any of those lessons over a noisy ghost that yells "Shoe, Shoe!" all the damn time!

I swear he does this stuff just so I have something to write about

Mario and I chatted as he was getting ready for work this morning. He reached inside the top drawer of his dresser and pulled out some lotion and started lotioning up his feet. The man wears flip flops full time and gets a bit rough...ok the man gets hobbit feet.

When he finished, he leaned over and gave me a kiss and got up to leave.

Me... "Babe, your forehead is a bit dry. You should put a little lotion on there too"
Mario... "Let me look to see of this lotion is for faces also. I bought it for my feet."
Me..."I don't think it sould be a problem. It's just lotion"
Mario pulling the lotion out and reading it "Natural Instincts Color Conditioning Treatment...well it doesn't say I can't put it on my face."
Me..."Mario that's hair conitioner!"
Mario ..."What? No."
Me..."Is that what you were smearing all over your feet?"
Mario "Yes, Well thats ridiculous! It looks identical to the lotion!"

 Then he reached in his drawer and pulled out the real lotion.

Mario..."Yup they're identical!"

 It took a while for us to recover and thats when he tried to blame me for his putting the hair conditioner in his drawer...therefor putting conditioner on his feet.

Mario..."How Long has that even been in there? Must have been in there for a long time!"
Me..."No Thats the conditioner from when I colored my hair last Friday night. You can even see the hair color on the bottle"
Mario... "Why would you put that in my drawer?"
Me..."I didn't. I left it on the kitchen sink."
Mario..."How did it get in my drawer then?"
Me..."Because you are like a crow! You see shiny things and hide them away! You can't stand to see things out and if its small enough you hide it in your top drawer. There is all kinds of crap in your drawer."
Mario..."I'm a crow? I did not put this in my drawer."
Me..."You hoarded it like a crow or a weasel."
Mario ..."I prefer weasel."
Me..."Go rinse your feet then weasel."
Mario..."Don't need to. My feet soaked it in and are soft sultry now"

Butthead

I need to revisit something I'm sure I've written about previously. Mario's thievery. Twice in the last week Mario has stolen my towel. The first time was early in the week. He had decided the day before that the towel he was using was dirty and he needed a new towel. So, he threw his towel in the laundry...and then forgot to get a new towel for the next morning. Keep in mind that the linen closet is right outside the bathroom door. The man could take one step out grab a towel and then get to drying. However, this is never the option he chooses. He instead uses my towel to dry off. Before I start sounding like a winy brat, let me explain. There are usually three towels on the back of the bathroom door. A big towel for Mario's drying needs, a big towel for my drying needs, and a small towel I wrap my hair up. I really wouldn't mind if the man used my big towel to dry off, however that's never the towel he chooses to steal. He always grabs the small towel I use for my hair. He drys all his manly bits and his man crack, then hangs my towel back up and says nothing. So, when I get out of the shower grab my towel, it's only when I get on my head, that I notice that it's damp and has been previously used. This is also when it occurs to me that he's been drying his butt with it...I know he is clean from the shower, but it's the principle! Of course I mention this to Mario. He just apologizes and that's that. What I really want to know is why he doesn't just get a new towel out of the linen closet? If you can't get a new towel out of the linen closet then why not use the normal size towel that is right there hanging next to the small towel? Why the small towel? Does he think a smaller towel equals a smaller offence? When laundry day came later in the week, I washed all the towels. I made sure to hang up three towels on the door ready for our showers the next morning. Little did I know, that I had made a crucial mistake. Mario's towel is always on the same spot on the back of the door. His towel is always on the right side. My towels always on the left. It's nothing we planned, but I figure, why confuse the situation by moving towels around each day. There are times we use the same color towel, it's easier if we just stick to our own sides. Don't worry, I didn't change his towel spot on the the door. However, I did put up a towel that we don't normally use. Because it was in the normal spot, I didn't see this as a problem. Three clean towels on the door. The next morning when I got out of the shower and wrapped my towel around my head, it was already damp. What the hell? I felt the towel that I had put up for Mario and it was dry. Are you kidding me? Luckily he was still home. So I confronted him...yes I did. Me..."Mario, you used my towel again!" Mario..."Sorry, babes" Me..."Why'd you use my towel again?" Mario..."Cause I didn't know which towel to use" Me..."Your towel is always in the same spot. You could have asked. I was just in the next room." Mario..."Yep, could have. Sorry." Me..."I think I need to tell you the importance of this towel" Mario...blank look Me..."you know there are always three towels hanging up. Your towel, my towel, and my hair towel. The smaller towel is my hair towel." Mario...blink Me..."I use this towel to dry my hair. You just used it to dry your butt and balls" Mario..."yes I did" Me..."that makes me a butthead" Mario..."Yes it does!" Me..."I just washed this towel from the last time you made me a butthead. That's twice this week you made me a butthead" Mario..."Yes!" Me..."Jerk...I don't care if you use my big towel, but don't touch the small towel!" Mario..."butthead" I think he does this on purpose.

