Water Blogged

Slacker

2012-02-07T22:56:00.000-08:00

I've been catching some hell for not having blogged in forever. I really do deserve it. There have been times over the last month, when I could have stopped and popped out a blog for you...but I didn't. I apologize. I miss blogging and telling all the funny and strange crap that happens.

A lot has happened over the last two months. Mom moved into a new condo, my sister-in-law moved into a new home, and finally...FINALLY...we moved off of gangster street! Hallelujah and amen! We moved into a cute apartment across town. Slightly bigger but with a lot more closet space, a dedicated kitchen and an area for my grandmother's dining table. I have missed having my grandma's table...It's been 7 years since I had to put it in storage. Anyway, there are a lot of great things about this place. Over all it has a much better feel. I didn't realize how much nicer it felt until we went back to the old neighborhood to pick up our mail. Wow, what a difference!

Part of the reason it's taken so long to get settled has been because of our cats. At the end of December we took in a stray dog. Very sweet and loving. A tiny thing really. However, us bringing this tiny thing into our house pissed off the cats. Dexter who has forever been our outside wild guy, took off. It's not unusual for him to take off really. He's always been our roamer. He's not ours, as much as we're one of his favorite food stop offs and a little affection. Bob took off a week later. Bob missing is very odd. Mario heard him meowing the next morning but couldn't find him. I'm not sure if someone took off with him, took him in or a coyote got him...hopefully it was one of the first two.

It's been over a month now and it's been so hard. I know the 5 local pounds far more than I ever thought I would, I've handed out fliers door to door, hung my clothes out for them to smell, took the dog to my in-laws for a few weeks and even consulted a psychic. I can only hope that they come home or have found someone to treat them well. I have to admit I am the jealous type though...I want my babies back. So, I keep looking. After making it a full time job for the last month, I realized that I just have to wait and see what happens. I will still hand out fliers and look, but it might be up to them to come home or someone to let them out.

One thing I have to appreciate is how good people can be. One of my friends has been there every step of the way. Handing out fliers, going to the pound with me time after time, putting up with my crying and has just been there for me in general. With Mario working sooo much, I can't have imagined dealing with this by myself. I owe her so much. Other friends and my family have really been there also, listening to me cry and letting me talk it through. One of the biggest surprises has been the people in the neighborhood. They have been so nice! So many people wishing me luck or calling because they saw a cat, or just saying they'll help keep an eye out. I guess I didn't expect so many people to be so cool. They really have been nice. I guess I've been so used to people with bad attitudes on our old street, that I didn't expect so much understanding about my missing cats.

So, I'm finally trying to get my life back to normal. I'm doing what I can to get my cats to come home, but we really needed to get our new apartment functional. It's taken until now really to get this place in any semblance of order. Mario and I spent the weekend getting through the last of the boxes and moving things around. It's definitely closer to where it needs to be. Which means that I will hopefully be spending more time blogging.

Here's our little Tula. Our tiny little rat who scared off two cats that were easily twice the size of her.

Mom's New Job

2011-12-06T22:00:00.000-08:00

This weekend Mario and I drove up to the Bay Area for my cousin and her husband's 25th anniversary party. It was a blast. A nice sit down dinner, a bartender, a DJ, a photo booth and a photographer to document...me.

Since I would be photographing the party, it only made sense to bring the photo booth up with us. The more practice we get, the more we can really improve this bitch. When we initially talked about me shooting the party, Jenn was a little unsure if she wanted the photo booth. There was going to be a good amount of people packed into her house and deck. We weren't sure if there would be room and if it would be more stressful. I understood. Bringing it up meant a lot more responsibility for us also. I didn't want anyone...mostly me or Mario to be stuck sitting with the booth, when he could be enjoying the party. Of course, once my mother found out that Jenn was unsure about using the photo booth, she made it her job to convince Jenn and Bob to have the it at the party.

On Thanksgiving, I got the call from mom letting me know that she had single handedly convinced them to have the photo booth at the party. Good job mom. I let her know it was now officially her job to get every one at the party into the photo booth.

And do you know what...the woman did her job! She pretty much tackled them at the front door and herded them into the little room the booth was set up in. She told them they had to take a photo now and then again when they were drunk. They all looked scared at first, but most did what she said. When they looked really terrified, she gave them a few minutes to get a drink in and come back for their photos.

She did a great job! She got people in there again and again. And when she had conquered getting everyone into the photo booth, she moved on to serving. I was mingling with a few people when my mother walked up with a tray of asparagus.

Mom "Care for a asparagus with some shit around it? It's good."
Me "Found a new job? and yes I'll have one."
Mom "They needed help."
Me "I'm sure they're thrilled with you offering asparagus with shit around it...they are good though. Now get back to work."

I think she found her new calling. She was having a blast bossing people around and socializing. I heard on more than one occasion "Jennifer, your aunt is hysterical!" or "Jenn, your aunt is crazy! I love her!" I suppose she was better off keeping busy, cause when she wasn't, people would hand her shots of tequila and she'd take them. My mother doesn't do hard liquor. Not to say she doesn't drink, the woman has blood type Pinot Grigio. She loves and sticks to wine. But one of Jennifer's friends fell in love with my mom at Thanksgiving and so they were doing shots.

About the time she took the fourth shot, the first three seemed to hit. She wobbled up to Lindsay and told her she was tired and wanted to go back to the hotel. The best part of Jennifer's party was the limo she had on stand-by to take everyone back and forth to the two local hotels and homes for those who live close. Lindsay put mom in the limo and sent her off, telling her to make sure she holds onto a wall when she walks to the room. In return mom told us to stay away from Isabelle..."She'll make you drink shots! Stay away from her! She's cool." Yes, mother.

Mom made it back to the hotel just fine. By the end of the night the rest of us were exhausted. We had a blast. Mom did a great job herding and serving people. She was in her element. I felt great with the photos I took and the photo booth was an absolute hit. It ran well and I even handed out a few business cards to people who were planning parties...hopefully I'll get some work up there too. Either I'll let mom run it or I'll cruise up for the party.

One thing I really loved about the photo booth was the progression of the photos. From sober to sloppy drunk. Right in the middle is the queen...I'm not sure after what shot of tequila she took these, but I love it! I might have to frame it for myself.

Conversation with My Mother

2011-12-05T23:54:00.001-08:00

Mom "We need to talk to Laurie about staying in one of her cabins at Christmas"

Me "Yeah that would be a good idea"

Mom "I don't want to stay in the dork though"

Me "I think you mean Yurt, mom"

Mom "dork, yurt....I don't want to stay in it. I want to stay in the cabin."

Me "What's wrong with staying in the dork?"

She continued on talking. My sister's response when I told her..."Well, she's got it kind of close. There is an "R" in both words."

How my sister single-handedly ruined Mario

2011-11-28T01:54:00.001-08:00

Lindsay and I were raised to take care of our own belongings. If we wanted to bring something with us somewhere, we were completely in charge of making sure that belonging came home with us at the end of the trip. It was actually a pretty strict rule in our house. Mom will not carry your shit when you get tired of holding it...so really think about what you are bringing with you.

I still follow the rule out of habit. I don't want to carry other people's shit if I don't have to. Hence the reason I never make Mario carry my purse. I do recall Mario offering once or twice to carry it...I think Miss Ex might have made him carry her purse a time or two, but I immediately declined the offer. If I didn't want to carry it, I shouldn't have brought it.

This is probably the reason I can't stand when girls make their men carry their purses. I understand the quick hold to try something on. I understand you are trying to put your jacket on or have to use the restroom. I do not understand why you own a purse and brought it with you, only to make your man carry it every where for you.You decided to bring that shit...you carry it. If you didn't want to hold it, you shouldn't have brought it. It's amazing how often I see it really.

Now cut to when Mario and I were dating. We had just moved in together and were walking around IKEA looking for storage ideas. I had grabbed one of their great big blue bags for shopping. I had put all the little goodies that we would be purchasing in the bag and decided my purse could also go in the big bag. We were about half way through the store and still had four more hours to go before we made it out safely...doesn't it seem that way at least? It was about this time that Mario noticed that I had been carrying everything. He nicely offered to carry the bag.

I started to hand the bag over, and then paused. "I wouldn't mind not carrying it, but let me get my purse out first."

Mario "It's fine in the bag. I've got it."

I happily handed the bag over and was enjoying the freedom of not having to carry a thing. We strolled around for another ten minutes, when I heard my phone start ringing.

Mario opened the big blue bag for me to search for my phone. Of course, my purse was at the bottom...with lots of crap on top...and tangled in the new towel bar and hooks we would soon be purchasing...I finally got my purse open...pulled out the phone...and answered on the last ring...

Me "Hello?"

Lindsay "Hey, what's going on? Why'd it take so long to answer?"

Me "Oh, we're at Ikea looking around and I couldn't get to my phone"

Lindsay "Why couldn't you get to your phone?"

Me "Does it matter?"

Lindsay "I want to know."

Me "Well, Mario had it in the bag he was carrying"

Lindsay "Mario was carrying your purse?"

I knew where this was headed "He offered to carry the big bag and my purse was in it, so yeah he was carrying my purse."

Lindsay "Laura, take back your purse and hand him back his balls!"

Once that sentence was uttered, the man has since refused to carry or even remotely hold my purse in any way. The universe had changed in his favor and my sister now had his back on something and he was fully going to take advantage of it! He has since avoided my purse like it actually has the ability to remove his balls itself. A simple thing like asking him to hold my purse while I put on my jacket is ridiculous.

Me "Here can you hold this for a minute, babes?"

He stares at my purse like it's dirty and covered in blood.

Me "Mario, I just have to put on my jacket. One minute tops. What is the problem?"

He lets out a long dramatic sigh and holds it with one finger making sure to keep it away from his precious balls.

Me "Thank you, honey. I know it takes a little more of your manhood every time you have to touch the purse, but I think you'll live."

To get him to hold my purse while I go to the bathroom is far too much drama. If he does, it's a huge fight. "Mario, there is no place to hang my purse in that bathroom, please hold it for five minutes. I don't want to put it on the ground" I usually get the dramatic, put out, eye roll...followed by something about his shrinking man-hood. If he does hold it, he holds it like it has the plague. I've actually come out of the bathroom to see him holding it away from his body. He's a bit on the dramatic side if you ask me.

He's not really to blame though...I fully blame my sister. He came fully trained in purse holding when I met him. He was totally fine carrying my purse for a minute or holding my purse, before my sister ran her mouth off. She's completely ruined him and there's no going back! If this is men's lib...I want none of it!

And Then There's Pay Back

2011-11-22T21:00:00.000-08:00

As much as I bug Mario with my dipshits, he pays me back. He has one special way of making me crazy and it never fails.

It's normally after a nice lunch or dinner and I realize that we need to stop by Target for a few essentials. We get our cart. Just start to walk through a few isles. Pick up a few items on the list. That's when it happens.

Mario "We have to go home."
Me "What are you talking about, we just got here"
Mario "We have to go home now."
Me "What's the problem"
Mario leaning in "I have to go to the bathroom. We need to get home."
Me "No way. We just got here. I still have stuff on the list to get. Use the bathroom here"
Mario "Look we have to go home. I can't do this here."
Me "Babe, people do "this" here all the time. Just go use the bathroom."
Mario "I don't like that bathroom. I want to do this at home."
Me "By the time we finish shopping, pay, and drive home, it will be too late. You'll have crapped yourself. Just go to the bathroom."
Mario "If we leave now, I'll be ok."
Me "This is ridiculous. You do this every time we come here."

Sometimes we rush home. Sometimes he relents and just uses the bathroom. But it's the same conversation every. single. time. He knows I like my time at Target. I don't need to look through every isle. I don't need to spend hours there, but I don't want to be rushed by his butt either. Why agree to come here, if you're just gonna need to rush out. And what is it about this place that makes you have to poop?

It was no different this weekend. We had dinner and then headed over to get some desperately needed toothpaste and soap. We had actually made it three quarters of the way through the store, when Mario got his "DOH!" face. I knew it was going to happen.

Mario "We have to go home."
Me "No, you do this every time. Go use the bathroom."
Mario "No, I don't like those bathrooms."
Me "What's the problem? They were just being cleaned when we came in."
Mario "I just don't like to go to the bathroom here."
Me "Go!"
Mario "Fine!"

Mario stomps off....but somehow comes back looking relaxed and happy not more than a few minutes later. He couldn't have made it all the way to the front of the store and finished his business. Don't tell me he crapped himself. He must have seen the look on my face.

Mario "If I keep moving, I don't have to go to the bathroom anymore"
Me "Are you kidding me?"
Mario "No, if I keep walking at a certain speed, I don't have to poop"
Me "That's ridiculous"

I pretty much spent the rest of the time puttering around trying to find out how slow I needed to go to torture him. I'd distract him in the kitchen department with cool gadgets...then wait for the "OH! Gotta move. Hurry. gotta move!" Every time I heard it, the giggles would start. Why the man couldn't just go to the bathroom, I don't know. At least I found the humor this time, but why can't the man just go use the bathroom! He's not one of those people who has problems going to the bathroom places.

As we paid for our goods, I watched Mario dance around just twenty feet from the men's bathroom. This man is a dork! We walked to the car at his "special speed" and once in the car I started to ask about this Target bathroom aversion.

Me "So, what's the problem with the bathrooms here? You have no problem leaving your mark on other institutions...what's the problem here?"
Mario "I just don't like it"
Me "It can't be that dirty. The ladies bathroom is usually ok. I can't imagine the men's room is that much worse."
Mario "It's really not dirty at all. I just don't like it."
Me "How?"
Mario "I don't know. It's kinda creepy."
Me "What do you mean creepy? Like it feels like there's a ghost in the bathroom?"
Mario "Yes. I don't like it. It's not conducive to proper poopping"
Me "So, you're afraid of the bathroom ghost?"
Mario "Yes."
Me "You're strange."
Mario "You try pooping with a ghost right there."
Me "Why don't you just use the single bathroom by the pharmacy? it's private there, no ghosts."
Mario "There's a bathroom by the pharmacy! That's perfect! I can just go by myself! Next time I'll use that one and swing my feet around in happiness!"
Me "You're weird, but so long as you let me shop at Target without your poop issues I'll be happy. I'm glad we worked through this issue. You were making me crazy."

Breaking up...

2011-11-18T02:10:00.001-08:00

continued

We fought to make it work...but we ultimately knew it wouldn't. I knew Saul had gotten to Colleen when her tough cop character was talking about the yard. She had planned a garden, a bbq and already had the fire pit going! I was eating delicious avocados from the yard and collecting tomatoes from the garden colleen had planted. That smooth talking Saul had us! Damn that irresistible smile of his!

As we took the "long" way home, I knew I was going to have to call Saul and tell him we weren't going to take the house. I felt guilty for lying to him. I honestly did hope that Mario would see the little house and somehow see a little glimmer of hope for the place. But it just didn't make sense to take him all the way out there for a place that just wasn't right for us.

When I got home, I explained it to Mario the situation. I was honest and told him that the house wasn't right for us, but that I had made an appointment to go back out and see it. Mario was completely confused. I told him he didn't understand how nice Saul was. Colleen and I knew that once Mario met Saul, they would be best friends. Of course Mario wasn't going for it at all. He didn't want to hear about Jon Pierre, Jacqueline Michelle, or John Paul Jr "The baby"...Saul's three adult kids. He wasn't interested in hearing about how close the house was to In and Out Burger or Walgreen's. He wasn't interested in Saul's pro tennis player son. Or how he'll hand the buildings he owns to them. He simply didn't see the point.

There was nothing left to do but to call and break up with him. I steeled myself and dialed his number

Me "Hi Saul, it's Laura"
Saul with his nondescript accent "Well, hello Laura. How are you today?"
Me "Great thanks! How are you today?"
Saul "Oh just thinking of you."

Me "uh, oh, how nice"...awkward!

Saul "When are you coming back out to see me?"

Me "well, that's why I called. We won't be able to come out. We decided to stay closer to Burbank"

Saul "Ah, I see. Well, I understand. I thought you would be the perfect tenant for my castle"

Me "Oh, I'm sure we would have been. I'm sure you'll find someone who will be perfect."

Saul "I hope so! But they won't be you!"

Oh that flatterer! As awkward as it was, he still knew how to work the charm. I was a little bummed but relieved too. I can only imagine he's one of those managers who just "pops" by...especially with a sorority out front.

Colleen and I will always hold a special place in our heart for Saul. I like to think that I let him down easy. We didn't get too serious before we broke up with him. Had I introduced Mario into the situation, it would have been a very tough breakup. I think we got out at the right time.

The Hunt

2011-11-18T00:42:00.001-08:00

One of the fun parts of looking for a new place to live, is actually checking out the apartments. It's the same thing I love about being a real estate photographer. It keeps the voyeuristic part of my personality happy. (This reminds me of a guy I went out on a date with once. I explained just that. I like to check out homes and apartments. That's why my job as a real estate photographer is so perfect for that little part of my voyeuristic personality. He took that to mean I liked to watch people having sex and kept bring it up and asking me about watching people...that was the last date I went out with him.) Anyways, I love looking inside houses and apartments! I suspect this is why Colleen and I get along so well. We have spent a number of hours in the car taking the "long" way home. Just so we can look at houses and hope to catch a glimpse inside. Sometimes the "long" way home takes 20 minutes. Other times that "long" way home takes 2 hours. We will get lost just trying to find a new pretty route with pretty houses. We've pulled over for yard sales just to check out a house and we have gone to open houses to look inside. I always love deciding who between the two of us is looking for a new house and what our budget should be at this house..."One million budget for today or just 600,000? I think you and Dave need a five bedroom house for you and your triplets" You gotta have a good line or the agent won't take you seriously people.

So, it's perfect that she would be the one to come with me to look at apartments when Mario can't. I walk around decorating in my head and try to decide where my sewing and craft station will go. I seem to completely forget any and all questions I should be asking and generally walk away with more questions than I started with. She generally plays the bad cop...she is also the more level headed one. It ends up working out though. She is the one, after all, who pointed out that there was a hole in the wall and could see the outdoors from where we were standing in the living room/dining room/bedroom, while we were checking out a nice "guest house" (otherwise know as a shitty pool house).

On Monday, I called to look at a guest house. I spoke with the owner Saul. He was stern on the phone, so I didn't know what to expect from him as a landlord. I honestly had written him off. I felt like it was a little too far away and a little too good to be true...but the voyeur in me thought we should look anyway. A guest house in San Marino....way too good too be true!

Tuesday, Colleen and I headed over to San Marino. We headed towards it, drove through it, and then out the other end to Alhambra. To where I didn't want to live. We still pulled in though and searched for ten minutes trying to find Saul. The front house appeared to be a sorority house inhabited by girls who didn't know how to answer the front door when we knocked. No I am not being snide. She actually told us that she didn't know how to open the door...they used the side door. She did however point us in the direction of Saul.

We walked back to the tiny house, then around the corner to the huge private yard! There sat Saul at a folding table doing a little work. He did look stern. He introduced himself and told us to take a look around. As voyeurs do, we looked and snooped. We checked out every door and nook. It was a confusing little hobbit hole. It was old and dark. Off the kitchen there were four rooms. The living room, a room with a toilet, a room with a sink, and a room with a shower. It was interesting, but nothing grabbed me.

When we walked back out, Saul said "What do you think of your castle?" That's when he had us. Stern Saul ended up being the sweetest man I've ever met. He used the stern to get a feel for people. If he figured you were good people, he opened up and let you in. A nice accent and the warmest smile you'll ever see. Saul was a very proud father, a hard worker, and quite a flirt. He woo'd Colleen by calling her the smartest person on earth for using the bus as transportation. He woo'd me in with talk of lemon and avocado trees. Then when he knew he had us, he turned into the flirty touchy guy. We talked of travel, college and the importance of continued learning. We discussed smart phones and gave our own tips on choosing a new tenant. We must have stood there and talked for half an hour...maybe more!

The longer we stood there though, the more of a problem I was having. I knew this place wasn't for us. I didn't want to live behind a sorority(although I know Dexter would be in heaven). I didn't want to live in that dark little house. It didn't feel right for us. I did love the huge yard (Colleen had already planned one of Mario's BBQs in the yard and had already invited Saul). The only part of this place I loved besides the yard was the lemon tree, the avocado tree, the brand new washer and dryer...and Saul.

As we walked toward the sorority house and towards our car, Saul was all but begging us to move it. He said he knew good people and we were them! He asked when I could bring Mario over...although I think he was hoping that just Colleen and I would move into that back house with him. And even though I knew this place wasn't for us...I told Saul I would bring Mario over on Thursday. I knew I was lying to him and I was even more disappointed that I probably wouldn't get to talk to Saul again.

continued...

How I drive Mario crazy

2011-11-16T00:23:00.001-08:00

There's one thing that really seems to irritate the mister. It's something that most other people tend love about me. Some times my episodes are merely one simple little thing. Other times of the month, it's a freaking epidemic. It's my ability to be a complete dip-shit.

Yes it makes for great blogging and let's be honest, he's got quite a list of dip-shit moves of his own...most of which I've told you about on the ole bloggy. For some reason though, he doesn't quite find the same humor in my dip-shits. Probably because he sees my path of destruction and that just doesn't bode well with his OCD tendencies.

Let's start with my trying to clear a table last Saturday. We were at a fundraiser at the restaurant. Things were quieting down and we decided to work on a puzzle. I started moving things around and making space. I nicely moved a few drinks to the side, grabbed the table center pieces and proceeded to dump the ketchup bottle into a friend's coffee...which dumped off the side of the table and on to his stuff. I immediately got the look from Mario. The "are you serious...why are you ruining people's things?" I did feel pretty bad, but all was ok in the end.

I then had to one up myself the next night. I was clearing a table at the restaurant. I had gotten everything off the table and reached for the drink...completely dumping a huge iced tea all over the place. This time I got table, benches, floor, and over into Mario's booth next to it. I immediately got the look again. This time it was "are you serious! Have you completely forgotten how to use your opposable thumbs woman?" I couldn't help but laugh cause I was thinking the exact same thing. Luckily I had back-up. Rene was the first to thank me for clearing the table...smart ass. At least she knew I was trying to help.

My favorite dip-shit move of the week was while Mario and I were driving around. We've been on the lookout for a new apartment. Monday there were two places I wanted to take a look at. One was a guest house I'd made an appointment for on Tuesday. The other was for a townhouse that I was still waiting for a call back from. However, I did have an address for it. So, we decided to take a run by and check out the neighborhood. If it wasn't up to par, I just wouldn't make the appointment.

I pulled out my little notebook with the addresses on it. Mario fired up the GPS and I told him the address. 1015 E Broadway. With our destination punched in, we headed off. A short drive away, we pulled off the freeway and started looking for the street numbers. 1100...1085...1062...ooh these are decent looking...there's the high school...park...1020...1018...a church...where are the townhomes?...let's turn around and look again....high school...park...1019...1017...should be right here...and there's the church again...Where the hell was 1015! It didn't seem to exist. We turned around for a third pass and I decided to check the street number I had written down...yup 1015...where could it be...then I saw the problem.."Oh.."

Mario "What?"
Me "This isn't the street."
Mario "What do you mean. We're on Broadway."
Me "The townhomes are on Harvard."
Mario "Where did Broadway come from?"
Me "mmm...I dunno."
That's when I got the sigh and the look...and I got the giggles. Where the hell I came up with Broadway, I have no idea, but I couldn't stop laughing. Just one more thing to add to the list of dip-shits. I had just given him a street willy-nilly and have no idea why I said it. I was looking at the paper afterall.

Luckily, I was only a few blocks off and the property was shitty. His irritation was short lived and he finally started to appreciate the absurdity of the situation. So, I made sure to remind him that he married this and if it weren't for my dip-shits, we wouldn't have so much adventure in our life.

I'm sure one day I'll drive the man bat shit crazy, although he really can't deny that I make life interesting...besides, this blog is full of his own dip-shits. His dip-shits just require less clean-up and gas.

WTF

2011-10-25T17:52:00.000-07:00

Today I received a disturbing email from my mother....
~

I just called Rossmoor to get the papers for the apt lease. I needed to know what the hours were at the office.
No problem I could come in at 8am to the office. She asked what the date of the lease was.
I said nov 1. she says I can come in on that day and get the papers. WTF.
I may go in this week and get the papers started. and see what she says.

sara

I'm sure it's not disturbing to most people. It's really her normal random sentences, lots of double spacing, periods where there don't need to be periods, a lack of capitalization in spots. What upsets me is at the end of line three. "WTF" Where did she learn that?! My sister and I don't use it. So, I responded to her email.

yeah that is weird...You know what else is weird? You using WTF in an email. IT gives me the heebie Jeebies!

Laura

Her response?

you are tooo cute. I am trying to clean up my language for the grandchildren................................................

I do not want my kids saying "WTF". Besides anyone who knows her can all call bullshit on her cleaning up her language. I also love the loooonnnnggg pause at the end...it's as long as the wait she'll have before she actually gets grandchildren if she keeps saying WTF!

Demands

2011-10-18T23:00:00.000-07:00

I hate to say it, but I actually really like working register at the restaurant on the weekends. Don't get me wrong, I hate getting up early...getting out of bed and leaving my husband behind...having to look somewhat presentable on my "days off". But once I get over my normal complaining about having to get out of bed and get dressed, I actually like the work. I get to be that happy asshole that greats every one when they come in, take your money on the way out, crack jokes and send them on their way telling them we'll see them next week. I like it.

I've really gotten to know a lot of people. We have regulars who show up on certain days. We have regulars who show up at a certain hour. One of the things that we liked about coming to the restaurant initially, was being recognized by Rene and the waiters. It's what kept us coming back. I can see that people love that recognition and like to feel like we really know them. I honestly like when they are excited to see me also.

Of course, for every ten to twenty happy people who come through, though, there is always that one person who has to bitch and moan about something. I have no problem dealing with these people. I totally believe we need to hear the tough stuff or you'll never improve. But what do you do with those customers who complain about bullshit stuff?

Enter the strange guy, mid forties, who comes in every Sunday with a newspaper under his arm. He looks disheveled like he just got out of his office job...even though it's only 9am on a Sunday. Tie is always half pulled off and all crooked, shirt usually half tucked, hair standing straight up. He never really looks happy. Tends to look serious, so I don't say a lot to him. I just keep it simple.

A few weeks after I started working here, I finally got him to talk a little. I think most people had to get used to a new person in their restaurant. I had to gain some trust. Instead of just grunting, he finally made a little small talk while he was paying.

Weird guy "I really like this music."
Me "Oh good. We had a really bad love song station for a while, but we changed it up."
Then he'd grunt a good bye and leave.

That was it. Which was fine with me cause his creepy factor is pretty high. As the weeks went on, he would talk a tiny bit more.

Weird guy "I really love this oldies station you play."
Me "Oh good...thanks"
Weird guy "Yeah"
Then he'd grunt a little and leave.

A month or so passes and he comes in every Sunday like usual. It's the same every time. He likes the music. Grunt. Leave. This time though, he says a little bit more.

Weird guy "I really love this station. They play a lot of songs that the oldie radio station doesn't play."
Me "Yeah, it's got a good mix of songs."
Weird guy "I used to sell music to businesses, so I have a very sensitive ear. This is nice."
Me "Well, I'm glad you like the station" (Man this guy needs some socialization. He seems to be a bit excited about an oldies station.)

One day though, something was different. No not him. He still walked in, grunted, ate, and came up to pay.

Weird Guy "The music is different."
Me "Oh, ah, I suppose so. I can't really here the music up here very well."
WG smiling "Oh it's different. I used to sell music, so I have a very sensitive ear. I dont' like it"
Me "Well, I'm sorry"
Then he grunted and left.

The next week, like clock work, he was back disheveled as always. He paused at the door, then went in and sat down. I waited for the strangeness. He didn't disappoint.

WG smiling in a very creepy way "Ya know, I really don't like the music you have playing here. I want the oldies station back"
Me "I'm sorry. I'll let the owner know."
WG "I used to sell music, so I have a very sensitive ear. I prefer the oldies station."
Me "Ok, I'll let her know."
WG "Next week, if I come in and it's not the oldies station, I'm not coming back."
Me pausing and trying not to say good, "Wow, well, I'll let her know."
WG in the happiest voice "Well, off to three more church services! I've already been to two."
Me "Ok, have a great day."

I did tell Rene. She was as shocked as me with this weirdo. Was he serious? Well, we kind of found out the next week.