I don't like to come back with a negative post, but mama needs to vent!

I photographed an apartment for a friend last week. Very nice people, very cute little apartment. I did the work and as a favor to her, I posted their apartment for rent on to Craigslist and another rental site. It's easy stuff and I was happy to do it.  On Monday, I decided to check in and see if they were getting calls. She said they had gotten a number of calls over the weekend, but it was like Goldie Locks and the Three Bears...it's too small, it's too big, it's too expensive. No one was a fit.  It's now Tuesday and she's decided that the listing is not on Craigslist. This is obviously not true considering she got a number of phone calls. She went online to check, didn't immediately find said listing, so assumed it wasn't on Craigslist. I got multiple phone calls and emails from her, then she decided that it was emergency status and had a mutual friend call me AND Mario. This is a little out of control. This all happened while I was taking a shower this morning. I finished getting dressed, took care of another client issue, then started making sure all postings were up and running. They were. Just to make sure the listing was on the front page, I renewed the previous listing and made a second listing. I then sent her the links in an email and called and left her a message.  I have been getting messages all day long!!! Phone calls, text messages, messages in games, and through mutual friend. This is out of control! She cannot find any of the listings. I have no idea where she is looking. I finally took a screen shot with both listings highlighted on the front page as proof that they are online and emailed it to her. Only to get another message saying she cant find them.  It's now 1:45am and I just got another message. I just responded to her by letting her know I've done all I can. If she doesn't believe they are online, she would be better off posting them herself. I also told her that she should consider lowering the rent if she's not getting any hits.  I don't like the feeling that I'm to blame at all! I also don't like how it went into emergency status so fast! Take it down a notch! I'm a photographer, not a real estate agent. I've done what I said I would and have triple checked to make sure it's all correct. The number one reason a house doesn't sell is it being priced too high. I think this is the problem here. Rental price is too high.  I understand they need this rented quickly. I'm sure it's easier to take their frustrations out on me, than it is to make adjustments to ensure their property rents. All I want to do is tell them to bugger off...but I know I'll make sure this gets taken care of...damn me and my niceness!!

You know It's Time To Go on a Diet When...

Mario is at a convention this weekend. So it's just me and the dog, while Mario runs around a comic convention with friends. I'm actually pretty excited really, I am going to hang out with the pup and work on some sewing while Storm Watch 2012 hits southern California (otherwise known as regular old rain everywhere else).

Last night Mario decided to see if there were any cheap hotels close by the convention and found a (hopefully) nice cheapie hotel to share with a few friends. This means he won't have to drive the hour back home each night. Which, in turn means, much less worry for me about Mars driving late at night after a long day...but this also makes me miss him. So, I decided it was only fair to make him miss me.

After a long week at work, Mario came home last night exhausted. So, as he snoozed on the couch and cuddled with the pup, I decided to surprise him and pack his bag. Then he can just get into bed and not worry about it. A swimsuit for the hot tub, tennis shoes, shorts, undies, shirts, and most importantly...Earplugs for his buddies! With all his clothes and his toiletries packed up, I decided to write him a saucy letter...