WG pauses inside the door and then decides to walk in. He sits at the table to eat. I really can't here the music from where I am, so I really have no idea what station is playing. From where I stand, I can see him order, so I assume that the music is ok. Wrong. He walks back like he's going to use the restroom, but then thinks better of it and comes up to the register.

WG "You know I have a very sensitive ear, and I don't like this station you are playing"
Me...no shit. I've heard about your sensitive ear before "Oh, I'm sorry. I let the owner know last week. It must have slipped her mind"
WG "Next week, if the station isn't back to the oldies station, I won't be back. I'm serious."
Me "Ok I'll let her know."
When he comes back up to pay, he acts like he never acted like a spoiled brat.
Me "Well, besides the music, how was your meal?"
WG "Oh great as always!"
Me "Good good. Well, have a nice day."
WG "off to services!"

I'm curious how his fellow church people feel about his threatening a restaurant to get the music he preferred? What a jerk! I couldn't wait for the next weekend!

He came in for the next three weeks as if nothing had happened. I kept waiting for the threats. There were none. I'm not sure if he realized how weird his threats were or he couldn't find any other restaurants that had the station he wanted, but he kept coming in like nothing was wrong. Finally this weekend, I noticed that the station was back to the oldies. Good. I really don't know what else to say to this guy. Luckily, he's been quiet about it, but you never know. After he finished eating on Sunday, he came up to the register...

WG smiling and happy "I just love this song! Such a great song!"
Me "Yeah"
WG "This is just a great station!" kind of swaying with the music.
Me thinking this guy is sooo weird! You can't even here the music up here! "I'm glad you got your station back."
WG "I used to sell music to businesses, so I have a very sensitive ear to music and am very particular."
Me "wow. Enjoy your services."

He walked out as if he had won. I guess he has. Luckily he wasn't that bad...he just sets the "crazy" alarms off. If it starts to get boring, I might have to change the station for a few weeks to see what happens! When you are a business open to the public, you have no choice but to let the crazies in. I just wonder what other situations are going to come through those doors!

Squishy

2011-10-18T01:33:00.000-07:00

After pretty much four weeks straight without any days off, Mario finally got the weekend completely off! Of course I had to work both mornings, but I was just happy to have him around. I was also happy that he got to sleep as much as he wanted, didn't have to get dressed until he was good and ready, and we didn't have to plan our weekend around how much work he had to finished for a deadline. It felt like pure freedom!

So tonight when Mario told me he was coming home at a decent hour, I was expecting to see him around 8pm or so. But no, the man came home at 6pm! It was so good to see him on a week day during daylight hours! We immediately decided to take advantage of this very foreign situation.

We decided that we are moving in the next month or so...as soon as we find a place that is really worth it. Because of Mario's hours, I've been taking care of this mostly myself. Luckily, with Mario off, we were able to check out a few places together this weekend. Come Monday though, I had a new list of places I had wanted with to look at. We decided to go take a look at the neighborhoods they were in and make sure that we'd even want to live in the area. A quick drive by eliminated two of the four houses we were thinking about. After taking note of the two homes we definitely want to talk to the landlords about, we headed out to run a few more errands and then get some dinner.

Dinner was nice and mellow. We filled up on salad, shrimp, and Ahi Poke. We hung out and talked about the houses we've seen and what our next plan of attack is with the photo booth. It was really nice. It was more time spent together in one span, than we've gotten to spend together with just the two of us for a long time. It was like a mini date.

To top that date off, we headed to Target for some essentials...what more could a girl want!? Besides a bee hive in the parking lot and a slightly argumentative customer in the electronics department (just show them your ID and get over it dude), we had the place mostly to ourselves. We cruised the electronics, games, camping...I was nice and decided not to look at the clothes. We cruised along a little more, got the essentials we were in need of and then started to head to check out.

When we got to the front, I handed the cash to Mario to pay, and I ran off to use the restroom before I burst. When I came out of the restroom, Mario was at the farthest front doors with a funny smile on his face. As I walked up, I asked him what he was grinning about.

He told me that when I gave him the money, he put it in his front shirt pocket. While he was in line, he pulled out the money to count it. As he reached in, he felt something squishy with the money. He squished it a little bit, assuming it was an ear plug from my purse. There are a million ear plugs in my purse...cause you never know when you'll need one or twenty! They just seem to multiply in there I swear! As he reached into his pocket again, he realized that it didn't look right. So, he squished it a little more and then finally pulled it out of his pocket...and realized it wasn't an earplug at all. It was a huge piece of Ahi Tuna! We are talking a good size one inch square piece of raw tuna from dinner an hour before. He had been squishing this tuna around in his pocket thinking it was an earplug!

My first question was, "Is it still in your pocket?"
Mario "No."
Me "Did you eat it?"
Mario "No!"
Me "Wow, good thing that didn't go through the wash! That could have been bad. However it's a good thing we have a fish alarm system at home called Bob. He would have been all over you!"
Mario "I want to know how such a big piece of fish could fall off my chip, roll down my shirt, and into my pocket without me knowing it was even there! It's not a little piece. It was substantial!"

I had the giggles after that imagining Mario walking around this fish in his pocket, then going home and wondering why the cats won't leave him alone. He's lucky too, because I had just finished the wash. So that shirt would have sat in the closet for a good four or five days before it got washed. It would have stunk to high hell and I probably would've had a difficult time keeping the cats out of the closet. That could have been shit! I also would kinda like to think that I would have noticed if a big piece of raw tuna had fallen down my shirt, but I find all sorts of shit in my bra, so who knows. It just makes me laugh to think of Mario walking around with Poke in his pocket.

Of course, he never really answered me when I asked where the tuna had gone. So, as I am writing this post, I asked Mario what he did with the tuna.

Me out of no where, "What happened to the tuna?"
Mario "Huh?"
Me "Did you eat the pocket tuna?"
Mario "No! That's disgusting!"
Me "Why? It was very fresh."
Mario "No, I walked all over with the tuna in my hand, looking for a garbage can to throw it in. That's how I ended up by the farthest door from the car."
Me "hmm...you should have just eaten it."
Mario "Bah!"

When Good Conversations Go Bad

2011-10-13T00:19:00.000-07:00

Last week I had lunch with some friends I used to work with. It had been far too long since the last time we'd met up, so there was a lot of bs to catch up on. One of the things I seem to have forgotten was how much fun we have when we meet up and how quick we all are to give each other shit.

Chris "What movies have you seen lately?"
Me "Um, well, not a lot. Oh Cowboys vs. Aliens...the cowboy part of the movie was great. The alien part was a dud."
Chris "I totally agree! I loved the first part of the movie. With such an epic name, you'd think they'd really do it up, but the aliens were really disappointing. What else have you seen?"
Me "Oh, we saw 'Protect The Block'. Fun movie!"
Mike "What is that?"
Chris "Yeah what is it? I've never heard of it and I see pretty much everything that comes out."
Me "Yeah, I can't believe you've never heard of it. Nick Frost is in it."
blank looks from around the table.
Me "Protect The Block is set in a rough neighborhood in London. There is a gang of teens running around causing a ruckus. All of a sudden these aliens start landing in the neighborhood. So these kids have to beat them off and...."
Mike "Whoa! Whoa! What kind of movie is this?!"
Me "Oh sweet Jesus! I meant to say that they kill them off and beat them up to protect their block!"
Me laughing "Didn't I tell you it was an X rated movie"
Chris "No wonder I haven't heard of it! I don't go to those theaters!"
Me "Did I say Protect The Block? I mean Protect The Cock! I should have known that you wouldn't let something like that get by you! Well, you should see it anyway. It was fun."
Chris "Hmm, I might have to look it up. But if there's any beating off, I'm not gonna watch it."
Mike "Chris, you let me know how it is.
Me "Ok,ok...just go watch it!"

Serious Conversations Between Friends

2011-10-03T19:55:00.000-07:00

Sunday during a very important business conversation with a friends, the conversation took a turn...

Ed said "I heard that for every 35 pounds you loose, you gain an inch of penis"
Rene "What!"
Me "I heard it was 50 pounds."
Ed "Nope, I've heard 35 pounds consistently."
Rene "What!"
Me "How many places have you researched this?"
Ed "No, I've just heard it a few times"
Me "Oh, well, 35 pounds is better anyways."
Rene "What are you guys talking about!"
Me "For every 35 pounds a man looses, it reduces the fat around their penis...making it longer."
Rene "You can't be serious!"
Ed "I'm going to loose 140 pounds. That'd give me 4 more inches, right?"
Rene "Oh my god!"
Me "You'd be a stick with a huge cock!"
Ed "I know! I'd be like 50 pounds, but my dick would be huge!"
Rene "Oh my god!"
Me "Yeah, you'd be so thin, you wouldn't be able to even lift it!"
Ed "I don't care! It would be huge!"

Hair Ninja

2011-10-01T18:19:00.000-07:00

I have a dud haircut. Or the haircut I got two months ago was a dud. I know this because it has grown out into shit. I was in denial about it for a while. I knew it wasn't good, but I wasn't going to get another haircut before my sister's wedding. I needed an up-do...and I needed enough hair to do that up-do. So no hair cutting.

It was the day before the wedding when I finally came out of my denial and faced the shame that was on my head. I blew my hair out and straightened it, hoping it would help. Not a chance. It actually made it worse. I was not only made aware of the lack of layers I specifically asked for in the back, the front was COMPLETELY uneven! Dramatically so. I had no idea. Because once the haircut started looking a little funny, I automatically started just pulling it up in a pony or a clip.

When I realized that it was that off, I had to get confirmation. I walked in to my moms kitchen to show Tracy. I wanted to make sure I was seeing what I was seeing. Tracy confirmed it.

Tracy "Yeah it's pretty uneven."
Me "Argg! This haircut is crap!"
Tracy "Well, you did want to wear your hair up"
Me "I know but it sucks that I paid for this haircut...I'm never getting my hair cut with mario again. I didn't pay any attention to my hair with him falling asleep all over the place!"

Mom "Honey, what's wrong?"
Me "My hair is completely uneven. That lady really didn't do a good job cutting it. Unless one side of my head just started growing my hair way faster than the other."
Mom "Aww. Let me see..."

Before I knew it, there was a flash of movement and my mother was holding a handful of my hair! I had no idea that she had a pair of scissors in her hand. I have also never seen her move that fast before. She was like a scissor wielding hair cutting ninja!

Mom "Problem solved!"
Me "Well, I guess so. Where the hell were you hiding scissors?!"

She just smiled and walked away, Tracy just laughed...by this time in the trip she was completely used to my mother's antics, and I went back into the bathroom to see what I could do with my hair.

The upsetting part was that even with my mother taking a chunk of hair off of the long side, it is still longer than the other side.

Costume

2011-09-28T23:45:00.000-07:00

As most of you know Mario is back working on Bob's Burgers. This mostly means that bills are easier to pay and I never see my husband any more. If the first season was tough, this season is tougher. After many promises of a better season than last, the schedule is tougher and everyone is working their butt off...and it's only the third week in. However, if this show takes off and they get a good five years out of it, we'll be able to really kill off our student loans and get ourselves into a nice house. (so make sure you watch the show people!)

Despite the fact they work my husband more than I do, I like the show. I've never really been into the Simpsons or Family Guy. Bob's makes me laugh though. I've watched the shows multiple times and they are funny every time.

Now if you've watched Bob's Burgers, you'll know Bob is the dad and owner of Bob's Burgers. Linda is the mother, and Tina, Louise and Gene are the kids. I really can't decide who would be my favorite. Tina and Linda crack me up. Louse is fan favorite though. She's the instigator and far smarter than a child of her age should be. If you haven't seen the show, here is an introduction...

Because of her popularity, the studio decided to give all the employees a set of her iconic bunny ears. She goes no where without them.

Of course I made him put them right on so I could take a photo of him.

Do you know what this really means? It means that Mario can now be this for Halloween...

This makes me beyond happy! Now, I just have to make him some pink footie pajamas...

Crazy Train

2011-09-21T02:30:00.000-07:00

As most of you know my sister got married a few weeks ago. She was the most beautiful bride on the most beautiful day! It was a perfect wedding for her and her Groom. I'm so happy for her and I'm thrilled to have Tim in our family...now the real torture begins for him. I hope to have some photos up on here pretty soon.

Of course, the days leading up to the wedding were insane. I flew one of my best friends in from Arkansas to photograph the wedding. She ended up tagging along for the majority of the time we were up in the Bay Area. I really felt for her! Mom, Lindsay, and me in full stress mode, running around like crazy people. Most people couldn't handle it. She had planned for it though. She told me that if mom or Lindsay started acting up, she'd throw a box of wine at them. That's when I realized she's one of the few people who could handle the job. She knew the secret elixir to my family's drama and stress! Wine!

It was a busy few days before the wedding. We divided and conquered. We ran errands. We made food. We picked stuff up here and dropped it off there. We spent far too much time working on the photo booth. We did it all and there was a lot of shit to do! I don't think I had that much to do before my own wedding!

However, Tracy worked like a champion. She was in it for the long haul. I owe her so much and I still haven't figured out a way to thank her...I'm working on it though! Not just for the endless helping...but for putting in so much time with my mother. When faced with the decision to run an errand with me and Mario or my mom, she usually chose my mom. This tells us two things. 1)My mom is pretty stinking cool. 2) My friends are just as insane as my family.

She learned many lessons for the five days she was out visiting. She learned my mother doesn't care if you know the person she is talking about...she will talk to you as if you do know them, whether you like it or not. She learned not to ask questions...it will only make the story longer and possibly confuse my mother, making her start a whole new story before finishing the last story. She learned that my mother can change subjects before you have had a chance to acknowledge she is talking to you. She learned that a the love of tomatoes in our family expands many generations and is deeper and more dangerous than you can imagine. Every time they came back from an errand, Tracy had a whacked out story to tell me about my mother. She also has a much better understanding of why I am as strange as I am.

My favorite story was the day before the wedding. Mom and Tracy had gone to all the major stores for supplies. Costco, Safeway, Sams Club, Michael's. They just needed to stop at a small fruit stand just down the street to pick up a few things. They pulled in, got the last of the veggies on the list and paid in record time. They then hopped back in mom's car to head back home. As they exited the parking lot, mom mentioned that she really needed to be driving the other direction. Not thinking anything of it, they drove on.

All of a sudden mom slams on the breaks in the middle of the street coming to a screeching halt!

Mom "Do you think we can do it?"

Tracy looks around. Not seeing any cars on the street, she says, "Yeah, it looks clear. You can flip a U'ey here."

Mom "No. Look!" Pointing to an object in the gutter on the passenger side of the car.

Tracy "What?"

Mom, "There! A tomato! Do you think it's good still? Do you think we can jump out and steal it cause it's in the street?"

Now, Tracy stops here cause she's laughing so hard. To her this was the whole story. She can't believe that my mother would slam on the breaks with such urgency...for a tomato in the street. She still can't figure out how the hell my mother even saw a tomato on the side of the road. I guess when you love tomatoes, you constantly have an eye out for them. Tracy hadn't seen a thing before mom pointed it out. What she does now understand is my family's love for tomatoes.

Of course I knew there was one question that still needed to be answered. Did they jump out and get the tomato?

Tracy "Of course I jumped out and got the tomato."

Me "So you just go along with her crazy shit.You know you only encourage her when you do that."

Tracy "I know, but she was so excited about the tomato."

I love Tracy more for going along with my mom's shit. In writing this, I think I've figured out that she kept choosing to go with my mom for the excitement. Mom did do a lot more exciting stuff like stealing tomatoes off the side of the road, cussing out old people driving, and her hard core search for clown noses just before the wedding.

I might have to get some more mom stories from Tracy....there were a lot. There is probably more stuff that my mom did, that I probably don't want to know about. My sister and I tend try to keep her in line, while Tracy just let her be her crazy self. I do love that my mom is just on the cool side of crazy. Of course I know that I'll be riding that crazy train soon enough.

Encased Meat

2011-09-19T17:34:00.000-07:00

Mario came running into our bedroom very excitedly, "Honey, I just found Kielbasa in the fridge!"
Me "Yeah, I told you I bought it yesterday"
Mario "No, you didn't." ...doing a happy dance.
Me "Yeah I told you and you made up a whole song about how wonderful Kielbasa is"
Mario "You just said the word Kielbasa and it makes me so happy that I started singing about it. I didn't hear that you had actually bought some!"
Me "Yes I bought it to make for dinner tomorrow...so don't touch it!"
Mario dancing around the room.
Me "I had no idea Kielbasa would make you so happy"
Mario "I might have to make up another Kielbasa song now that I know we actually have some in our house!"
Me "You're strange."
Mario "It's the kielbasa!"
Me "Well, I have to tell you, Bob was using the kielbasa for a pillow earlier"
Mario "What?"
Me "I forgot that it was in the bag and left it on the couch. Bob was sleeping on it"
Mario "I'll eat it any way!"
Me "Of course you would"

ADD Blogging

2011-08-26T03:03:00.000-07:00

1) I am still trying to tan away that tshirt that is still on me. I really didn't get a lot of time in at the pool the week before last...so that wasn't much help. I still enjoyed it though! I'd kill for that pool this week!

Today it occurred to me that I really only have a week to get this done. Either I get some sort of a tan, get a spray tan, or wear a sweater. Left with those options I laid in one of the chairs in the backyard, sprayed the hose straight up in the air, and pretended that the air conditioner was the sultry sound of the ocean....not even close! At least I tried. I heard about this great beach in Long Beach...might have to try it out next week.

2) I am now the proud owner of a new-to-me camera! I'm so happy! I feel like I'm working with better tools. No more ghetto camera! Woo Hoo! I should have had this camera three years ago!

3) I'm due for some new bras. So, I'm at that point where I'm wearing the bras that have issues. A couple days ago, I revisited a bra that had been relegated to the back of the bra drawer. One strap that continually falls down. Broken underwire. I can't stand wearing it any more. However, It does pull the girls up and gets the job mostly done. Out of desperation I strapped that brazier on and headed out to run errands.

First errand down, I headed to the dollar store for a few very high quality items. I collected my things and headed to the check out. A nice looking guy got in line behind me. I checked out and that was that. Just as I got to my car, I heard a "hi". I turned around to see the cute guy from in line. I said hi back. Then I got the cheesy "How you doin?" Very Joey Tribiani from "Friends". "Uh good thanks" Then I turned to unlock my car...very happy to have something to do rather than just stand there awkwardly. Seeing another opportunity he said "Can I help you put your bag in your car" I looked down at the one single bag I was holding and said "Thanks, I got it" He smiled and walked away and I said to myself, "Man I need to wear this shitty bra more...that dude was hitting on me!"

6) I've decided that the new neighbor is making me nervous. He's a bit cocky. He also parks his big truck right out front and stares down the assholes across the street. He's been keeping a big eye on those guys. Because of that they are watching him. At night everyone around is turning out their lights...so it's so so so dark on the street. I'm hoping nothing is going to happen before we move. I don't want him to set anything off. Mario says at least the attention is officially off of us. I'm not so sure. We just have to make it another month or two and we are out of here. (Getting that new camera set us back a few weeks in moving, but it was a priority for the wedding. I know it doesn't make sense when it's written out.) I think I need to start calling the city and try to get a street light put in. They all might be turning their lights off but it's so dark! You can't see what's going on at all. They have even taken to putting a blanket on the fence...the neighbor thinks it's so he can't look in. I just don't want him to get too cocky and start anything. I hate this!

5) Luckily I have my sister's wedding to keep my mind off all that. It's all of a sudden next weekend! I have gotten countless phone calls about hotels or no hotels. Should my friend stay with us or should she stay at a hotel. I mean I finally told my mom to decide and let me know when we get there. I can only tell my friend she's in a hotel, in the living room, in a hotel, in the second bedroom, at my sister's house, at a hotel, we're at a hotel, in the sunroom so many times. She doesn't care. Just make sure she has a place to sleep woman!

We have the same situation with hair and makeup. Mom wants to drive 45 minutes away cause her lady is somewhere else and she trusts her hair lady. Well, I'm not driving over there when there are closer salons. Lindsay is going to one place, mom at another, her best friend at yet another, We should all go to mac at macys. No over here. No, all at Lindsay's place. My mother and sister are killing me and it never fails that if one calls, the other starts calling or texting. Ask mom to do this. Ask your sister that. Luckily I have finally found how the phone can make a conference call. They both call at once. I connect them all into one call and then make them talk to each other. I live six hours away...they live 20 minutes apart! Get it together ladies! I know it's crazy now, it will be over before we know it. I can't wait to get up there!

6) I'm also still trying to figure out how to make a proper photo booth for my sister's wedding. We have the general idea, we just have to compile it all together. I have one week to get this together and working. I don't want to have to worry about it when we get up to the Bay Area. One of my best friends is flying in to shoot the wedding and we have things to take care of up there. I don't want to have to stress out trying to get it finished and cook and get ready and figure out what we're doing. No thanks.

If everything works out, we should have some very cute and fun props and a fun little photobooth. So long as those Craigslist people call me back and follow through...we know how flackey they can be. It's ok, I have back-ups...and back-ups for my back-ups.

Bologna

2011-08-20T00:52:00.000-07:00

The only real pull I have at the restaurant is the advertising. As the official "Marketing Director" and knower of the internets, Rene really relies on me to make the marketing decisions. It's pretty easy really. We have a zero budget, so as long as it fits in there...we're great! Every once in a while we break the rule, but it needs to be a very sweet deal.

Generally when something interesting comes through, I'll get a call from Rene asking me to run down to the restaurant for a quick meeting or to give someone a call. It's generally a pretty easy thing to deal with...a quick "no" usually answers the question. However, Monday, Rene called me to talk to a gentleman with an advertising proposal. I was going to be heading down the restaurant soon, so he decided to wait and talk to me in person.

He was selling very expensive advertising spots in a cheap little magazine that he hands out at his plays. He's an actor...and boy did he lay it on thick! He was working towards an Emmy. He made me happy, he made made me feel thoughtful, he tried flattery. "I've heard the best reviews about your restaurant! My audience raves about your food! Why would people rave so much unless it was a simply wonderful restaurant!"...he made me laugh. Nice try sir. Sweet talking is one way to make a sale. However, he must have felt my indifference to his advertising, so he went in for the kill...

Actor enter stage right "Well lovely lady, what is your favorite food?"

Lovely lady...I mean Me "Well, let's see. I'd say sushi is my favorite food"

Very Serious Actor looks at me very very seriously, tears up a little, then says "My brother. My baby brother! Married a Yugoslavian woman. She was young and beautiful. She married him for his money, you see. She wanted his money and wanted him to take care of her. She refused to cook for him. So my baby brother had to go find his own food. The only restaurant around was one sushi restaurant across the street. He ate there three times a day!..."

He paused and stared at me straight in the eye.

Then he continued, "I went to visit him one day. He didn't recognize me! He did not know who I was! Do you know how devastating that was? The doctor told me he had Alzheimers. For the three months, he had been eating sushi three times a day and it had given him Alzheimers! He didn't know who I was!"...very important pause..."Well, three months later I went to visit my baby brother and he had died! DIED!"

He stopped again to look at me.

"The doctor said it was the raw fish. That raw fish he had consumed turned into mercury in his blood! You can not eat that sushi any more! I feel god has sent me here to tell you to not eat sushi! The only people who can eat raw fish are Asian people! They are the only people who's bodies know how to process raw fish. So, you cannot eat raw fish!"

We sat there and he stared at me. for. a. very. long. time. He just stared at me, trying to make me uncomfortable. Then I said "Well, fish doesn't turn into mercury sir. Certain fish do contain more mercury than others, but I don't think I eat enough to do me harm. I only eat sushi once or twice a month...not three times a day. "

Actor "Well, if your little brother died...died from sushi would you eat it again? If your loved one died because of this, could you really eat it again? I bet not!"

Me "Well, probably not. I do apologize for you loss."

Actor "I think I was sent here by God to intervene. I was meant to stop you from eating sushi!"

He really thought that he had given the best performance of his life. I think he expected me to write out a check right there and then. Not a chance.

Me "So, what's the deadline on the advertising...."

Then just like a switch, he was back "Oh I'll call tomorrow and set you up! I just hear so many raving reviews of your restaurant! I'll even give you free tickets to one of my shows! You can talk to my audience!" (No thank you sir, I just saw a performance)

Then he popped up and took off. I looked over at one of the guys that works at the restaurant. "Did you hear that load of bullshit?"

One thing you should always remember! You can't bullshit a bullshitter! Don't think you can come in here and pull one over on me! I knew you were lying when you said that your patrons rave about our restaurant! Well, good sir, some people do rave, but I read every online review about our restaurant...people aren't raving like you say they are!

Also, you might play the little old man card, but you are still an actor. I know actors and I know the loads and loads of shit they shovel! Your act was good. When you felt me slipping you went for the guilt! You thought that you'd get this girl by making her feel bad for you! Nice try, but the minute you asked me what my favorite food was, I knew it was a script. I knew you had probably already asked Rene that same question. I knew that whatever her answer was, your brother will have died from that favorite food like he died from sushi. She will fall for the guilt. That is why she called me in to tell you that we weren't interested. She knows I'm ~~heartless~~ tougher when it comes to salesmen and have no problem telling someone no. That's why she called me.

I'm sure this all sounds a little harsh...but the minute I talked to Rene, I found out baby brother had not only died from sushi, but he had died from Mexican food as well! Imagine that! It was quite a performance. The only thing it was really missing was the tears. Had be given me some real tears, I would have written out a check right then and there!

Plus, don't you think God had more important things going on than sending you to stop me from eating sushi? If he wants me to stop eating sushi, all he has to do is give me a bit of food poisoning and I'd be off it for a good long time! It would probably be a lot easier than listening to that performance he just gave!

My Mother

2011-08-16T02:04:00.000-07:00

I just realized that I have never introduced my mother's blog on here. I know she's a bit nervous about me showing it, but I think she writes pretty well. So, take a look and let her know what you think! I'm very proud of her and she seems to really enjoy it.

Saraannenelson.com

She's so cool, she's even got her own website!

Cringe worthy

2011-08-15T02:25:00.000-07:00

Last weekend we spent Saturday afternoon at a friends for a pool party movie night. Lots of eating, drinking, swimming, more eating...then when the sun went down, we watched a cheesy movie on the side of the house. It's a fun time with some really nice people.

Generally it's the same people every year. Great people Mario has known since college. They are all very sweet, funny, and very laid back. I'm pretty much the newest person in the group. Every one else has known each other forever...some since elementary school. So, it's taken me some time for a few of them to really warm up to me. Well, really only one guy. I'm sure he's a nice guy...I wouldn't really know because he's never really talked to me. I'm not exaggerating here. He'll walk in give the big general "Hi", hug the people he knows, and not make any eye contact what so ever. I'm pretty sure he's guarded or shy towards new people, but I'll be honest it comes off as arrogance.

Well, after three or four years of randomly hanging out with mutual friends, he did it. He talked to me. We were both in line getting food, working our way from opposite ends of the line towards each other. I guess he finally decided there was no avoiding it, since we'd be meeting over the pasta salad at any minute.

C..."Hi, how are you?"
Me...silence...then I did the cliche look over to see who he was talking to...holy hell he's talking to me!..."Hi, great. How are you?"
C..."Oh, good good."
Me..."Good...oh this looks yummy"...then we both walked away.

I know, awkward. However, that awkward was not nearly as awkward as Mario's reaction to C talking to him. I've never heard Mario really nervously chatter. He's one of those people who can talk to anyone. He makes friends every where. However, I think he was so thrown off by C actually talking to him, that he couldn't stop talking at all.

Everyone was just finishing dinner, when C and his friend stood up and started saying their good-byes. As they made their way around the table, he said good-bye to Mario. That opened the flood gate.

Mario "Alright, man, it was going seeing you! Next time I'll bring tri-tip.

C and friend..."Oh, ok. Nice"

Mario "...yeah and I am now off the waiting list and am now approved to buy blaak! So maybe I'll bring some of that next time..."

C and friend..."Uh, I don't know what that...blaak?"

Mario..."Yeah, you know the Beakman Boys? No? Well, They bought a farm and have a lot of goats and make this cheese. It's supposed to be really fantastic. One of them used to work for Martha Stewart and the other guy works in New York still, but they are really trying to make the cheese business work...."

C and friend looked very confused now...and the only person who knew Mario's thought process was me. I knew exactly where he was going and I was cringing. You know when you meet someone from Baltimore and you say "Oh hey, my aunt is from Baltimore! Do you know aunt Suzie?"...because everyone from Baltimore automatically knows everyone else from Baltimore.

Even though Mario doesn't generally pull that. That's where he was headed now. I don't think it was intentional, but it was happening none the less. See, C and his friend are gay. So, Mario's brain said, hey they are gay, so they must know the Beekman Boys, because 1)they are also gay and 2)the one guy worked for Martha Stewart and gays love Martha. Mid way through the jabbering on and trying to explain what he was talking about, I think he realized his mistake. So, he was trying to explain the Beakman Boys without flat out saying...well they're gay, and you're gay, so I automatically thought would know them...cause the entire gay community knows each other...right?

Thankfully, C and friend didn't have a clue what Mario was talking about. And as awkward as that conversation was, it would have been more awkward had they realized that Mars was totally stereo typing them. I have no idea if anyone else was listening and had caught on to the predicament Mario had gotten himself into. I just kept thinking, well, it was a brief and awkward conversation...that will teach him to talk to us! Hopefully he'll just go back to his ignoring us now.

Pool party at our house!

2011-08-13T02:29:00.001-07:00

One if the really nice perks to our apartment is the nice size back patio. BBQs, fire pit, garden, storage, and laundry...all kinds of things can go out there, including us and a gin and tonic.

One of the favored activities of our neighbor is pool time. Every summer he goes down to Target, picks out one of those big square blue inflatable pools, comes home and sets it up for the summer.

We set up a pool one year and loved it. It hasn't quite been as hot the last two years, so we haven't set one up again. We didn't want to give up space for something we might not use. However, it never fails that our neighbor sets one up every year. He has pool parties with his buddies, BBQs, and just enjoys it in general.

Now that he has a live-in girlfriend, they've decorated the patio a little bit more. There are cute Hawaiian touches...tiki torches, posters, wall coverings. It's gone from bachelor inspired utilitarian to campy Hawaiian. It's pretty cute...no, I'm not above taking a peak over the fence to see what they've done.

A few weeks ago though, I noticed they emptied the pool. I say noticed because our patio was now full of their pool water...I love being the tiniest bit down hill! I thought it was a little early for the pool to come down. It's still warm out and they use it.

So, when we ran into the neighbors the other night, we found out what happened. They didn't empty their pool. At first, I was thinking it might be our asshole cats...way to go jerks! Nope. It was the assholes across the street. We assume at least. Why do we assume you ask? Well, because they went outside to find the pool deflated and a bullet in the bottom of it!! HOLY SHIT! Probably from someone shooting up into the air. How f-ing scary!

We are definitely moving in October! That's when we know we'll have the money. I have had a lot of shoots lately (photo shoots mom, not drive bys) but have no money yet...I hate waiting for billing!! It is time to get out of dodge!

2011-08-12T02:16:00.000-07:00

Things have been fairly quiet around the homestead. I haven't stolen any cameras or puppies, so at least I'm behaving!

1) I'm really feeling good about my business. I've been really trying to ramp it up. It's really turned around though lately. A month and a half ago, I was wondering if I should still be doing photography. Now I'm back on track. I'm back on my plan. My to-do list is nice, long and very detailed. I have a list of goals a mile long and am just feeling inspired again finally. I actually have some pretty big plans in the works...very excited!

2) I have found a photo of Coco that I think should fully explain why I am obsessed with her butt...

Look at that butt! It actually looks pretty tame there, I mean she can balance a glass on top! I mean I think my butt is that size, but my waist sure isn't that size! I really don't think it's that round. So that's that. There is the famous butt.

3) I have so much to finish in the next month and I'm not sure how I'll get it finished and not sure if I have enough money to cover it all...I better! I can only really tell you part of it...part is a big secret that I can't tell you until afterwards. Part of the big news is that my bebe sister is getting married next month. Totally not ready, but I'm totally excited! Being so far away makes me feel so removed, but she keeps giving me little things to do down here. I can't wait to see how it all comes together!

I have two photography assignments for the big wedding. First, was hiring one of my best friends as the photographer as a gift for my sister...otherwise I was going to have to do it myself and that isn't so easy when you are in the ceremony. So, I have to fly her out from Arkansas and get to the wedding on time! Not like she's a problem, but now I have to coordinate Mario, me and Tracy...and poor girl has to put up with my family under stress and nerves! She said she'll just bring a box of wine for when they start getting out of hand. At least she knows their "medicine"!

Also, I have the very important assignment of setting up a photo booth. I'm excited. It would have been a breeze, except that my sister choose the one park without any electricity. So how do you run a printer, computer, lights, and all that fun stuff without any where to plug it in? I have something in mind but we'll see if it works...at least it's for my sister and not some bridezilla. Hopefully I get it all worked out soon!

4) In other news, we have a new gang in town. The neighbors even came and asked if we had seen them. We have in fact. It seems like there have been quite a few more of them lately. It's not totally comfortable because you can't always see them, but you know they are sitting in the dark watching.

Opossums. A whole gaggle of them...or whatever a bunch of them is called. They live in the tree right in between our two doorways. The tree favors their door a bit, so when they walk up to their door they come face to face with the gang.

I can actually hear them climbing around in the tree right now from our apartment. I can hear their nails scratching on the branches...creepy right? They are climbing around. We came home last week to one little guy sitting in the bushes next to our door. Luckily they aren't confrontational.

I'll tell you what, I'll take this gang over the gang across the street. Although, I think our neighbor might choose the guys across the street over the little family of animals that greets her when she comes home each night.

5) I'm dog sitting the next week. Hopefully I'll get my fill of puppies. But my real goal while dog sitting will be tanning by the pool. One of the bridezilla's requests is that we wear a white dress. I am a natural odd pink color. I'm not a natural tanner, but I can pull a little bit of color. However, no matter how hard I try I will still have a the farmer tan. Yes, I will probably look like I'm wearing a white tshirt under my dress. It's a classy look I tell you, but very few of us can pull it off with that special flair. If tanning doesn't work, I'm going to resort to a big flower or a butt bow to keep people's attention off my tshirt tan.

6) No more surprise visits from the new neighbor. However, if you look at the comments from that post, our former neighbor mentioned that she mistook our door for hers a few times. I was laughing so hard. She said there were a few times after dark when she couldn't figure out why her key wasn't working, only to realize she was at our door. Now I'm surprised that I haven't done it myself.

7) I'm making this too long...but last week, Mario came running in the bedroom all excited. "I bought a house! I bought a house!" I felt a little feeling in my soul...I think it was hope and excitement and wonder at how..."on my Star Wars Galaxies Game!"

Me "You really came in here and woke me up at 2am to tell me this?"

Mario "You can help me decorate it! I'm going to go kill some guys so I can get a rug!"

What else can you say? I went back to sleep.

I'm more desperate in my subconscious

2011-08-09T03:48:00.000-07:00

I'm going to start by saying that the current state of my camera is pathetic. It is over six years old...which, in the digital world, is antient. I'm sure the exposure is off. The hot shoe for my flash is loose, so I have to hold the flash in place a bit. But it's been a good camera to me...especially considering the abuse I've put it through. It's travelled with me, it's been there on special occasions, it's been dropped, it's got personality, and it's stubborn.

That being said, I am long overdue for a new camera. Long long overdue. I've had my eye on the new camera for a while now. However, life has ways of keeping that new camera just out of reach...car repairs, bills, all that random stuff that always comes up when you are just about ready to buy that beautiful new camera.

The new camera idea is so far from new though, that there have already been two versions of the camera released. I need a new camera and I want a new camera. I think about it quite a bit and I can't wait until I finally get my hands on it! This morning I was made far too aware of how desperate I am apparently really getting.

I dreamt last night, Mario and I were in an autobody shop. I needed to take a photo Of some things for insurance and the auto body shop was nice enough to lend us their camera...the exact beautiful camera that I want and need bad! They had no idea what they had! I was beyond jealous! The man handed over the camera and was called to help another customer in the other room. When he didn't come back and as we waited for our ride, I convinced myself that they had totally forgotten the camera exsisted. So, I decided to keep it...ok I'll be honest, steal it. I carefully wrapped it up in a jacket and put it with our stuff. Then we hung out. They had completely forgotten about the camera. It was mine free and clear!

Apparently I am so desperate for this new camera, that my subconscious is willing to steal for it! What have I become?! Not only that, but when I knew I had gotten away with the camera, I decided that I wanted their cute little dog too...What is wrong with me!!

Luckily, I'll hopefully finally be able to actually buy my new camera in the next month or so...so I won't actually have to resort to robbery. Still, am I really that desperate that I'm willing to steal a camera and dognap a dog!

Newbies

2011-08-05T00:41:00.000-07:00

Much to our dismay, we have a new neighbor. Our favorite Miss Monica and Egon the attack kitty moved...thanks to those a-holes across the street. Good for her, boo for us.

However, It never takes long for our landlord Albert to fill it. Just about the time I was thinking about offering to photograph it for my landlord, there was a truck pulled up unloading furnishings. That's cool. We walked by and there was a young woman and a man just about finished moving things around. We stopped and introduced ourselves. They seemed nice enough. The man was moving in and his daughter was helping with the move.

As we walked away Mario said "Divorce".
Me "What! How did you come up with that!"
Mario "Single man moving in a single apartment. High school daughter helping him move. I smell divorce all over him!"

I couldn't help but laugh. I guess it makes sense. It's just such a random thing to say!

Cut to Tuesday night. I'm working on a shoot. Mario's being a good husband and making me dinner. I've watched the new neighbor go back and forth to the garage a number of times. It looks like he's doing a few repairs or painting. Out of the corner of my eye I see him heading back from the garage. But then I hear someone stop outside our door. I hear the screen door open and no one comes in. Maybe I was mistaken and it was one of Mario's friends stopping by to say hi. So, I look at the screen door and wait for who ever it is to come in. In steps the neighbor. He's looking out towards the street (probably trying to figure out what those a-holes across the street are doing) and cleaning off a tool. When he finally looks up, the look on his face was priceless!

First the look said "Hey why's the neighbor sitting on my couch?" Then it changed to "hey that's not my couch!" Then it finally hit him and he looked horrified! "OH MY GOD! FOR FUCKS SAKE! Oh my god! I'm so sorry! I was looking over there and then I just walked...oh my god!"

I was screaming, I was laughing so hard. Mario finally stepped out of the kitchen to see what all the commotion was about. I was still belly laughing. I couldn't help it. My first thought was "Oh he'll fit in just fine". Then it occurred that maybe he wasn't used to doing dipshit stuff like that. So, I was finally nice enough to say that it was fine and it was just a mistake.

But then I started laughing again and he backed out, shut the door and left. I felt a little bad after he left for laughing so hard, but I can't help it. I love when that kind of shit happens! This is also the precise reason I lock the door if I'm going to be walking around nekkid!

2011-08-02T20:00:00.000-07:00

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

I just found a new way to read blogs and I'm totally into it. It's like a blog reader, only you can see the blog in the window. It's a nice set up. You can like blogs and all that fun stuff.

Walker

2011-07-29T18:08:00.000-07:00

Last week a very strapping and fit friend asked if I wanted to go on a hike with him. I think the look on my face screamed "have you seen me?!" However, I absolutely said yes.

I grew up hiking. My father would take my sister and I hiking at least once a week. We were part of a peregrine falcon rehab program. So we would hike in and spend time watching to make sure things were happening with the falcons in that area. I'm not sure we were as serious about the falcons as we should have been, but it was a really great time for us. We have tons and tons of photographs from our hikes and even more great stories and memories.

While we were visiting home a few months back, I took Mario to our old hiking spot. I realized how much I missed our weekly hikes with dad. It's something I really want to get back to.

So, when I was asked to go on a little hike, I couldn't turn it down. I've been thinking about hiking for a while now and now was the time to start again. Of course I have no idea how out of shape I am. I mean I know I'm pretty stinking out of shape, but I have no idea what my limit is.

That means I have to make a test run, right? Enter Mario leaving work early last night. I had his shoes ready to go. Dinner was prepped, so when we got home it would be all set. I was dressed and ready to go. I wanted to make sure we had enough light for a nice little trek.

We live just minutes from a beautiful park and mountains. We headed up the rolling hills above Hollywood and Los Angeles. It's hard to believe there is such beautiful spots around this city. We had a beautiful view of the city as we walked.

We didn't do the hike we set out to do. The Observatory was having some big do da, so there was no parking anywhere! Plan 2, just pull over at any ol' trailhead you see. Mario decided that since there were a lot of people walking in and out of this trail...that this was the trail for us! We got out of the car, walked over to the trail head and looked up the steepest tail! It wasn't just steep...it was STEEP! But Mario decided we were going for it. I was really happy. I figured we can stop as much as we like, just so long as we get up it.

we made it to the top!

Turns out the steep only lasted for so long. The trail leveled off and ended up following the hills. The weather was perfect. The sun was just setting and we had made it up the hill. We just walked. I was so happy! It really felt like those hikes we used to take. It was a nice quiet sunset walk.

However, soon the sun was getting too low and we were heading back. Yet there were still people hiking in! I wanted to know if there was some bon fire some where...where were they all going in the dark! We only got to go about a mile this time, but Mario loved it so much he wants to go again this weekend.

We headed back to the car just as it got dark. It was a little creepy coming back in the dark. I kept hearing noises behind us.The steep hill was far more treacherous coming back down...but we made it! We climbed in the car feeling good. Then just as we got the car started, Mario suddenly yelled "WILD ANIMALS!!" then turned on the high beams on the headlights. I'm not sure what I was expecting. What I was not expecting was to see a coyote walk into the restrooms. Do coyotes drink out of toilets also?

No blaming sleepy me this time!

2011-07-28T00:16:00.000-07:00

I lent my car to a friend for a few days this week. Her car was in the shop for repairs and mine was free to use, so it worked out. Today, was the day we needed to get our cars back to their respective owners.

Early afternoon she gave me a call letting me know that she was on her way. I figured after dropping her off at the garage, that I would head over to the restaurant for a change of scenery. So, I started packing up my computer. Part way through packing, I decided I was taking too long. I didn't want to leave her waiting for me, so I just grabbed my purse and headed out the door. I could just drop her off and just pick up my computer on my way back.

I locked the door and headed to the alley. Then decided to check if I had my keys. Cause it's always good to check after you have locked and shut the door right? Turns out they weren't in their normal pocket...and they weren't in the secondary pocket...and they weren't in the main part of my purse...and they weren't even in the pockets that are too small to fit in. So, I checked them all again...and then again once more.

Not to toot my horn, but I am not a key looser. I am normally very good about putting my keys back in my purse as soon as I'm finished with them. My best friend was notorious for loosing keys...even with the electronic key finder. Mario routinely forgets his keys, wallet and phone at home at least once a week. I can't lock myself out of the house after all the shit I have given them. So, I checked again. No keys. I even pulled all the crap in my purse to make sure they weren't hidden. No such luck...they were no where to be found.

I really wasn't too worried about getting back into the house. I had options. I would have my car and car keys in a matter of minutes. My sister-in-law works about a mile away and Mario only works about 15 minutes away...or I could just break in. I decided I was getting too old to break in to my own apartment...plus the shortness of my skirt would only lead to inappropriate beaver shots for the neighbors. Then I decided that it was silly to drive all the way out to get the key from Mario, when his sister is only a few blocks away.

I dropped off the friend at her newly repaired car, picked up the key from my sister-in-law, kept my girly bits covered, and was over at the restaurant in 15 minutes. I know, not much of a story, but the question still remained...where the hell were my keys? When I stopped back at my apartment, I couldn't find them anywhere. Not in any of the normal spots. Not in between cushions, not under the couch, not in the chair, not in the kitchen, in the bedroom or in the bathroom. Not in the freezer. Not in the house at all it seemed.

I had Mario check his car. I checked my car. We checked the apartment again when we got home. I had Mario checking all the spots I had already checked. I was about to call the restaurant we had been at the night before, when I reached into my purse for my phone...and pulled out my keys. That's when Mario yelled, "And that is why I am afraid of your purse!"

Two things I've learned, I'm not as forgetful as I thought...just blind. And also, I now know my purse is the perfect hiding spot from Mario. He does have a huge aversion to my purse. He doesn't even like to hold it. Now I officially know he's afraid of the purse...knowledge is power!

The Night Shift

2011-07-27T02:03:00.000-07:00

I'm really not a morning person. I'm sure I've told you this before. More times than not, I stay up late and sleep in. It works for me for now. I'm sure that will change when bebes come along. However, it's just fine for now. If I need to be at a shoot or a meeting early, I'm there without a question when I need to be...regardless of how early it is.

That being said and as backwards as it sounds, I usually wake up early to use the restroom before Mario starts getting ready for work...before Mario takes his ridiculously long shower...and I'm stuck trying to sleep a little longer with my legs crossed. Then I get back into bed and check my emails real quick. Delete what needs to be deleted. Respond to any client emails. Delete a bunch forward this email to 25 friends and you'll receive a million dollars. Then I check the restaurant's emails and then I generally return a few text messages. About this time, mario gets up and heads to the bathroom to get ready for work and I hunker back down and try to sleep for a little while longer.

Most of the time I am quite coherent for my early morning business stuff. Today, it turns out...not so much. Only I didn't realize this until about 8pm tonight. Now, I had been working on a shoot, so, I had gone to sleep very very late. About the time 6am rolled around, I had only been sleeping for a few hours. However, I still got up and made my run to the bathroom, then hopped back in bed....and then vaguely remember checking emails.

Later at dinner is when there was any clue that my morning email session hadn't gone as well as normal. I was trying to explain a recipe to Mario that Tracy had sent me that morning. Failing to explain it, I tried to pull up the email....but couldn't find it...anywhere! I remember responding to it! I checked all my sent mail. I checked the trash. I checked my inbox. I even checked unsent emails. Not being able to find my response to the email was one thing, however, not being able to find her original email was another. Where the hell was it! I know she sent me a recipe!

About my third time through my inbox, I did find an email. Not Tracy's recipe, but a from my favorite sushi joint. I don't remember seeing it this morning...but woo hoo coupons!

Then I decided to look at my sent emails again. No recipe from Tracy! Where was her email and where was my response! Gone! What the hell was I doing this morning! That's when I noticed a peculiar sent email. From me. To my favorite sushi joint. Apparently very sleepy me wanted to send them a thank you note for the coupons. Only sleepy me thankfully couldn't quite pull it off. I only got my name, phone number, and my website into the email before I sent it to them. A sad but nice attempt to get more coupons from them? Who knows. Probably time to stop checking my emails that early in the morning unless I am fully awake.

You know what I did find out? The recipe email was actually a recipe text message. Luckily sleepy me sent an appropriate text message back to Tracy or she would have never let me live it down. I'm also thankful it wasn't a client...makes me wonder if I've done this before...lets just pretend I haven't ok?

Clipper

2011-07-26T04:10:00.000-07:00

Burbank has a really great magazine called Clipper Magazine. It's basically a big advertisement. Lots of local businesses advertising with some pretty good coupons...hence Clipper.

I always look forward to it. Being the penny-pincher that she is, my sister has even expressed some jealousy over our fantastic Clipper Magazine. Mario has been into it lately also. We both ravage it, pull out a bunch of coupons...and then promptly forget about most of them. But still we love our clipper magazine!

This week was the random surprise delivery of our Clipper. I was lucky to be home first, so I went through it leisurely. I sat back with my feet up and studied all the local businesses. Ooh look at those solar panels...I would totally use this coupon if I had a house to put solar panels on. Hmm, look at the coupon for the restaurant down the street...great coupon...if only the restaurant didn't suck. Oh wow...how good can that massage be...even with the coupon that's freakin expensive...but I want it anyway...cause who doesn't want a massage! Seriously I look through it a few times just to make sure I haven't missed anything.

Mario finally got to see our Clipper after he got home from work later that night. I had defiled it first...but he didn't know. He was so happy. Sitting at his desk, slowly flippling through. He was quiet. I was working. All was happy in our world. It was peaceful.

Then he saw the advertisement that blew his mind. Yup. Lazer hair removal! That's apparently what gets my man going.

Mario "Honey, it's only $75 for Lazer Hair Removal for arms!"

What is the correct response to that?

Mario "I can't believe how cheap that is!"

Great. Wait, Does he want lazer hair removal for him? Or worse, does he think I need hair removal on my arms? Are my arms really that hairy?

Mario "Doesn't that seem incredibly cheap for really hairy arms?"

Well, I'm going to guess he's thinking about his own arms, cause I ain't that hairy!

Mario "Hmm, wow, I can't believe how cheap that is."

Man, I really hope he hasn't noticed my ~~beard~~ chin hairs...He better not be hinting at me! Maybe I should wax my eyebrows tomorrow.

Me "Honey, do you know how ridiculous you'd look with hairless arms, a bushy beard, and chest hair sticking out the top of your shirt?"

Mario "No, I'm just surprised how cheap it is." a little too awkwardly...he totally wanted him some hair removal! He would have gone with the arms just because of the coupon!

Me "Thank god! I could not be married to a hairy man with hairless arms! A man without arm hair is just not a man!"

However, I can't stop picturing my hairy italian with clean smooth arms...and it creeps me out. I like my furry man just the way he is.

Then just as quickly at the first coupon..."Ooh...look at the coupon for these solar panels!"

Just like that the next wonderful Clipper coupon had lured him in... and all was restored in our hairy world.

Splitting Hairs

2011-07-20T23:30:00.000-07:00

Last week, Mario and I decided that we were both in desperate need of hair cuts. Something we have both been putting off. However, we knew this was the time to do it. Mario was looking like Jesus with a big bushy beard and I just looked a mess, all frizzy and a the ends of my hair a bit discolored.

We made duel appointments for Sunday afternoon at our favorite spot, Floyds. Can I tell you how excited I was! I love hair cuts! They are so relaxing for me. A good hair cut is like a good massage...but I get the bonus of walking away with a cute hair cut.

I was called first. I went across the room and started talking with my stylist. I was getting my hair washed and was mid way through the most wonderful scalp massage, thinking about how relaxed I am, when I start thinking about how this might be a little too relaxing for Mario. However, as the stylist turned me around and started cutting my hair, I can see Mario chatting with his stylist. Good. He's conscious.

I get back to chatting. This song rocks. Do what ever you want with my hair. Did Amy Winehouse get a boob job? Yes, Purple is a happy color. Then holy shit my husband is asleep while someone has scissors to his head!

Not three minutes after I had seen him talking to the stylist, he had completely passed out! I understand it's relaxing, I was right there with him. I'd love to nap through it. Here's the problem though...Mario is not a sound sleeper. He flops. He snores. He bounces. Not only was this not safe, it was probably freaking annoying!

With the loud music blaring through the place, I couldn't hear snoring. Thank god! But I had the perfect view of him in my mirror...and I was obsessed. I wanted to be able to wake him up, but I couldn't. It's a big enough shop and the music is loud, so I couldn't yell to him or his stylist. My stylist thought it was funny, but thankfully was more interested in my haircut. All I could do was stare at this poor woman trying to cut Mario's hair while he looked like he was having a seizure. She seemed like a patient enough girl. I still felt bad though.

Then as if he heard me yelling at him in my head, he woke up. Said a few things to his stylist. Whew! Thank you! Then, just like that, he was back asleep! That fucker! He was torturing me and the stylist...and probably my stylist also because I was staring at him and not doing much talking to her!

That's when I told my stylist that they should have a rule in the shop. If you fall sleep in the chair, you get your head shaved...or at the very least a mohawk. That would be awesome! I told her that my husband could be the first one. She thought that was a great idea.

I was hoping to finish up first, so I could go tell his stylist this new rule about sleeping in the chair. However, Mario walked over about 5 minutes later acting like he was wide awake and had a pleasant time talking with his stylist for the duration of his haircut. I called bullshit on him though. As he got half way across the shop, I yelled, "I hope you tipped that nice girl very well for sleeping in her chair for the whole haircut!"

He turned around and headed right back over to his stylist with a little extra tip. He is also now very aware that next time he falls asleep in the chair, he's getting a mohawk...I kinda can't wait.

Competition

2011-07-18T14:06:00.000-07:00

This weekend was a nice mellow weekend spent running errands, doing a little shopping, but mostly just spending time with Mario. I know...how smootsy cute. It was a great weekend though.

Fast forward to last night. We had gotten a call from friends about seeing the last Harry Potter movie. We got the message late and wouldn't be able to see it with them, but decided that we couldn't resist seeing seeing the movie anyway. With an hour to spare, we headed over to one of our favorite mexican restaurants to split something fast and yummy.

We knew we didn't have much time. We made the important food decision quickly. They delivered the food even faster. We were about half way through shoveling our food in when our waiter came to refill drinks.

Mr Waiter "More iced tea sir?"

Mario in the most loving caring sweetest voice says "Yes, thank you honey"

The "ey" part of "Honey" was drawn out just enough for me to realize he was trying to figure out if he could turn it into something more manly and more appropriate for the waiter. It takes a lot to embarrass Mario, but he did it to himself in one sweet loving word. He said it exactly how he says it to me. Sugary sweet and full of love....Mario was horrified.

I couldn't stop laughing. I had tears running down my face. Every time I thought I was finished and could start eating again, I'd have to put my napkin over my mouth so I wouldn't launch my dinner. I had tears running down my face. I had the giggles so bad, this little old lady was trying to decide if I was crying because I was upset or because I was laughing. Luckily Mario was giggling in between being mortified and embarrassed.

He sat like this for a while...well until the waiter came back. Then he tried to look tough and not look like he was hitting on him. That's actually "honey" over his left shoulder on the way back with his drink. They make a cute couple, right?!

Shoots vs Shoots

2011-07-12T23:45:00.000-07:00

As a photographer, there are certain terms that I use...photoshop, flash, camera, tripod, head, crop, shot, aperture, exposure, panoramic, tours...you know all the standard terms. However there is a term and it's conjugation that photographers use all the time. Shoot and shot.

There are times when it's alright to say, however, some of the time it feels inappropriate. There is no taking this term out of our vocabulary though. So, I try to control how I'm going to use it. "Today's shoot was tough." Ok. "Are you going out and shoot today?" Ok. "I shot my grandma today." Not good. "I'm going to shoot my mom and sister today." Ooh bad. "I shot the cutest baby today." So wrong!

I've pretty much excepted our use of the word. It's not going away. I just watch who I say it to and how I use it. Around other photographers, I don't even try to change it. They know what I'm saying. My family has heard me say it for so many years, that if I stopped saying I was shooting someone or shot something, they'd think something was wrong. That being said, you'd think my loved ones would know what the hell I was talking about when I say "I shot today".

Last week, I went up to Big Bear to "shoot" some panos. I wanted to create a virtual tour of Big Bear for my marketing. When we arrived it was raining and thundering...which was wonderful. I had planned on shooting the next day. The rain cleared up that night. I was planning on the wonderful puffy clouds and amazing blue skies Big Bear usually has. The next morning delivered a nice sky, but with the dark clouds rolling back in. The thunder started up again and I waited. After a few hours, the sky cleared up enough, for me to run around and get a few nice panoramas. They weren't exactly what I wanted, but it was a great start. I called Mario later that night and told him I was able to shoot after all.

Me..."The dark clouds cleared out enough for me to go shoot"
Mario sounding a bit confused..."Oh, what'd you shoot?"
Me..."A couple of nice spots around the lake. There was a really pretty picnic area. So I shot a couple of different areas"
Mario..."Oh!! I thought you meant you shot at something."
Me..."Really! Where would I get a gun?"
Mario..."That's why I was confused!"
Me..."The whole reason we came up here was to shoot some panos! The camping was a major bonus, but I couldn't come home without having taken any shots."
Mario..."Well, I forgot."

I have my cousin to thank for this change in thinking. Ever since he took us out to shoot his guns, apparently this is all Mario thinks about when I say shoot or shot. Years of using the same words over and over, now have to be explained because of one fun outing with guns and a tin can.

The second situation happened this morning. I sent a text to my mom today, letting her know that I now had six shoots on the board this week. "When it rains, it pours. Six shoots this week!" Usually, this would illicit a happy response....but I heard nothing back.

She finally called me today at lunch. I was on a small break in between shooting model homes. After listening to her talking about the quilting show she's been at for the most part of the last week, I finally asked if she got my text.