Dear Sugar Pants, 


I'll miss you so much. Have fun with your friends and at the convention. I appreciate everything you do for us. Here's a little something from me...I'll wear it for you when you get home. (Blah blah blah more mushy and naughty stuff)


I love you lots,
Wifey


PS...I'll even miss your sleep talking and your sleep ninja fighting.

Then I went to my panty drawer to find something sexy to wrap the letter in. Maybe those new black lacy panties...hmm...no...where did that number with the writing on the butt go...no...I know, where is that cute thong in here...hmmm that's not really what I'm looking for...there's got to be something cute and sexy in here... nothing was right...as a matter of fact everything looks huge! It's not sexy if he's going to pull out a pair of panties that are GINORMOUS!!! Holy hell! When did my cute little panties become so big! Now what am I going to wrap the note in? A nighty is to much fabric...I know a bra! The red lacy one...yeah he likes that one...then I held it up...still ginormous...at least a big bra means big boobs though. So, I wrapped up the letter and put it in his bag under a shirt he'll wear tomorrow.

If it all works out he'll come home Sunday ready for sexy time...and in the mean time he can use my ginormous bra as a back pack to carry crap around the convention.

Walls

Mario and I are really enjoying our new place! It's one of those places that we just like to hang out at. Which means we have become homebodies. Don't worry we are not complete shut ins...we just like our new digs a lot. Mario works all hours of the day and night, so I think he just likes to be out of work some times. I'm sure that makes home popular by default. I, on the other hand, am just a dork who enjoys spending time at home doing random crap, working and hanging out. I have always been a homebody. I just happen to enjoy this home a bit more! More space, better energy, better neighborhood. What's not to love!

One of the things we didn't do at our last place was make it totally ours. From the moment we moved in, we always knew it was temporary. It was small and we figured we'd only be there for a short while. So, we never really put a lot up on our walls. I was a photographer with no photos up. Mario was an artist with no art up. Why put stuff on the walls, we'll be moving soon enough. Five years later, we still didn't have much up.

We decided this apartment would be different. We were going to put shit on the walls, even if it meant that we were moving in a month! Of course we are not moving in a month. The point is, we need to make it ours and really enjoy it. Yes, it is still a temporary place for us. We will likely live here until we buy a house...how ever long that takes. We just need to make it exactly how we want it now. Which means that things went up on the walls before we even had our couch in place.

Here are my favorites so far...

This is in the dining room. I have had the little woven plate and bowl in storage since I met Mario. Mom, Lindsay and I each made some when we were in Maui. I put them up with Mario's little coo coo clocks that I'm in love with. It's random but I just love it!

This little set up is just inside the front door. I had seen an expensive version on Pintrest, and decided I could do something similar with what we had. The basket we had, the artwork was done by my grandmother's brother of a building in Germany and the broom is my ride. The rest is Ikea. I think some more will go on that wall. I have a quote I want to put up still, but I love the start!

This is in our hallway. It's just a happy random grouping of strange shit. It started with Mario walking around the apartment trying to find a place to hang the boxes...to Mario realizing that he could use the boxes cover up the eyesore of a thermostat in the hallway. I think I love this the most. Yes it covers the thermostat (points to those of you that can find it) but it has all these important little doo-dads on it. Cameras that my dad and I bought, my first shoes that my mom finally gave to me, The elephant from the first time Mars and I went to the LA zoo, a piece of Mario's dad's violin and his metronome, a train whistle Mario bought be for my birthday at Travel Town, a couple of turtles my dad collected, a few trinkets from Mario's sister and a photo of my sister. It's been fun seeing the transformation of it. It started out completely different and has changed and rearranged into this random fun area in our hallway.

It makes me happy to have stuff on the walls. It makes it ours. There is still a big wall in the hallway, the dining room, the living room and some bedroom wall space to work on, but we are already ahead of the game compared to our last apartment. We are determined to make it a place we love to look at and be in. After the last apartment, I think we tried the best we could to make it ours, but I don't think we ever could after a certain point. A small part of that was artwork, but most of that was loosing the feeling of safety. This time we make it ours from the beginning.

Once the girls went up on the wall, we knew it was home!