Me..."Did you get my text this morning"
Mom..."Well, I'd have moved out by now"
Me..."Huh?"
Mom..."I'd have moved after the first time!"
Me..."No, I have six photo shoots this week."
Mom..."Oh! That's much better! I thought those assholes were shooting at each other again!"...laughing
Me..."Shoots as in work...that will hopefully allow us to move away from those assholes that shoot at each other"

In this instance, when I say shoot, my mother hears Drive-by. I can only thank the assholes across the street. Even more years of hearing me say shoot and shot have been screwed over by the jerks across the street and their drive-bys.

What I want to know is, when my mother read my text and thought I was telling her there were six more shots fired across the street, why didn't she call and make sure I was alive!!! Where is the love! I suppose the text told her I was alive...but still!

Garden

2011-07-01T00:00:00.000-07:00

I'm having a good garden year this year. I have shit growing all over the place in our tiny backyard. The tomatoes are getting so tall, they're heading over the fence to the neighbor. I'm sure my abilities haven't gotten better. I think Mario's super watering system and the great weather should really get the credit for those amazing veggies in the backyard.

There are a ton of tomatoes growing, my basil is getting bigger by the day, my chives have always been awesome (this is the third year they have come back on their own), the parsley is finally kicking some butt, green onions are really starting to thicken and grow strong. I just added mint, sage, and tarragon to the garden and they are already getting bigger in just a week. The zucchini I transplanted last week are now growing strong and getting bigger by the day. And of course my beloved rocket. Some bastard bugs attacked and ate every leaf down to the stick...hence the organic bug spray last week. I trimmed the plants back and they are all growing beautifully again.

I'm sure it will all change when the real summer heat hits. Until then, I'll be happy if this is all I get this summer... it's far more than I've gotten in the last three years of my adventures in gardening. I'm pretty stinking happy!

My cherry tomato plant is out of control. I've been attacking the little red beauties daily. Although, I noticed the little tag that came with the plant said yellow pear tomatoes...these sure are pear shaped or yellow. I'll still take them though!

I also have some nice size regular tomatoes growing. I'm surprised how many there really are! I even have one really big guy turning reddish. It will go to our first BLT of the season with basil and thick cut bacon...can't wait!

This year I planted two cucumber plants. I tried cucumber from seed in the front yard last year, but that didn't work out at all. This year I bought a few plants. They have taken off. One is trying to make a run for the other side of the yard. So far there are a ton of these little minute cucumbers with a flower at the end.

However, today I found this first guy camped out in my green onion planter. It's the bigger of the two. Probably 5 or 6inches. The second one I found while showing Mario the first guy. He's smaller. 4 inches or so.

Here's my basil when it was smaller. I have a bunch more now. The planter looks more like a chia pet. I'm loving it!

Green onions are coming along. Looks like chives now, but should be nice strong onions soon enough. I tried planting these last year in the front yard, but it's far too shady. They never got past the grass stage. These I have hopes for!

Yes I am a proud garden mom and yes you can see that I stalk my plants at night as well as during the day. I'm hoping those cucumbers will be ready for harvest for next weeks camping...woo hoo!

Good things to know...

2011-06-27T02:53:00.000-07:00

1. If you park too close to me, I will totally use your bumper to feel my way out of a parking spot...that's what they're for right?

2. I've learned that if a new card game is awesome enough, I'm willing to put up with full thumb cramps as long as everyone else wants to keep playing said game. I've also learned that if my husband thinks this game is awesome also, he's totally ok with me moving my wedding ring to another finger so I don't get a blister from shuffling cards. This game is really awesome ok!

3. I learned yesterday that just because a bug spray says it's organic and safe to use on the day of vegetable harvesting, doesn't mean it won't make the roof of your mouth go numb. A quick rinse won't cut it...make sure you wash those tomatoes really really really well before you pop those babies in your mouth no matter how desperate you are to try the first tomatoes of the season! Lesson learned!

4. I'm obsessed with a new television show..."My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding"...OBSESSED! I can't tell you how fascinating this show is. First of all, who knew gypsy's(really known as Travelers) really existed. Second, gaudy dresses and scandalous outfits meets strict moral codes. These girls are pretty much groomed to be homemakers. Somewhere between 16 and 20 years old they marry. Their job is to take care of their man and home. Girls are not allowed to go out alone. They are usually with a friend or family. After they are married, they aren't supposed to go out without their husband. No premarital sex at all. Reputations are so so important. So they don't put themselves into situations that might lead to questioning. Hence, the not going places alone. But then there is the men. When girls and guys are alone, girls are not allowed to go up and talk to guys. They guys however are they ones to start conversations and they also do "grabbing". The guys grab a girl and try to get a kiss from them...(ok this isn't so different over here) but they tend to get a bit forceful. It almost looks like kidnapping. It's all very interesting. The girls compete to wear the biggest and best dresses. I think I remember hearing something about the more bleeds you have, the better the dress. wow. I can't get enough. That's why I watched uncountable hours of this show today. I took a nap to it. I woke up to it. I can't wait for the season finale of it. I hope there is a season two.

5. After my Gypsy show ended, I was faced with emptiness. What could I possibly watch that would be as good as my Gypsies? Well, then the heavens delivered. Ice-T loves Coco! I have been waiting to watch this since I heard about it. Ice-T id cool and cute. Coco is who I want to know about. She's actually really pretty. They are sweet together. It's her butt I'm interested in though. She's a curvy girl for sure. She's got junk in her trunk. The butt is perfect, it just looks like it's been enlarged and attached to her. She caught my attention with her weekly photos of her butt on twitter...the girl can balance a glass on her tush while remaining upright! It's a special talent really. However, the show actually focuses on how cute, loving and supportive they are. Turns out there is a very sweet, smart, fun girl behind the butt. I'll probably end up watching it with or without the butt. They've won me over.

6. I just went out to move my car. I was parked in the alley and tomorrow is garbage day. That is asking for a ticket! I initially parked in the alley because no one seemed to be able to park correctly on the street. Two cars were taking up four parking spots on one side of the street. Three cars were taking up five spots on another part of the street. When I went to move my car out onto the street, I was hoping that some of these jerkfaces had figured out how to park. Not only had they not learned how to park, but now there were 20 or so garbage cans added to the mess. I knew I was going to end up parking a block over. I carefully backed down the alleyway and just as I entered onto the street, I paused and saw that one car had figured it out! They had backed in and opened up a space in front! Woo hoo! So, I punched it a bit to finish backing out of the alley. Didn't want to loose that spot! Then a heard a crash...and a secondary crash. I looked in my rear view mirror and saw a car...far back and no where near my car. I pulled forward a bit and then saw my kill in the mirror...garbage cans. Shit. What a dork. I have to admit though, it felt good. Very good. So, when I pulled into the spot I had my eye on, I really really wanted to take out the four cans in front of me. I resisted of course. I am happy I resisted too....cause I had to go pick up the cans I knocked over and clean up the mess I made. Thank god they were recycling cans...it was just newspapers. Although the cans were heavy and I might have dropped them a few more times before I got them upright...another lesson learned. Not only should I be watching Coco's ass, I need to watch my own a little better.

It's amazing what a girl can get finished at 2 in the morning...

2011-06-24T03:40:00.000-07:00

Mario has been back at work the last few weeks. Yay! So, we've been getting used to the long hours again. Being the only clean up guy for this show right now, he's been working late a lot. Coming home at 3am most nights.

Knowing that I really don't sleep well when he's not in bed with me (and because I still have not learnedto not read scary books before going to sleep), I've just decided to wait for him to get home to go to bed. That way, I get to hang out with him for a bit and then just go to bed with him. I know it's sappy. However, as it turns out, I've been able to utilize that time and can get a lot of shit finished between midnight and 3am!

-I can make a wicked dinner. Turkey meat loaf with rosemary smashed potatoes and herb sour cream sauce.

-Throw a load of laundry in the washer.

-clean the bathroom

-go through the mail from the week.

-oooh coupons.

-cook up some chicken for Mario's lunch.

-pack breakfast and lunch for Mario

- make lemon squares.

-change laundry over. put in new load.

-put laundry away from last weekend. put tonight's laundry away.

-oh, I need to transplant those zucchini plants to the new planters. sure, there's enough light in the backyard for gardening at 2am.

-my hands are already dirty, might as well plant some more stuff.

-wash my hands and decide to wash a few dishes.

-play ~~life sucking game~~ Gardens of Time on the computer.

- attack Mario when he comes to the door.

-pass out and have the hardest time waking up at any decent hour the next morning.

I have always been a night person. It's just amazing how much you really can get finished when you're in the groove. Seriously, I would never get this much finished before noon. I've always called bullshit when people say they are more creative at certain times, however, I might now be a believer!

The only problem is sleeping in. Sure, as long as I don't have a shoot, it's fine. However, getting up early on the weekend to go to work is a bitch. I'm sure Mario's schedule will even out more (I'm totally lying to myself here) or more likely I will learn to sleep without Mario again...and I'll also learn to not read scary books before bed...hopefully...probably not.

Paranoid

2011-06-14T16:25:00.000-07:00

You know that guilty feeling you get when you are being followed by a police car? You've done nothing wrong, broken no laws, don't have any warrants out for your arrest, but still you feel guilty. As I've grown older, calmed down, and become a better driver, I've learned that it's not necessary to feel guilty. It's a waste of adrenaline really and most of the time I'm driving mostly legal. Not much to worry about when you drive like a grandma.

However, today I discovered a place that illicits the guilt in me. Guilt and paranoia. I suppose it's the cameras...there are a ton of cameras in every corner pointed at every angle watching your every move.

The bank. I will take the drive up window and the ATM over going inside any day of the week. It's not a lazy thing. It's that feeling of being watched. Who are they looking for? Bank Robbers. So what do I worry about...looking like a bank robber. Yeah. Stupid, I know. I'm sure I'm not giving off the bank robber energy. But then I see all the cameras...then I tense up...then I think "oh shit, relax or you'll look guilty"...then I try to relax and look nonchalant...which probably makes me look more guilty. It's a lame and vicious circle.

The thing is, I'm sure I'm not the only person standing there thinking this. So all us dorks are standing there kinda looking at each other, pretending to be cool...and looking guilty and tense...and kind of wondering if the other person in line actually is a bank robber.

So yesterday, I finished up my deposit and started to walk towards the door. I passed in front of everyone in line without incident. However, as I walked past the seating area, there was an older gentleman seated. He was very handsome and very cool looking. Nice suit, sunglasses, arm up on the seat back next to him, legs crossed and so at ease in front of all those cameras(unlike me). He honestly reminded me of "The Most Interesting Man in the World" from the beer commercial, he was that cool. I couldn't see his eyes behind his sunglasses, but I felt him watching me(he could have been asleep for all I know).

That's when it kicked in...oh god I hope my zipper isn't down! Why does it feel like my zipper is down? Then the Oh-god-if-I-reach-down-and-check-my-zipper-then-I'll-look-like-I'm-Checking-to-see-if-my-zipper-is-down. So what's worse, your zipper possibly being down but pretending not to notice until you get to your car and can check...or to put your hand down in the crotch-ular area to check if your zipper is down and it's not, but you still look like a dork for checking?

I decided to not check. I straightened my back and decided to own it. If the barn door is open, then it's open. I'm not going to feel on myself just to find out that my zipper is in fact up. Because a girl checking her fly on the way out of the bank is so classy!

Maybe it's the cameras. Maybe it's all those shifty eyes. More likely I'm just a self-conscious dork that has far too many random embarrassing accidents. Either way I feel guiltier than a whore in church...I'll still to the ATMs.

Triple Check!

2011-06-11T02:15:00.000-07:00

After a month of passive aggressive hinting to a new client, I finally had to lay down the law.

Every Monday for the last month, I have been sending my invoice to my client. Every Monday. No major notes. Just a nice Monday morning reminder. I'm trying to be fair. He is a new client. I want to give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he didn't read the terms of the invoice and notice that he has only a week to pay me. But I send the invoice every Monday hoping that on one of those days he'll say "You know what, I'm going to just send this payment off today. Get this bad boy paid off!" He didn't. He said he did, said he would...but he didn't.

So, I have to resort to the email. The threat email.The email that says, if you don't pay, I'm shutting you down buddy! I kindly let them know that if I don't receive payment by ** date, that I will shut down their virtual tour and/or website. Personally I think the threat is a half ass threat. They already have all the photos and virtual tour. I'm just threatening to take the tour offline. They still have the photos! Thank god they don't think to much about it and the threat actually works though. So far, this threat has worked every time. The thought of being offline usually lights a nice fire under their butt. Probably because their clients check the tours all the time. I'm sure the thought of having to explain their client that the reason the tour isn't working is because they forgot to pay the photographer.

I do have a next step in my collection process just in case. Luckily I haven't had to use it. Next, the embarrassing threat email goes out. If you don't pay me stat, I will send an invoice to your client for payment. Try to explain to your client why you didn't pay your bill and they now have to pay for your marketing. Bad news.

So today, threat email went out. Only one problem...I swear I checked the email. I double checked, because I remember thinking "Don't send it to the wrong Todd, you'll look like a dumbass and then he'll see that your clients don't pay on time". Sure as shit, I sent it to my old boss, Todd, instead of my client.

Boss "Did you mean to send this to me?"

Me "Yes, you're busted. I'm sure you owe me from an old shoot from 7 years ago. Yeah sorry, I sent this email to the wrong Todd. However, you can pay the invoice if you feel so inclined. I don't care who pays the invoice as long as the payee is named Todd. Hope all is well. Have a great weekend!"

Boss "Thanks, you too...by the way, you are way to nice on your collections. You need to be meaner."

Great. He's still bossing me around 7 years after I quit. Actually Mario had said the exact same thing two minutes before. So, I feel like a dumbass and a doofus. I know I'm too nice, but the threat email works. I feel like I have to be a sugary sweet asshole while threatening them...cause I want them to hire me again. Right? I'll just make sure to have him pay before I give him the photos. After 5 years doing this, I'm still learning how to be a business owner...and to read who the hell I'm emailing!

Work, Veg, Blogs, and Shark Attacks

2011-06-09T00:36:00.000-07:00

1)So, all this talk of breaking up with the restaurant and I end up working part time there. Why the hell do I keep getting into this situation? They needed someone they trust to run the register on the weekends and I wanted to pick up part time work. I'm really not sure how long this will go on, but for now, it's easy work. Despite how frustrated I get with the owner of the restaurant, I still want to see the restaurant do well. Oh well. I just keep telling myself it temporary...it's temporary, it's temporary...

2)Mario doesn't stay still while he sleeps. He shakes his legs, rocks, sits up, rocks, and rolls. It took me forever to get used to it. I can sleep through most anything now...well with the exception of freaking myself out with scary shows, books, or gang member neighbors. As far as Mario's crazy sleeping goes, I probably have slept through some good earthquakes and never knew because Mario was rocking the bed more than the quake was.

The other night was bad though. He was kicking around, swimming, and moving all over the place. The cat kept moving closer to me, so he wouldn't get kicked. I kept moving closer to the edge of the bed to keep clear of the swimming. Finally the cat got up and went into the other room, and I was left to fend for myself. I pushed him back to his side of the bed. I pinned one of his legs down with my legs. I finally fell asleep. The next morning Mario woke up refreshed. I was still exhausted. When Mario asked why I was so tired, I responded with "Babe you sleep like a shark attack victim...swimming and thrashing around. The cat took off early and I just tried to fend for myself". He fell over laughing at the thought of him being a shark attack victim, but honestly it's the best way I've found to describe it.

3)Our garden is out of control! I am so happy. We pretty much go outside after work and see how much it's grown every night. Mario hooked up the mister system and I have the happiest plants out in the backyard! The tomatoes are growing out of control. Lots of green tomaters all over the place...I can't wait for them to ripen! I'm also excited for the things that I have tried to grow in the past that didn't work out...however, they are totally growing this year. Cucumbers! I have lots of little cucumbers! Rocket...I couldn't get one leaf to grow last year...I have a whole crop this year...ok, a relatively small planter but it's producing a pretty good amount. Rosemary, parsley, basil, brussel sprouts, peppers...I am so excited to start pulling more veggies. I've been cutting herbs and the rocket and it makes me so happy. Just gotta keep it all growing! we've been lucky to have a pretty mild spring and summer so far. I keep waiting for the hard heat to hit and take me down a notch as a gardener. Until then, I'm going to keep enjoying what I have growing!

4)I have a couple of folders of blogs that I read. Split into subjects...kinda. I certainly have my favorites that I take a look at every day. I have some that I just click through every once in a while. I have been reading about blogs petering out. Their popularity is slipping. A favorite blogger of mine mentioned this not too long ago. She's one of those bloggers that has hundreds of comments a day. The actual number of visitors to her blog are much higher. She said she sees the number slipping and the comments are even fewer. She knows there will be an end to blogging, like anything else. There will always be blogs around, they just won't be the numbers there originally were.

Despite this fact, I still get irritated when my favorite blog hasn't posted a new blog in a few weeks. I fight the urge to send a comment telling them to get their arse in gear and write a post! Then I think, ah shit, I haven't posted in a week...you get your arse in gear and post you hypocrite!

I know that blogs are loosing their sparkle but I still love writing blogs. I love telling the stories about the dumb shit I do.

Breaking up

2011-05-25T02:20:00.000-07:00

I finally did it. I broke up with the restaurant. After working with Rene for over a year trying to get her business going again, I finally had to stop. I researched, designed, cleaned, counted, fixed, cooked, waited, rung up, but I can't fix the real problem...the owner.

No amount of talking or lecturing has made any difference. No matter how much work I put in, it is undone by her. I feel bad. I wish I could fix all the problems. It's a good place, but it needs some serious reigning in. She knows what needs to be done to get her restaurant going again. I have told her many times that I cannot care about her business more than she does. That's why I can't work there any more. Until she makes the changes that we have talked about for the last year (that she has continually put off) I can't help. There is no point in continuing.

There's definitely some relief. I won't stop going. I'll be there for her to talk and bounce off ideas, but I'm not going to spend more of my time on her business. Especially when my own business needs it so bad.

In helping her, I have neglected my own business. I haven't finished the website that I should have finished months ago. I haven't been on top of the marketing like I used to be. Marketing is something that you do now and see the results in three to six months. Did I market myself properly December through March? No, and my lack of photo shoots now are very evident. I put myself in a bad position and now I really have to fix it. I sure don't want to end up in her position.

Mario and my goals are very important and a lot more urgent now. It's time for me to reach the business goals I set at the beginning of the year. So, I'm revisiting my goals and the schedule I laid out for myself. I'm back on the business wagon. All the energy that I put into someone else's business, is now going back into my own. If I crack the whip, I think I can be back on track by August.

I am also signing up with a temp agency. There are a few reasons behind this. The last thing I want to do is get a job. So, it's a bit of a bit of a punishment. I know you are thinking it seems counter intuitive. Part of what I need to relearn is how to use my time wisely. I won't put in nearly the amount of hours that I put in at the restaurant. I will work part time and then I get to leave it behind and be able to focus on my own work.

Second, I need to make money. I need new equipment and Mario and I really need to move. After a third incident with the neighbors, it's time to go. We would like to be able to stay another year and save up for a house, but it's not happening that way.

Third, is Murphy's law. The minute I have ever mentioned getting a part time job or leaving photography as a profession, the photo shoots roll in. I'm hoping this happens this time at well. If not, at least I'm making some extra money. Right?

I'm excited right now. I might not have had any control over the restaurant situation, but I certainly have control over my own situation. I have clear goals and am ready to get back on track!

Family Visit...continued

2011-05-21T02:19:00.000-07:00

We ended up spending the rest of the rest of the week hanging out and planning a bit of my sisters impending nuptials...checking out dresses and locations. We had a nice time, did a lot of relaxing and waiting for our Mothers Day Senior Bus Tour on Sunday...the real reason mom wanted us to stay for long. Yes, a bus tour. It was actually really fun.

Growing up in the Bay Area we spent a lot of time boating on the Delta. When our family got rid of all the boats, we would take road trips, fishing trips, and photo trips out to some of the islands and towns. It's a part of the bay area that I love and really haven't shown Mario, so I was pretty excited for the trip.

The plan was to drive out to a mansion for a champagne brunch. Tour around the mansion and grounds. Then drive out to Locke...a very cool town on the river lock that had a very high Chinese population in the early 1915 and on.

We arrived at the beautiful mansion and it rocked. The grounds were gorgeous. The rooms were gorgeous. The food rocked and the champagne was plentiful. One thing that I can't express enough is how cheap my sister is. If something is buffet or endless, she will try her hardest to make it a good investment of her money. Example, we used to visit Disneyland she would count how many rides we went on and divide that into the cost of the ticket and try get her hardest to get the per ride cost as low as possible. Put her in a buffet and free champagne and imagine what she can do. They served us all mimosas. She shot her mimosa and then asked for more. Then, when I finally finished my first drink and was asking for my second, she finished her second off and said "oh no my glass seems to be empty". They would fill it up. She'd drink that one quick and then ask the other waiter for a refill. About half way through my second glass, they topped me off. She quick shot back her third glass and pulled another "oh no my glass seems to be empty". Of course they obliged. I lost count of what glass she was on. Now this is where I clarify. This is not a "lets get drunk" thing, this is purely how cheap she is. She wants the most bang from her buck!

Her second point of attack came with dessert. They had bowls of really nice wrapped chocolates. They were not safe. This meant that Lindsay could grab handfuls of chocolates and stuff them in her purse. They could have saved quite a bit of money had they only served unwrapped chocolates...don't make it portable people. The look on the face of the lady next in line after Lindsay was priceless. First, she was all smiles and then she looked slightly appalled. I couldn't help but laugh...the girl is cheap and balsy! I'm sure there are still some chocolates in her purse.

We spent the rest of our time at the mansion sneaking into rooms and checking them out. They have their own bowling alley, he hugest billiard table, a theater, endless rooms, a lodge room, a ball room, etc....it was really beautiful.

After a few more glasses of champagne for Lindsay, we headed down the road to Locke. I was so excited! The last time I had been there was with my dad. I can't tell you how many times we visited this town. We'd spend a few hours photographing and then head over to a tiny island with a picnic lunch. We still have a ton of my dad's photographs from Locke.

We checked out the house with all the toilets in the yard. When people would move into the houses back in the day, the new owners would change out the toilets...because they didn't want to use a toilet that a chinese person had previously used. However, one man thought the toilets shouldn't go to waste. So, he planted a big toilet garden. Tons of toilets made into planters. It was pretty fun. The original owner has since passed away and most of the toilets have been removed, but there are enough there for memory's sake.

I loved when Mario realized the only thing holding the facade on were some straps

We walked the main street. Old western looking buildings with faded Chinese writing. It really is a cool place. It was actually fun to see that the town is a little busier than it used to be. They seem to be making it a bit of a tourist stop.

One spot that is less of a tourist stop and more of a regular spot is the old bar...Al the Wops. My dad had lots of stories about this bar. It's just one of those bars that is known in the delta. I was in the midst of telling Mario about what dad had told us about the bar, there are dollar bills all over the ceiling and a number of ladies panties stuck up there as well, when it occurred to Lindsay that we were actually now old enough to go in the bar and check it out for ourself. FINALLY! If we had more time, it would have been nice to stay for a drink...maybe next time. It was fun to finally see the ceiling we had heard stories about since our childhood. Want to know how all the dollar bills got stuck into the ceiling...give them a dollar and they'll show you.

By that time champagne had started wear off and the afternoon had caught up with us. We all piled back on the bus, closed our eyes and immediately woke up back at mom's community. It was a really great day. I actually can't wait to take Mario to some of the other spots we used to hang out. I'll miss having someone drive us around though...it was nice not having to worry about drinking and driving or just driving in general.

My highlight of the trip? Driving out through the delta, you overlook a lot of farmland. The nice little lady in front of me asked what type of crop I thought one farm was growing.

Me "Oh that's a wine plant"
Cute Lady "Yeah I thought it might be a grape vine"
Me "Oh god, I've obviously been hanging out with my mom far too long when I start referring to grapes as a 'wine plant'! Very classy! Thank you for overlooking that comment."

Between the endless champagne and the wine plant comment, you'd thing we are all alcoholics...

our beloved waiter...the bringer of all things champagne

Happy Anniversary

2011-05-19T14:03:00.000-07:00

Oh god...how long has it been? Have you all left my bloggy for another bloggy that puts out? Of course not...cause we always come back together.

The last few weeks have a little crazy. The last weekend in April was my aunt and uncle's 50th anniversary. Mario and I decided we would go up to Oregon for the celebration. We left on Friday and drove the 6 hours up to my moms place. On Saturday, Mom, Mario, and I drove the 8 hours up to Oregon. We arrived about half an hour before the party started. It was a nice relaxing supper with all their friends and family that could make it. It was good to see people I haven't seen in a while, nice to meet some new people and of course it's always fun to see my cousins and family.

My favorite parts of the trip were after the party though. We headed back to my aunt and uncles for a little bubbly wine and some good story telling. I usually hear most of the family stories from my mom and cousin. This time it was my uncle, aunt, cousin and my mom. My mom was in heaven. My mom's relationship with her brothers haven't always been strong, so this story telling was really made her happy. She got to hear more sides to the stories from her childhood. I miss my grandmother's stories, so this was really fun for us all. Mom's still talking about it.

My second favorite activity was getting to shoot some guns. I've shot bb guns before, but not a real gun. I have this dream of being a sharp shooter one day and I'll never be a sharp shooter if I never shoot a real gun. So my other cousin took me and Mario up on their ranch to shoot some guns Sunday morning. Mario went in trying to be all cool and shoot a bunch of bullets...and missed a lot. I went in trying to hit every shot...so I took a long time between shots aiming. In the end, if we had an intruder, Mario would shoot a million bullets and miss the guy. While I'd take forever to line up the shot and the guy would end up running away before I shot. So, we aren't safe but we had fun.

However, the fun was soon over and we were already heading the 8 hours home. We landed at mom's house again on Sunday night.

Normally we would have spent the night and headed out the next morning, however, my mother and sister had waged a war on us. My mom bombarded us with phone calls for the previous two weeks begging us to stay through to the next weekend...for mothers day weekend. She worked. She begged. She bribed. Then she enlisted the guilt of my sister.

It worked. She now had us for over a week. Mario hasn't stayed with my family for over a week that I can think of. He's patient, but I wanted to give us a little break, and my mom a little break too, so I booked us a few days at our little timeshare in Napa.

the wine cave at our timeshare

happy peoples

Fun fun fun. It was a really nice little getaway. We went up Tuesday. Relaxed, swam, made yummy dinner, hung out and just enjoyed ourselves. It was like a little anniversary for us, since we never get away for our actual anniversary. Wednesday night, mom drove up and stayed with us. We had an awesome dinner at the timeshare restaurant, walked the grounds and then completely passed out.

Yummy food!

after dinner we sat at this awesomely huge fire pit and ordered dessert

Bocce Ball court also! This place rocks!

Thursday morning, however, was wine tasting day. Mom and I were wasted before 11am. Luckily Mario's not really a drinker, so he was our driver. There is a really beautiful wine cave on the timeshare grounds. The wine tasting guy loved him some Sara. Cause that woman knows how to spend some money on her wine. I know! She doesn't just drink boxed wine...she drinks the good stuff too! We had a blast. I think we tasted every wine in the place. He was very very generous with the wine.

Mom and I quite a few tastings in...and yes she also brings her own iced tea to tastings as seen in the background...she is always high class!

We ended up at only two wineries...the second winery I found out that my mother becomes a product saleswoman when she's drunk. I was feeling good, mario was relaxing taking photos, and mom was selling cheese slicers and corkscrews to other patrons of the winery. She cracks me up.

My poor man relaxing and waiting for us drunkies

The second winery was beautiful!

We were looking a little worse after the second winery...it's impossible to take a photo of this woman cause she's always talking!

Needless to say, we hit our peak early. We ended up getting lunch and then realized we should head home. It was a blast though. I haven't really done the wine tasting with my mom for a long time and I hadn't been to Napa for even longer. It was a beautiful little break from life. Perfect weather, great wine, and a great place to stay.

continued tomorrow...

Bosom

2011-04-27T22:45:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure how many of you experience boob issues like I do. The major problem being their ability to hide stuff. Some of it is deliberate...some is not.

I think most women tend to utilize our bras for extra pocket space. I tend to put my chapstick in my bra if I don't have pockets. Many of us have used the bra to hold the phone, cash, cards, lipstick. The list goes on.

How many of you inadvertently hide stuff in your bra, only to find out about it when you take your bra off that night? That's absolutely me! I'm not sure if this can be attributed to having lots of cleavage, my tops being a little too low cut, or maybe I'm just a slob. Maybe it's the perfect combination of all of those things. Who knows. All I know, is that most of the time, when a remove the ~~torture device~~ bra at the end of the night...inevitably something that I came in contact with earlier that day falls out from the boobs. No not small children or animals. Mostly food product or maybe even an object.

Any time I eat popcorn, I will find at least three fully popped corn kernals in my boobs. I have found an M&M...this was a nice suprise. Bread crumbs are always itchy...this might attribute to my sandwich avoidance. Lettuce, chips, rice...if I've eaten that day, I'm sure there is a remnant in between the tits.

There have been those times when I find something odd. I once found a barrette between my boobs. The missing twist tie to the bread bag was once found in my cleavage. These strange objects inevitably reminds me of the time I was talking to my sister and she reached down and stuck her finger in her bellybutton only to find a plastic clothing tag in it. Where it even came from and how it got in her bellybutton was a mystery. What I wanted to really know, was how long this plastic tag had been there. Could it have been days? She hadn't bought any new clothes recently. It will always be the best mystery ever!

Tonight's find made me feel dangerous. I didn't actually notice the object until I got into bed and noticed that there was a piece of lint between Olga and Helga. As I reached down, I saw sonething else, a stick pin...a STICK PIN! Under my boob! How tough is that!

At least it makes sense. I have been sewing a dress and in trying it on, had lost said pin into my bra. I was lucky though, this could have been painful at any point while carrying it around, removing the brazier, or getting into bed. But no, it was held safely in my bosom. Thank god I found it before I fell asleep...that could have turned out bad. Maybe this should be a lesson...

Score!

2011-04-27T02:50:00.000-07:00

Even though I have most of my planting finished, I've been thinking of expanding my little farm this year. I've added brussel sprouts, onions, cucumbers, and doubled the amount of tomato plants from last year. Yes, I'm feeling very positive! Mario has installed the promised drip system that he started last year. Woo hoo! I'm very excited! It's been working nicely. The plants are happy and I am also...cause I'm not so good at the watering part. I get better every year but, this will help when we are out of town and when I'm forgetful.

Anyway, I only have so many planters. So, I've been on the lookout for a couple of good sized planters. Most are the wrong size or price and then Mario wants them to match...we'll see if that happens.

So today I wanted to hit a couple of stores to check out some prices. We decided to try a long shot and visit the local thrift store. We wanted to pick up some games for the restaurant and see if there was any chance that there were some cheap planters there. Of course there weren't any planters. That kind of stuff never makes it past the curb. However, we scored some other cool unnecessary things. Yes, we remembered and found some cool games. But we also found a really nice coffee maker for Mars. It's one of those coffee makers that makes your coffee and stores it. Then you just press your cup to the spigot and it pours your cup. Unnecessary, sure. Cheap and a little nicer than what we have... absolutely! Then there is the completely unnecessary purchase of the day. We found a really nice fish tank. I know, I know. Totally unneeded. But I miss having fish and hello it was uber cheap!

When I met Mario, I had a fish tank. I loved my fishes! After many years of having my fish, the last little guy passed away. Needing the space, we decided to give the tank away and put in a book case. We've talked about getting fish ever since. We just couldn't justify giving up that space again. However, the thrift store provides! We now have a mini version of our old tank! It's only a 2.5 gallon tank. Small enough to fit onto our big bookshelf perfectly. It's like it was made for it! Cute...yes. Absolutely completely unnecessary...undeniably.

We eventually made it to all the garden centers on my list. Yes, all the planters are pretty much priced out the same. I just need to buck up and buy one that fits best. I might consider checking other thrift shops, but I really don't need to come home with more unnecessary shit.

However, I did come home with something else I didn't expect. Lessons. I learned that the people who visit thrift shops during the week are hardcore. Stay out of their way! They look through that shit with speed and a discerning eye. I saw people walking around with some really nice things, that I'm sure they worked really hard to find. And after being pushed around a bit, I know not to mess with them. Also, I learned that when the thrift store workers take a break, they go sit on the couches and oogle the thrift store patrons. If you happen to be cute enough, they will even make kissy faces at you. Apparently I am cute enough.

Thrift stores = cheap unnecessary goods and nice for a good quick boost to the self esteem.

See I can be a good influence!

2011-04-22T15:58:00.000-07:00

This morning I got a call from my friend. She was standing in the bathroom getting ready for the day. As she was putting her hair up in a ponytail. Her oldest son, Joey, came into the bathroom. He stood next to her and started making faces in the mirror. Then he opened his mouth looked inside.

Joey "I can see my uvula"
Katie stared open mouthed "Where did you learn that?"
Joey "Auntie Laura told me"

And my heart swells with pride.

Joey and I had this conversation a month ago. How he remembered this today is amazing. He has a memory like a steel trap. I love it! I also had hoped that this little random bit of info would tumble out at the most random time and it totally did.

Now I have to come up with another pointless word to introduce into his vocabulary....any suggestions?

Of course then I tell him to do things like this.

Where do they go?

2011-04-22T00:50:00.000-07:00

Well, where did the spider that was previously in my shower go? This is the big question in my house still. Well, this is the question in my head. I'm afraid if I ask Mario one more time, he'll have me committed.

Let's go back a little. Sunday and Monday were spent working on my little veggie garden and Mario setting up the oh-so-awesome watering system up for my precious baby tomatoes. Working out in the backyard, I noticed there were a number of spiders. A few more than usual. I suppose it's that time of year. I dealt with it though.

That is until Tuesday morning when I walked into the bathroom to take a shower. There was a fat spider hanging out in it. So, at that point I took the best option. Screw showering. I brushed my teeth and hair and went and got dressed.

Of course, I walked out and informed Mario that there was a fat spider in the shower that required his attention. I decided this guy was a good one for Mario to take care of...he was contained in the shower after all. Less chance of the usual dancing around and loosing him.

Through out the day, as I went into the bathroom, I kept an eye on him. Yes, I had hoped that Mario would go in immediately and take care of the Fatty in the shower. Unfortunately, Mario has a totally different schedule than I do. Knowing that he was contained, I did give him until I needed to take a shower that night. I still reminded him about Fatty every time I came out of the bathroom though. I didn't want him forgetting for one minute about that stinking spider.

By that evening though, Mario still hadn't taken care of Fatty. Trying not to sound like a nag or annoying, however I'm sure failing miserably, I reminded Mario one more time about our resident.

Me "Babe, don't forget about the spider"
Mario "What are you talking about"
Me "Are you kidding me? I've told you about the spider in the shower no less than five times already"
Mario "You did?"
Me "Are we already to that point in our marriage that you have completely stopped hearing a thing I say? That really didn't take long"
Mario "No, I swear you didn't tell me"

Now we know this is a lie...this is a spider we are talking about after all. I will never forget to mention a spider. This is just proof that the man has learned how to tune me completely out. Jerk.

Me "Well, there is a fat spider in the shower that needs to be extinguished. I skipped my shower this morning because he looked at me funny"
Mario "Ok Sweets, I'll go get him" He walks off all pumped up and ready for the kill.

Then walks right back in the living room.

Mario "He's not in there"
Me "Yes he is. He's been in there all day"
Mario "Well, I don't see him"
Me "Can you please go move all the bottles and check around them."

Mario goes back into the bathroom and I hear the obligatory bottle rattling and shifting. Then he comes back out and sits back down at his computer to work.

Me "Um, get him?"
Mario "No, he's just gone. He must have just left."
Me "Babe, spiders don't just leave. He wasn't just visiting. They don't just go home. Besides, he's been stuck in the shower all day long. I don't see how he could all of a sudden learn the trick to getting out of the shower"
Mario "Well, he's not there now. So, don't worry about it"
Me "No, now I really have to worry about it. He could be anywhere in our house. He could be cruising around watching us right now"
Mario "I'm sure he just went back outside. It's ok. You can go take your shower now."
Me "Don't think so. This guy didn't hang out in our shower all day and then decide it was time to go back outside honey. What's the likelihood of him even finding the window again? That is a small window in a big room to that spider. Maybe he went down the drain? Cause I will turn the water on and blast it down the drain to make sure he's gone."
Mario "Yeah, I'm sure he went down the drain"

I'm sure he'd say anything to get me to shut up at this point. Of course, I went to check out the shower myself. I hosed down the whole shower and then took a very fast, very-aware-of-my-surroundings-shower. I don't think I closed my eyes at all for fear of Fatty sneaking up on me. "Surprise! You thought I was gone, didn't you! Ha Ha!"

I know it's been three days, but I still have my eyes peeled. He went somewhere. I want to know where. I just don't think spiders go home. I feel like I'll see Fatty again sometime...hopefully it will be when I flush that little bastard down the drain.

Going to Buffalo

2011-04-04T17:48:00.000-07:00

This weekend was a productive and lazy one. For the most part I was in photo editing purgatory. My ass was on the couch all weekend, with my computer on my lap. Door wide open and a beautiful breeze blowing through. One of my favorite parts of spring. There were really only two things on my list of things to do this weekend, work on the images from my Thursday shoot and go grocery shopping.

To say that we were low on food is an understatement. Lucky for us, we got our veggie delivery on Friday. It kept us going until we got our butts to the store. We actually forgot it was coming until Mario tripped on the box walking out the front door. Except for those veggies, our house was empty. Even the cats only had one can of food left. We were out of toilet paper, toothpaste, condiments, and milk. How we ran out of everything at once, I'm not sure. However, when we got to last of the paper on the only remaining roll of toilet paper, I knew it was time to stop editing and start shopping.

We headed out to the local smart and final. Scored 99% of what we needed. However, as we pulled away, we realized we didn't get the most important thing...cat food. We would face hell on earth if we didn't stop somewhere and pick some food up.

To solve the cat problem, we ended up stopping at Mario's favorite little market for cat food. It's a tiny store with the wickedest meat and deli counter....and an even better BBQ on the weekends. Mario used to basically live there when he worked across the street. I'm sure they miss him...and his daily lunch and dinner orders.

We walked in and first secured the cat food and decided to head to the back to see what they had cooking. Of course they recognized Mario and asked where he'd been. We checked out all of their stuff. I can't tell you how beautiful their meats are. While the chef showed off the cooked stuff, I checked out the steaks and other wondrous meats in the case. Then out of the corner of my ear, I heard him say buffalo ribs. Um, yes please. Spicy sauce coating some pork ribs. So, we ordered a few. Good thing I had been so good for my other two meals, cause dinner is gonna be down and dirty!

As he wrapped up the ribs, I continued looking around. Ooh look at that roast. Oh wow they sell buffalo steaks here...interesting. Might skip that. Oh look at the thick cut bacon and salami! So much stuff I missed out on when I didn't eat meat. So much to make up for! Mario finished up with his BFF and we checked out and headed home.

We unloaded our groceries and absolutely attacked the ribs! Now, it wasn't until I was half way through with my first rib that it occurred to me that my rib was not spicy at all. Why are my buffalo ribs not spicy? Hey wait a minute...Oh! These are actual buffalo ribs! No wonder they looked a little different and tasted a little gamy. Oh they were good, but just not the spicy buffalo ribs I was expecting. I felt a little more like a doofus when it occurred to me that I actually looked at the buffalo steaks and still it hadn't occurred to me even then, that these were not spicy buffalo sauce pork ribs. Bone head!

I do approve though. They were very good. I like them better than beef ribs actually. Bob absolutely approved. The cat who does not eat out of our hand, was attacking me for that buffalo meat. It occurred to me that this is not even something he would have encountered in the wild by any means. However, now that he's gotten that sweet taste of buffalo, I think he's addicted. I can just picture Bob trying to take out a buffalo. He doesn't have any sly stalking moves or any real hunting skills at all...but he sure can kill a bathroom rug like nobody's business.

The last of the weekend faded blissfully away. Bellies full and me back in editing hell. I miss winter already but but can not get enough of that evening spring breeze!

Cows

2011-04-02T13:13:00.000-07:00

Twice. Twice yesterday I was complimented on my weight loss. Two different people told me I was looking like I lost weight. My response? "Oh good, cause I feel like a cow today!"

Of course, now I keep thinking, why didn't I just say "Thanks!" It's simple. Take the compliment. Say Thank you.

But no, I did feel like a cow yesterday, and I said so. However, maybe other people don't want to know this.

The Longest Hour of My Life, Deserve the Longest Blog of My Life

2011-04-01T03:55:00.000-07:00

When I am sick, I want nothing more than to hide under blankets, sleep, throw a pity party, and sleep some more. However, that wasn't happening this time. On this day, I had mister "un-fix-it" man walking around here acting all nice and then making a mess...and then one of Mario's buddies showed up to say hi.

Remember Mario's friend Mister shakes my hand and then goes in for the awkward hug and ends with the big sloppy kiss on the cheek? Well, he decided to stop by and say hi to Mario. Unfortunately, Mario had gotten this last minute job and had only left minutes earlier. I can't do the "he's not here, bye!" even if I wanted to. So, I was proper and invited him in.

When you go to someone's house to visit and your friend isn't there, how long do you stay for? Let me give you a little more to chew on. I am good friends with some of Mario's friends. Some of his friends I can hang out with, go to lunch with, and talk with no problem. I don't know all that well though and he talks about really off stuff. Mario has a lot more patience for him than I do. Don't get me wrong, I don't dislike him, I just can only handle him in small doses.

I invited him in thinking he'd say hi, then hearing Mario was at work, he'd say he had to take off. Nope. He stayed for half an hour. It was pleasant enough, but whole time I was thinking "man I just want to sleep and cough and blow my nose in peace and quiet, so would you just leave already!". Then mister un-fix-it came out and said something about paint drying and he'd be back in an hour. I figured Friend would take this opportunity to leave, seeing I looked miserable (I was totally working the miserable look).

But he didn't. No, he just pushed the pillows on the couch around and made himself more comfortable! NOOO dammit! He kept talking. By the one hour mark, I was in disbelief. Why was he staying? I wasn't the most enthusiastic person to talk to. I was hopped up on meds...thank god or I wouldn't have made it honestly.

Then at the hour and a half mark, mister un-fix-it man came back to put on another coat of paint. At this point I came out of my stupor and finally realized that Friend was still talking about god knows what and I was stuck! How was he still here? What was keeping him here! How do I get him to leave?

Luckily, mister un-fix-it came out again to ask if I wanted to take a look at his work. I flew off the couch! I was gonna look at that bathroom and let my ears take a break! I took every opportunity to take as much time as I could. I pointed out paint drops and this and that and oh that's a cool tool...what is it? oh a hammer...we actually have one of those...please don't make me go back out there and make conversation!

Alas, the bathroom is small and mister un-fix-it was hinting that I should leave, so he could finish making a mess and leave. I hung my head and moped my way back to the couch. I was clear headed enough to grab my phone though. If Friend didn't leave soon, I was going to start sending out Sos messages!

I sat back down on the couch and pulled my blanket up to my chin. Hoping that I would look pathetic enough to get my point across. Nope. He was settled in his cozy spot on the couch and now had my cat cuddling on him...traitor.

Hour two rolled painfully around and mister un-fix-it decided he was finished...was he really finished, no, but he was my only hope of a break from all the talking and I didn't want him to leave. I started feeling desperate. I sent Mario a message "Friend showed up 20 minutes after you left and won't leave! He just keeps talking!...zzzz" His response "sorry babe"...that's it. Jerk. Where was my rescue! His friend has been sitting on our couch for two hours!

Hour three was a blur. There was talk of bikes, his sister the biologist, neuroplasticity (I'm proud to say this was me. I thought if I used big words he'd leave...it didn't work so I shut back up and let him talk), conversation then moved on to a pain relief machine, giving up his office so his kids didn't have to share a room, man they fight, then computer talk, laptop talk, megabytes, gigabytes, japan, more bikes, neighbors dying...talk...talk....talk....I thought about sending another SOS but I had started giving up. How had he been here for three hours! I have never done this! (Well, except last friday when I went out to lunch with friends and then made ourselves at home at our friend's house until something like 9pm. But that's different because her mom was cooking, and we were watching tv, and it was relaxing, and we told her to let us know when we needed to leave...see it's different right?)

There was, however, a ray of sunshine at one point. Friend's phone rang. I love you who ever you were that called! It sounded important. He got up and went outside for privacy. I jumped up and did a happy dance! Woo Hoo!

Then he came back in and sat back down. I very nearly cried. But he was already talking about how he should be at a meeting for the teaching position he would be starting soon. He was talking about computer programs he needed to learn. more computer talk. Basketball talk. My medicine was wearing off now. I really needed to blow my nose...he's been talking for over three hours! Who cares. I let out a big honking nose blow. He was polite enough to pause so I wouldn't miss any of his conversation. How nice.

And then he continued on! And talked through to hour four! Four hours! He ended on a high note though. He encouraged me to look up the area 731 or 734 Japan torture techniques...how wonderful, I think I will. Then he promptly got up and said he needed to pick up the kids from school. Well, don't let me keep you sir...don't want the kids waiting around. Then he moved like he was gonna do the awkward handshake sloppy kiss and paused..."well, I'd give you a hug but you look like you are coming down with something. You might want to catch a nap" Then he was gone...are you f'ing kidding me! Yes, I need a damn nap!

I didn't let it get to me too much though...because finally every one was gone! I sat in the quiet for a few minutes before I sent one last message to Mario letting him know how long his friend had been here.

Me -"Four hours!!!! He was here for four hours!!! He finally left!"

Mario - "I'm sorry to hear that baby. That sounds excruciating!"

Me - "You have no idea"

Mario - "Well, that might have been my fault. I told him to stop by and say hi. Then I got the call for the job and forgot to tell him. Sorry babes"

Are you kidding me!! He's gonna pay for this! I haven't figured out how...but mark my words, I will get back at him...after my nap...

Bathroom Issues

2011-03-30T00:27:00.000-07:00

Our bathroom is being helped. By helped I mean there is a man that comes in and hangs out for half an hour multiple times a week and says he is "repairing" things. Turns out that even with the ~~cat door~~ bathroom window open 24/7, apparently our bathroom doesn't have enough ventilation. We have been noticing the plaster peeling off in spots around the room. Then, there is the lower wall on each side of the shower. There was a leak and now the wall is water damaged. Did you know that plaster poofs up like big cotton balls and falls off the wall when it gets wet? It sure does. Then the mold started showing up on the ceiling. The bathroom has really become a problem.

We let our nice landlord know what was happening. He in turn, hired Louis. Louis is a very nice older gentleman. Always shows up with a smile. The first time he showed up was last week. I showed him all the cracking and peeling and water damage and caulking that was needed and the cabinet that needs to be better fastened to the wall. He brought a bunch of stuff in, scraped some things in the bathroom, got putty all over the bathroom...and I mean all over the bathroom, and then took off. He was here for half an hour. I really thought that he'd be here longer. He didn't really do much. He got about half of the scraping and filling finished...why not do it all though?

So, when he showed up a few days later, I went in with him and went over all the problem areas again. I just want to make sure he will get everything. This time he was here for a whole hour. He did more scraping and filling. He addressed the major water damage under the bathroom sink (this is part of the water damage from the shower...I hope that's the only place the water's coming from at least). After he left I went back in a checked out the work. He still missed some cracks and filling. I was starting to wonder if he was ever gonna finish this part. Had he spent a whole hour or an hour and a half the first time he was here, he could have gotten all the cracks and filling in one swoop. He did recaulk the shower. Yeah...wait, did he scrape out the old caulk? Nope, he just caulked right over the other caulk. Nice. Then I noticed that he still hadn't scraped out the space between the shower and the sink. That's kind of big for me...I've been staring at that eye sore for a long time. He did reassure me he'd get to it though. I decided to check under the sink. Nice. He put some drywall in and spackled it up all pretty. Wait, did he just cover up the damage and not actually scrape out the damaged plaster? Um, looks like it. That is where I became very unimpressed with this seemingly nice man. I can't stand that he's so nice!

So, when he showed up today with paint supplies, I was puzzled. Um, you are really not at that step in the process sir. So, I followed him into the bathroom to go over the list once again. These need to be spackled, that needs to be scraped and filled, that needs to be rehung...should this all be finished before the painting should start? Cause I'm sure it should. But he assured me he'd get it all finished. Half an hour later he came out and said he was finished for now....ugh really?...but he'd be back in an hour when the primer was dry.

There is no way he did all the pre-painting stuff first. I went and took a peek. He had primered the whole bathroom except for the spots he still needed to work on. What's the point of that? Why didn't he just do the work first and paint another day? He showed up an hour later to paint. Of course I followed him back into the bathroom. He was already attacking the paint. What did he tell me? There is too much moisture in the bathroom for the painting...but yet he was still painting and the paint was running down the walls.

So, I left the room. The end result better be finished properly. I know, I only rent, but I still have to live here. I understand there are people who think, who cares it's not my house. I just donn't think that way. I don't like that just because the landlord isn't here overseeing the repairs, he feels like he can cut corners. He even made comments about about if he can finish the wall between the sink and the shower because he might not be able to reach it. Well, he should have taken out the sink and cabinet, repaired the wall and then reinstalled the cabinet and sink.

Of course this was right after he told me that the koreans are taking all the painting jobs and making a mess of them and he gets hired to come in and make it look good...right. I haven't heard the koreans being blamed for taking painting jobs before. Oh well, I'll be on his ass again tomorrow.

And more of the A.D.D. blogging

2011-03-28T16:26:00.000-07:00

Since I've been mostly locked up in the house working, not too much has happened in my life. Therefore, I only have little stories to tell. That's where my A.D.D blogging comes in. From one topic to the next, whatever comes to mind.

1. Man, I feel like I smoked a pack of cigarettes. Last week at Bingo Mario and I both caught a little something. By the time we got into bed, Mario sounded like hell and I had a little post nasal drip. Mario got the worst of it. He's been a snot machine for the last week. Yesterday and today he's finally sounding better. I had hardly much of anything at all. I just had a tiny bit of a sore throat and my lungs hurt. Not bad really...more annoying than anything. Today I woke up and finally the sore throat was gone...woo hoo. Now the little cough and the smokers lung feeling can go.

2. I have a love for crab that I can not explain. Even when I was a strict vegetarian for 14 years, I still made exceptions for crab. That's how much I love it. Screw animal cruelty, give me my crab! Mario has the love for the crab too. But he's never cooked them. He would rather take me to our crab shop and spend the money. Well, I want the crab without spending the dough. With us cutting back on spending he hasn't taken me to my favorite crab house. The only problem is mama knows it's Dungeness crab season and mama wants.

I finally talked Mario into cooking them at home when we were at Costco. They were cheap and I really didn't give him a choice, I just put them in the cart. The next night we cooked them up and devoured...heaven! Now that we know how easy they are to cook, we are doing that from now on. No need to pay an exorbitant amount of money when you can prepare them yourself!

3. With that thought in mind, while looking up cooking instructions for the crab, I found out how easy they are to catch. Hello Ventura pier, net basket, chicken legs, and a bucket. There is a 10 crab limit for the day ...I'm sure I can find friends to help eat the extra two crabs I will be too full to eat.

Why not! I spent my childhood on my uncle's boat fishing. I've been wanting to get back into it. All I need is a fishing license and a good book. Now I need to get Mario on board, cause we only have until June 30 to catch our 10 crab limit per a day!

4. Sunday afternoon Mario turned to me and said "Tonight from 8:30pm to 9:30pm we have to turn off all the lights and electrical stuff to save the earth. I'm going to watch a Hot Tub Time Machine on my iphone"
Me "Doesn't that defeat the purpose?"
Mario "No. Not at all"
Me "We should go for a walk instead"
Mario "Ok that's probably more responsible. A walk sounds good."
Me "Also, that event was yesterday"
Mario "No it wasn't! It's tonight!"
Me "Take a look mister, it was yesterday."
Mario "I don't think so..." Mario looking on the computer...
Mario "ok so it was yesterday"
Me "You've failed the earth. All this technology and you can't keep track on when to turn it off"
Mario "Well, I'm still gonna watch Hot Tub Time Machine on my iphone"
Me "Go for it baby! Way to save the earth!"

5. While visiting a friend, we were checking out her mother's random herb garden. She plants a lot like me. A little of this here, a little of that over there...voila garden!

One of the herbs she grows is rosemary. I love it. Of course, I promptly stole a few springs. But what you don't know is that she does not eat this rosemary she grows. This rosemary is saved for a special purpose. Douching. Yep. She grows this herb for it's beneficial properties to the vag.

So, when we walked through the kitchen and she saw that I had snagged some of her rosemary. She gave me a little knowing smile and then promptly said in spanish "It will make your pussy tight!" Rosemary is forever ruined for me...in a good way...but ruined none the less. I haven't stopped laughing or telling everyone about it. I love a raunchy mother. She has now been added to my list of favorite mothers.

When Child Proofing is Necessary

2011-03-22T03:36:00.000-07:00

When I get ready for bed, I shut the door half way. Not so much for privacy or to keep anyone out, but there are a lot of blinking lights on mario's desk. They happen to flash in my face all night if the door is left wide open.

Of course, it took me a while to figure out exactly what was bugging me, before realizing it was all the flashy lights. It's like a disco in the living room at night. I'm lucky I'm not having seizures with all the strobing. Door half closed though...problem solved.

Why is it then, when the cat decides to come to bed at night, he has to push the door wide open? Why would he even recognize that the door is in his way? I really only shut it half way. There is plenty of room to fit through. Even in their winter fattiness, both cats could fit through side by side at once and still not touch the door.

Bob, however, has figured out doors. He does know how to push a door open. You want privacy in the bathroom, latch that door! He has been known to dramatically fling the bathroom door open. Almost looking like a doctor announcing his arrival to help deliver your baby. God forbid you try to wipe without his supervision.

And if he wants out that front door and you are not accommodating his request of freedom, he will jump up and try to turn the door knob himself. However, he will try and try and try until he has annoyed the shit out of you. Yes the back door is open, but he knows that the only thing standing between him and the front yard is the little turn of the door knob. Thank god we don't have the doorknobs with the long lever handle, I'm sure I'd wake up every morning with the front door wide open because he decided to go out for an early morning stroll. He is so persistant, I'm afraid one day he will figure out how to actually turn the knob.

In the mean time, why is it necessary to fling the bedroom door open when coming to bed? Does it really bother him to have doors partially closed? Do the flashy lights help lull him to sleep? Is this like Marios aversion to empty baskets?

Until tonight I was unsure...then the door flung open and he strolled into the room like he owned the place. I realized that it's not about the door being closed...that little diva likes to make a dramatic entrance. Picture it...the swoosh of the door flinging open...but there's no one at the door! Then you look down to see a cat with a cool attitude walk in with perfect strobing lights as backlighting! That cat knows lighting and has attitude! He is absolutely my cat!

I'm all for the dramatic entrance, but now learn how to shut the damn door!

And so it Continues...

2011-03-17T19:39:00.000-07:00

I know it's all I seem to talk about these days, but I'm back to the shootings...cause I'll be honest, my life is otherwise pretty boring.

One of the very very few benefits to hanging out at the restaurant, is getting to know people. One of those people is one of the local news guys. When he came in this week, I cornered him trying to find out what he knew. Of course he's been in Arizona at the hearing for the shooting of Arizona Representative, so he hadn't heard a thing. However, he has connections. He offered to contact his guy in the police department and find out what he could.

Yesterday I finally got an email from him. This is what his police guy told him...

3/10 – This was a report of shots fired in the area of 128 N. Florence. Officers searched the area and spoke to residents, but no one either heard or saw anything. There were no victims nor evidence of gun shots. This area has a few subjects who are either gang members or gang affiliated. The call was cleared and area checked okay.

3/12 – This was a report of shots fired in the 200 block of N. Florence. Officers searched the area and contacted witnesses who say they saw shots coming from a vehicle driving down Florence street. No one in the area was hit. A few subjects who live in the area were interviewed (they have possible ties to a gang), and all stated they had no idea who the suspects were or could provide a suspect description. A police report was taken to document the incident.

The PD has stepped up area checks in this area and trying to stay highly visible.

My absolute favorite part is how no one saw or heard anything. I love that there was an hour of fighting and yelling outside, then there were screeching tires, gun shots, and multiple calls to the police...but no one heard a thing! Just play dumb and they'll go away!

I really wish I had gone out there. I would have told them about the fighting, car and shots. It just makes me so mad that they could lie and nothing came of it. But I understand no one was hurt, so it doesn't rate too high. We have definitely noticed an increase in police. They are always driving around and I love it! We'll just see what happens this weekend. I feel like this is when they'll come back, if they decide to give it another round.

I did get a hold of the landlord. I told him what had happened and his first questions was..."well, if that happened at my property, why wouldn't they call and tell me?" Um, because they are involved in it! Why would they call and tell you that because of them, your property is being shot at? I'm still not sure he believed me but I told him he just needed to call the Burbank Police and they can answer any questions. By the end of our conversation, he said he would be taking this very seriously. Mario doesn't think it will go any farther. I half agree. However, we'll see. If something doesn't happen this weekend, I will be calling his butt back up and talking to him again.

We are going back and forth between installing cameras on our roof line and just moving out. We don't want to move if we are thinking of buying a place in the next six months, but we sure as hell don't want to stay if this continues.

A.D.D. Blogging

2011-03-14T02:05:00.000-07:00

1) After spending much of the weekend listening to and reading different tutorials on how to make a website in Flash, Dreamweaver, this, that and the other, I finally found a tutorial that I can follow and understand! This is very exciting! Except, that it's a tutorial by a high schooler. I like to think he's incredibly articulate and a natural teacher, however I'm not entirely sure that's the case. Not that he's not articulate and a natural teacher...I just happen to think I'm more on a high school level when it comes to this technical bs.

Most of the tutorials are put together by people who know everything about what they are already doing. The only problem is that they use all these technical terms and techniques. I'm a beginner! I have know idea what you are talking about! Plus like most high schoolers, Mr. High Schooler speaks valley girl. Having been born and raised in California, I speak that language! He has taken that technical jargon and translated it into a language I speak! I hope he has many more lessons I can learn from!

2) Speaking of thinking like a high school boy...I posted a video on facebook of some of the waves and damage occurring in Japan from the earthquake and tsunami. It was intense and scary. Then I watched a video about these dumb guys playing a practical joke on their friend where someone's face ends up right on someone else's bare butt. I was about to post it up on facebook, when it occurred to me it might not be appropriate to post something so immature and tasteless after something so tragic. Yay for my ability to sometimes be an adult!

3) I didn't realize how much the drive-by got to me, until a truck drove by and hit the speed bump a little to hard. There was a loud CRACK as the truck landed hard! I totally ducked. A friend who had come by for a visit, looked at me like I was crazy. He was nice enough not to say anything, but I was thinking I was a little crazy too. However, I am proud that I do have the need to survive and move out of harms way.

4) Then we had drive-by #2 on Saturday night. This time it pissed me off. It pissed off the Burbank police too it seemed. By the time I hung up with 911 and walked outside, the patrol cars were already pulling up out front and the helicopter was already circling overhead. Yeah for Burbank police...now get those jack asses! My life and everyone else who lives on this street is being effected because of the decisions of those a-holes across the street. The decisions that they made are putting my life in danger!

Today when I went outside there was a little girl playing in the front yard. It pissed me off all over again. What if something happens to her! Those that are involved can go shoot themselves all they want, but don't hurt anyone else! Especially a child that has nothing to do with the horrible decision making that you made that led up to this point! However, I'm sure they think they are the only ones involved. They have no clue they are putting all the people on this block in danger.

5) There just happens to be a for rent sign out in front of the offending 4-plex. Not sure how they're gonna rent that apartment with bullets laying around. I called the number on the sign and tried calling the property owner. It was the number to an odd business, so I'm not sure if it's a legit number or not. However, I did leave a long message telling them there have now been two drive-by shootings at their property...check in with the Burbank Police to verify this and get the whole story...please consider evicting these problem tenants...oh and if this in fact the wrong number, I'm sorry. I'm going to try calling again tomorrow and see if I can talk to a person for sure and find out if it's the correct number. I'm now in get those a-holes out mode!

6) I just really hope that the police find the shooters and take care of the jerks across the street. I have a feeling that if the police haven't gotten them already, that they'll be back in the next week for another drive-by. The last time they shot up a car...what's next? Now they all make sure to park their cars away from the front of their house...but now there's nothing in between them and the shooters.

What's creepy is how they keep all the lights out. What used to be lit up with christmas lights and porch lights is completely dark. What's creepier is seeing the shadow of their look out sitting out there watching. Creepy! I don't like it.

Ok this went from ADD blogging to Crime Stop...I'm done for now!

Things That Make Your Blood Pressure Explode!

2011-03-11T02:59:00.000-08:00

There have been a few things in the last few days that have made my blood pressure raise a little bit. Some odd interactions with a friend...and oh the drive by shooting that just happened outside my house!

Our cute little Burbank went gangsta tonight people! Burbank isn't free from crime, but when you read the police blotter, it's stolen catalytic converters...not shootings! We apparently don't live in that cute catalytic converter stealing part of Burbank any more though. We live in the ghetto!

Overall, we live in a pretty quiet neighborhood. Most of it is clean and quiet. I enjoy it here. I feel safe. The only thing I can really complain about is how we will never be able to afford a house around here...oh, and those noisy neighbors across the street.

When we moved in, the mail lady told us right away that it was a good neighborhood. However, she wouldn't leave packages out because she didn't trust the group of people that lived across the street. We had already spotted them and had been keeping an eye on them. They seemed more of an annoyance than anything. Loud, rude, messy, disrespectful. They didn't seem like any real trouble, they seem more like posers playing the part.

Lately though, they've been a bit louder. There have been more people hanging around a couple of the houses across the street. I don't even park on our street any more, because I don't like how they hang out and watch things. They have that look like they think they own the street. I'd rather just avoid it all together.

Tonight, Mario and I were both working quietly away on our computers. We heard a bit of the normal yelling out there. At one point I thought I heard someone yell "get her!" but it sounded more like a "grab the baby before she runs into the street" kind of "get her". But the random yelling seemed to kind of keep going. It sounded like machismo guys talking shit. It was more annoying than anything. The thought crossed my mind to call the police, but I didn't know if I was acting more like an old fuddy-duddy. Those rascals across the street are causing a ruckus over there! Who do they think they are!

But when I looked up at Mario and noticed that he was listening too, I realized it obviously wasn't just me. It felt like it was escalating a little. Mario asked if I wanted to call the police. I couldn't really justify calling them though. I would just be calling the non emergency line to complain.

We were quiet for just a minute longer, when we heard a car screech up and then "POP, POP....POP POP POP POP!" I froze and ducked down a bit. I looked at Mario and said "Those were gunshots! Tell me that was a car backfiring!" Even though I know a car can't back fire like that. Then the car sped off. There was a bit more yelling and then there was complete silence.

You can bet the sound of those gunshots sealed the deal about calling the cops! I looked out the front door and started calling. When I was finally put through, I was told that they had just got a similar call. I gave them all my information and waited.

It was so quiet outside! Everyone had taken off. No one seemed to be hurt. I didn't see any ambulances. We've had regular patrols going by since. It did sound like they might have found the car driving around, we could hear a helicopter and a few sirens. It's weird though, I hate that our little neighborhood feels fucked up now. It definitely doesn't feel as safe here...and that sucks! This is the reason we don't live in Los Angeles! This is why we chose Burbank. It's more family friendly and mellow. Sundays around here the streets feel deserted. After 10pm the whole town shuts down. It just sucks that these assholes have to bring that here!

What's worse is I feel like this neighborhood isn't safe any more and we should move, but what about the poor families that live with this nightly and can't afford to move? It makes me realize how sheltered I really am.

Of course Mario is concerned but nonchalant. He's grown up in and around LA. He had that look of "well that's what happens around LA" but then said "looks like we'll be moving sooner rather than later". Then he asked me to move the cat scratcher over, so the living room looks nice for the police officers if they come in. Really? There was a shooting not 30 yards away, and you are thinking you don't want the officers to think we are slobs? I really don't think that will be a problem babe.

What Happened to Me!

2011-03-09T03:00:00.000-08:00

Ok so get this...I have been exercising! I know, hard to believe! There are multiple things at play here. First, my dieting wasn't going great. I have been good still but not great. I wasn't loosing weight. So, I decided I needed to add in some healthy activities. Walking it is. Second, I am trying to make going back to work for a friend harder if not impossible. So, I took advantage of said athletically enthusiastic friend and told her she had to walk with me.

I searched the internet looking for nice places to walk. Do you know it's impossible to find any cool places to walk around here? I cross searched Google maps and mapmywalk.com to find some place relatively cool places around here. If I'm going to be sweating and using muscles I haven't used in a few years, I might as well be looking at something pretty...cause let's face it, Los Angeles is ugly. It's a cement jungle. I searched and searched for somewhere interesting to walk. We have the Santa Monica mountains. We have Griffith Park just down the street. We have beaches. We have lakes...wait, LA has lakes?

I am a water person. I love to be at the beach. So, I zoomed in on the Google maps looking for water. I found reservoirs, ponds, creeks, and any blue spot on the map I could find, I looked at. I found a local "lake" that I hadn't been to in a while...ok it's a largish pond. I also found a couple of reservoirs. I found a nice looking hike in the Griffith park. I also found a nice little walk to the Hollywood sign. Turns out if you look, there are a couple of decent places to walk around here.

We started by walking around the Rose Bowl on day one. No water, but awesome setting. Tons of people walking and running. The weather was beautiful. I went from couch to 5k. Can I tell you my hips were sore, my thighs were sore, my calves were sore, the tops of my feet were sore...really? Even the tops of my feet are out of shape? Guess so. It was fun though.

To recuperate, we drove around and checked out some of the other spots that looked interesting on the map. We checked out a reservoir that turned out not to be a reservoir at all...cross that spot off the list. Then we checked the spot in Griffith park...that spot looks like it should be nice. I'm excited to walk it when I'm in a little better shape.

Day two, we headed to Lake Balboa. Lake is used loosely. It does sound better than "Kinda Big Pond Balboa" though. It's a little over one mile around the pond. Lots of ducks, people, and cherry blossom trees. It was really nice. However, my body was reminding me that I had only worked out one day and my muscles weren't quite ready for all this shocking movement called walking. I figured I'd loosen up as we went...my body said not quite yet. Add in the swarms of gnats strategically placed around the lake and also the fact that Colleen was still fighting a cold. We only made it around once before we decided that it would be a light day of walking.

So, we decided to use the next couple of hours to check out a few more spots to walk. On the list today was Encino Reservoir and Hollywood Reservoir. Encino was fun to look for. We knew we were close. Google maps told us we were close. Actually catch a glimpse of the water? Not a chance. We couldn't find any way into the area. We made a few passes at it before we gave up. I decided some more internet research was in order. I would figure this out! It looked like such a nice spot to walk!

The Hollywood Reservoir was kind of on the way home. Meaning that it wasn't on the way home at all but being only a couple mile from my house, we couldn't not go look for it. From what I had read online about it, my expectations were low. We were very very pleasantly surprised!

It was beautiful! It took a bit trying to get to the correct entrance, but we made it and it was great. The lake is beautiful...and yes this is definitely more like a lake. There is a great view of the Hollywood sign. The weather was awesome. We ended up walking a little bit around it to check it out. It's only a few miles around the lake. However, part of the trail is closed off due to land slides. So, to walk from one end to the other and back is 4 miles or so. We went a little while before my bladder decided we had walked far enough. We turned around and headed back. I was so excited about this spot!

I have lived in Burbank for 4 years, I had no idea this lake was minutes from my house! I can't wait to bring my bike out and ride around. It is most definitely on the list of places for us to walk. Now, if you have seen "It Happen One Night" with Clark Gable and Claudette Colbert, you have seen around Lake Hollywood. The famous hitchhiking scene was filmed there.

When I got home later that night I was exhausted. When I mapped out our walk around Lake Hollywood, it turned out that added another 2 miles to our distance for that day...nice! What we thought was going to be a lazy day, turned out to be a nice workout!

View from the damn

You can almost tell how sore my muscles are by the look on my face...but I was excited about the Hollywood sign far off in the distance...you know, the blurry blob above Colleen's head.

This is a better shot.

I have walked a few more times and am enjoying it for sure. We invited my sister in law to walk with us at a local park on Sunday...not doing that again! That shorty walks way to fast! Her legs are shorter than mine...but so much faster!! It was torture! Now that my muscles have recuperated I can say that I probably needed that push. I even went back and walked by myself yesterday. Although, I did find that it's easier to walk when you have people talking and distracting you from the muscles screaming in your head. I know quit whining...I'm already noticing the difference in my clothes...can't complain about that!

Locked up

2011-02-28T16:36:00.000-08:00

Can we talk about being locked up in a very small apartment with my cats. With a wonderful two days of rain, Mario and I decided hibernate. We stayed in all weekend and enjoyed it. Mario learned a new 3D program and I worked on my website. It was lazy and productive all at the same time.

We left our little cave only once to pick up a few things at the store. We were lucky we did too...for we found a half mile in Burbank covered in snow. Snow is so unheard of here that everyone was out of their houses and making snowmen. Dogs were running around and playing. And of course the news vans were out filming. It was surreal really. It looked like a movie set. It was fun though.

Alas, we did our shopping and headed back home to the cats. Our cozy, lazy cats. However, by the end of the weekend, they were extremely bored cats. Under most circumstances cats are supposed to be independent and aloof. Our cats aren't.

We have bi-polar cats. While one is needy and cuddly. The other is an asshole. Bob loves to be held...no demands to be held. Bob will walk over and sit on what ever you are paying more attention to. He's such an attention whore, that he will fall over in front of you to trip you while you walk. He's got moves you've never seen in another attention whores. He's really taken it to a new level.

On the other hand we have the asshole Dexter. Like I have described in past blogs, he's a bit of a jerk. He doesn't want you to touch him, he doesn't want you to look at him, he doesn't like when I talk to him. When I do, he looks at me with the "God, you annoy me" look. Then he adds in the "come any closer and I'll cut you" tail flick.

However, at the end of a long weekend locked up in doors, they are both bored out of their minds. Guess who is in charge of entertaining them? Both of these brats sit right in front of me and just stare at me. Of course I oblige...I have never won a cat staring contest. So, we play fetch and attack...and they are happy.

Sunday night ended with Bob acting like a spoiled brat and Dexter with an attitude.

I love that he doesn't want me touching him, but he'll hit me with his tail and then get mad at me for touching me.

"Was that girl just sucking on your earlobe?"

2011-02-25T13:56:00.000-08:00

One thing I never thought I would ask one of the servers at the restaurant.

Bingo Tuesday was pretty big this week. We had a full house and I was the only person there to run it. I had been sick the weekend before, Rene was now sick as a dog, and Mario had spilled his dinner down the front of him and had to run home to change. So, I was sitting waiting for someone...anyone to help with Bingo.

More and more people were showing up and asking if Bingo was a go. I was sitting at one of the back tables waiting for Mario to make his entrance. A cute brunette in her early thirties walk in...well stumbled in. She sat the table two tables in front of me and started ordering. She was a loud talker. She was talking to a lot of people around...well mostly the single men around. I wasn't paying too much attention really.

That is until I saw her get up and almost walk into the wall. Then I couldn't stop watching. If someone was gonna make a fool of herself and it wasn't me...then I wanted to watch! I saw her get up and disappear for a bit...presumable the bathroom. Then she stumbled back...almost running into the same wall as before. She sat back down and started talking to herself and those around her again. I decided to make a run to the restroom before Bingo started. On my way back, I got a closer look. The few men she was talking to looked a little mortified in that "please stop talking to me very drunk stranger" kind of way.

As I started setting up the Bingo gear behind her, I heard her talking about how good looking he was...who he was I don't know. The older gentleman that she had been talking to was good looking but didn't really seem her type. The only other options were Rolando or our young Edgar. Edgar is adorable but was avoiding her like the plague. That only left Rolly. He's cute. Not necessarily who I would have thought this young hot chick would go after, but she was wearing beer goggles after all.

I sat back in my seat just in time to watch drunk hottie to ask Rolly to come closer. She had something to tell him. He leaned in very close. Very very close. She whispered...well really loud whispered something to the effect of "How bout you and I meet in the bathroom and I screw your brains out". Then I heard slurping noises!

Then I saw him lean in a bit more! However, that's when he must have remembered 1)he is in a crowded restaurant 2) he is married with children and a brand new baby...cause he jumped back. His response to her proposition of the back room conjugal visit? I'm working right now. I'm working right now!

Of course, it was Bingo time. Eventually, she stumbled out. Mario and Rene stumbled in and the event was forgotten in all the extreme excitement of our Tuesday Bingo at Theresas! But as soon as all the customers cleared out, I attacked Rolly with questions. Was that girl sucking on your earlobe! What did she say? Did she proposition you?

I had mentioned what had happened to Rene and Mario earlier, but apparently they must have misunderstood what I was telling them. Because when they were finally listening to my questioning, they were shocked. I couldn't stop laughing. Of course being the cool guy that Rolando is, he acted like he was hot stuff...drunk girls suck on my earlobe all the time! Customers always proposition me!

I'm still shocked at his response though...I'm working right now. Of course all the guys there defended him and said he was shocked that she asked and you just say what first comes to your head, blah blah blah. My first thought would be...I'm married! I just told him to make sure if he tells his wife that he better come up with something better than "I'm busy right now".

Terror 2011!

2011-02-23T19:43:00.000-08:00

Today I was on a nice phone call with my cousin. We were laughing and joking around, when I heard a noise. Initially, I couldn't decide if the noise was a child or an animal. But as we talked on, I realized it was one of the cats.

It actually sounded like Bob. Every once in a while he gets a wild hair up his butt and starts a little crazy howling. But this didn't quite sound right. It was a little different. So, I got up and looked out the bathroom window. There Dexter was sitting on the fence looking quite terrified...and he was looking at the ground. I couldn't see the ground or who was on it, but that's where the howling was coming from.

I turned around and started running for the back door. I could only imagine that Bob had fallen off the fence and gotten hurt. However, as I hit the living room, I realized that Bob was laying on the couch with Mario. So, who the hell was in the back yard?

When I got to the back yard, there was a cute cat sitting there. Howling at Dexter on the fence. Then it occurred to me that it was Egon from next door. This cat looked a little bigger than her though. She was all poofed up and looking tough. However, in all her poofed up glory, she was still half the size of Dexter...who I might add was still terrified and trapped on the fence by this cute little poofed up kitten. Yeah, our cats are tough.

With Mario and trying to decide if this was really little Egon, Bob decided to come out and join the fun. However, the minute he saw Egon sitting in our backyard, he high tailed it right back into the house. This was definitely Egon. Apparently he has learned from past ass kickings that this cute little girl was not to be messed with. Hearing the slight chaos outside, our neighbor Monica, yelled from her fence that she'd come get her cat.

Egon went home. But all was not normal. Dexter and Bob have been shaken. The enemy was on their property. Dexter came in and cuddled up by me and licked my hand...he is not a lovey cuddly cat...however, I might thank Egon for this new show of love. It's now hours later. Bob and Dexter have been taking turns keeping watch making sure the evil kitten from next door doesn't come in...they're pathetic.

Keeping watch and making sure no one comes in through their window!

Emergency!

2011-02-15T13:24:00.000-08:00

Today I was craving oatmeal. So, I gots my water boiling in the pot. I gots my oatmeal measured out. Threw the oatmeal in the pan. Thew on the lid. Started cutting up my banana. Then stood three feet away from the stove and was talking to my mother in law. All of a sudden Mario yells, "Honey, your cup runneth over! Your cup runneth over!" "

I thought he was being very sweet...well a little dramatic with the yelling but sweet none the less. But then he started the pointing. And I realized that my oatmeal was in fact boiling over. So much for being sweet.

Your cup runneth over...really? Not "Holy shit honey your water's boiling". Apparently Mario has been classically trained in emergency alerts.

Randomness

2011-02-11T01:33:00.000-08:00

1. Twice this week I sent text messages to a friend and did not get any response. Tonight I was very surprised when I sent her a message letting her know Mario and I were going for sushi and would she like to come with and got no response. I wasn't surprised that maybe she couldn't go, but I was surprised that I didn't a text message back saying "screw you for going without me".

That is I was surprised until Mario received a text message from me half way through dinner saying "Hey lady we're going for sushi...wanna join?" Mario wasn't thrilled being called Lady.

2. Came this close to telling Rene to shove the manager gig tonight. Her lack of ambition, work, leadership, pride, etc., etc, etc. was killing me today. I asked her to do something quite simple a week ago. I also asked her to look at some papers 6 months ago and also again a week ago. She had a list of three simple phone calls to make today....She didn't do any of these things! No she wasn't too busy, no she wasn't swamped, she just didn't do it. All of these things could have been taken care of within two hours. I think she finally saw how on the verge of quitting I was or maybe she was tired of me telling her to get it together over and over....but she finally did something. And then went so far as to decide to close down for a night and have all the cooks in for a meeting and have them tear apart the kitchen...I am beyond excited about that. They really need a kick in the ass!

However, we will see if she actually finishes off the rest of the list. Luckily I made a deal with her. The more shit she does, the more I will do. Hopefully I have her by the balls...probably not.

3. I just found out that the house from my favorite movie is located just blocks from my apartment on the Warner Brother Ranch. I have gotten a tour of the lot. I have been in the Walten house. I cruised around where Pee Wee Herman ran around. I have sat on the Friends fountain from the opening credits. I have very likely walked by the house from "National Lampoons Christmas Vacation". Only I didn't know this was the house because I was fooled by the lack of snow and more importantly the lack of Christmas lights! Something I need to check out, is if the homes from all the Vacation movies are the same. I'm hoping I have not been led astray and the house is not from one of the other movies...don't get me wrong, I'm still way excited by it, but Christmas Vacation house is totally my favorite!

4. Bob has officially taken advantage of Mario's new schedule and has made Mario his bitch. Bob demands to be held by Mario all the time! Mario is constantly trying to deflect Bob and his need to be held at all times. Bob has noticed the deflecting and resorted to sneak attacks. Just as Mario stands up, Bob will launch himself on Mario from the top of the fridge or from the couch. He only likes to be held one way and one way only...

So Mario tortures him the only way he knows how...

"Oh god...make it stop!"

An Umbrella Did This?

2011-02-09T18:46:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago, we walked out of our apartment to find a big news paper on the lawn in front of our door. We just left it. We hadn't ordered the paper and we didn't want to steal someone else's paper because the paper boy had bad aim. So, we left it there...for three days. Mario finally went over and picked it up when it looked like no one else was going to claim it.

The next weekend, we received a paper on Saturday and on Sunday. Knowing that no one was going to claim these papers either, Mario threw them out. Grumbling the whole time about how the paper boy was a bonehead throwing these papers in front of our door. "What a waste!"

The next weekend, the papers showed up again. Mario was irritated again. "Why do they not understand that we shouldn't be getting this paper! They are just making a mess in the grass and I have to throw them away!" "We'll," I said, "Why don't you just call up the paper company a let them know there's a mistake?" Of course he didn't.

When another weekend came, so did these newspapers. I waited for old man Mario to grouch about the newspapers yet again...but he didn't. I guess he just assumed that they were there for good. It was such a change from the previous weekends.

Cut to yesterday. Mario was off running an errand and had forgotten a paper at home. So, he called to ask if I would scan in the paper and email to him. He told me the paper was in a small stack of papers in the cabinet. So, I pull the papers out and start looking for the paper he needed. I couldn't find it...but what did I find? A order form for the local newspaper for 20 weeks...SIGNED BY MARIO!!!

He had spent the previous three weeks bitching and moaning about some bonehead leaving this newspaper on his lawn and HE WAS THE BONEHEAD! When I asked him about it, he casually said "oh yeah I forgot about that"...and then he added, "Well, ma needed an umbrella and if I signed up for the paper, they'd give me a $25 gift card. So, I bought her an umbrella." Really? This all started because you're mom needed an umbrella?" Then he said, "Well, it was a really cool umbrella and she loved it."

I'm glad Isabelle got a new cool umbrella, but if he is having the newspaper delivered, he better start reading it!

Revival

2011-02-07T16:21:00.000-08:00

Our outdoor furniture cushions died last summer. We have looked at so many cushion replacements in stores and online, but nothing was working for us style or price-wise. The cute ones were too expensive and the cheaper cushions were not cooshy enough.

So while our cushions looked like hell, they were super thick. So, we just covered them with beach towels and pretended that no one noticed how messed up they were.

We discussed recovering them ourselves, but I had tried something similar before and it was a mess. It started looking like recovering was our only option though. Finally, I got over my past failures and put the impending project in perspective. Just make big pillowcases for the cushions!

Everything fell into place while we were at the fabric store last week. The clearance fabric section called to us from a far. We took a quick look and actually found a bunch of cute outdoor fabrics. It was a good idea for the later on down the road. We were there for some other reason, we'd come back for the outdoor fabric later. Reality set in though and mid way through the checkout, we realized that we weren't going to see that fabric for those prices again!

$30 bucks and 6 yards later we headed home. With our Anti Super Bowl party looming, I got to work on those cushions! I measured those bastards 5 times, drew out diagrams, measured more and then finally started cutting. Three hours later, I had four made and they looked cute!

I'm so happy with the results...and even happier with the cost. To recover four cushions, it only cost us what it would cost to buy one new cushion...what a deal!

As of today they have been road tested and already smell of camp fire. Our Anti Super Bowl Party went well. The cushions held up so well and looked so cute dressing up the back yard a bit! All the baby back ribs were devoured, Guacamole and sausage dip were finished off, and there was just enough of my pasta salad left over for my mother in law's lunch...although I was ready to fight her for it!

PMS Brain

2011-02-01T15:50:00.000-08:00

Someone really needs to keep an eye on me while I'm on my period. I was alright for the most part. Usually the worst of it is at the beginning. So, I thought I had sailed through without any major issues. However, my stupid day hit me square in the face yesterday. I was a complete idiot. I had zero attention span. Just trying to find a parking spot was a trial. As I was driving to the lower levels of this parking garage, I was telling a story about my mom to Colleen.

Colleen pops up with "You just passed two parking spots".
Me "Shit. Well, I'll just go down one more level and park next to the stairs there"

I immediately start talking again and pass right by all the prime parking spots.

Colleen "You are passing all the parking spots!"
Me "Dammit! It's like I can't do two things at once!"
Colleen "Just park it"
Me (mostly in my head and about every other word out-loud) "I can pull forward...or back into there...but I have to back up to get in there...I'll just pull in there"
Colleen "Just park in the middle!"
Me "I am not going to do that cause, I'm not going to be one of those jerks"
Colleen "Why not, it's the way to do it"

What I didn't realize was that there were three parking spots in front of me and she was telling to just aim for the middle parking spot and we'd quickly be on our way to sushi. I, on the other hand, was only thinking of the two parking spots that I was trying to choose between and I was not going to be one of those assholes who takes up two spots. Yeah, the obvious was not at all obvious to me! I was just out of it.

Later, Mario and I were headed to the store. Just as we crossed an intersection, out of the corner of my eye I see the huge truck next to me swerve towards us. I screamed "Oh my god!" Then actually looked at where he was and said "oh I guess he really wasn't that close to us" Mario just looked at me and said "Maybe I'll drive home." It was probably a good idea.

Today, however, was where there could have been a real problem. Mario ran over to his mom's house to move some things around and I was left to my own devises. I jumped in the shower...my main brainstorming time...and was thinking yet again that I needed a haircut. No I was obsessing on this. It's just a mess. It's only fit for a ponytail or a messy bun...only lazy hair-dos. My hair is just too out of control to deal with. It's gotten longer than it's been in a long time. I would love to have long hair but it just doesn't work on me and of course a sexy new haircut is not in the budget right now. So PMS brain convinced me that I could just cut my own hair. Sure, no problem. Well, rational brain said "no way in hell are you cutting your own hair. You'll F it all up." PMS brain being the convincing little vixen that she is said "It will be cute and you really need to cut off those split ends! Worst case it ends up back in a pony tail" Well, rational brain gave in a little bit and then realized that the after the last cute cut, the front was way longer than the back. With the cute cut it worked. Now that my hair is longer, it doesn't work so much. So, I jumped out of the shower grabbed some scissors
and started cutting. I was a lot more relaxed about it all than I normally would be and I think because of that, it went well. I was mostly finished, when PMS brain pipped up again and said "You know bangs would be super cute!" But luckily rational brain stepped in and said "you're pushing it bitch".

Many More Changes

2011-01-30T16:26:00.000-08:00

Lately, I have only been offering my services to the restaurant once a week. I usually go in a few hours early on days when we call Bingo and do some work for Rene. The problem I've been having, is that for the last almost year that I've been helping out and doing all this marketing for them, they have not made any very essential changes on their end. They think that if they just get people in, all will be good. We have spent many many hours talking about so many changes that could be made to save money, increase profit, make far better home made food, and get the employees working for her instead of against her. However, not one thing has been done on her part. Can I tell you how discouraging it is to be the only one trying to build someone else's business?

When I come in, she always starts with "Laura, I need more people in here. Can you do more marketing?" My answer is always the same. It doesn't matter how many people I get to come in here, you need to make better quality food and exceptional customer service to keep them here. You are never going to make money if employees are stealing food or money from you. Advertising is not what is going to save your business. It's your reputation that is going to save your business. I can go on and on, but nothing changes. I have been very honest with her about that also. I told her I can only give her as much as she gives to her business.

After many many problems in the restaurant, things finally came to a head this week. One of Rene's best friends, who she trusts immensely, came in to help her with some organizing (organizing that me and four other people have helped her with previously). While she was there she really saw the laziness that goes on there with the owners and employees. It's so evident that the owners are not managers. Rene is passive aggressive and Bob just wants to be everyone's best friend. Neither are running that place. Rene's friend, Marie, really got a good look at what could be and what should be going on there. And after many hours of some hard core honest talking, Marie told Rene that she needs to hire a manager and I should be that manager. Um...great.

So, somehow I have been suggested for this role. I agreed to it only under certain conditions. That I have power to make changes and she backs those changes. I will absolutely run every thing past her and Bob, but that if we choose to do it, I need back up in them. I don't mind being the hard ass at all. But the only way this business is going to make it through the year, is if they make serious changes.

They've even been taking advantage of Mario's culinary schooling. Mario has taught the cooks how to make an amazing fresh marinara and also a meat sauce, instead of canned sauce. He also taught them how to cook fish this week. They don't cook a nice fish. The over-cook am unseasoned hockey puck. It was great to see some of the cooks interested in the cooking and learning. One of the cooks even said that he enjoys cooking, but finds it discouraging when no one else there gives a crap. We'll be using Mario more this week. He's been assessing the kitchen and it needs a complete reorganization and cleaning, plus we need to do a full inventory of food. It's going to be one long week, but it has to be done. Bob will probably be the biggest problem with the kitchen. He built that kitchen and thinks it's the only thing running well in that restaurant.

So, I have a long road ahead of me. I am only going to work part time. My business will still absolutely come first. I really don't want to do this for more than a year. I feel like these changes can all happen in a year. If no changes happen, I really don't see how they can stay open for more than that. Wish me luck! I am very positive, but feel like I have a big fight ahead of me.

Joining a Book Club

2011-01-28T03:18:00.000-08:00

I have been so excited about the book club I joined! The first meeting is this Sunday and I can't wait to meet all these new people! I have been reading the book and really liking it. I almost don't want it to end. I also can't wait to find out what the next book will be. Can you see I'm excited!

Well, until the last week or so. The problem that the club is running into is the amount of people that have signed up for it. I think I was the third person to sign up. A week later, there was hundred people signed up! That's cool. I love that there are so many people interested. However, where and how are we all going to meet? That seems to be the main problem.

I think the club coordinator only expected a few people to sign up. Surely she didn't expect 100 people signing up so fast, but everyone's excited and jumped on it! She initially set up the first meeting for 10 to meet at her house. With so many people on the list still, I offered to maybe set us up at the restaurant, so more people can meet. Maybe we can have 20-30 people meet up instead of just ten. She must have thought it over, because a week later, she found a restaurant to have it at instead. Yay, more people!

The only problem is that a lot of people still really want to meet up. There are tons of messages from the people who didn't make it into the initial meeting wanting to meet up. That's the whole reason we all joined the club. It's getting to meet up and discuss the books we love. It's the whole point right? Well, these people are putting up little messages about meeting up another time. So, I again suggested that I have a spot that has room for quite a bit of people. If they are interested I can set it up. A lot of people really liked the idea.

Except for one person...the club coordinator. She apparently thought that I was trying to take people away from her club. Um, nope. I am willing to set up a place for people to meet, but I won't be there. I am going to the main book meeting with her. So, I sent her another message just letting her know that wasn't my intention at all. I just wanted to make sure the people who still wanted to meet, could. It's the whole point.

I got a private message back from her explaining that she works really hard to coordinate all of this and the money to post the club on the site came out of her pocket (it's $6 a month). So she didn't want the club to split in two because it was her club and she wanted it to be one group. Not everyone could meet but that's how it would have to be. Then she said it was ok for people to meet up but that she didn't want them to be their own group cause it was her group. It felt a little weird. And maybe a little bit "They are all mine! Stay away!" I'm a little confused by the whole thing and a little bummed. If it's about the money, just charge everyone 50 cents and you're whole subscription is covered.

I know that I joined this group to be able to meet people. I lucked out when I signed up. I was able to rsvp for the meeting before most of the other people. But next month when the meeting is set up, I might not sign in on time and there might not be space in the meeting. I would be bummed if a little side group couldn't meet and chat. So, I don't understand why she's having a problem with other little groups meeting up. It is the whole point!

I'm also uncomfortable because she's now deleted all my messages off the message board. I'm not sure where this all went wrong but I'm bummed! I swear I just mentioned that I knew a spot if people wanted a place to meet. They certainly can meet any where they want and most likely will. Maybe I should have just kept quiet. I don't know. I haven't responded to her last message, because I wanted to wait and see if I felt different today. I'll probably just leave it be and let the other people deal with it. I'm sure I'm not the only one she's talking to about this...I hope not at least.

Mario thinks I should just start up my own book club. I don't know. Anyone want to join my little book club?

I loves a good mystery!

2011-01-27T03:57:00.000-08:00

Last night as Mario and I pulled into the garage, Mario reached down into the console for the something and pulled up a hotel key card. We both stared at each other completely dumbfounded.

Mario immediately said, "What the hell is this?"
My response was, "Look if you are going to cheat, you're gonna have to be a little more careful where you leave the evidence babe."
Mario "Where did this even come from."
Me "You should tell your girlfriend to be more careful too then"

But then we really started wondering where this hotel key came from.

Me "The Hampton Inns. We have never stayed at the Hampton Inns".
Mario " Was the timeshare we stayed in San Diego last summer a Hampton Inn?"
Me "Oh, maybe. Well no, the timeshare was Wyndham and we didn't even drive this car down there."
Mario "hmm"
Me " Well, maybe it was your mom. You did run her on some errands last week."
Mario "When was the last time my mom was actually in a hotel room?"
Me "Who knows what she does when we are all working. Maybe she has some sordid sex life?"
Mario stared at me in silence.

As we walked inside I could see Mario was already moving on. "Do you think it was from Aurthur? You two were running around a few weeks ago. Maybe he dropped it"
Mario "No, I would have noticed it. I cleaned out my car last week. No one else has been in my car"
Me "Hmm"

I was a bit obsessed though. I fancy myself a bit of a spy. Ok, not at all, but I totally want to be one when I grow up. I just don't have a damn logical bone in my body. However, this was my chance! I would solve the mystery of the magically appearing hotel key!.

So, I obsessed on this stinking key while I wrote yesterday's bloggy. Which meant that it took much longer to write up than was really necessary. And also meant that it took me 15 paragraphs just to say "yay, we lost weight!" While I typed, it ran around my mind a bit. Did Mario drive someone home from the party at work on Friday? No, he walked. Maybe it's been in the car for months and we didn't notice it? No, Mario is the super car cleaner...a little on the OCD side when it comes to his car. He'd notice.

So, I pulled up a map to see where the closest one was to us. Hmm, close to the airport. Oh! We picked up Katie's parents at the airport. We lent them Mario's car for a week after the baby was born! But they stayed at Katie's house. They weren't even in the area for two hours. Maybe they stayed at a Hampton Inn in Minnesota before then came? Nope.

Finally, an hour later it hit me and I started screaming, "OH! IT WAS KATIE! IT WAS KATIE! KATIE HAD TO STAY AT A HOTEL AFTER THE BABY WAS BORN WHEN JOEY GOT SICK! SHE MUST HAVE USED OUR CAR AND LEFT THE KEY IN THE CONSOLE!"

Mario was obviously way over it and had totally moved on, "oh yeah, that's probably it"
Me "Well, it's good to know we didn't cheat on each other. That was kind of a sloppy move leaving the key card in the car"
Mario "you're weird"

Victory!

2011-01-26T02:47:00.000-08:00

We didn't have a scale in our house. Maybe that's part of our problem around here. No scale and the weight is easy to ignore, right? Well, today, we finally finally received the scale we ordered online.

Mario and I have been on our little diet/calorie watch for about three weeks or so. We've been good and bad and we have learned. We have one cheat day a week, but we don't go crazy. Most of all we just try to keep in check. It's so interesting so see how many calories are in the food we eat every day. Mario was amazed to learn that one glass of lingonberry juice at Ikea, that he loves so much, is actually 300 calories. That was a real eye opener. Otherwise, we've really not been too bad. We've made sure we have our shit load of veggie soup and salad in the fridge to munch on when we are hungry. So, far we haven't starved or deprived.

So, anyway, with the arrival on our new scale, we were excited. I had an estimate of what I weighed in my head. I know what I was weighing in at the gym at the beginning of last summer. Although, I am sure I gained some weight since then. Thank you holidays.

Mario wasn't home when the scale arrived, so I tore open the box and hopped on. All of a sudden I heard a "Hello". I jumped. This scale talks. This scale has a lady voice. I'll be pissed if this bitch makes fun of me. But then apparently she prepared herself for the impending doom of me stepping on and very pleasantly said "I'm ready". Uh, ok. I stepped on and she was quiet. I killed her. Then she told me my magical number. Ten pounds down from the number in my head!!! I've probably lost a little more though because, I know I had gained some weight over the summer. Still! I'll take ten pounds!

Now here's the question. If I didn't actually weigh myself when we started this fun adventure, do I still get credit for the supposed ten pound weight loss? Can I really claim it? It could be more. It could be less(although I highly doubt it. I had totally chubbed up more). I would love to claim more but since I was set on this number, I'm sticking to it. What do ya think?

Mario on the other hand was about 20 pounds less than what I thought he'd be. He swears that when he stepped on the scale she said "Oh - My - God!"...I didn't hear it. I do think he's totally loosing weight though. His face is a bit thinner, his legs are thinner, and his belly is getting jiggly. Yes like Santa. His tummy used to be pretty firm. Most of the time, one would want a firm tummy. However, I read that this is totally normal. When you loose weight, your body starts burning stored fat. But it goes after the intramuscular fat first. That's the fat marbled inside the muscles. That intramuscular fat is like the anchor to the outside fat. So without the anchor, the rest of the fat gets jigglier and wigglier and loosens up. So it's a good thing. Next the body will start burning that outer stored fat. Make sense? I hate to say it but I hope I'm getting jigglier too.

Anyway, the scale came at the perfect time. I think we really needed to see a number and not just feel like we're loosing weight. Now we really have a number to start from. It gave us a nice little boost. And I think I officially just decided that I'm totally claiming the ten pounds! Yes. I have lost ten pounds this month! There I said it!

The Competition in Our House

2011-01-25T00:11:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I wonder how Mario and I end up in some conversations. Today we went from loving to weird in one minute flat.

Me: Honey you are the cutest boy I know

Mario: Thank you babes

Me (looking at the cat): Well he's pretty cute too

Mario (apparently feeling competitive): But I don't throw up on the floor

Me: True, but his ass doesn't rumble the house like yours does

Me: Now I don't know who's cuter

Between those two, they're lucky they're both cute or they'd be out of the house.

Bob says "You can't be this kind of cute!"

The googles

2011-01-23T14:47:00.000-08:00

In the last two weeks, two of my friends have discovered the google web talk. It's kinda fun and feels a bit like we're actually hanging out. However, it's very quickly become a love/hate thing for me.

The first time we tried it was a few weeks ago. My friend had just had her third baby and was in seclusion because her most of her family was infected with the flu. She was stuck in a hotel with the baby and was loving being able to heal in quiet with new baby Silas. however, she was missing her family. Her mother and father live in Minnesota and were out visiting. Unfortunately, they weren't able to visit with Silas and Katie. They were all bummed. They don't get to visit often and they live for being with the grandbabies. So, Katie thought maybe google web talk might be an option for the grandparents to see the babies more often.

So, we both got on the web chat. It was actually pretty fun. I got to see Silas and his cute little baby butt. She was able to talk hands free and have full control of the baby. I liked it and I thought that her parents would love it! It actually has a more personal feel than just being on the phone. I almost felt like I was hanging out with them...well, with the exception of not being able to hold and kiss on that squishy baby. We figured we'd used this every so often, so I can talk to the boys and visit a little. I think the boys will absolutely love being able to talk to people on the computer. Sounds like a fun little thing to do every once in a while. I think her parents will absolutely love it. They'll get to see the boys playing and talking. I think it will work out well for them.

Then a few days ago, I was online and I kept hearing this dinging sound. I couldn't for the life of me figure out where this noise was coming from. I hadn't heard this noise before and it was making me a little crazy. Finally I figured out it was my chat "ringing" to alert me to an incoming call. I clicked over and there was my friend Tracy staring at me from Arkansas. She saw my google chat saying that I have a camera available and took advantage of it. I haven't seen her for at least four of five months, so this seemed fun. This was a good way to hang out with her without being in the same state!

We started talking and it was nice to see her face, talk to her husband, and see my niece (her dog) pop up and say hi. Because we are both photographers, it was great to be able to work and show each other marketing and photos. It worked really well.

Around the half hour mark is when I noticed I wasn't as in love with the chat as much as I had been. I'll be honest, I was getting a little tired of having to pay full attention to the screen. I have a bit of the A.D.D. So on our normal long phone calls, I sit here, move over there, sometimes I flip through a magazine, sometimes I go outside. Basically, on a regular phone, I can do anything. Being tethered to the computer was a little bit more work than just sitting with my phone.

As our phone call went on, the real problem came to light. The whole point of talking on the computer, is being able to see the other person. So it's kinda imperative to be seen my the camera and that's where the hate part comes in. I found that for the last half of our conversation, three quarters of my attention was spent on making sure I didn't have a double chin! My vanity totally popped up and I spent more time making sure I was in a flattering angle on the screen, than I really should have. This means that I spent more time staring at myself than paying attention to my friend. We ended up talking for like an hour and a half. This is far more time than I should be spending thinking about how cute I look for a friend. What a conceited asshole right?

This also brings up a third problem for me. You never know when some jerk friend of mine is going to pop up and say hi. This means that I need to make sure I'm looking cute all the time! This google chat seems like far more work than it's worth.

My life flashed before my eyes

2011-01-21T00:30:00.000-08:00

I drove Colleen on an errand today and she was kind enough to reward me with Chipotle. Yes I am all for food rewards. I only request that you use this knowledge for good.

After our tasty lunch, we walked back to the car. As, we headed for the elevator and down to the garage, Colleen suggested we take the stairs down and just walk through the garage to the car. It's this suggestion that would lead to me almost being killed not once, but twice. Thank you Colleen!

We headed down the steeps stairs safely enough, only to hear the little old lady injure herself mid way down the stairs. After a few pauses, we realized she was ok and headed down through the labyrinth of this underground garage. This should have been our first warning.

We started through the first of the rooms and into the second. We were mid way through the connecting tunnel, giggling and weaving slighting from our happy food coma. When out of no where came a speeding car! Straight at us! Apparently he was very unconcerned with the garage speed limit. Luckily though, he spotted us as he zoomed around the corner! Of course, Colleen and I ran for opposite sides of the tunnel, totally running into each other, and then finally headed for the left side of the road. At least Colleen ended up on the left side of the road. I, of course, did what I did best and waited for sweet death to take me...I froze. I swear I would be the first to die if I were in a horror movie situation. Luckily, there was the tiniest bit of self preservation deep down in me and I finally moved over towards Colleen.

We continued on a little more cautiously, hugging the wall a little closer, and laughing at our dorkiness. As we stepped into the adjoining room, we looked back at the machine that could have finished us or maybe just bumped us a little. Then just as we cleared the corner of the tunnel, a black mass stepped into me! I screamed "Oh my god!" My life flashed before my eyes and luckily this time I jumped back a step...and then finally recognized this mass as safe. I grabbed on to this poor guy's arm and held on, to keep me standing upright as much as him. We had scared the shit out of each other! Butts had puckered and we were both grabbing our hearts hoping to keep them in our chests.

I finally let go of the poor guy and we all started laughing. This poor guy was propped up against the wall and wasn't saying a thing! We really didn't know if he was ok yet, except that he was laughing. Colleen had to ask him no less than three times if he was ok. He finally nodded a bit and peeled himself off the wall. Colleen and I finally headed back to our car laughing and with slightly raised heart rate...but we made it alive.

I hope you can learn from our adventure. Especially not to take Colleens little suggestions to take the stairs...you will pay the price! I just hope that poor kid made it to where ever he was going. I wonder if he'll be mute for the remainder of his life.

Lets discuss a few things...

2011-01-19T02:32:00.000-08:00

-First of all I apologize about not checking in...I have no excuse really. It's more of a memory problem. Something happens to blog about, then I get to the computer and completely forget what the hell I was going to write about. However, the minute I get in the shower, a whole long list comes to mind. Exit the shower...gone again. I really need to have a recorder in there. Maybe I should be moving to video blogs. Although, the only way I'd remember is in the shower and you all don't deserve to see that.

- Karma has reared her ugly head. I was lotioning up my legs the other day. I had finished lefty and had moved onto righty, and when I went to get a bit more lotion, I totally squirted a shitload of soap into my hand instead of lotion! It wasn't even the lotiony soap! It was the regular old gel soap! It didn't even look remotely the same. What's worse...I now had to wash my hands and leg again! I had just gotten out of the shower! What a pain in the ass!

- Can we talk about Mario and I dieting? I have been making a huge pot of veggie soup and a huge salad each week to keep in the fridge. It makes for easy options. Easy option always wins out over a more difficult meal for us. So, these have totally been life savers for us. It has also been a real stinker too. The gas problem that I like to call Mario is killing me! He has been such a trooper. He's totally tracking his calories and all that stuff. So I can't complain too much, but seriously come on!

-Can we also talk about Mario and his Wii. More specifically the sports game he plays. Most nights he turns on the game and does the boxing, softball, tennis, bowling and golf for a bit of excersize. Some of these games are more docile, like the bowling, tennis, and golf. On the other hand, the softball, and boxing become full body participation. Most of you will recall how small our apartment is.

Notice how close he is to the television. This is not because he's like a kid and likes to sit way up on the screen. This is because if he steps forward, he's on the screen. If he steps back, he's on the couch. So he kinda swivels around and tries not to destroy the place.

Most of the time, it's not a problem. However, tonight he was at the dollar store. He happened to find some of the accessories to the sports game. The tennis racket, the golf club, and the baseball bat. So, now we've added more length to this game being held in a room that has no more length to give.

I stayed out of the room while he played baseball. For Mario, this is a full game of swinging and pitching. Full body swinging and full body pitching with the whole wind up thing. At least he's getting a work out. But the rest of the house is getting beat up in the process. I finally came back into the room when he started playing tennis. I figured it was a mellower game. Wrong. Yes, it was more mellow, but he still was beating the shit out of everything. I was sitting behind him working on my computer. Luckily for him he didn't hit me. However, he did hit my computer a few times. He also hit the entertainment unit a number of times. At which point I decided to turn on the video camera on my phone. I apologize for the very poor video quality but I think you get the point.

Back in the Saddle Again!

2011-01-08T02:08:00.000-08:00

Can you say exhausted. When I go down the list of things I did today, it really wasn't that long. Sushi lunch with a friend....awesome. Mario's union holiday party at the Gene Autry museum...awesome. Three hours at a restaurant supply store...awesome, totally exhausting and overwhelming.

After a three week hiatus from sushi, Colleen and I hit our favorite sushi place today. We invited a certain blog reader...who rejected us yet again. But after the first few bites, we realized that we were better off eating this particular meal without anyone else. After three weeks there was more moaning and groaning than was probably appropriate from this fantastic sushi. We decided it was probably better to have her come with next week, so she doesn't have to listen to our food orgasms. Really. We should really still be embarrassed. We were a little ridiculous. But if you love sushi like we do...you understand.

Instead of having a good half hour or forty-five minutes to site and have our therapy session afterwards, we had to race back for me to drop Colleen off. Then pick up Rene from the restaurant. Then pick Mario up from at home and drive us to this restaurant supply store. Supplies are fun. However, this place was food and supplies. While Rene got the paper work going, Mario and I took a preliminary look around...and were in awe. Huge bags of apples for $3. Fifty pound bag of potatoes for $10. Then there's the walk in. I showed up in a short sleeve sweater and a dress for this adventure. Mario was in shorts and flip-flops. We paid for this clothing choice in the walk-in. But that bitch was cold! I imagine this is what winter feels like in other parts of the country. It was an awesome site though. Whole sides of beef hanging in there. Huge bags of cheese, dressings, fresh herbs, veggies. You name it, it was in there. It was so interesting to look through all the stuff. However, it was a huge relief to get out of that fridge and into the regular part of the store. We are so lucky that we brought Mario along. Originally it was only me and Rene going. I knew he'd want to see this place. Turns out there were so many boxes of heavy supplies we were schlepping that we needed him to move this stuff. I'm not sure how we would have done it ourselves. It took us two and a half hours to collect all the food and supplies, collect prices for comparing suppliers, paid and packed up the truck. We were exhausted. The good news is though...my name is on the card. When we have our next BBQ...we's paying a lot less for our meat!

Of course we had to race back to the restaurant, unload the truck, head back to home, and get ready for Mario's Animation Guild Union Party. I was excited about it this year. Last year there was no where near enough food or space. This year we got a party announcement saying the party wasn't until after New Years. Why you ask? Well, I guess they had reserved a hall for the party and made sure to order enough food. However, the hall fell through mid December. By that time there was nothing available to hold us all. They ended up getting the Gene Autry Museum across from the Los Angeles Zoo. I was excited when we heard where it would be held. We drive by the museum all the time but we have never gone in. We had the run of the whole place. There was good food every where. So there was a little eating and mingling. Then we would walk around the museum for a while. Then we'd mingle and snack. Get a drink. Then check out more of the museum. It was a beautiful museum. You walk in one room and it looks small. Next thing you know, you have been through ten more rooms and come out on the other side of the party. The displays were really great. Beautifully done with tons of interesting cowboy stuff. Cowboy music, movies, saddles, guns, bad cowboys, good cowboys, costumes, Los Angeles history, etc. It just goes on and on. Then of course there are some incredible pieces of cowboy life paintings.

Really it was a full day considering I've spent the last week and a half at home on the computer. The food orgasms where exhausting, the supply run was majorly exhausting, and walking around chatting and being cute ...although it comes natural, is damn exhausting. I'd love love to go back and visit the museum when I have more energy and time. There was so much we didn't see and it turned out to be way cooler than you would think a cowboy museum would be. It was a good day back to real life!

There is a fun dress up area for the kids to play in. They introduce a chinese american family from way back when. They had the first chinese resaurant in Los Angeles or chinatown...don't remember. This was me being chinese american. How you ask? I have a cute chinese hat on, that's how.

Lots of beautiful saddles

More Los Angeles mexican history.

The mister was pretty excited to see the original costume from Zorro, The Gay Blade.

A really awesome cowboy outfit that was made for Michael Jackson. The shirt was beautiful but the shoes were incredible.

A cool old truck.

This saddle setup is incredible. Just really gorgeous.

The organizing and planning continues

2011-01-05T15:23:00.000-08:00

I really have nothing to blog about because I've barely left the house in a week. Sick twice in one month is a bit ridiculous. However, I'm finally feeling more normal and back in the game.

I have taken advantage of the down time and have figured out a business plan for this year. I figured out how many shoots I'll need to be making a my income goals. I have marketing planned out. And most importantly I've figured out a new non schedule for myself. I've figured out how many hours I want to dedicate a week to marketing, shooting, editing, accounting, the restaurant, blogging, etc. Since I'm very to-do list oriented, I'm going to create a weekly hour check off sheet. So say, I have 12 hours a week of marketing, 8 hours for the restaurant, 15 hours of shooting, 3 hours of accounting. I have a list that I created so that I can check off the hours as I do it. I'm sure it sounds elementary. But since my schedule is different from one week to the next, at least I know I'll have my allotted hours in for each task. Then I can also choose to sit down and do all the marketing for the week in one shot or split it up without worrying that I'm not doing enough. The only problem is, I now have this list with more hours on it than there are in a week. And it definitely makes me realize how many times I was over working and under working. Hopefully this will be a nice guideline to keep me on track. I always played it by ear before and that was fine, but this year I want more stability with my work.

I've been finally back working on my website. I've spent so much time hemming and hawing about how to do this website. Only to realize I need to just do it. Get a site up and then decide what needs to change later. I'll be very excited when that is finished. And once it is finished, I'll be able to update it way way easier. Hopefully then I'll be able to keep her on track and updated with beautiful photos (if photos of houses can be considered beautiful).

The only other thing we've been doing is more house organizing. It never ends in such a small apartment. There is no place to hide shit here. So, we've definitely been trying to work on better storage. For the most part we've been doing alright. We took down all our Christmas stuff and went through it all. Reorganized it and only got rid of one thing...a mystery wreath with chili peppers on it. I have no idea where it came from and am embarrassed that we actually have had ownership of a Christmas wreath with chili peppers on it.

The living room is mostly in order. The kitchen is almost almost there. We've been trying things out in new spots and pretty much have it figured out. The only thing left our bedroom really. When Christmas rolled around, we needed space for the tree. So, I moved a medium size bookcase from the living room into our bedroom. Then I found the cutest rocking chair in the alley. Well, now that the tree is gone and the bookcase is in the bedroom, the chair looks so cute where the bookcase needs to move back to. So, we are trying to decide where that bookcase can go now. This tells you people how SMALL this place really is. One bookshelf and a chair is causing chaos in our house and in my head! And although the guilt is overwhelming, we are thinking of getting rid of the huge cat apartment thing we have to make room in the bedroom for the bookcase. The cats really aren't using it any more. I do feel guilty though. It's theirs. And I know that as soon as I touch it to move it, they'll be all over it like it was brand new. Then I'll feel guilty again. So, I think I'm going to slowly move it to the living room and then outside and then to the dumpster day by day. I'll probably find those little jerks hanging out on it by the dumpster.

Then the bookcase can go in the corner where the cat thing was, the chair can be all cute in the corner and we can finally be finished with our bedroom... once I go through the closet one more time. I'm sure there's more shit in there to donate. Well, I also want to find a cute little table to put next to the chair and some photos above it.

It's a New Year!

2011-01-01T19:04:00.000-08:00

If you have been reading my blog for a while, you know that I love the new year! I love day one. I love January. I love the clean slate. It's when I clean out my house and my mind. It's when I reevaluate the last year and decide what I really want to change.

Mario and I spent a bit of time yesterday talking about what we had done in the last year and what we wanted for us as individuals and as a couple in the new year. It was good to get on the same page and find out what each other really wanted. It feels so good to work towards a goal together.

Most of all we want to really enjoy the next year. We were very happy in 2010. There were the normal trials and tribulations but it was a great year. I got to see lots of family. I got to spend lots of time with my mom, sister, and my friends. I've reconciled some friendships I thought were finished. I've learned a lot about myself and how I communicate with people. My marriage has grown and so has my love and friendship with my husband. We want the same for 2011. Only better. More time with friends, more time with family. More camping, more BBQs, more picnics, more laughing, more work, more of all the same. But there are a few goals for the new year that will take work.

A few of our goals are carry-overs from 2010. We have been working on them and plan to continue. First was our financial goal. After spending 2009 absolutely broke, one of our goals for 2010 was to get back on track. We really did. We paid down a lot of debts and actually were able to pay a few off. This year our goal is similar. Pay down debts. Although we definitely want to be able to really throw some money into our savings account. Our combined student loans really seem to be the biggest obstacle there. We'll make it work.

The next goal on our list was getting my business back to where it was before the economy hit. My long term clients have really started calling more consistently in the last few months. So, I feel this is the time to really make it work. I really want to sit down in the next few days and lay out dates and goals. I want to be able to check in and see where I am through out the year. It's hard to believe but I've never done that for my business before. I haven't needed to really. But I realize now I really should have been doing this every year. Next on the list is revamping my website (I at least have this started). Then marketing, marketing, marketing. It really needs to happen this year or I think I need to move on.

The next important goal is the total cliche goal. Loosing weight. I've been way too fat, for way too long. With babies on the mind, I know I need to loose weight not only to get pregnant but just to be able to keep up with them. Mario is totally on board and wants the same for himself. There will definitely be a learning curve for us. There are a lot of bad habits to change. Luckily we love trying new good foods and things. We've been heading in the right direction with the veggies being delivered and lots of cooking at home. They are amazing and we've had the bestest meals with those veggies. Who would have known I love kale and Chard so much...not I! We just gotta keep heading in that direction. Don't worry I won't turn this blog into a weight loss blog. Although, I might see what kinds of clubs they have on meetup.com or I might start up a small club of people who want to loose weight. I definitely need that session to own up to what I'm doing and not doing. I just don't have the money to put out to weight watchers or any of those fancy companies. A nice support group would be great.

I'm really looking forward to this year. As usual, the positive asshole in me comes right on out and I write blogs that feel like I'm blowing sunshine up your butt. My apologies. I just can't help it. I love this time of year!

Nelson Tracker

2010-12-22T03:11:00.000-08:00

Six years ago today my sister and I were in Florence, Italy. We spent three and a half months traveling around Europe. Every day I think about some where we have been and how much I want to go back.

Finally after 6 years of sitting on our thousands of photos, a travel blog, and other souvenirs, I decided to finally put together a book. Initially, this was supposed to be a surprise for my sister for Christmas. However, being that I can not keep a secret for the life of me. Well, the secret lasted for about three weeks. I'm kinda proud actually. That's a long time. If you consider my mother was involved in this secret....it's miraculous really!

I knew I was taking a chance bringing my mother in on this, but there were some serious decisions to be made. My first idea was to print out the blog that we updated as we traveled. It was the blog entries and the photos we posted. Then I started questioning if I should add in more photos. This was tough. I have thousands of images. Just me. Not including Lindsay's photos. I know I would love a big coffee table book of my favorite images from the trip. However, this is more like the scrap book...plus. There were too many decisions though. How many photos should I add. Should I add in our train tickets and other maps. Should I add in emails. It started getting too much and I couldn't even decide what size to go with.

So, I brought my mom in to it. I told her it was a surprise for Lindsay. But now she wanted a book too. So she wanted full photos, tickets, blog, etc. She wanted to feel like she was there. This meant my little book just got big. Because I kinda wanted the same thing. I was having a hard time. I want this to be good. I want to make sure this is what we both would love. Who would I ask for advise, but the other person who was there.

After three weeks Lindsay knew. I asked if I should tell her my secret and she guessed on her second guess. She totally knew what I was up to. She knew I was already working on a project for my mom's family. Plus, I got excited about a cute little photo and sent it to her. She also knew that my mom was in on it, because apparently when my mom has a secret, she avoids my sister like the plague. Nice. We are horrible at this secret keeping shit.

So now I'm knee deep in this project. It started as a tiny little book and is now a huge coffee table book. For each city I have at least 20-50 favorite photos. There are 5-10 cities visited for each country. 6 countries. I'm finished with France and only about half way through editing the photos for Germany. There are still a shitload left to edit. I haven't even started the book!

So in the mean time, here is a look at our travel blog. Just so you are prepared, I have made a fool of myself in other countries as well as the US. I am known worldwide for my ability to fall for no reason at all. I love looking back and reading what we were up to on any day. I only wish I had known what I know now, and had kept more detailed notes on what we were doing. It still totally takes me back though!

Nelson Tracker

Just a little warning, the blog starts from the end. So if you want to start at the beginning, go to page one and move on from there.

Geek

2010-12-21T02:59:00.000-08:00

Ok, I'm totally geeking out. I've joined a book club! I've wanted to for a long time. I have just been a little skeptical about actually joining a group. I have no idea what kinds of books they'll be reading. I want to read random fun books. I don't want to read gushy, eat pray love books. I don't want brainiac books. I want funny. I want different. I finally found a group that should fit.

After hearing my sister and her best friend joined a book club, I started looking around a bit. I looked at some of the postings at the library. I've kept my eyes open around town. I just haven't seen anything that has really felt like I'd fit in. When I asked my sister how she found her group, she told me that she found it on Meetup.com.

I was using this site to try to get game players into the restaurant. So, I quickly signed myself up with my own profile and right off the bat, I found what sounds like the perfect book club. I am so excited! It's brand new, so everyone coming in will be getting to know eat other. I like the idea of not being the only new person in the club. The first book already sounds fun, "Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter". I can't wait to get my hands on that book!

While I was on meetup.com, I decided I wanted to look for some other clubs. I'd love to find a local group to walk with and get outside a little. I didn't find one that I loved...so I might have to start up my own group. I also found a group for young female business owners. I've pretty stinking excited about this one also! I love to talk to other business owners, bounce ideas around and feed off of everyone's excitement. It's really encouraging to hear about others struggles and accomplishments. It really something that has benefited my company in the past. I'd really hope this works out!

The last club I signed up for was the Burbank Ladies Social. Yup. I've joined a ladies club. No not it's not a purple hat ladies club. Just a get out and socialize club. I have some local girlfriends but we're kinda outnumbered by the boys. The rest of my friends live kinda far away, and sometimes you just want to hang out with someone. So, I'd like to find some more friends or even a fun group to go out to a movie with or an event. Plus, I read something about bottomless champagne brunch on the site somewhere... kinda sealed the deal for me. We'll see how this one goes. I just hope this isn't a high school popularity thing.

So far, these are the only clubs I've signed up for. I figure I should start off slow. I don't wan to become a club junky.

I have to admit there are a few clubs that have caught my eye...some for good reasons, some for bad. Swingers club...not so interested. But I do love how they describe themselves "safe place to explore our cuckold and hotwife fantasies"...um yeah. "Sexual Love feast" is another...funny.

My favorite so far is "The Kickass Drinking Volunteer Benefactor's Society". Their tagline is "Schemes, Plots, and Sing-Alongs"....awesome. I'm still on the fence with this one but somehow it seems so perfect. Drinking, volunteering, and kickass...it's the trifecta!

Tis the Season

2010-12-17T02:32:00.000-08:00

Mario and I finally put up our first real Christmas tree. Oh we've had Christmas trees before. We've had a 5ft paper tree taped to the wall, we've had a small fake tree up, and we've had the ceramic tree. This year we went to the big fancy tree lot with the petting zoo. Looked at all the animals. Looked at all the beautiful trees. Then left and went to Lowe's for a way cheaper tree.

I didn't know it could be done. I really thought we'd pick up a cute skinny three or four footer for sure. However, somehow, we've squeezed a 6ft tree into our tiny apartment. We had to move stuff around to fit her in. Then to make sure we had walking room, I shaved down the back and one side. Then I shaved a little more off another side, to make sure it wasn't too too close to the heater.

I let Mario take the lead on the decorating. Since I mostly have taken over how the house should look every day, I totally handed over the reigns on the Christmas tree.

Lighting - One thing I inherited from my father, is my weight in Christmas tree lights. Seriously. Boxes of lights. Anything you could want. So, Mario had his choice of light colors and patterns. He took his decorating very seriously. Thought long and hard about the lighting situation. He ended up wanting to lay out a base of blue and green lights with a single strand of multi color lights to extra pizazz. While the blue lights move crazy and fast, the multi color strand moves slow. Like I said, lots of planning.

Christmas ornaments are a different story. I have some ornaments from my mom and some from my dad. Mom has boxes and boxes of ornaments. She's slowly been going through them and splitting them up. Last Christmas mom sent me home with a box of ornaments. There were those little ones that I had made when I was young. There was the old one with a baby photo of me. And then there were a whole bunch of ornaments that I don't remember ever seeing. My sister was nice enough to inform me that mom just pawned off her crappy ornaments on me, but threw a few good ones in to be nice. The thing is I totally believe it! I got suckered. Of course I totally used them...cause I am trying to avoid a series of animal ornaments my father bought from us while trying to raise money for a class trip...they are creepy and I just don't like them. But I will keep them. Hidden off in a Christmas box to look at each year and remember...then hide them again.

In the end, we were very happy with our Christmas tree...until we went to the restaurant and Mario say how many ornaments they had on their tree. Then he decided we needed way more ornaments on ours. We went and picked up a 76 pack of cute ornaments. He put every one of those little bastards on the tree and some bead garland that meticulously placed on the tree.

It does look great. He's obviously very serious about decorating our first tree...even if you can't see much tree under all the ornaments. Finally after almost a week, I was finally allowed to take a photo and show you all...I wasn't allowed to until he was finished with his work of art.

Life on the Beach

2010-12-16T02:12:00.000-08:00

I've been having weird dreams lately. A few days ago, I dreamt that I was on Bay Watch. Yup and I was a regular. However, no one realized it because I was on the more recent episodes...the episodes that no one watched towards the end of the series. Lucky for me, it turned out that Bay Watch was having a huge revival and the old episodes were now way popular again. They were going to bring back this gem of a series!

None of my family or friends knew that I was on it. They only realized it was true when I had to attend the Emmy's with the whole Bay Watch cast. The looks on people's faces when I started walking through in my fancy pants dress was funny. Of course true to a dream, I magically had a sparkly dress ready to change into at the pool. However, there were problems also. I couldn't find any shoes. I had also lost one of my huge diamond earrings in my purse and could only find the small inadequate pair. So annoying!

If the dream really weren't embarrassing enough, I actually woke up feeling pretty cocky. I was a famous actress on Bay Watch! Of course I'm totally hotter than Pam Anderson!

Match made in Potty Humor

2010-12-12T01:11:00.000-08:00

Today was productive on many levels. We started off lazy and relaxed. Made a nice breakfast. Sold some items on Craigslist. Headed over to our storage to get out the ole Christmas decorations and maybe find some things to sell. We actually did very well at storage. We organized quite a bit and made some room in the locker.

When we finished up, we headed over to Mario's mother's place to drop off some things. On our way there Mario made a quick phone call to a friend. I couldn't stop myself from making fun of him...cause you know how mature I am.

Me - "So you couldn't drop off the speakers cause you got some last minute runs?"
Mario - "He knows what I mean. I gotta take this to mom and I have to run to Hilario's. However, I definitely got the last minute runs when we were at the storage unit though."
Me - "oh god"
Mario - "I had to stand like a flamenco dancer to make sure nothing came out while we were there"
I was crying laughing and trying to drive straight while picturing Mario standing like a flamenco dancer
Me - "That's gross. If I had known you had to go that bad, we had an empty box you could have pooped in"
Mario - "And what leave the box in storage for the next time?"
Me - "When you're desperate...you do extreme things. Like stand like a flamenco dancer. I thought the box was a good option"
Mario- "Hey, the flamenco dancer stand kept the turtle head at bay"
Me - "You are gross! Oh man my butt cheek has an itch!"
Mario - "Ah crap, my phone called my cousin Dougie in Alabama!"
Me - "Are you kidding me! He heard us talking about you pooping in a box! And he heard me say my butt itched! Oh my god"
Mario - "It's ok he's young. He understands."
Me - "No! I haven't ever met this part of the family, and this is what he hears! Oh my god! Oh my god!"
Mario - "Well look at the bright side, he might not have heard the whole thing. He might have only heard the end."
Me - "Are you kidding me! That was me saying how my butt itched!! That is not ok! You have to text him and apologize."
Mario - "No, that's admitting to it."
Me - "Oh my god!"

But this is when the ridiculousness of the situation hits. I can only hope that Mario's family finds my lack of maturity and love of potty humor endearing. I didn't stop laughing for the entire drive to Mario's mom's house. The minute I'd get control over myself, I'd start thinking of Mario standing like a flamenco dancer and loose it again. I have to admit it, it's times like these that I realize that I married the perfect man for me....

Spring Cleaning Already

2010-12-10T13:40:00.000-08:00

After looking around for a bigger apartment, we've resigned ourselves again to sticking it out in our tiny apartment. It would be a huge luxury to have a bigger apartment but it comes down to saving money and paying off bills.

What does this mean? Spring cleaning! This time Mario got the organizing bug up his butt. I'm all for it. We started the weekend before Thanksgiving. We started by deciding what furniture that would really help us. Figured out how much money we needed to make to get that furniture. Then photographed all the non essential doo-dads and furniture that just isn't working for us, put it all up online and waited. It's amazing how fast people jump on some things. We had calls within 10 minutes. We sold all the main pieces we needed to by Monday. Bought two of the four pieces of furniture we needed Tuesday night and ended up staying up most of the night organizing and shuffling things around.

We bought a mucho bigger entertainment center. It's almost a little on the too big side, but we seriously needed the storage. I'm not sure if I've told you how many dvds Mario owns... ridiculous. Now, all the dvds, books, and doo-dads have a home. They all have their spot and I love it.

The second piece of furniture we got was a pantry for the kitchen. Most of you have seen the state of our kitchen....tiny. We've spent most of the four years here trying to come up with more storage in the kitchen. We've added a big cute shelf for storage, a portable dishwasher for counter space and washing our dishes obviously. And now we've added a floor to ceiling pantry. It's a monster and yet dreamy at the same time. There are big drawers with all the canned goods. There are shelves for equipment storage. And my favorite are the wire basket drawers for fruits and veggies...love those! We still want to get a second pantry for the other side of the fridge. They'll box in the fridge and hopefully look good. We just need to get doors for this one.

I figured that we'd be on a hold with the rest until after New Years. However, Mario came home last night wanting to get the fourth piece on our list. A cute shelf for the bedroom with lots of baskets. Plus he wanted to get a bunch of fabric baskets for our linen closet. So, again, we stayed up all night sorting, moving, and donating shit. There's still a ways to go for sure. But I'm excited by how much Mario is into the purging and organizing. There's lots of planning and really trying to figure out what will work for us.

The good news is, this year we'll have enough space for a real Christmas tree!!! I'm so excited! Not our little fakey guy. Real and actually a good sized. So, this weekend, we'll be buying our tree and decorating it up. After we hit our storage and find our Christmas shit! Maybe we'll even find some things to sell!

New Recordings

2010-12-08T23:31:00.000-08:00

Recently, I've started recording Mario sleeping again. He's just been talking too much in his sleep, I can't resist. So, far I have three nights recorded. One old night about a month ago and the last two nights.

There was a point when I realized that I watch too many ghost shows. Because when I started recording one night, I thought to myself, "Man, I hope I don't get any ghosts talking on here". That's just not what I want to hear. I don't need to hear some disembodied voice talking with Mario in his sleep. Too creepy!

So, tonight when I started listening to the last three recordings, the last thing I thought I might hear was a lady whispering over Mario's snore! Tell me it's a neighbor please! Plain as day there is a whisper "Turn out the lights"...and it's not me! Mario and I are much louder on the recorder. I'm not sure what to do with this. denial works. However, here I am telling you all.

At least I can take comfort in the fact that it's a considerate ghost...hey turn off the lights. I can probably live with that. However, it's what I heard next that scared the shit out of me! I heard snoring. No not Mario snoring. Not a ghost snore. It was me! Horrifying! All I can say is, hey, I just got over a cold! I'm still congested!

Lists

2010-12-07T13:29:00.000-08:00

There is one thing that has stuck with me since visiting my family at Thanksgiving. I've thought about it over and over again. I just haven't been able to figure it out really.

Friday afternoon after Thanksgiving and after our fruitless Black Friday morning shopping trip, I sat down at my mother's computer to send off some emails. As I waited for the computer to catch up, I was kind of looking at the desk for things to put away. It's a small desk with lots of pens and little pieces of paper across it. In the nest of clutter, one little piece of paper caught my eye. It was obviously written in my sister's messy handwriting. It was a list. A magical list. There were only two items, but I can't stop thinking about it.

Piñata
Publishers Clearing House

What the hell is this list?! Is it a reminder or a to do list? All I know is it's fascinating! What does one have to do with the other? Is it a wish list? When I win the publisher's clearing house the first thing I will buy is a piñata. The only problem with that the Piñata was definitely first on the list. Maybe she wants a Piñata filled with Publisher's Clearing House forms?

I don't know. I haven't stopped thinking about it since I've gotten back. I know, I could simply ask, but I kind of like the mystery of this magical list. This might be my favorite list ever!

Allergies?

2010-12-05T16:41:00.000-08:00

I'm finally at the end of my head cold....yay! And it took me that long to realize that I was allergic to the cough drops I was using. Yup.

I'd like to blame the medicine for my lack of analytical deduction when it came to figuring out what the hell was going on...but no. I'm just a bone head.

First off I didn't suspect the cough drops because they were given to us by Mario's Aunt Meg from New Zealand and told that they were miracle cough drops. Best out there and all natural! Nothing works like these little babies. So they couldn't be the problem right?

All I know if that my mouth was really messed up. Itchy and felt a little swollen. I was super sensitive to food. I just assumed it was the cold. Everything tastes funny when you have a cold, right? I had the same thing happen to me the last time I had a cold. My mouth felt like it had a rash. So, maybe it's just a weird symptom of the cold.

I was at that stage at the end of my cold when you feel much better but still get those random coughing fits. They always happen in the most public of places. Like the minute you walk into a store. You get that tiny tickle in your throat and all of a sudden it takes you down. Red face, tears in your eyes, coughing for a good solid five minutes while everyone looks at you with looks of sympathy...or is that a look of disgust directed at you who is now contaminating everyone within a mile radius with your sickie sickiness.

Of course the only thing that can handle the rogue tickle is the ~~miracle~~ killer cough drop. So you take one cough drop. It calms the cough and allows you to shop for a minute. But then the cough comes back even worse because you are allergic to the drop...only you haven't realized this yet because you still believe Auntie Meg when she says it's a miracle. So to get through the shopping trip you keep popping those little bastards. Alas, you have made your purchases and leave the store. Finally...finally the tickle has stopped because it's no fun making you cough unless is includes public humiliation.

It's only later that night when you are on the phone with your sister that it finally clicks. Wow I just ate the cough drop and my mouth is so ichy!!! Wow, I must be allergic to these things. I'm glad I figured that out. Or was it actually your sister who said "hey idiot, you know you started complaining about your ichy mouth as soon as you popped that miracle cough drop of yours."

I guess I can thank her for saving my life. Thanks Lindz.

Home for the Holidays

2010-12-03T01:49:00.000-08:00

I'm finally posting about Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving with my family was fun as usual. I always have a great time with them. Probably because they always get me drunk. There is always lots of food, drink, drunk people trying to play games and someone coming up with a ridiculous idea.

By 3 pm we had already emptied four bottles of champagne and had eaten all sorts of wonderful appetizers. Dinner was mostly done...but not quite yet. So, we talked our cousin into trying on her wedding dress from 1986. She hated her dress then and doesn't love it much more now...although, we all agreed she looked just as good in it, if not better now. She even had her shoes...which we discovered fit Lindsay perfectly. They actually look super cute on my sister...hello something borrowed.

I know those shoes are up here somewhere...

This is my favorite shot...it feels very "the hills are alive with the sound of music"

This is how cute my cousin Jennifer is...so fun and bubbly. Just like her mother!

Jennifer and Bob's 24th anniversary is December 6. Unfortunately Bob will be out of the country until January...so she's going to email him the photos and video. I can't wait to hear what he says. I don't think he'll be too surprised knowing we were there cheering her on.

Uncle Chet carving up the turkey...mmm

The littles ladies setting the table...of course mom and me documenting with photos

Mario and Tim bonding over a nice nap before dinner

It was a little quieter than usual. Along with Bob, the other person missing was Allyn who got stuck on base in Tennessee...he wasn't about to make it. We missed Bob and Allyn. Especially Cabana Bob...who always keeps our glasses full of champagne. Mario really isn't a drinker, so he can't bartend worth a poop. However, we had a bartender in training Tiki Tim. He's not nearly as good as Cabana Bob yet, but a few more Thanksgivings and I think he'll be quite good!

I wish I could see my family more often. Although, I know my Oregon family reading this will tell me to buck up...they are much farther away! If only we lived closer!

The only downside was too much kissing on the family. With all the kissing and hugging, by the time I left...I was sick. One of those jerks gave me a cold. Personally I think it was Uncle Chet...he was coughing a lot. Who knows though. This is the reason I haven't posted this week. I have been hopped up on the cold medicine. I could barely talk, let alone typr. (I can't believe that actually happened...that's the cold medicine typing!)

And he keeps delivering...

2010-11-23T02:48:00.000-08:00

As I was working today I heard our garage door. It was about that right time for Mario to be coming home. So, I was ready for him to walk in the door. Bob, our cat, ran to the door (He knows when Mario is home and meets him at the door). However, when I heard the garage door again and still there was no Mario, I was a little confused. We share a garage with our neighbor, so I knew there was a fifty-fifty chance that it could be our neighbor Ben. But then I didn't hear Ben go into his house. Interesting but didn't think too much about it.

But then I immediately heard the garage door again. Still no Mario. Cue garage door again. Bob is still at the door with this look on his face that says "Where the hell is dad?"

The garage door goes again. I finally start ignoring it. Maybe it wasn't our garage door after all. There is a whole alley of garages back there...but this sure sounded like our garage door. Our old neighbor's young son used to get a hold of the garage door opener and just hit the button over and over. Nothing like walking past a garage that all of a sudden it kicks to life and starts opening and closing with no one around. I would hear that door go crazy a lot. Maybe it's one of the other neighbors? Maybe, it's Egon the crazy kitty next door sitting on the garage door opener?

But then Mario walked in the door. Bob went crazy cause dad was finally in the house. Mario was just shaking his head.

Mario "I have another one for the blog"

Oh I couldn't wait to hear this...

Mario "I drove down the alley and pulled up in front of the garage. Hit the garage door opener and nothing happened."

We have had problems with our garage door, so this is no surprise.

"I hit the garage door again and nothing. I pressed that button a million times. I pulled back. I pulled up closer. I tried that trick you told me about when you put the remote up to my jaw...the garage door wasn't working. But then I saw this flicker of movement out of the corner of my eye...and realized I was in front of the wrong garage like a doofus!"

aahhhh hahahahah! Well, I have to admit. That's probably not too hard to do. It's a very long alleyway with garage door after garage door. Still, after four years....you'd think he'd have figured it out.

Fireworks!

2010-11-22T14:21:00.000-08:00

Thursday night Mario went to bed a little earlier than me. I was finishing up some work, when I heard a crash from the bedroom! I immediately knew what it was...Mario had finally killed his glasses!

A moment of silence.

Those glasses have put up quite a fight over the years. I'm sure most of you know Mario falls asleep at the drop of a hat. Most of the time he falls asleep before he even knows he's tired. This means that he falls sleep with his glasses on all the time.

Most of the time, I hear snoring, laughing, some talking or grunting...and then I hear his glasses hit the ground. Never fails. Most of the time I'll get in bed and take his glasses off of him. So, I'm not surprised that they were killed. I was surprised at the number of pieces and how loud this killing was. They put up quite a fight.

It worked out well though because Mario was over due for a visit to the optometrist. He had an appointment a few weeks ago but had to cancel because of work. This time there was no choice. He couldn't see shit. So drawing story boards was not going to happen. Although, I kind of would have like to see how different his drawings would have been.

Needless to say, I had to drive him around that day. Until he got his new glasses. I was happy. It's been so long since I've had my man to myself on a Friday. So, we picked out some glasses. Then took off to run some errands while we waited. This is where I got to find out just how blind the man is. While we drove around Mario suddenly yelled "I see fireworks!" "No honey that's a bunch of cars driving by on the hill above us." He was so excited about the fireworks, I was bummed to tell him there really wasn't any. Of course I still made fun of him all night.

We had a great day hanging out and spending some time together. We had sushi and shopped. We walked around town and enjoyed that there was nothing he could really do until he could see again. I loved it. Soon enough though, we headed back to pick up his glasses. We had to order two pairs. One that his insurance pays for, but would take a week to get. And also a cheapy pair that we could get in one day, so that Mario could function and actually work for the next week. The optometrist we go to has a clearance room. We were looking for the cheapest pair we could find. I picked up a pair as a joke and handed them over. Even though he was blind, he did not even want to try them on. He rolled his blind eyes at me, but still tried them on to humor me.

And they looked so good on him! I might just like the back up pair better than the real pair of glasses. Mario really likes them also, but I think he might be tired of me telling him how cute he is. Every time I see him in his glasses...I want to bite him! He looks so cute!!!!

Excited!

2010-11-19T01:45:00.000-08:00

Can I tell you how excited I am? I just found out that I get to be in the room while my friend is having her third baby.

I was there for baby number one. We were all new at the birthing thing. It was awesome and amazing...and totally alien. It still is so strange to see a small human emerge from another. You can't disagree really. Just think about it.

However, it was still the most amazing thing I've been a part of. So tonight when KT asked if I'd be around to video baby number 3's birth...I was all over it! And let me just set the record straight on the "videoing" the birth. We've had some ups and downs over the years and this is her way of testing the waters with where our relationship is now. We've really made an effort to better our friendship. And I'm excited for us to be back at that spot where I am a part of such an important event. Besides me "videoing" is me holding a video camera and crying loudly saying stuff like "Oh my god! Look at him" and "oh my god, what is that?" with lots of shots of the ground and walls and the baby and nurses and then the floor again.

You might wonder about baby number 2? Well, I was in the wrong part of the state while he was being born. I do almost share the same birthday with number two. He was due on my birthday but he went over. I went out of town for my birthday and he showed up. He's my hunk-a-hunk of burning love.

KT bakes some big boys. Joey was just over 9 lbs (I believe), Isaac was 11 lbs 4 ounces, and the doctor has already hinted that Silas will be on the larger side. I can't wait. They are my boys and I torture them with kisses...too bad that's what they get with Auntie Laura.

This is my favorite picture of them. I love how Isaac is completely passed out and I love even more that Joey knows how funny this photo is.

Mario went shopping...and brought me back a blog post!

2010-11-18T03:19:00.000-08:00

My mother-in-law's birthday is this weekend. Saturday, we're going out for high tea and will spend most the day hanging out. Of course Mario and Angela shopped around last week for that perfect birthday gift. The search was long and hard! The winner was found at Bed, Bath, and Beyond...an over the toilet bathroom cabinet. Only the best for Isabella!

Tonight was to be the official purchase of said bathroom cabinet. They headed out, shopped and were back before I knew it. I was shocked how fast they really were. When I mentioned this to Mario, his response was "Well, it was time enough for things to happen". What the hell does that mean? This was his explanation...

While they drove to the store, they made sure to formulate a plan of attack. First and foremost they wanted in and out of the store quick. No dilly dallying! The second issue was the weight of the cabinet...she was heavy! So, they decided to pull up in the loading zone. Angela would stay in the car, while Mario ran inside and put the cabinet into a cart. Then he would run out to the car and Angela would run in and pay for it. She'd bring the cabinet back out and then Mario would load it into the car. (Why the need for all the weird switching back and forth...I have no idea.)

When they pulled up in front of the store, it was getting close to closing time. People were running around trying to get the last minute shopping in before the store closed. Mario grabbed a shopping cart and headed over to the center of the store where the cabinet was. This is where the first problem became apparent. The shopping cart won't actually fit down the isle. So, he had to park the cart at the end of the isle. He then headed in to get the cabinet. He picked up the box and started heading back to the cart. He only has to carry this box ten feet to the cart on the main isle. However, halfway to the cart is where problem number two became apparent. He felt his shorts start to slip. This is where he paused to make a very important decision...Do I put the box down and catch my shorts? Or do I keep walking the last five feet to the cart and chance it?

Not a man to give in...he decided to take that box all the way to the cart! After all, it was a birthday present for his mother! And when he hit the end of the isle...his shorts were down around his knees! He then had to shimmy knock-kneed into the main isle carrying a heavy box while trying to keep his shorts from going down any further.

He tossed that bitch into the cart, rescued his shorts from the floor, peeked around to make sure no one had called the cops on him for indecent exposure and headed out the door to tap out and send Angela in to pay!

What I love is that there was not one bit of embarrassment! It was like it happens all the time ...I hope not. He was also absolutely sure that none of those people running around the store had seen a thing. No one saw him shimmying around with shorts at his knees trying to get a heavy box in the cart...except for that security guard watching all the security camera's in the back room! Someone is gonna make $10,000 off of my husband...and I'm pissed it's not me!